HorseChik

OKC Pirate, congrats! I tried to do the same thing, but had an uncooperative ex who didn't. Your lawyer is right - the best revenge is living a happy life and knowing you did the right thing for yourself and your kids. Keep on the high road!

@@mngreeneyes - I do wish my ex had shared my philosophy too ;-(
Every now and then she has a lucid moment and will let me know that she does appreciate how I set things up for her.

Five years ago today my divorce was finalized. It was the end of a rough process. It isn’t easy separating your life from someone who you had been with for 21 years and had four children with. It also means that even though we are divorced, we will be seeing each other during every major life event in our children’s life.
With that reality in mind, I had a couple of goals when I went into this process five years ago…
#1 – Kids
Make sure they always know that I love them, they are not at fault and I will always have their back. Also never work to separate them from their mother, and to never disparage my ex in front of the kids. I never wanted my kids to think they had to choose between us.
#2 – Get out with as much dignity as possible
I wanted out with as little public embarrassment, and with as little financial cost as possible. But I also knew that my ex was going to have a harder time than I would getting started again. So for the last five years I have been paying her alimony. I made my final payment last month.
I understand some men (and women) get caught in some very bad situations because of sudden job loss and alimony can become inherently unfair. But in my case I thought it was important to supplement my ex’s income to help her maintain her dignity as she began a new chapter in her life. I didn’t want my kids to think I threw her to the curb to fend for herself.
The financial entanglements with my ex have now ended,and I wish her the best.
I hope the kids see their parents as people who had their differences and could no longer live together, but never stopped loving and looking out for them. We will always be your parents, we love you and we have your back, always.
All that said I think I have met my goals. I recently looked at my blood work from six years ago and what it is now. Six years ago I saw a person who was going downhill rapidly. This year's is nearly perfect. Thanks to WLS my health has never been better.
My attorney told me, if you want to get revenge in a divorce, live a happy life. If she is miserable because of it, that is on her. If she isn't, well you have a happy life.

I just finished reading all the posts here and I have a few comments to add. First, those who preferred sleeve to bypass because they didn't want their small intestines cut in to, you had more than half your stomach removed from your body! I didn't feel okay with that. Second, it also can depend on the comorbidities that you have with what surgery you prefer. I am a Type 2 diabetic who had extreme insulin resistance and just continued to raise the amount of insulin I needed to even be somewhat better with blood sugars (it still didn't work). I've been on an insulin pump for 4 years and it just continued getting worse and worse. I have been eating a low carb diet for over 5 years and that wasn't even helping anymore. Because my diabetes was beginning to affect organs, this was my last effort to gain control. I wanted the RNY gastric bypass because it showed better results for diabetic patients. Although your intestines are being "rerouted" to the newly created "pouch", nothing is being removed from the body. I felt better about that too. I was warned, however, by the surgeons nurse that once they were in and they felt the bypass wasn't an option at that point, then they would do a sleeve. I had to agree to that, but everything went well and I had my bypass almost 8 weeks ago. I'm 35 pounds lighter (although I'm stuck in a stall right now), my blood sugar numbers are perfect (even though I still use my insulin pump, I only use for basal insulin and not bolus anymore). I have experienced dumping a few times; a couple times for overeating, and a couple times for eating too fast I think since I hadn't eaten enough food to be over what I should have eaten yet. Dumping is painful, it's horrible, and I try to avoid it at all costs. If I knew back when what I know now about WLS, I would have done this years ago. But, live and learn. As long as it continues to improve my health, I'm ready to live a longer, healthier, happier life!
Whatever decision you make for yourself right now, feel confident that it is the right one for you. Listen to your surgeon and other healthcare people, and listen to your heart. You will know what is right for you.

