CaridadM

Hi Mdsd52

I had my surgery on 03/2016. Due to my complications I lost weight very quickly. I went from 315 to about 199 by Jan 2017.
I understand your frustrations and fears alot. Even as I was losing weight on the outside I was in an emotional turmoil on the inside. I was unable to drink Water beyond a few sips for months. I followed the trajectory of "typical" gastric sleeves and I was not having the same plateaus as others.
My NG tube was removed 3 weeks after my surgery. I returned to work finally after my 5th week on leave.
I will not say it was easy. I started at work being able to only eat 4 it's of cream of chicken Soup and baby oatmeal. For wèeks that's all I had. I couldn't tolerate Protein or milk. I threw Every thing up.
I was so scared and second guessing the surgery every step of the way. People ask me now do I regret it and I say " you have to have a certain level of inner strength to get thru the process."
I was an atypical gastric sleeve patient but as I began to understand my body more and paying attention to triggers. I became more comfortable with eating again.
To this day I still throw up if I eat the wrong thing or to much. This pulls me down emotionally sometimes.
All I can say to you is this is a hard and bleak time now. Even though your body is not responding the way the typical patients heal. Does not mean you will not. If your like me it just may take a lot longer.
I have to add this. Due to my surgery I became more fertile and I got pregnant 9 months after my surgery ( also not recommended).
I was so scared because I barely was getting enough calories for me - now I have to eat a certain amount more to sustain a child. I had a few complications during my pregnancy. But my son was born 09/2017. In this I am thankful for the surgery. I thought my chances at having children had passed.
I say this to say... Dont give up and remember others have been where you are even if you can't find others like you online... In a year or two life can be dramatically different.
But for now please be patient with yourself and your doctors... If you need more answers explore other bariatric MD's and get there input. I had my surgery at Univ of Chicago
If you want more info or have questions or simply need to cry and vent during this time I can be your ear.

I am sorry to hear of your complications but remember be patient. Just be patient with yourself and it is ok to be afraid and angry and happy all at once at this chaotic time.

Hi Mdsd52

I had my surgery on 03/2016. Due to my complications I lost weight very quickly. I went from 315 to about 199 by Jan 2017.
I understand your frustrations and fears alot. Even as I was losing weight on the outside I was in an emotional turmoil on the inside. I was unable to drink Water beyond a few sips for months. I followed the trajectory of "typical" gastric sleeves and I was not having the same plateaus as others.
My NG tube was removed 3 weeks after my surgery. I returned to work finally after my 5th week on leave.
I will not say it was easy. I started at work being able to only eat 4 it's of cream of chicken Soup and baby oatmeal. For wèeks that's all I had. I couldn't tolerate Protein or milk. I threw Every thing up.
I was so scared and second guessing the surgery every step of the way. People ask me now do I regret it and I say " you have to have a certain level of inner strength to get thru the process."
I was an atypical gastric sleeve patient but as I began to understand my body more and paying attention to triggers. I became more comfortable with eating again.
To this day I still throw up if I eat the wrong thing or to much. This pulls me down emotionally sometimes.
All I can say to you is this is a hard and bleak time now. Even though your body is not responding the way the typical patients heal. Does not mean you will not. If your like me it just may take a lot longer.
I have to add this. Due to my surgery I became more fertile and I got pregnant 9 months after my surgery ( also not recommended).
I was so scared because I barely was getting enough calories for me - now I have to eat a certain amount more to sustain a child. I had a few complications during my pregnancy. But my son was born 09/2017. In this I am thankful for the surgery. I thought my chances at having children had passed.
I say this to say... Dont give up and remember others have been where you are even if you can't find others like you online... In a year or two life can be dramatically different.
But for now please be patient with yourself and your doctors... If you need more answers explore other bariatric MD's and get there input. I had my surgery at Univ of Chicago
If you want more info or have questions or simply need to cry and vent during this time I can be your ear.

I am sorry to hear of your complications but remember be patient. Just be patient with yourself and it is ok to be afraid and angry and happy all at once at this chaotic time.

