SassyScienceNerd

Going to the support groups isn't to land a date. It's to get out and be social. Dating is not the only way to be social. Go make friends. Go get comfortable in public outings. Have fun. The goal isn't to meet someone to date, but it might happen anyway. When you're comfortable and happy with your social life it's a lot easier to attract someone who sees light coming out of you. Right now you are projecting this image (at least on this thread) as a sad, shut-in loner who hopes that internet magic will bring you a love life. Go love life instead, and the rest will either come or it won't, but at least you'll be out enjoying the world.

On 5/17/2017 at 11:33 AM, bellabloom said:

Kinda sucks how the OPs post got hijacked.

No, I'm totally digging the discussion. Carry on.

On 5/16/2017 at 3:25 PM, elliekay said:

I don't understand the mentality that you have to be completely open about your surgery on the first couple dates/early in a relationship lol...

i don't know what the nightlife scene is like by you and what's accessible but i live inside chicago city limits so generally i like going to cheap shows on dates--there's always cheap improv shows or local bands for $5-$10.

Thank you! I never said it was a secret I was carrying to the grave, just that I'm not giving that info out on the first few dates. Once we are in a legit relationship, then I will be honest about my "diet."

God I miss Chicago. I grew up there, now I live at the beach, which is its own heaven on earth, but in a different way. Definitely no $5-10 improv shows (or at least- no good ones.) We do get great live music out here though. I do frequent those!

My surgery, my business who I tell upon meeting or not. These are first-second-third dates here, he's not proposing. I will reveal personal information about my health when I am good and ready. YMMV, but that's how I am doing this. I don't tell them my salary or my mommy issues on the first date either. There's honesty and there's oversharing too soon.

I'm not asking anyone to cater to my restrictions, either. I simply want to have suggestions on hand for other things to do besides going out to eat so I can steer the interactions that way.

Love live music. I have done a lot of concert dates, those are probably my favorites. I'm also adding paddleboarding to the list.

OMI- I like that you make them choose the dates. After about the first or second, I expect them to do that otherwise I dump them too.

I went on a date recently with someone and he decided on a whim that he wanted to take me out for sushi. I tried to suggest something else, but he was hungry. I ordered a few pieces of sashimi and ate the fish without the rice and told him I'm low-carbing it. But I spent so much time chewing it into a paste that I hardly talked, and since I only ate 3 pieces, he noticed and asked me what was up. I just told him I wasn't hungry to begin with, and it seemed fine from there. But I don't want to keep having these awkward interactions.

I don't tell people about surgery. If I get into a more serious relationship, I'll reveal it, but I am still uncomfortable with people knowing yet.

So give me some fun date ideas that don't involve going out to eat! I have had a blast mini-golfing on a date, and going to the batting cages. But I'm here to gather ideas so I can have good suggestions on hand the next time someone suggests we go out to dinner. Give me your favorites.

I totally relate to the issue of having someone love me for what's inside... I'm not to my goal weight yet, but the last ~50 lbs dropping off has increased the attention I get from men. I just keep telling myself that if he's only into me for looks, his inner a**hole will reveal itself eventually. I'm being careful not to jump into anything too fast. I need to give them time for their crazy to come out.

I'm just saying, I have my neck back. I didn't know how much I messed having it. Haha

26 minutes ago, OutsideMatchInside said:

You look really small at 208 and 5'4!!!!! Congrats! What size dress are you in?

Like I said- it's a good angle. Lol. The dress is a 14. I was in a 20 a little over a month ago, so this progress makes me happy!!

No, one is a selfie and one was taken by someone else so my arm was down. Tattoo is still right where it started.

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!

(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

I made my first mini-goal of 208, but I don't know when it happened, because I went from 210 to 207 in the span of a day. I'm super excited to get one out of the way!! Didn't even take a month.

Next mini-goal is 175, which is the lowest I'd be in over 5 years, and really, the lowest I remember being since I've had kids. I don't expect this one to come as quickly or easily as the first goal.

6 minutes ago, Chaelove0810 said:

ummm actually some days i dont really eat ill snack i just now started back up with my Protein Shakes some days i eat more than others some days i dont eat at all

There's your problem. You have no idea how much your intake actually is. Start tracking it. You might be surprised at how much your snacking adds up. Or you may find that you're not eating enough. You can't figure this out until you become serious about tracking everything for a while.

Yes. When I was on Clear Liquids, I couldn't stay awake for anything. Once I slept through the night for 15 hours straight.

Y'all, I got sleeved 4/19 and I'm down 12 lbs so far from surgery day! I'm still pretty sore, but I have been back to work for 2 days. I'm on purees finally, so I can finally eat and feel full for a few hours. Best decision of my life.

I only eat when I feel hunger pangs. Other than that I just try to drink since I have a hard time getting my fluidss in for the day. I've been measuring 3 fl.oz. (by volume) at a time, maybe I just need to do less for awhile and see how that goes.
I like the burp tip, thanks!

I'm on liquids, so I've been having very thin Soups the last 2 days. Both yesterday and today I ate slowly, without distraction, but twice now I've gotten so full that I'm uncomfortable. I didn't feel it until... well, until I felt it. How do you know when you're full and not to have another bite? With hunger essentially gone, I don't have a gauge for satiety like I used to. I'm a little lost.

26 minutes ago, sc101071 said:

My doctor said it would be a waste. He said just to hold a pillow to you when getting up. That worked for me. Pain wasn't there that long.

I disagree. I had a pillow and it was only helpful when sitting. I couldn't walk until the nurse wrapped gauze around my belly, and that slipped off easily. I wish I had brought a binder. It would have been a huge help. I'm 6 days post-op, it would still be great to have one. Where can I get one now???

If you like sweet drinks, vodka and SF Red Bull is pretty good.

I fail to be amazed at the variety of pre-op diets anymore, as docs do all kinds of things for all kinds of stated and unstated reasons. Likely, ketosis was far from his intention, as it is hardly a major success factor in WLS, as much as one may read about it in internet forums. For us, ketosis (or at least the objectionable symptoms) was merely an accidental thing that happened because the diet was overly low in carbohydrates for a while, but that didn't make any difference to the weight loss performance of the program. But that does sound a bit scant in Protein for something leading up to (any) surgery.

Thank god. I'm having one now. My doc's preop diet was complete bullshit, (fruit smoothies only, no protein... for ketosis. Yeah.) so I don't feel particularly faithful to his ways of thinking. I'd rather follow another doctor's diet.

Was anyone allowed premade Protein Shakes in week 1? Or was it strictly Clear Liquids for 1-2 weeks?

I'm getting hunger pangs that subside for a bit after having broth, so I know it's hunger and not acid. But the cramps are back after less than 30 minutes. Hoping a little Protein will keep them at bay longer.

Fabulous!!! What a difference, you look so energetic now!

No judgment here. I'm 5'4" and 230 now (hw 248) 3 days post-op in MX. I'm not very high on the charts but watching my mother get a wheelchair at 47 years old due to the same edema in her legs as I am developing was a wake up call for me to do the surgery. At lower weights the edema is not a major issue. After the lbs start packing on, it makes it so much more difficult to move and lose the weight. We all have our reasons and they are all just as valid. Don't ever excuse yourself for taking a step in a healthy direction.

It's an excellent choice for the soft food stage.

I'm 3 days out and I can't fathom going to work on Monday like I'd hoped. Luckily I can take off some extra time and work from home for a bit as well.