deeplue

Kinda freaked out by the thought that I will be sleeved and home from the hospital by this time next week. There is a lot to do at work before I can finish on Wednesday night. Then I will be in and out of surgery less than 24 hours after I finish at work. In some ways, I feel really ready for this next step. In other ways, I am completely terrified. Trying to stay in the moment and trust that this is the right thing to do.

I am so excited! I just tried on an old dress for Easter. It hasn't fit for about five years but it fits now! No elastic and no stretchy fabric. Before starting this WLS journey, I was most comfortable in women's size 32. My Easter dress is size 26 - and it FITS! My WLS is scheduled for May 12 and I am already down about 40 pounds in 2 months.

There is probably a thread about this somewhere, but my search function isn't working right. Has anyone struggled with IBS pre-op and then have it resolved as a result of WLS? I have a particularly nasty case of IBS that seems to be brought on by particular foods as well as hormones and emotions. My nutritionist thought that dietary changes through the WLS process would resolve IBS, like how WLS can help resolve diabetes. Is this even a possibility? Have you had this experience?

@@shellyd88 - this is something I am anxious about and already resentful in anticipation. There is part of me that wants to believe that I am a person of worth, no matter my size. Of course, how can I expect others to treat me with dignity when I don't treat myself with dignity? This is especially a concern with my parents. I am still 10 weeks pre-op and I have only lost 25 pounds. They are already saying how proud of me they are. Why can't they be proud of me for other, more acceptable things other than the fact that my pants fit better?

The last few days have been challenging. I got a date for surgery - May 12 - so that is a good thing. My surgeon provided positive feedback about my progress - so that is a good thing. Like a person truly struggling hardcore, I ended up overeating and gorging on stuff that is not on my nutrition plan - so that is a bad thing. It feels like WLS is taking over my life. My partner feels very distant right now and not incredibly supportive. I have a pre-op class at the end of April for patients and caregivers and she doesn't think she can come. I know she is super busy at work but I feel a lack of support from her. I'm trying to remember two things: one, I am still reeling from yesterday's binge and not functioning at full emotional or physical speed. Two, WLS is a new area of my life and while I am doing a lot of work in this area, my partner is doing the best she can. Unfortunately, remembering those things does not do much to alleviate my need for support right now.

Fully realizing that this breaks the commitment to anonymity, but if you have used the tools of Overeaters Anonymous in conjunction with WLS, please send me a message or reply to this thread. I tried OA a while ago but it never really connected for me. I am beginning to wonder, though, if now might be a better time.

@@bigguy928 - I haven't had WLS yet. Not until May at the earliest. I'm the same way as you with my parents and my sister, especially because I was so nervous about their reaction. I decided to tell them early in the process because shame about my weight hasn't gotten me very fair. They have been surprisingly supportive. I have not told any of my partner's family. I know I will have to tell my mother-in-law eventually but that will require more trips to the therapist! Fortunately I have a good therapist now. I still don't like talking about food, weight, and body issues so much or so frequently, but I'm getting used to it.

@@BananaB - thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so eloquently and honestly. Many of them seem familiar, even though I am still three months pre WLS and not six months post.

@@bigguy928 - I'm sorry to hear that your pcp has said such damaging things. I remember when a therapist told me how she doesn't know how fat people lived in New York City, just as I was about to start school there. Needless to say, she is now my former therapist. I have a good pcp and therapist now and they are both very supportive of my decision to have WLS.

Honestly, I never really thought about the excess skin. Now that I have spent time - lying awake at night - worrying about the excess skin, I feel some anxiety rising. My goal is to lose 180-200 pounds, which will leave me with a lot of extra skin. Yikes! I'm pretty sure that plastic surgery is not financially an option but I'm trying to tell myself that extra skin is better than extra weight.

In my initial conversation with the surgeon, he said 180 should be my goal, down from 358. I guess I was hoping for something lower, like 150, but losing half my body weight doesn't seem too bad. I don't remember being 180 pounds - it's been close to 20 years. Maybe I will be able to shop at a 'normal' clothing store in a few years!