LauraEllen it is terrible you feel this way about yourself. We are all made different so we can contribute our individuality to the world.
When I look at your picture I do not see a ugly girl. I see a beautiful woman who for reasons only known to herself is still searching for her center.
I too use to make fun of my facial features. Being of mixed heritage it is difficult to see similarities with my parents. It troubled me amongst other things for many years. I use to remark on how large my eyes were, or my connecting eyebrows. But my biggest hiccup was my lips. When I sit without a smile I have a natural frown.
It took an artist friend of mine who took semi-professional of me to have me realize I am unique. My eyes, my nose my lips were fine for my face.
Now s/p surgery 03/04 I am still on a nj tube because I am unable to keep fluids down. I have already lost 27 lbs from 2/27 (preoperative diet).
However when I look in the mirror I too see the slimming face and smaller thighs. But apart of me misses those cheeks.
Truth is many like myself have hid behind our weight. Allowing us to be ignored in some fashion. We have adjusted into adulthood with the "ok" feeling that we would not be 1st desired in the room.
But we have done something about and we are trying to improve our lives.
I want to stress to you. Your inner peace will immediately reflect on your face. Come to admire your eyes, your mouth, your everything. Because in the end no matter how many friends, boyfriends, husbands are around shouting encouragment. We individually must believe in our selves.
Your beautiful Chica... and because of the vulnerability of your words - it shows your equally beautiful on the inside.
Just know your not alone in this battle
- Caridad
Caridad M.

LauraEllen it is terrible you feel this way about yourself. We are all made different so we can contribute our individuality to the world.
When I look at your picture I do not see a ugly girl. I see a beautiful woman who for reasons only known to herself is still searching for her center.
I too use to make fun of my facial features. Being of mixed heritage it is difficult to see similarities with my parents. It troubled me amongst other things for many years. I use to remark on how large my eyes were, or my connecting eyebrows. But my biggest hiccup was my lips. When I sit without a smile I have a natural frown.
It took an artist friend of mine who took semi-professional of me to have me realize I am unique. My eyes, my nose my lips were fine for my face.
Now s/p surgery 03/04 I am still on a nj tube because I am unable to keep fluids down. I have already lost 27 lbs from 2/27 (preoperative diet).
However when I look in the mirror I too see the slimming face and smaller thighs. But apart of me misses those cheeks.
Truth is many like myself have hid behind our weight. Allowing us to be ignored in some fashion. We have adjusted into adulthood with the "ok" feeling that we would not be 1st desired in the room.
But we have done something about and we are trying to improve our lives.
I want to stress to you. Your inner peace will immediately reflect on your face. Come to admire your eyes, your mouth, your everything. Because in the end no matter how many friends, boyfriends, husbands are around shouting encouragment. We individually must believe in our selves.
Your beautiful Chica... and because of the vulnerability of your words - it shows your equally beautiful on the inside.
Just know your not alone in this battle
- Caridad
Caridad M.

LauraEllen it is terrible you feel this way about yourself. We are all made different so we can contribute our individuality to the world.
When I look at your picture I do not see a ugly girl. I see a beautiful woman who for reasons only known to herself is still searching for her center.
I too use to make fun of my facial features. Being of mixed heritage it is difficult to see similarities with my parents. It troubled me amongst other things for many years. I use to remark on how large my eyes were, or my connecting eyebrows. But my biggest hiccup was my lips. When I sit without a smile I have a natural frown.
It took an artist friend of mine who took semi-professional of me to have me realize I am unique. My eyes, my nose my lips were fine for my face.
Now s/p surgery 03/04 I am still on a nj tube because I am unable to keep fluids down. I have already lost 27 lbs from 2/27 (preoperative diet).
However when I look in the mirror I too see the slimming face and smaller thighs. But apart of me misses those cheeks.
Truth is many like myself have hid behind our weight. Allowing us to be ignored in some fashion. We have adjusted into adulthood with the "ok" feeling that we would not be 1st desired in the room.
But we have done something about and we are trying to improve our lives.
I want to stress to you. Your inner peace will immediately reflect on your face. Come to admire your eyes, your mouth, your everything. Because in the end no matter how many friends, boyfriends, husbands are around shouting encouragment. We individually must believe in our selves.
Your beautiful Chica... and because of the vulnerability of your words - it shows your equally beautiful on the inside.
Just know your not alone in this battle
- Caridad
Caridad M.

