Pondlife

My Bmi is 48 and I still have almost a year until I can have the surgery. I guess I have plenty of time to do my research and get my ducks in a row as much as possible.

I cannot even imagine what this phrase means!
LOL!

@@Babbs - he may need an anatomy book to know what parts you are talking about

i've seen people say "that person had the surgery i don't give them credit"
like dude you don't have the credit to give anyway..foh...and then at the same time they still have contempt for overweight people
people are weird man

No one has given me any shit about my surgery, but I don't tell everybody I meet on the street about it. I wouldn't hesitate for one second the bitch slap anybody who tried to tell me what to do with my own body. At best, it is disrespectful, inappropriate, and absolutely too personal for anyone to comment on someone else's body. Let alone the choices they make for their bodies.
Fat people need to ditch the shame. We are just as accountable, for letting people in our lives, and letting our culture bully us into feeling ashamed of our beautiful bodies. Fat bodies are soft, fat bodies around, fat bodies are shapely and and have been worshiped in every culture over many thousands of years.
Our modern culture is sicker than morbid obesity makes us. We have every right to be who we are-fat or thin-and the road we have taken to get there, is ours alone.
No one has the right to diminish you unless you give them that right.
No one has the right to tell you you should be something different than you are. Only you can decide that.
You are the only authority when it comes to your body, your soul, and your life. Do not give away the power that is innately yours!

I'm pre surgery.. My thought is your not there yet, maybe you got it in you to try the excercise diet route one more time. I think each person who does this has the Aha moment.. For me I just can't continue the cycle of the gain/ lose going on any longer. I was scared of the surgery but after attending the meeting run by the surgeon that fear has subsided... I would suggest you find a pre-surgery meeting run by a surgeon and just gather info.
No harm in even having a consult with one if your insurance allows.
Better for you to make this decision based on being informed rather than deciding based on people's opinions who may or may not be informed about the surgery.
As you read on the threads here, finding support from others in our life isn't a given.
Those who haven't struggled with weight, just don't know.
Good luck
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All I can say is that the stats indicate that only 5% of morbidly obese people who lose weight on their own actually keep it off. The issue is not losing - we've all lost weight over the years but we seem to find it rather quickly (and with a few more pounds along for the ride). I was thinking about WLS a few years back and didn't want anything that "drastic" because I could do it on my own. Well - I can't and will be getting the sleeve in a few months. If it were as easy to "change your lifestyle" and lose weight - we would have done it already. Unfortunately, I can't change without help from the tool of WLS. I have several more health problems than I had when I first starting looking into surgery.

I hate seeing this, I'm only a C now. I'll be training bra after
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The appointment with the doctor's office yesterday was phenomenal in some ways. This might get long, and I hope it's not too confusing!
Backing up: It was about a week ago when someone at BCBS first called my coordinator saying I wasn't covered for VSG. I was sure it was some error or someone reading the wrong file or something. Right away, I suggested to my staff that IF that is true (and I didn't believe it then), we could have me do the hernia repair and then just add-on the surgeon fee for the VSG and do all at once. Makes total sense, and I can see you all understand this concept here! So, I called BCBS myself to get it straightened out and they were still telling me it's all fine, medically necessary, you're covered, etc (that person didn't look deeper into the employer benefits exclusion at that time, and I wasn't aware of it). Even though I thought we were now good to go and the coordinator believed it too, since that time my surgeon was alerted to all of this by the staff, and started looking into the ability to do this "VSG-piggyback-on-the-Hernia" plan for me.
Fast forward to yesterday: I started my appointment with the coordinator and shared all the details about how I'd just learned that I'm now definitely NOT covered for VSG due to employer's exclusion buried deep within their policy somewhere. She explained that Doc has been working on the contingency plan all week long with the hospital. Next, went into examination room for weigh, go over meds, all that stuff with nurse. Next, the doctor and most of his staff met me in the hall and then led me into his office to talk, just the two of us. He explained that at our hospital, this piggyback-VSG had never been done, though he'd tried many times before and the hospital bigwigs would not budge. In my case, he was somehow able to get through to the top brass there to get it accepted as a new procedure. This may in part be because I've been through this long process for months, met every requirement, medical necessity with several co-morbidities, and we were now just DAYS away from my scheduled surgery date. I think that the urgency helped.
During our meeting in his office, my PA interrupted to say so-and-so was on the phone, did he want to take it now or call later? He kind of darted out of the office and left me there for at least 15 minutes (I figured it was some emergency). When he came back, he said that was actually about my case; they were literally still getting finance dept people at the hospital on board with the piggyback-VSG while I was there!
Because I'm their guinea pig for this, they couldn't give me a $ figure so I couldn't even comprehend if I could afford what they were trying to do. Finally, they got a figure for the VSG portion. In order to get this squared away immediately so that I could know that I'm actually getting surgery on Monday, I paid 50% of that figure with a credit card right there. If I had time, I might have looked into the Care Credit financing or something...but no time.
My entire staff was so kind and so wonderfully human about this whole thing. I felt like they genuinely cared about me, they realize how hard I've worked and how much I want and need this. We were all celebrating after we got the breakthrough with the hospital that will now allow a self-pay VSG tied together with covered hernia repair, for the first time ever. My Doc said that my case will enable more patients who really need this to be able to get it done at our hospital in the future. I actually feel really proud and excited about this.

