ThinWithin

ME TOO!! I think that is partially to blame for my weight gain. People who exercised or took the time to care for themselves were selfish and vain and i totaly took that and ran with it. I do for others and didnt take time for myself. It is still a struggle to not feel selfish for the time it takes for me to exercise In fact I haven't gone all week because I dont want to take away from 'family' time. Thanks for the reminder!

that doesnt sound like a reward that sounds like torture! lol

the 50lb rewards are my big splurge $ wise rewards. I will also give myself rewards every 10lbs but not something as pricey as the massage. My ideas are: manicures pedicures a book i've been eyeing cd's I am also ordering a magazine that I enjoy reading and every month when it comes I will remember why I ordered it...to get healthier so it will help to keep me focused. It might sound dorky and petty but every little thing helps me and keeps it new and fresh. :0)

Today is it people! After today it will be OUR month! The month our new adventure begins and our new lives start. I am so totally excited about having a group of people to share this with. I go on the 7th for my dr appt to discuss pre-op diet and all the day of surgery stuff. Getting there slowly but surely. Good Luck to the first bunnies to be banded!!

We have a newly born weekly tradition in our family. Every friday we have a movie night, a movie and a snack shared happily between us all. We decided to follow the alphabet recently so we have had snacks and movies starting with each letter. First we had Arthur and the Incredibles w/angel food cake and last week we had Bolt and brownies. Here is where things start to go awry. I managed quite well with the angel food cake and I got cocky. I love brownies....adore them and their chocolate gooey goodness, I had one on friday and then I had chaos and calamity this weekend so I had no more. Today I've been eyeballing the pan, bite here, pinch there sliding slowly back into the old habits I had worked so hard to replace. I have put them away and am blogging about it instead of eating them. Actually now that I am aware of what was doing it's not that difficult to CHOOSE to not eat them. I am finding that the mindless snacking is hard to combat because it's not something that I THINK about. I know that sounds like a DUH! statement but it really is an epiphany for me. I read that people are satisfied with less of whatever their beloved foods are (even a bite or two) and I cannot wait to get to that point. I dont want to rush thorugh this process, I want to savor each step so that I can fully appreciate the change as it comes and embrace where I've come from when all is said and done. I guess defeat wouldnt be correct then...hmmm.....awareness thy name is brownie? doesn't have quite the same ring to it now does it?

We have a newly born weekly tradition in our family. Every friday we have a movie night, a movie and a snack shared happily between us all. We decided to follow the alphabet recently so we have had snacks and movies starting with each letter. First we had Arthur and the Incredibles w/angel food cake and last week we had Bolt and brownies. Here is where things start to go awry. I managed quite well with the angel food cake and I got cocky. I love brownies....adore them and their chocolate gooey goodness, I had one on friday and then I had chaos and calamity this weekend so I had no more. Today I've been eyeballing the pan, bite here, pinch there sliding slowly back into the old habits I had worked so hard to replace. I have put them away and am blogging about it instead of eating them. Actually now that I am aware of what was doing it's not that difficult to CHOOSE to not eat them. I am finding that the mindless snacking is hard to combat because it's not something that I THINK about. I know that sounds like a DUH! statement but it really is an epiphany for me. I read that people are satisfied with less of whatever their beloved foods are (even a bite or two) and I cannot wait to get to that point. I dont want to rush thorugh this process, I want to savor each step so that I can fully appreciate the change as it comes and embrace where I've come from when all is said and done. I guess defeat wouldnt be correct then...hmmm.....awareness thy name is brownie? doesn't have quite the same ring to it now does it?

I have had an incredibly emotional weekend and am so very proud of myself. I stayed focused on what was important to me and didnt stop following my (self imposed) higher protien lower carb diet. I even was in a pinch and drove 4 hours w/o dinner and stopped at a gas station. slim pickins for sure but I walked out w/a water and a bag of cashews (they didnt have almonds waaaah) instead of a bag of chips and a pop or any other variation of junk. It makes me feel so ready and in control. I am proud of myself and feel like I can so do this, knowing that I will have the band as a partner to help me in making good choices is giving me the strength to make it through until my band day. Now I am off to fall into an exhausted heap into bed. May tomorrow be mundane, drab and boring....please?

I have had an incredibly emotional weekend and am so very proud of myself. I stayed focused on what was important to me and didnt stop following my (self imposed) higher protien lower carb diet. I even was in a pinch and drove 4 hours w/o dinner and stopped at a gas station. slim pickins for sure but I walked out w/a water and a bag of cashews (they didnt have almonds waaaah) instead of a bag of chips and a pop or any other variation of junk. It makes me feel so ready and in control. I am proud of myself and feel like I can so do this, knowing that I will have the band as a partner to help me in making good choices is giving me the strength to make it through until my band day. Now I am off to fall into an exhausted heap into bed. May tomorrow be mundane, drab and boring....please?

woohoo i finally have a band twin!! welcome to the group bellatrickz :0)

my band date is 4/21. I haven't been banded yet.

i updated mine, my goal is lofty but I am starting 2wks of preop and then my doc requires 4-6 wks following surgery before you are back to food. So we'll see, I figure aim high right? I will probably have a more conservative goal next challenge.

Good Morning :0) i had a bowl of cereal this morning. first time in weeks because between not eating it often and trying to limit carbs it was off the table...so to speak lol. anyway i made myself a bowl and was surprised that i couldnt finish it. amazing! I have met my walking goal this week, going 5 days. Come on 4/21 get here already!!

