Shaydi.Laine

I'm really sorry to hear that you don't feel responsible for your own success. Yes the surgery is an important catalyst, but the surgery isn't choosing what you put in your mouth or when and how often you eat, it's not taking your Vitamins for you nor is it building muscle, burning fat, or raising your metabolism. I do suspect you aren't eating the same crap you used to eat, or you wouldn't be as successful as you've been in your weight loss. So recognize that you yourself are the success in this, don't give all the credit to the surgery. If you aren't exercising, that's your choice of course, and I'm sure many have been successful without exercise, although I personally am enjoying great rewards from my time at the gym and my much more active lifestyle. I maintain that the surgery is secondary to how we as thinking human beings choose to use it. Yes it is greatly helpful for getting us on track and helping us stay on track, but it's not HOW we are losing weight. We are all losing weight by eating less and making better choices. In the end this is all up to us. If the surgery was how I was losing weight, I would be eating gooey pizza, crust and all, right this very second. Maybe followed by some nice sugary ice cream. But since that would cause me to gain weight, despite the surgery, I will instead have some lovely piece of Protein and no dessert. And that's MY decision. Choosing not to tell someone about the surgery is *not* lying. Saying you didn't have surgery when you did, that would be lying. And if anyone asks me that question, I will likely lie because it's none of their business. Meanwhile anyone who feels comfortable telling everyone about their surgery should go for it. Anyone who feels uncomfortable sharing that info, should keep it to themselves. No one should have to feel bad whether they choose to tell or not tell.

I'm not telling the nosey women at work that already comment on everyone's lunch. And when they ask about my weight loss I'll say yes I am losing weight, but enough about my weight let's talk about yours.

A couple of colleagues knew I'd been off for an operation and wouldn't stop asking me what it was I'd had done. I've told them I've had the first stage of my sex change!!! None of the have asked another question since. They were just annoying me so I thought I'd send them down the wrong path for a laugh. I will tell them it was for GERD / hernia or something I guess, they know I've always been on some form of diet and I've lost heaps of weight before and regained it, this time, the weight loss will appear to them as no different, hopefully I'll just keep it off this time
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LOVE THIS!!!!!

I'm really sorry to hear that you don't feel responsible for your own success. Yes the surgery is an important catalyst, but the surgery isn't choosing what you put in your mouth or when and how often you eat, it's not taking your Vitamins for you nor is it building muscle, burning fat, or raising your metabolism. I do suspect you aren't eating the same crap you used to eat, or you wouldn't be as successful as you've been in your weight loss. So recognize that you yourself are the success in this, don't give all the credit to the surgery. If you aren't exercising, that's your choice of course, and I'm sure many have been successful without exercise, although I personally am enjoying great rewards from my time at the gym and my much more active lifestyle. I maintain that the surgery is secondary to how we as thinking human beings choose to use it. Yes it is greatly helpful for getting us on track and helping us stay on track, but it's not HOW we are losing weight. We are all losing weight by eating less and making better choices. In the end this is all up to us. If the surgery was how I was losing weight, I would be eating gooey pizza, crust and all, right this very second. Maybe followed by some nice sugary ice cream. But since that would cause me to gain weight, despite the surgery, I will instead have some lovely piece of Protein and no dessert. And that's MY decision. Choosing not to tell someone about the surgery is *not* lying. Saying you didn't have surgery when you did, that would be lying. And if anyone asks me that question, I will likely lie because it's none of their business. Meanwhile anyone who feels comfortable telling everyone about their surgery should go for it. Anyone who feels uncomfortable sharing that info, should keep it to themselves. No one should have to feel bad whether they choose to tell or not tell.

This thread has gotten silly. Way too much drama over nothing. Moving on...

This thread has gotten silly. Way too much drama over nothing. Moving on...