I'm still four months pre WLS but I'm down about 20 pounds. Not only did my partner say she noticed a weight loss but a pair of jeans that used to cut off my circulation has a little room in the waist. Also, I realized that I could actually be weighed on a regular doctor's office scale. At the upper end, of course, but every NSV helps. Sleep study was last night, endoscopy is on Monday, second appointment with nutritionist is on Thursday . . . Things are moving along.

@@gowalking - thank you for sharing those pictures. I'm trying to trust in the process as well as take the necessary steps to start on the journey. The surgeon said my goal weight should be 180 - half of my starting weight. I would love to get to 150 or 160, but anything less than where I started will be great. 180 is still overweight but it is so much better than where I am now.

@@gowalking - living as a "slender" person feels really far away. I've never been anything remotely close to slender - even as a kid. Thank you for the encouragement, though. Life in Edison gets hard sometimes but I trust that there is light at the end of this tunnel.

@@KindaFamiliar - Thank you for the feedback. I'm still very new to this site so I am still trying to figure out the different approaches people take. I appreciate your perspective and the offer for support. I just might take you up on that!

@@nhawke - I know the feeling. I really feel the temptation for food funerals but I am still quite far from surgery time. (Not having WLS until May.) For me right now, the temptation for food funerals is just a clever cover for falling into bad, emotional eating habits.

Thank you for sharing your story. It gives me hope that there might just be success down the road for me. I am months (years?) away from a stall much less a goal. I'm still three months or so pre-op so my current struggle involves losing those first 50 pounds. I'm 19 pounds down with 31 to go. I posted about this struggle on another thread in here and one of the people responded with an article about how WLS is not a magic fix for everything. I didn't feel particularly supported, to be honest. But reading your post gave me some hope - just what I needed to fight the desire to overeat at lunch. Thank you.

Fully knowing that the surgery is not a magic fix, I am looking forward to feeling like my body and mind are working together instead of at cross-purposes. It might be nice to have a holistic approach instead of the "white-knuckle approach."

I had a very similar reaction to the need to lose 50 pounds in three months before I could qualify for the surgery: if I could lose 50 pounds that quickly, I wouldn't need surgery! The surgeon assured me that I would have more support than when I had tried to lose weight in the past and he was right. I have lost close to 15 pounds in 15 days, somewhat through pure determination and somewhat through the help of a nutritionist. The remaining 35 pounds loom large but I am trying to keep things in perspective that I still have about 2 1/2 months in which to do lose that.

I'm still very new to this and still about 4 months away from surgery, but I am truly anxious about compliments that will hopefully be forthcoming. Foolishly, I thought / think that I had made myself invisible by reaching a high weight of 358. Of course I wasn't invisible; I was probably the most obvious person in the room. I have lost 13 of the 50 pounds required before surgery, and already a few people have commented. Perhaps my least favorite is when someone close to me (read mother or father) says, "My amazing disappearing daughter - I'm so proud of you." Why can't I hear that s/he is proud because of my job? Or my degrees? Or my healthy relationship? And this is just the tip of the compliment iceberg! I haven't told anyone at my job about either the weight loss effort or the possibility of upcoming surgery, but I have a rather "public" job, albeit in a small community. People are bound to notice if this weight loss stuff actually works.

I totally understand about wanting to binge! Late afternoons and weekends are pretty much prime overeating times for me, although the temptation is present all the time. dinner tonight was pre-portioned but I didn't stop when I was full. Now my belly hurts and I am trying not to beat myself up for ignoring my body's messages. Even though everything was healthy, I still ate too much. Overeating is going to be a really hard process to break - or at least change.

I work in Edison and my surgery will (hopefully) happen at JFK in Edison.

In some ways I feel that things are moving seriously quickly, but I'm trying to look at it that things are falling into place. I met with a nutritionist last week and she gave me a pretty loose diet to follow: lots of Protein, not as many carbs, etc. I've lost about 15 pounds in two weeks but I've been hungry the whole time. Very frustrating! Are you having any luck with a supervised diet?

Hi. Thanks for your post. I just joined the site a few hours ago and saw your message. I also live in NJ and am still four months pre-surgery. Have you had your surgery yet? -- Kristen