That is precisely the position I'm in. I LOVE MY SLEEVE. It is perfect. It offers great restriction but allows me to eat anything. It's perfect except it's trying to kill me with the excess acid. I'm going through a mourning period right now and know that I'll be sad to see it go when I revise to bypass on 7/1. My sleeve gave me a life I could never imagine. I'm really tired of people bashing the sleeve as an inferior surgery and reassuring new patients that you can revise to the better surgery when your sleeve fails. For the most part, sleeves don't fail, people do. Do the hard work and your sleeve will reward you. Although I'm losing my sleeve and will technically be a "RNYer" I will always consider myself part of the VSG family.
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One thing is certain, I don't think you'll regret your choice no matter which one you choose. When you're starting over 300 pounds, I feel like it's almost impossible to get to a normal weight without medical intervention. I can't think of anyone that I know personally that was ever that heavy and lost to a normal weight.

There is no "need" to revise a sleeve (except for severe gerd or acid reflux). The need is in revising your eating habits. Most people who have gotten sleeve revisions could not control their eating. In either case, if you cannot/do not change your eating habits, it doesn't matter which procedure you get.

@@hernewselfie when all is said and done, people have success with either surgery. It's up to you to decide if you want more accountability, longer weight loss period, no need to revise, or if you want safer, less restrictive, less surgery time, less long-term data. Realistically speaking, there isn't a huge discrepancy between the two surgeries concerning most of these things. "safer" means a fraction of 1% safer. "Less surgery time" means 30-60 minutes less surgery time. The main differences between them that matter in the end are a need to revise, the amount of restriction you want or feel you need to be successful, and whether you're willing to need to take a couple Vitamins a day for the rest of your life. Either way, you will be successful if you do what your plan requires of you. So you play it safe and get the sleeve if that is something that concerns you, or you take a risk and get the bypass, knowing that it is a step beyond the sleeve and wanting that extra step. Good luck to you!

I've decided on sleeve. My highest weight was 341. Arthritis runs in my family, so having the option of using NSAIDs was attractive to me. I don't have significant reflux or other comorbidities.
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I went with the sleeve because I am not one to take pills on a daily basis--which is required for the malabsorption issues that accompany the bypass. I have four kids for a reason, people! Regardless of what you choose, just like @@her1981 stated, your long term success comes with how and if you retrain yourself in that one year grace period that follows any weight loss surgery. You need to develop good eating habits and exercise habits. There is no way around it. The sleeve and bypass are just tools to help you control QUANTITY. You have to choose the QUALITY.

I can't decide which one I want. I'm really leaning more toward the bypass, though, mainly because of the accountability and the faster weight loss. The surgeons and bariatric center doctors I'm going to are the ones who have the final say which surgery will be best for me. That's ok with me, though, because they have a higher than normal success rate with their patients.....so I'll follow what they say, in their experience, will be the best option for me.

I'm leaning towards bypass as well for those reasons. I'm excited to see what my surgeon recommends. But I've already been told I can choose either one so I think bypass it is [emoji4]

I'm 9 months post op and I chose the bypass for a few reasons. First, I wanted the extra accountability. Second, a lot of people who get the sleeve end up wanting, getting, or wanting but not being able to afford the bypass. Why would I cut into my body and risk my life twice, when odds are, I would want the bypass eventually? Also, for people who start high like us, the bypass is often better because statistically, bypass patients lose more than sleeve patients. Not to mention, MUCH more data exists for the bypass than the sleeve. People who got the lapband before there was a lot of long term data often really regret it and the majority of them ended up getting revisions anyway (seeing a trend here? ). I decided once and for all that if I was going to go through the pain and difficulty and recovery of a major abdominal surgery, I was going to do get the most bang for my buck, the most accountability, the most weight loss, the highest chances of long term success, and only cut into once. For all of these reasons, the bypass was what I went with in the end.
I can honestly say I have no regrets at all. I've lost over 150 pounds since surgery 9 months ago. I feel amazing, I've had no complications, and my life is pretty damn good. I'm finishing school in the fall and moving on with my life. My hunger has been returning now, but it's so incredibly manageable; when I eat a small amount of healthy food, the hunger is gone. This was my biggest dream: to be able to live a normal life out of the control of food and my extra weight. I've still got about 65 pounds to go (including skin. No idea how much extra skin I have). But I'm seeing visions of my goal as it approaches and I can say I would do this a thousand times more if it always resulted in this.
highest weight: 442
weight when the bariatric program started: 402
day of surgery: 387
current weight: 235
goal weight: 170