Ha! That's cute ???? - your welcomeAs I go thru my complications from my surgery. I just realized all those on this blog are dealing with something.
I know this surgery was not an easy decision for me and I have many feelings wrapped around it... as many of you
But at least as this blog space goes we need to continue to encourage... I know it's helping me thru this trying time for me.
-Caridad
Caridad M.

LauraEllen it is terrible you feel this way about yourself. We are all made different so we can contribute our individuality to the world.
When I look at your picture I do not see a ugly girl. I see a beautiful woman who for reasons only known to herself is still searching for her center.
I too use to make fun of my facial features. Being of mixed heritage it is difficult to see similarities with my parents. It troubled me amongst other things for many years. I use to remark on how large my eyes were, or my connecting eyebrows. But my biggest hiccup was my lips. When I sit without a smile I have a natural frown.
It took an artist friend of mine who took semi-professional of me to have me realize I am unique. My eyes, my nose my lips were fine for my face.
Now s/p surgery 03/04 I am still on a nj tube because I am unable to keep fluids down. I have already lost 27 lbs from 2/27 (preoperative diet).
However when I look in the mirror I too see the slimming face and smaller thighs. But apart of me misses those cheeks.
Truth is many like myself have hid behind our weight. Allowing us to be ignored in some fashion. We have adjusted into adulthood with the "ok" feeling that we would not be 1st desired in the room.
But we have done something about and we are trying to improve our lives.
I want to stress to you. Your inner peace will immediately reflect on your face. Come to admire your eyes, your mouth, your everything. Because in the end no matter how many friends, boyfriends, husbands are around shouting encouragment. We individually must believe in our selves.
Your beautiful Chica... and because of the vulnerability of your words - it shows your equally beautiful on the inside.
Just know your not alone in this battle
- Caridad
Caridad M.

I am one of the rare ones that prefer Isopure to anything else. You can buy just 1 at GNC and try it without investing a lot of $$$ - if you do, I would recommend the Alpine Punch.

i hear ya. i went from NG to plus PICC to NJ to get strong (7 weeks in hospital) but 31 days with Nasojejunum tube...then another semi perm jejunum tube for about.14 months on off. i pulled out the NG tube cuz it sucked. its easy to do....I am wishing you the best. long road ahead but remember how strong you are and utilize your support system. All self preservation goes out the door after what we have gone through. Plus, I am a nurse so I see both sides now. get better...
t

Ha! That's cute ???? - your welcomeAs I go thru my complications from my surgery. I just realized all those on this blog are dealing with something.
I know this surgery was not an easy decision for me and I have many feelings wrapped around it... as many of you
But at least as this blog space goes we need to continue to encourage... I know it's helping me thru this trying time for me.
-Caridad
Caridad M.

LauraEllen it is terrible you feel this way about yourself. We are all made different so we can contribute our individuality to the world.
When I look at your picture I do not see a ugly girl. I see a beautiful woman who for reasons only known to herself is still searching for her center.
I too use to make fun of my facial features. Being of mixed heritage it is difficult to see similarities with my parents. It troubled me amongst other things for many years. I use to remark on how large my eyes were, or my connecting eyebrows. But my biggest hiccup was my lips. When I sit without a smile I have a natural frown.
It took an artist friend of mine who took semi-professional of me to have me realize I am unique. My eyes, my nose my lips were fine for my face.
Now s/p surgery 03/04 I am still on a nj tube because I am unable to keep fluids down. I have already lost 27 lbs from 2/27 (preoperative diet).
However when I look in the mirror I too see the slimming face and smaller thighs. But apart of me misses those cheeks.
Truth is many like myself have hid behind our weight. Allowing us to be ignored in some fashion. We have adjusted into adulthood with the "ok" feeling that we would not be 1st desired in the room.
But we have done something about and we are trying to improve our lives.
I want to stress to you. Your inner peace will immediately reflect on your face. Come to admire your eyes, your mouth, your everything. Because in the end no matter how many friends, boyfriends, husbands are around shouting encouragment. We individually must believe in our selves.
Your beautiful Chica... and because of the vulnerability of your words - it shows your equally beautiful on the inside.
Just know your not alone in this battle
- Caridad
Caridad M.

