Annie_Oakley

My doctor advised me that I wouldn't be able to get in the 64 oz at first. They suggested 24 oz of Water plus my other Clear liquids and shakes would be more realistic this early. I was also sleeved on the 27th.
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I'm April 27th in Michigan too! My Dr. is Dr. Zeni, who is yours? Height 5'3 SW 199. Getting excited!

Thank you all for your wise words. I am probably going to tell her on Monday I just can't see not telling her. If she found out after the fact, she would be hurt and I really don't want that either. Just going to be strong and resolute and explain that I am looking for support and that I have already made MY decision.
Told my 20 year old daughter tonight. She seemed ok with it. Asked some questions. She had just learned about it in a nutrition class in college! What are the odds LOL!

Thank you all for your wise words. I am probably going to tell her on Monday I just can't see not telling her. If she found out after the fact, she would be hurt and I really don't want that either. Just going to be strong and resolute and explain that I am looking for support and that I have already made MY decision.
Told my 20 year old daughter tonight. She seemed ok with it. Asked some questions. She had just learned about it in a nutrition class in college! What are the odds LOL!

There are sample letters to write to your insurance company on Obesity Action Coalition website. You could adjust it to make it more personal. I am not telling my Mom until close to the surgery but I am telling her. It's a major surgery and I don't feel right keeping it from her. Plus she lives 2 miles from me and there's no way I could avoid telling her. I think your Mom may surprise you - give her a chance! Good luck!

Age 45, 5 months post-op & have not told my mom (she does not live nearby). She would not have been supportive and it would have totally stressed me out. You're doing this for your own health and well-being. We cannot expect everyone else to understand or expect their positive support. Once someone is told they cannot be "un-told." Do what your gut tells you - you know your relationships best!

Just be very, very clear that you have already researched and your mind is 100% made up, so you are asking for her support, not her opinion on the surgery.
You might be pleasantly surprised

Omg ladies, do we all have mom's like this? I'm 43 and my mom still treats me like I'm 16. Been married for more than 25 years and a mom for over 20 years. She always said eat less exercise more, you don't need surgery, quit being lazy and get up and move more. So many comments over my lifetime. I know she loves me but I never felt good enough. I told her a week before my surgery. I explained that I needed to do this for me and if she didn't like it, that was fine but that I was doing it regardless of what she thought. Surprisingly she was very supportive of my surgery and stayed at the hospital with me. Btw the reason for being so surprised is I have 4 children and 3 other surgeries and she has never been to any of them. Lol but she was there for this one. Year and a half later she is still supporting my decision and thinks it was a great idea. Tell her but be strong and let her know it's your decision to make.
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I have a similar issue but it's my sister who I have to decide whether I tell or not. We live on other sides of the world so my instinct is to tell her when I see her next (in July). When I raised the subject with her before she was pretty horrified and said that if I must do it to make sure it's reversible. Well, it won't be so I'm more than ever certain it's best not to say. We are very close in spite of the distance apart, but she can be very judgemental. As to telling your mum, you know her best. If you think she would be very upset and hurt to be kept out of the loop then I would tell her. Otherwise you might say that you wanted to not worry her until you are on the road to recovery but preferably before your dinner date.

​"She is the mother who handed me two Cookies, one for each hand, when I was crying as a child".
Was that really about "cookies"? Of course not. That woman loves YOU. You know that---I know you do from the words you wrote.
How hurt do you think she will be when she does find out--and she will.
If you are truly committed to having WLS, nothing anyone could say will sway you from having the surgery. You probably will be able to calm any of their fears.
Reach down within yourself and pull the words from your heart. You will find them from within yourself.
She's your mother and she loves you. She deserves your trust now just as much as you deserve hers.
All will be well.
Prayers going up for you, my friend.

I don't know about the letter but I wpuld like to share with you that I was in a similar situation. I was so afraid to tell my parents. 32 years old with a hubby and child of my own but I just knew they would be against it and try and say I was taking the easy way.
I finally decided to tell them and they were so supportive. That's very unusual because my family is judgy. They have really been very interested in my whole process now and are looking forward to me getting healthy. I truly believe that as your parents she will be much more receptive then you may think. I sure was surprised. Congrats on your journey !!
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