Yesterday marked 3 weeks until my "BIG" day. And I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack.
I have always struggled with anxiety, and as I have aged, it has improved significantly unless something major triggers it. But even then, my rebound time is much faster than it was 5+ years ago. My coping skills have improved. Go me!
However, between the surgery being right around the corner, and a VERY stressful job...this little lady is all out of sorts. I tried the whole "retreat" mechanism which is my first instinct when things get tough. I shut down. I shut everyone near and dear to me out. And I process. And while I enjoy this option more, I know that it is unhealthy and what has played a huge role in my weight. Because while I am secluded in my own little world, all I need is me and my food. Gimme that chocolate and some of those potatoes. And I slowly begin to reappear, eventually. So here are my concerns:
-Work (stressful job + unhealthy relationship with a superior)
-Pre op and post op diet
(I've done the research. I have a ton of material from my surgeon's office. I truly am prepared. But I have totally allowed my mind to screw with me and convince me that I'm not. Anxiety, remember? I'm not worried about the length of the specific diets or stages or what I can or CAN'T have. I literally just feel like everything I've learned over the last 9 months has suddenly vanished. My diet starts Tuesday. So I plan to sit and dive right back into my manuals within the next day or so and re-educate/reassure myself that I do know and I do understand what I am to do.......)
-Energy levels after WLS (I've read where it is not uncommon to feel less than par for up to 6 weeks after surgery. Some sooner, some longer. I'm worried that I'm going to tire more easily and am concerned with how this will affect my job performance..if at all? I work as an IT consultant and we have multiple clients which include 3 hospitals + multiple physician and Lawyers offices. I am constantly on the freakin go. Work begins before I leave my house in the morning and continues after I arrive home. I am hands on and regularly crawling on the floor to look at/repair computers, servers, you name it. The one upside to my job is that I am on my feet more so than not. So, I'm always sure to average between 7,000 and 10,000 steps at work alone.)
-There are a few more concerns...but I'll stop there
So, my concerns aren't whether I'm going to lose fast or have excess skin. I mean...those are possibly there...but way way wayyyy down on the list. I'm mostly concerned about my emotional well being after surgery. I know that this is going to be as much mental...if not more...than physical. And I don't know whether to reach for a Xanax or a brown paper bag
I do know that I've got to get out of my head and some of my concerns are probably minute and a waist of energy. Which is why I am here. I know that I need to get these things off my chest and talk them out. Only then will I feel better and become more comfortable with what is about to take place in my life. So here is Megan...in all her glory....vulnerable and transparent. [patting self on back]
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I will tell you the weirdest thing about this. I got up around 4am. No particular reason just went to bed too early so I was up. I popped on some Netflix and as I was laying there I realized back in the day if I had woken up at this time I'd have been hungry. And by all rights I should be hungry I mean I'm living in shakes and Jello and broth. I must be hungry. But you don't feel it. You don't get that empty feeling in your stomach at all so you just kinda feel regular. Not full. Not hungry. Just kinda in the middle. It's really weird. Good tho becuz you're not compelled to get up and eat like I might've been in the past.
I'm going home tomorrow. I've been at my dad's since surgery. I'd be interested to see if I've lost weight these last few days. I mean I must have. Wed i ate nothing. Thursday barely anything plus threw up twice. Friday some broth and shakes and Jello. So we'll see. I'll keep you posted!