I am not telling people I've had labpanding done. Now I have told a few people, 4 of my close girlfriends know but they all live in at least a state if not several away. I have told my husband and my mother but that's it for local. Did you ever watch Seinfeld? You know the episode of worlds colliding? That is what it would feel like if this world met my irl world. I have been overweight as long as I can remember. My immediate family has never made me feel bad but I recently realized that my siblings are content with their weight because they are not as big as me. As long as I am the "big" one then they dont have to address their issues. I have heard the whole "you'd be pretty if..." line and the trump was when my Grandma told me "you could find such a nice boy if you lost some weight" I was maybe 16/17 yr old and told her if the 'nice boy' required that i lost weight to find him then he wasn't nice enough for me. That has long been my stance and it worked, I have been married to the nice boy in my life for almost 15 yrs. I have heard the stage whispers of "oh I thought she'd lost weight" at family functions. I dont want my weight loss to be cheapened by people talking about it as the easy way out. I have lost several pounds prior to surgery or preop diet because I am determined and focused. I dont want people to discount my work at this. Maybe as I lose weight and become more comfortable in my own skin my feelings will change. Right now I wouldnt count on it.

i am so excited to see our group growing!! Kelly, where are you staying when you go to disney? I am a HUGE disney fan and we are going for our second trip this year in november. :0)

Okay I just got off the phone w/the scheduler. I have an appt on 4/7 to do my preop physical and preop diet and answer all my questions (i have a list that is ever growing anybody got any suggestions?) and then another appt to meet w/the surgical team on 4/13. She mentioned the lapband.com site that will have info and support for me post bandign and she will give me that information after she gets it. Has anybody else used that site? I will be staying in the hospital for 36 hours after surgery to be sure everything goes smoothly (not looking forward to that at all). I also WILL have a preop diet that will start roughly 2wks prior to banding. On surgery day I have to be at the hospital at 6am @@ that SUCKS but at least i'll be done early right? okay NOW i'm starting to get a little nervous.....it suddenly seems so much more real!

oh i didnt forget i purposely omitted it. figured 4tickers was a bit much but dont want to get rid of any of them lol so i stacked them side to side to make better use of the room. I can see them at once but my laptop is a widescreen, I didnt think about that when I did it. Guess I'll whittle my tickers down...hmmm....which to lose....

I am not telling people I've had labpanding done. Now I have told a few people, 4 of my close girlfriends know but they all live in at least a state if not several away. I have told my husband and my mother but that's it for local. Did you ever watch Seinfeld? You know the episode of worlds colliding? That is what it would feel like if this world met my irl world. I have been overweight as long as I can remember. My immediate family has never made me feel bad but I recently realized that my siblings are content with their weight because they are not as big as me. As long as I am the "big" one then they dont have to address their issues. I have heard the whole "you'd be pretty if..." line and the trump was when my Grandma told me "you could find such a nice boy if you lost some weight" I was maybe 16/17 yr old and told her if the 'nice boy' required that i lost weight to find him then he wasn't nice enough for me. That has long been my stance and it worked, I have been married to the nice boy in my life for almost 15 yrs. I have heard the stage whispers of "oh I thought she'd lost weight" at family functions. I dont want my weight loss to be cheapened by people talking about it as the easy way out. I have lost several pounds prior to surgery or preop diet because I am determined and focused. I dont want people to discount my work at this. Maybe as I lose weight and become more comfortable in my own skin my feelings will change. Right now I wouldnt count on it.

I think it'd be really hard to have/host/attend a family dinner near surgery. Heck I typically host thanksgiving and I am taking this year off and that is about 7 months out from surgery. I wonder if I will ever be strong enough to not weigh every day. I only record it on fridays but every morning after I pee there I stand in all my nekkid glory on the scale hoping it's lower than the day before lol!!

congrats!! :0)

I haven't blogged much. I found myself wanting to blog myself through this experience. I am not telling people IRL so my personal blog was out. I am not really blogging for an audience but wanted a place to put my feelings out there and know that I wasn't alone or the first one to feel that way. I am so thankful for this site because it is a melting pot of btdt and just starting the journey. I have looked into lapbanding for years and years. I found this site so long before my insurance was willing to pay for the procedure. I am currently waiting for my surgery date (4/21) and am working my way to a lower carb higher protien lifestyle. I have purposed to walk 2.1 miles for 5 days a week until surgery so I will be logging 10 1/2 miles a week. So far so good. I dont really have much more for now. I just wanted a place to put what I'm thinking down so I can clear my head of the looping questions and feelings.

Today I am down 1.2lbs from last Friday. Still not on my preop diet yet but am making better choices. I am currently 313 even and hoping to get down to 299.9 (lol) before surgery 4/21. *fingers crossed*

I will join...but I dont get banded until 4/21. is that okay?

I haven't blogged much. I found myself wanting to blog myself through this experience. I am not telling people IRL so my personal blog was out. I am not really blogging for an audience but wanted a place to put my feelings out there and know that I wasn't alone or the first one to feel that way. I am so thankful for this site because it is a melting pot of btdt and just starting the journey. I have looked into lapbanding for years and years. I found this site so long before my insurance was willing to pay for the procedure. I am currently waiting for my surgery date (4/21) and am working my way to a lower carb higher protien lifestyle. I have purposed to walk 2.1 miles for 5 days a week until surgery so I will be logging 10 1/2 miles a week. So far so good. I dont really have much more for now. I just wanted a place to put what I'm thinking down so I can clear my head of the looping questions and feelings.

I cannot even imagine going to the mall and SHOPPING instead of walking around and going to the places that only have the plus sizes. I am so looking forward to going shopping and not reaching to the BACK of the rack to see if they have my size. It makes me giddy at the thought!!!!

welcome lulu and super!