The way I see it, these are people that generally dislike medical intervention and surgeries, or they resent that someone was able to achieve weight loss and they couldn't. America in general has gained weight to the point where normal weight has turned into skinny and overweight is now normal. Even American clothing sizes have changed to make people feel better about the size listed on the tag.
Next time just smile and say, "Yeah! Surgery was so easy! I had keep regular appointments with my RD & MD to make sure I stuck to a new healthier lifestyle--including exercise, making smart food choices, keep a diary, take daily supplements--and will continue to make appointments until I'm dead or broke."

Fat = lazy slob
Drig and alcohol = poor thing probably had a rough life and needs help.
Nobody cares why someone is overweight because you're just lazy. Even with studies showing sugar is even more addicting than some drugs.
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I had a lifting restriction of 20 pounds for 3 weeks. After that I was back to lifting 40-80 pounds. But these are weights I was used to lifting everyday before surgery at my job and at home. It wasn't like I just jumped into a new "weight lifting program" fresh out of surgery. Other than someone shoveling snow for me twice postop, there was nothing I couldn't do for myself. But check with your own surgeon about what physical restrictions you will have. I think mine was one of the more generous ones and I was in strong, good physical shape to start with
As for the ticker, click on the "Hello HorseChik" at the top of the page and select My Tickers from the pull down menu. Your weights get entered under My Surgery.

Wow. I'm just starting the process to get the surgery (just got my referral to the surgeons from my primary care doctor). And already I'm getting the "do you even know how risky that surgery is? Have you tried weight watchers? Have you exercised? Have you.....? Have you....? That hunger is all in your head!" Blah, blah, blah.
I know my family and friends mean well, but sheesh! Nothing else has worked yet to keep this weight off! I'm already to the point that I'm not going to say anything about my decision to anyone else. I'm just going to do it, and when thin people ask how I lost the weight, I'll tell them "I don't know....it just magically came off" lol!
Me lazy? I work myself to oblivion. 2 days ago, I worked 15 hours JUST at work (not including my home chores). Yesterday, I started work at 3pm, and worked until 6am this morning. Then I slept until 2pm....an hour ago. I've been working 2-3 jobs for years.....AND went to school full time for 1.5 years until last December. Go ahead....call me lazy again!
MissMac.....you pinned it EXACTLY!!!! Well said my friend

There are so many more stereotypes about overweight people besides being lazy and taking the perceived "easy way out" with bariatric surgery.
People think we are poor. Gina Rinehart of Australia, who owns a mineral exploration company, is the richest woman in the world. It looks like from her pictures that she may weigh around 300 pounds, more or less.
People think we are stupid. Obviously, none of her fat-shaming critics are as smart as she is, or they would be as rich as she is. As for our critics, they don't count our street-smarts, life experiences and common sense either. My Grandfather was a farmer, but what he knew about agricultural science, meteorology, and animal husbandry would put any Smarty Pants to shame in a debate about those subjects. He was obese.
People think we are lazy. Grandpa got up before dawn to milk the cows and he was busy until time to go to bed, never wasting a moment of daylight. I have a college degree which I got at the age of 58. I have worked too hard all of my life and finally worked myself into a stroke on the job. Anyone who wants to call me lazy can meet my fist.
People think we are dirty and have poor hygiene. Well, excuuuuuuse me. I shower every day and keep my house clean enough that you can at least see where the furniture is when you come in the door.
People think we are ignorant about nutrition. I dare say that most of us have fought our weight and dieted so much that we are experts on nutrition. But when Pepsi is cheaper than milk and Twinkies are cheaper than produce, it is easy to bring poor choices home. I believe that for the most part, our obesity has been due to: 1) our family environment and what we were fed growing up 2) obesogenic medications 3) medical conditions such as PCOS or thyroid disturbances, and then 4) portion distortion, clean your plate syndrome, and drive-through-itis, which is a chronic addiction perpetuated by fast food restaurants through the use of salt, grease, and sugar. The first three listed ingredients in their fries are potatoes, oil, dextrose (which is sugar).
I asked my dad one time when I was little about why is it that most poor people are fat instead of skinny. He explained that the cheapest foods are potatoes, Pasta, and rice and that the more nutritious foods are often too expensive for them. Personally, I grew up on Kraft mac and cheese, hot dogs, and Pop-Tarts. My whole family is obese.
There definitley is a double standard when it comes to obesity. Given the odds stacked against us, I think bariatric surgery is the smartest way to go. Haters are just ignorant of the facts.