I'm really sorry to hear that you don't feel responsible for your own success. Yes the surgery is an important catalyst, but the surgery isn't choosing what you put in your mouth or when and how often you eat, it's not taking your Vitamins for you nor is it building muscle, burning fat, or raising your metabolism. I do suspect you aren't eating the same crap you used to eat, or you wouldn't be as successful as you've been in your weight loss. So recognize that you yourself are the success in this, don't give all the credit to the surgery. If you aren't exercising, that's your choice of course, and I'm sure many have been successful without exercise, although I personally am enjoying great rewards from my time at the gym and my much more active lifestyle. I maintain that the surgery is secondary to how we as thinking human beings choose to use it. Yes it is greatly helpful for getting us on track and helping us stay on track, but it's not HOW we are losing weight. We are all losing weight by eating less and making better choices. In the end this is all up to us. If the surgery was how I was losing weight, I would be eating gooey pizza, crust and all, right this very second. Maybe followed by some nice sugary ice cream. But since that would cause me to gain weight, despite the surgery, I will instead have some lovely piece of Protein and no dessert. And that's MY decision. Choosing not to tell someone about the surgery is *not* lying. Saying you didn't have surgery when you did, that would be lying. And if anyone asks me that question, I will likely lie because it's none of their business. Meanwhile anyone who feels comfortable telling everyone about their surgery should go for it. Anyone who feels uncomfortable sharing that info, should keep it to themselves. No one should have to feel bad whether they choose to tell or not tell.

This thread has gotten silly. Way too much drama over nothing. Moving on...

This thread has gotten silly. Way too much drama over nothing. Moving on...

This thread has gotten silly. Way too much drama over nothing. Moving on...

It is really simple as the following;
You tell, great!
You don't tell, great!
All the other bickering is just hot air.

I'm really sorry to hear that you don't feel responsible for your own success. Yes the surgery is an important catalyst, but the surgery isn't choosing what you put in your mouth or when and how often you eat, it's not taking your Vitamins for you nor is it building muscle, burning fat, or raising your metabolism. I do suspect you aren't eating the same crap you used to eat, or you wouldn't be as successful as you've been in your weight loss. So recognize that you yourself are the success in this, don't give all the credit to the surgery. If you aren't exercising, that's your choice of course, and I'm sure many have been successful without exercise, although I personally am enjoying great rewards from my time at the gym and my much more active lifestyle. I maintain that the surgery is secondary to how we as thinking human beings choose to use it. Yes it is greatly helpful for getting us on track and helping us stay on track, but it's not HOW we are losing weight. We are all losing weight by eating less and making better choices. In the end this is all up to us. If the surgery was how I was losing weight, I would be eating gooey pizza, crust and all, right this very second. Maybe followed by some nice sugary ice cream. But since that would cause me to gain weight, despite the surgery, I will instead have some lovely piece of Protein and no dessert. And that's MY decision. Choosing not to tell someone about the surgery is *not* lying. Saying you didn't have surgery when you did, that would be lying. And if anyone asks me that question, I will likely lie because it's none of their business. Meanwhile anyone who feels comfortable telling everyone about their surgery should go for it. Anyone who feels uncomfortable sharing that info, should keep it to themselves. No one should have to feel bad whether they choose to tell or not tell.

I was worried about this also, but so far it's been easy, I was even able to keep it from a best friend of 23+ years. (Just to see if could get away with it. He was the one person I finally told.)
Luckily the weight loss bit is one thing you wont be able to keep to yourself. That's going to be blatantly visible. (yay!) So the fact that you are on a "diet" is sort of a "duh" answer. It's also enough of an explanation for how you are eating, not drinking booze, and no one notices that I don't touch my Water at the dinner table. The "diet" I am on, as I would tell anyone, is low carb, really small portions, and no alcohol. (That last bit is gonna change, but will remain minimal. Alcohol has always stalled my diet efforts.) You can also say you are eating 6 small meals a day instead of 3 large ones and it's working. Take those leftovers with you. You will want them later
Surgery or no surgery, weight loss results are achieved through our own efforts and actions. The fact is that anyone can eat around their surgery and completely blow it, not to mention the effects of the surgery will wear thin eventually. The bulk of this is on us. We're just learning all the right moves for getting it off and more importantly, keeping it off.

