Shaydi.Laine

What a way to prove you are an immature, spoiled brat!
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My goodness, you are a little meanie aren't you! *meow*hiss*scratch* My response wasn't intended to be rude. However, since you've seen fit to respond in such a nasty juvenile way (what a surprise, not), well dear, I guess I'll pull out the stops. But first I am a little confused honey dear sweetie, if you have this great insurance, what's the $8500 for? At 22 years old you are still just a baby with a lot to learn. You can go ahead and argue that you're all grown up, as teenagers do, but take it from someone who was also 22 once. You are not. If you don't have money saved, then no, you don't have money. If 1000 dollars is a DEVASTATING amount, then you do not have money. If you don't have your own income then no you don't have money. And if you don't have money then you are not ready for this surgery. To support the surgery, after the surgery, you need money. Saved money. In the bank. And a lot more than 1000 lousy dollars. My copays for visits and tests alone added up to more than that. Who is going to pay in the event of a complication? Who is going to pay for all your expensive supplements? If you can't afford them will you just not take them? What about unexpected emergencies? What about all the new clothes you will surely want? Will you be posting here that you are devastated that mommy won't buy you clothes unless you get a job but that you can't get a job because your pants are falling off your ass? LMAO While it is lovely and all that you care for others, this has nothing to do with them. This is about taking responsibility for yourself and your own needs. Many people don't have mommy and daddy to help them at all. They work, they save the money, and they pay for it 100% themselves. And I'll bet you dollars to low carb donuts that those people, who want it bad enough to do whatever it takes, are going to excel at their weight loss. Do you want it bad enough to do whatever it takes? If so, get a damn job. If not, forget the surgery. You are very young. You have plenty of time to get a job, save some cash, and grow up. And you really DO need to do all three of those things. Listen sweetie, I don't know you from Eve, so my comments can only be based on the information you've given, but I'm sure your parents who have so kindly offered to give you $7500 provided that you get a job and come up with just one grand on your own, know you a lot better than I do and have a very good reason for withholding their offer in this DEVASTATING punishment. Having to get a job is not DEVASTATING. DEVASTATING is getting a call at 4am to learn that your father's heart has stopped. DEVASTATING is having to hop a plane and fly 2300 miles to go see him on life support. DEVASTATING is finding yourself shoveling dirt into his grave soon after. That was my life just a few months ago. THAT was DEVASTATING. Having to work is just daily life. Whining that you have to get a job and save some money? Well boohoo. Welcome to adulthood. And while we're at it.. do not "honey" me, sweetie. And save your pity game for some other sucker. I've been through much worse than you which I won't mention here. For the record tho, my dad left when I was 8 and since my mother eventually had to go back to work, I was put in charge of taking care of the house, my younger sister, and making sure that dinner was on the table when my mother got home from working over an hour away. I did all that and still managed to excel in school all along. At age 22 I graduated college with honors and promptly got a temp job, immediately after which, I landed a full time job. I never looked to my parents for money. Today I work my ass off, often 7 days a week. I built my own business and am 100% self-supporting and independent with a beautiful home and excellent credit. When the same is true for you, THEN you can call me honey. Ok I'm done

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Thanks... I just have been watching the dialogue on this one escalate, felt i needed to say just let It go...
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@@gina171 You are awesome. Will you be my second mom?

She will just learn the hard way. I gots no more energy left for that one. I burned it all at the gym =)

@shaydi laine trying to explain the real world to a person with such a strong sense of entitlement isn't worth it.... You have tried.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

allyrenee....take a deep breath. You might not like all of what I am saying, but I hope you will let yourself hear it, even a little bit.
There's probably some truth in what shaydi.lane said ... AND some truth in what you replied. Neither one of you are completely wrong, and that probably stings.
You're a little younger than my son, so I am going to say to you what I tell him: no matter what you have to do to get it, you need a cushion of what I call "God-Forbid-Money" .... an amount of money that YOU DO NOT TOUCH unless the situation warrants you gasping and muttering "God forbid..." (life and death, fire, safety, illness...). Money for a plane or train or bus ticket in case someone you love 1000 miles away dies (or is suddenly dying and you want to say goodbye before they pass), money in case the person who pays the rent suddenly can't bc of illness, money to cover the co-pay if you suddenly needed to pay for a medicine your life depended upon, money to pay for that same medicine for an infirm loved one, money to fix the furnace if it dies in the middle of a snowstorm, money if you break down driving in the middle of the night driving through a different state and you need a tow and a repair and a motel. Money for the things you don't plan on....like the situation you find yourself in, where someone on whom you were counting can't come through for you. You have to be able to come through for yourself. If you can't, you live in chains.
When you need to build up the funds for that "God-Forbid-Money", NO WORK IS BENEATH YOU IN THE SHORT TERM (babysit, cut lawns, go on care.com and sign up to run errands for people, drive for uber, clean houses, get a PT job anywhere, take care of kids after school for people who work, make telemarketing calls at night, clean office buildings at night, sign up at a temp agency...). Do anything short of selling your body or your integrity. Because the peace of mind that comes from having God-Forbid-Money is huge. If you have it, no one holds you (or your health) hostage.
For you, it might be $1000 in the bank or tucked under your mattress. Whatever you think your number is, increase it by another 50%. Because emergencies are always more expensive than you expect.
This is a big moment for you. You get to decide who you want to be, and how you want to be. You probably have more power to chart your own course than you realize. Dig deep. Show the world who you are.
Plus....you might want to start a little separate fund for supplements, Vitamins, and -- hooray -- the new clothes you will legitimately need on your way down the scale. Even if you shop at Goodwill, you're looking at $50 a month I bet, bc you will also need new underwear, bras, etc.
You're a young adult, too young to already feel burdened by bad credit and relying on other people this much. You deserve something different, and only you can make it happen. Get out of this mess, honorably. Straighten things out, fix the credit, save more money, get your surgery when you can on your own terms without relying on just an extra $1000 from your parents, channel your determination and anger positively. Let your real self out. Not a sassy, defensive version of yourself....let your REAL SELF out.
It takes a lot of work. It is scary to realize that once you are 22 years old, it really is all in your hands, it's all your responsibility now. But the beauty is, once you do this you will not only be charting your own course, you will have the ability to help those who truly have no options through no fault of their own. And help those who helped you on your way up.
You are too valuable to let $1000 hold your life in the balance. You are bigger than that.
So, LIVE bigger than that. And get yourself some God-Forbid-Money over the next few months.