Why is it that when people hear that someone who was destroying their body through obesity has lost 100+ pounds with the help of surgery, some will call that a "cop out" or the "easy way out".....
But when someone who is destroying their life through alcohol abuse and gets help through an intensive, in-patient recovery program with medical professionals....how come that's perfectly okay, even laudable?
Why is getting serious medical intervention for obesity treated like something to be ashamed of, when we applaud those who take similar intense intervention to drug or alcohol addictions?
Aren't we all just trying to save our lives ?
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@@Sharpie sounds like you've got a great setup. So nice to have family close by. BTW, Does your hay man travel? I have to load, unload, and stack 8 tons of hay by myself every year....80 pounds at a time. But I guess that's why I never have to go to the gym . And I consider myself very lucky to not have to clean stalls. Harrowing the corral 4-5 times a year is all the manure maintenance I have to do.
Have a great Memorial Day....

i was riding my horse at 240. I'm now 140. There are guys i ride with that probably weigh 250. But they have bigger horses...Tennessee walkers, Peruvian draft crosses, andalusians, etc. so it's not an issue. A couple clients of ours are outfitters and they have a few draft horses to accommodate their larger clients, but they still cut it off at 300 pounds. They also stay to fairly level trails, they aren't bushwacking up a mountain side, through thick brush, over deadfall and crossing deep creeks like we often do. And like you said it depends on the breed and build of the horse. A 14 hand Arabian, for example, certainly wouldn't do well carrying a 300 pound rider.

My surgery was 5/25 and the guy that I hired to take care of stalls and other heavy barn work bailed on me. I figured I could do it if I was careful! WRONG! I can see that I will have to be aware that I have had major surgery and treat myself as such until I heal. I ended up calling someone today that says he will come out and clean stalls, pick local fields and dump manure. If I want to stay under the weight limit restrictions I must let others due things for me. Three main reasons for having surgery were health, riding and employability. Don't want to screw it up now.

I'm getting sleeved in one week and just had this conversation with my horse last night. I can't wait to see the difference losing my weight and developing my core muscles will make. My boy is draftx and I made sure he was able to handle my weight. I want more confidence and think that weight loss will definitely benefit.
I can honestly say that right behind health this is the main reason I am pursuing the sleeve. I want to see what riding would be like if I were lighter and more balanced. Someone mentioned energy level. No can't wait to see how my energy level changes. I am so excited for my new journey to begin.

I'm just learning about the sleeve....pretty excited!
I'm 250 and not riding my horse right now......except for bareback in the arena for 5-10 minutes every once in awhile He's only 14.2 hands and even though he can carry me, I'm not going to make him. I do take him for 3-5 mile walks with me and my BFF, tho! He loves it!
One of the reasons (besides my health and apnea) I want to lose this 110# is because I'm planning on entering the Clinton Anderson Academy to become a clinician.....and I can't do that at 250#
Someone else mentioned her balance on horseback is much better since her weight loss. I used to do a LOT of riding....mine and exercising others' horses. And I can definitely tell a huge difference in my balance and whole riding posture, etc.
Looking forward to getting to know more of you here! I'm going to my first meeting with the doctors tonight.....woo hooo!!!!