You are not broken. Sometimes it takes a bit.

Thank you Songsmith just hear someone else has been there helps. Luckily my NJ tube was inserted while under sedation. They also bridled it so it won't slip out. But the hardest has to be the feeding bags every night. Pushing 900 cc of Water thru it.
Now I'm trying to learn my own strength again. This is psychological pain now. My heart breaKS daily knowing I choose this procedure and now my outcome.
But I'm placing it in God hands now. I am resigning to his healing. Everyday see little baby steps of change. Like my baby stomach

March 4 th was my surgical date. Since 02/23 (preop diet) to today I've lost 30lbs Sent from my LG-H811 using the BariatricPal App

LauraEllen it is terrible you feel this way about yourself. We are all made different so we can contribute our individuality to the world.
When I look at your picture I do not see a ugly girl. I see a beautiful woman who for reasons only known to herself is still searching for her center.
I too use to make fun of my facial features. Being of mixed heritage it is difficult to see similarities with my parents. It troubled me amongst other things for many years. I use to remark on how large my eyes were, or my connecting eyebrows. But my biggest hiccup was my lips. When I sit without a smile I have a natural frown.
It took an artist friend of mine who took semi-professional of me to have me realize I am unique. My eyes, my nose my lips were fine for my face.
Now s/p surgery 03/04 I am still on a nj tube because I am unable to keep fluids down. I have already lost 27 lbs from 2/27 (preoperative diet).
However when I look in the mirror I too see the slimming face and smaller thighs. But apart of me misses those cheeks.
Truth is many like myself have hid behind our weight. Allowing us to be ignored in some fashion. We have adjusted into adulthood with the "ok" feeling that we would not be 1st desired in the room.
But we have done something about and we are trying to improve our lives.
I want to stress to you. Your inner peace will immediately reflect on your face. Come to admire your eyes, your mouth, your everything. Because in the end no matter how many friends, boyfriends, husbands are around shouting encouragment. We individually must believe in our selves.
Your beautiful Chica... and because of the vulnerability of your words - it shows your equally beautiful on the inside.
Just know your not alone in this battle
- Caridad
Caridad M.

March 4 th was my surgical date. Since 02/23 (preop diet) to today I've lost 30lbs Sent from my LG-H811 using the BariatricPal App

Ha! That's cute ???? - your welcomeAs I go thru my complications from my surgery. I just realized all those on this blog are dealing with something.
I know this surgery was not an easy decision for me and I have many feelings wrapped around it... as many of you
But at least as this blog space goes we need to continue to encourage... I know it's helping me thru this trying time for me.
-Caridad
Caridad M.

LauraEllen it is terrible you feel this way about yourself. We are all made different so we can contribute our individuality to the world.
When I look at your picture I do not see a ugly girl. I see a beautiful woman who for reasons only known to herself is still searching for her center.
I too use to make fun of my facial features. Being of mixed heritage it is difficult to see similarities with my parents. It troubled me amongst other things for many years. I use to remark on how large my eyes were, or my connecting eyebrows. But my biggest hiccup was my lips. When I sit without a smile I have a natural frown.
It took an artist friend of mine who took semi-professional of me to have me realize I am unique. My eyes, my nose my lips were fine for my face.
Now s/p surgery 03/04 I am still on a nj tube because I am unable to keep fluids down. I have already lost 27 lbs from 2/27 (preoperative diet).
However when I look in the mirror I too see the slimming face and smaller thighs. But apart of me misses those cheeks.
Truth is many like myself have hid behind our weight. Allowing us to be ignored in some fashion. We have adjusted into adulthood with the "ok" feeling that we would not be 1st desired in the room.
But we have done something about and we are trying to improve our lives.
I want to stress to you. Your inner peace will immediately reflect on your face. Come to admire your eyes, your mouth, your everything. Because in the end no matter how many friends, boyfriends, husbands are around shouting encouragment. We individually must believe in our selves.
Your beautiful Chica... and because of the vulnerability of your words - it shows your equally beautiful on the inside.
Just know your not alone in this battle
- Caridad
Caridad M.