You don't have to lie about it. The surgery is not HOW you are losing weight. You are losing through diet and exercise. You are eating smaller portions, making healthy choices, and moving more. That is HOW you are losing weight. And that is an absolutely true, acceptable, and appropriate answer. The surgery is just a tool to help you do that, and it's nobody's business. Honestly I'm doing a lot more of the work than the surgery is. I could totally screw this up all on my own and the surgery couldn't stop me.
I told no one except for my mother who had the lap band, my sister who is a nutritionist and tried to talk me out of it (biatch), and eventually my aunt and only because I needed her to pick me up from the hospital and spend a couple days with me. Even the friend who dropped me off at the hospital at 6am thought she was taking me for an upper GI series Then at 5 weeks in, I told one old friend who came to visit for a weekend. I thought he would call me crazy but to my shock he said he was very proud of me. And that's it. Outside of that tiny handful of people, I'm staying in the closet about this and am totally cool with that. I don't feel the need to share this bit of my life with all my friends and acquaintances, and I certainly wouldn't feel bad about not telling coworkers or strangers.
Not comfortable talking about your private medical situations with the world? Then don't. It's not their business.

It's not "like that" for most people. I have felt great ever since my surgery. Maybe you are actually sick? Cold? Flu? Something temporary? Take it easy.

I simply tell people I eat less (truth), move more (truth) and follow a low carb diet (truth). No "stories" to remember, simple and to the point, and 100% factual.

No shame in my game. (That's usually the next thing "tellers" start throwing out there.)

(Oh. And no, it's not my duty to educate other fatties on the joys of WLS. That will be after the shame part.)

Yes, my husband and parents are the only ones that know. I feel like others will only judge me because I'm not loosing it on my own. A lot of people have said this was the easy way out.
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I think pre op/ post op there's a lot going in the mind... I can relate to be guarded with whom you share it... It's normal to have a wide variety of feelings and even second guessing, we don't need outside influences adding fuel to that fire... I feel you can say your having surgery for female issues, very few want to discuss that any further lol... Later down the road when your success starts to show you can give more info... For me, my logical mind knows this is going to result in weight loss as it has for everyone else but having been obese for so long and tried so many think I have a slight hint of self doubt... I would not want to put it on blast until I see it working... I just think people's mouth can be the worst weapon and often times better not to hear them...
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"
Einstein

You don't have to lie about it. The surgery is not HOW you are losing weight. You are losing through diet and exercise. You are eating smaller portions, making healthy choices, and moving more. That is HOW you are losing weight. And that is an absolutely true, acceptable, and appropriate answer. The surgery is just a tool to help you do that, and it's nobody's business. Honestly I'm doing a lot more of the work than the surgery is. I could totally screw this up all on my own and the surgery couldn't stop me.
I told no one except for my mother who had the lap band, my sister who is a nutritionist and tried to talk me out of it (biatch), and eventually my aunt and only because I needed her to pick me up from the hospital and spend a couple days with me. Even the friend who dropped me off at the hospital at 6am thought she was taking me for an upper GI series Then at 5 weeks in, I told one old friend who came to visit for a weekend. I thought he would call me crazy but to my shock he said he was very proud of me. And that's it. Outside of that tiny handful of people, I'm staying in the closet about this and am totally cool with that. I don't feel the need to share this bit of my life with all my friends and acquaintances, and I certainly wouldn't feel bad about not telling coworkers or strangers.
Not comfortable talking about your private medical situations with the world? Then don't. It's not their business.

That graphic should be a permanent side banner on this forum.

The BMI chart is bunk. High muscle mass throws that whole thing out the window. In fact my surgeon agreed and waved it away when I mentioned how absurd it was. Many body builders will in fact come in as obese on the BMI chart even with barely a stitch of fat on them. Use it as a guide if you like, but take it with a grain of salt. Especially if you lift weights *flex*

This topic came up in my support group and just about everyone in the room agreed the world feels much cooler than before surgery. The cause, I dunno, but I think it's a probably a result of the surgery directly and not about fat loss, because i started feeling cold right away, as do many others.
Personally I'm mostly happy about this as I used to feel too hot all the time and be sweating when no one else was. I also sleep much better and never wake up sweating. I may feel a lot different about this come winter, but for now, I'll take it.

Seriously? That's an average of over 14 pounds a month and you are crying for help? I'm almost at the end of my third month and I've lost 6 pounds this month, 35 total since surgery and I'm thrilled. I don't understand why people think the weight loss is going to be like some constant wildfire, IT'S NOT. You are doing fantastic. Chill out This stuff takes time.

That graphic should be a permanent side banner on this forum.