DashRipr0ck

Thank you for this response! It was kind yet remained strong in reinforcing what is the correct thing I should do. What am I going to do? I am just going to be honest and tell the truth. I have withheld what is happening in my post op life because I do feel shame in not being the "good patient."
The simplest yet most effective thing is the truth. Why do we always seek to avoid that route?
He told me 80% of my stomach was removed. Having an un-textbook response and complications should not fill me with shame! I felt shame gaining the weight and maybe it has become my default setting in my mental process.
To answer other statements/questions re: therapist. Yes! I am in therapy with an empathetic yet intelligent therapist. She is kind in allowing me to talk about what I am subjectively experiencing yet is insistent in telling me when my thinking is, for a lack of a better term, faulty.
Before this becomes it's own medical problem, I plan to call my surgeon's office Monday morning and speak with the nurse who works with the surgeon.
Thank you everybody for your input. I will work through and try to overcome shame and just be honest.

I am talking about the stomach (organ) not the exterior (waistline).
To answer the other question re: 2 gallons of Water, yes I mix Chrystal Light in a half a gallon of Water and carry it with me and have 4 of them a day = 2 gallons. But I've always been this way, even before I went on methyprednisone for 3.5 years which caused the weight gain to begin with.
Please, I am just looking for input and not criticism. I suppose I feel I must hide this from my surgeon because I do not want to be a "bad patient." I do now see the flaws in my hiding this from my surgeon.
I am good at asking for help and honestly taking seriously advise especially when there is a general consensus answer.
Thank you for the nonjudgmental responses.

Thank you for this response! It was kind yet remained strong in reinforcing what is the correct thing I should do. What am I going to do? I am just going to be honest and tell the truth. I have withheld what is happening in my post op life because I do feel shame in not being the "good patient."
The simplest yet most effective thing is the truth. Why do we always seek to avoid that route?
He told me 80% of my stomach was removed. Having an un-textbook response and complications should not fill me with shame! I felt shame gaining the weight and maybe it has become my default setting in my mental process.
To answer other statements/questions re: therapist. Yes! I am in therapy with an empathetic yet intelligent therapist. She is kind in allowing me to talk about what I am subjectively experiencing yet is insistent in telling me when my thinking is, for a lack of a better term, faulty.
Before this becomes it's own medical problem, I plan to call my surgeon's office Monday morning and speak with the nurse who works with the surgeon.
Thank you everybody for your input. I will work through and try to overcome shame and just be honest.

Thank you for this response! It was kind yet remained strong in reinforcing what is the correct thing I should do. What am I going to do? I am just going to be honest and tell the truth. I have withheld what is happening in my post op life because I do feel shame in not being the "good patient."
The simplest yet most effective thing is the truth. Why do we always seek to avoid that route?
He told me 80% of my stomach was removed. Having an un-textbook response and complications should not fill me with shame! I felt shame gaining the weight and maybe it has become my default setting in my mental process.
To answer other statements/questions re: therapist. Yes! I am in therapy with an empathetic yet intelligent therapist. She is kind in allowing me to talk about what I am subjectively experiencing yet is insistent in telling me when my thinking is, for a lack of a better term, faulty.
Before this becomes it's own medical problem, I plan to call my surgeon's office Monday morning and speak with the nurse who works with the surgeon.
Thank you everybody for your input. I will work through and try to overcome shame and just be honest.