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

They were prepared to release me after 1 night, but my blood count was strangely low so they kept me a second night. Fortunately it was a rather pleasant stay thanks to the great staff at the Portsmouth Regional Resort and Spa (or hospital, call it what you wish). All was normal by the next day, so I drank the required Protein shake with no problem and off I went.

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

Hmm let's see...

You're 22 years old with no money, no job, no insurance, bad credit, and your parents have decided not to help you because you won't get a job?

I hate to be a party pooper but just based on that little bit alone, I would have to side with them. I'm just guessing here, but it sounds to me like your folks might like to see you take some responsibility and perhaps grow up a little. And those are two things that I would highly recommend doing before having a surgery that will depend on you being accountable, responsible, and in charge. For the rest of your life.

Devastated isn't what you should be feeling, motivated is. If your parents wont help you unless you get a job, then get a job. That will solve your problem a lot faster than whining about it. Good luck!

#toughlove

A bit of sabotage going on with your folks?
Do talk to them. Maybe they are afraid and figure if they hold off money you won't do it. Or some kinda game. WHY won't they loan you the money? You will also need money for your special foods and such.
But, if they won't budge, my best ideas are these:
*If you have a clear title on a car, you can get an awful high interest signature loan of about $300-600 dollars.
*You can pawn stuff. Usually you get it for 3 months, then you have to pay the interest and can keep the item (re-newing the loan every 30-90 days with interest payments.
*Got anything you can sell? "Anything" adds up quick. (Re-sale toys on Craigslist or at a resale shop, Retro Stuff, books to Halfprice books, Jewelry on Craigslist, Furniture). Of course, met people in public to sell stuff. When I have to sell stuff, I make it slightly cheaper than others to get it gone quicker.
*Craigslist for temp bartending jobs, catering jobs, babysitting jobs. Call catering companies to work a few weekends. *Temporary agencies (often more trouble than they are worth....)
*Get a job (Denny's) and don't tell em about surgery and then quit with only a few days notice..
*Can your boyfriend do lawn work or something else on nights/weekends for the cash.
All those above I have done for quick cash.
Good Luck

You can "guarantee" NO SUCH THING.
==and to give the example that "surgeons in Mexico" do more surgeries than those here at home--the USA therefore are more experienced is not only ridiculous but an extremely dangerously misleading statement.
"Assembly line surgery" (not my statement, but that of the Bariatric Surgeons of The United States), does not make surgery better. It just makes it fast. Is "fast" really what one wants when one is out cold and having someone in a rush cutting into their guts?
Home here in the USA, we have Bariatric Centers of Excellence with many surgeons with more than 20, 30 years of board certified successful bariatric surgeries.
I truly believe that the above statement of "Henry's" is totally misleading, nonfactual and extremely dangerous.
Please, also consider ---what if one has complications having surgery in Mexico??? Where do you go? Who do you see? The Mexican government historically has NOT "gotten involved" with medical malpractice situations. Ever try suing a doctor in Mexico?? Good luck with that.
Read some of the horror stories. One case where a man had bariatric surgery in Mexico, had complications. What was done for him? He was driven to the US border and left in a motel! --or the woman who paid for bariatric surgery in Mexico, just to find out years later that the Mexican surgeon cut into her, but never did her sleeve. Ask her how her suit is going against that Mexican surgeon. The stories go on and on.
I know there are many folks who went to Mexico and had a successful surgery. I'm just not sure whether it's worth rolling the dice. I would hope that one has enough love for one's self to wait until the money is saved to have the surgery here, at home, in the USA, where if there are complications the chance of a successful recourse is attainable.
just think about it. Do your research. EVERYTHIING you can find to read. Only then can you make an informed decision.
On this day, this is my own personal opinion.
God be with us.

The episodes that kill me are on the ride home from the hospital, fresh out of surgery and the person driving goes through a drive thru.

On 600lb life, Zasalynn's husband didn't want her to lose weight. He sat in front of her eating all her favs, refusing to get her anything healthy and taunting the heck out of her all the time. He never gave a damn about her beyond his fetish.
He can eat whatever he wants when he isn't around her, it wouldn't kill him to show her a little respect when she was fresh out of surgery. People do the same thing when people have heart surgery or other diet changing surgery. My friends dad had surgery and we all ate different around him to support him, and make it easier for him to transition after his not WLS, surgery.
It is called respect and compassion. It isn't hard. He is being an asshole.