Ha! That's cute ???? - your welcomeAs I go thru my complications from my surgery. I just realized all those on this blog are dealing with something.
I know this surgery was not an easy decision for me and I have many feelings wrapped around it... as many of you
But at least as this blog space goes we need to continue to encourage... I know it's helping me thru this trying time for me.
-Caridad
Caridad M.

Wow... you encouraged me too, and I don't I have a prob with my facial features... thx. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G530AZ using the BariatricPal App

LauraEllen it is terrible you feel this way about yourself. We are all made different so we can contribute our individuality to the world.
When I look at your picture I do not see a ugly girl. I see a beautiful woman who for reasons only known to herself is still searching for her center.
I too use to make fun of my facial features. Being of mixed heritage it is difficult to see similarities with my parents. It troubled me amongst other things for many years. I use to remark on how large my eyes were, or my connecting eyebrows. But my biggest hiccup was my lips. When I sit without a smile I have a natural frown.
It took an artist friend of mine who took semi-professional of me to have me realize I am unique. My eyes, my nose my lips were fine for my face.
Now s/p surgery 03/04 I am still on a nj tube because I am unable to keep fluids down. I have already lost 27 lbs from 2/27 (preoperative diet).
However when I look in the mirror I too see the slimming face and smaller thighs. But apart of me misses those cheeks.
Truth is many like myself have hid behind our weight. Allowing us to be ignored in some fashion. We have adjusted into adulthood with the "ok" feeling that we would not be 1st desired in the room.
But we have done something about and we are trying to improve our lives.
I want to stress to you. Your inner peace will immediately reflect on your face. Come to admire your eyes, your mouth, your everything. Because in the end no matter how many friends, boyfriends, husbands are around shouting encouragment. We individually must believe in our selves.
Your beautiful Chica... and because of the vulnerability of your words - it shows your equally beautiful on the inside.
Just know your not alone in this battle
- Caridad
Caridad M.

Yes, that's me. And my sweet old pup in the background. Glad to hear that I don't fit in with the typical attention-whores. I would like to think that I'm not looking for validation or compliments... rather, I guess I'm posting from a place of frustration that I'm still unhappy with how I look after all this and am wondering if others deal with the same thing.
One of the things that keep happening is that I'll take a picture or see a picture of myself now and initially think, "All right, I look pretty good!" But then I look at it again, more closely, and see all these flaws. I avoided pictures of myself entirely when I was at my heaviest, so it may also be that I got used to willfully ignoring how I looked and just assuming the answer was "gross." And now I'm paying a lot more attention to how I look and am now noticing all these little details that didn't seem to matter before. I'm also one of those annoying people who likes to copy-edit, so details that no one else notices and/or cares about are kinda my thing.

I am curious if anyone else has experienced what I am going thru now.
I had my Sleeve on 03/04/16 since than i have been unable to hold down any fluids. I was discharged Tuesday 03/08/16. Only to be readmitted for dehydration since I am throwing Everything up.
My readmission date was Friday 03/11/16 and i am still here.
While here i have had a egd with dilation with attempt to open up narrowing in stomach. However after this procedure still couldnt keep fluids down. Finally my surgical team state i need a NJ tube. This was placed this past friday. They also found a twist so they did another dilation.
So now i am here depressed and uncomfortable with a feeding tube.
Has anyone gone through this? I feel so alone
If so how long till the tube came out and you were able to eat & drink on own?
Any feedback would be valuable
Thanks
Caridad