malpal8629

I'm a 5th grade teacher and am scheduled for Tuesday, March 8th. It's during my Spring Break, and I'm a little nervous about being ready to go back to work the following Monday. I'm curious if there are any teachers out there also getting it done during Spring Break or anyone only taking a week off (or less.)

My surgery is scheduled for March 8. I'm going through the read everything I possibly can phase, and my husband thinks I'm "obsessing." I'm starting to get nervous and as silly as it sounds, it still doesn't seem real. When I have my normal "if I ever lose weight..." thoughts and realize it's not if, but when. It's hard to wrap my mind around it. I'd really like to know what people are doing now to prepare. I haven't started any major changes and feel guilty for not doing so yet.

I'm 30 and have baby fever like no other. I've always been overweight but stayed around 250 for many years. My highest weight was 305 and I'm now 285. I've been trying to lose weight so I won't have any complications during pregnancy and who knows if I'll even be able to conceive at this weight? My consultation is in two weeks. I'm hoping to have the surgery done over spring break or summer since I'm a teacher. I've never talked to anyone about this for fear of ridicule, but I'm just wondering what others think about whether I should try to have a baby now or lose some weight before OR do the surgery and wait 18 months-2 years after surgery before we can talk about having kids. Any thoughts?

Luckily, I don't have any health issues yet because of my weight. No diabetes and my blood pressure is in the normal range. I honestly can't imagine having a baby at the weight I am. It's hard to imagine it being a healthy pregnancy with being obese. I feel selfish wanting a baby now knowing I'm not as healthy as I could be. But then I wonder if I'm possibly imagining it as worse than it really is. I've seen many overweight women have healthy pregnancies, and I've seen healthy women have miserable pregnancies. I'm sure this is all just wishful thinking though. I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone I know what they truly think about me having a baby at this weight. When I tell people I want to lose weight before trying to get pregnant, they usually look surprised that I'm not going ahead and trying now. I'm 5'8 and definitely don't look like I weigh what I do. My mom is also overweight and when I told her I was considering the surgery, she was not supportive saying I was too small for such a drastic measure. She was shocked when I told her I was 285 pounds and had even gotten over 300. I just want to do what's best but also don't want to wait years for something I so badly want now.

And while it's probably a little TMI...I've always been extremely regular so I'm assuming that means I'm ovulating normally as well. I've never gotten off birth control, and I use the Nuvaring so there's not even an issue of missing a day on the pill. I honestly think I could get pregnant if we tried, but it's more of a question of whether I should. I'm just so conflicted.

I know this is a personal decision and I've thought about it long and hard. I was just curious what others would do in my position. Since there's nobody I'm close to that could possibly understand my situation, I thought I would turn here to see if anyone has any advice. I have talked to my husband in great detail. He had expressed a great desire to be able to see my body change during a pregnancy. I don't want to be someone who doesn't even show until the very end. I don't know if I would be, but the most important thing is that I don't want to put myself or my baby in danger due to my size. My BMI is 44, and I know I have a lot of weight to lose. When I talked to my gyno about a year ago, she suggested I get to 200. Here it is a year later and that obviously hasn't happened even though I've tried countless diets. I don't know what's wrong with me that I just can't do it. It sounds like an excuse and I keep telling myself that if I wanted a baby that bad, I'd be able to lose the weight. I guess that thinking is pretty toxic. I just want a child so bad that I think it's messing with my judgment, which is why I was seeking an unbiased opinion. Thanks for any thoughts on the matter.