Phynale

I just had surgery, and I've got two little tiny perfect baby girls at home also. I've known for a long time that I want surgery, and it's the only way I'll be able to spend more of my life with my girls and my amazing husband. Each time I had doubts, I just put it out of my mind. I wasn't about to let some short, creeping thoughts, ruin my path towards my goals. Sipping Water sucks, you get used to it, not drinking sucks, you get used to it. It's NOT permanent, it's temporary. I have dealt with all the negatives from being overweight, so I can deal with a few negatives to losing weight also. Only thing is, the negatives of losing weight are temporary, the negatives of staying overweight are permanent and very deadly.

Well, let me start by saying that I'm sitting in my driveway, and Faith No Mores "A Small Victory" just came on my stereo as I started writing this. The title is fitting for me right now.
I'd just like to take a second to thank each and everyone of you for replying to my first ever "meltdown" post. This forum has been a wealth of knowledge for me and truly an inspiration. With all of your help, as well as other, I snapped out of my funk, and decided to move along as I originally intended to and get this mofo done! It's been almost 8 months since I started this journey and I need to follow through.
I just got back from Walmart this time, picking up all my pre-op supplies (I didn't go back to Target this time, as I had a freak out the last time I was there, so I went a different route, plus the people there are some times great to take your mind off of things) LOL.
I'm as ready as I think I ever will be and I'm going for it! My surgery is at 8:00 am tomorrow. First thing I'm asking for is a Valium or something of the sort though! I'll pop back on tomorrow after surgery when I feel up to it and let everyone know how it went...
Thanks again!
Frank

The day of the surgery, just after the nurse had placed the IV in my hand, I had a mini panic attack and wanted to rip the IV out and run from the hospital. I wanted to go HOME. Took about 10 minutes to talk myself off the ledge.
We have all been there in one way or another. It is scary, and the long term ramifications are hard to take in at this point.
But it is also worth it.
You will be able to eventually do all those things again. You may not want to tho, or if you do it will probably be much less often and you'll be happy about it too.
It is not the end of things you love. It is the end of things that have controlled you, made you unhealthy and held you back. It is the beginning of taking back your life, your happiness and being able to do whatever you want because you feel good and have the energy and health to do so.
Good luck, and recognize that the fears are normal, but shouldn't keep you from going forward.

Okay what I'm about to say will probably sound trite and this is a decision that only you can make after much thought, consideration, research and prayer if you are so inclined. However, it might work to show you what you really want.
Flip a coin. Heads you will have the surgery and tails you will not. Then just before you reveal which side the coin landed on, listen to your thoughts. Which side are you hoping landed face up?
I've wanted this for years but I woke up about a week ago thinking heck no, I'm not doing this elective surgery. It wasn't long before I changed my mind back.
Though I am still about a month and a half away from my surgery date so I'm sure I will have more 'what am I doing' moments.
Still I can hardly wait and it's not that I'm looking forward to no longer being able to gulp Water or even drink with my meals or gulp a diet A&W root beer.
But I am looking forward to starting in the right direction of losing weight instead of gaining it and being able to walk to the mailbox without running out of breath and being able to get in and out of the tub without worrying that I'm going to slip and fall or being able to run and play with my grandkids or being able to dance or being able to go to a store without buggies or being able to go to an event where there is a long walk from your parked car to the building and a long walk from the entrance to your seats or being able to sit in a seat that is not at the end of the aisle or being able to go to Dollywood or being able to ride a ride without worrying that my weight is going to break it down or being able to ride a horse without feeling sorry for the horse or having to put up with being around people who look down their noses at you and think they are better than you because at least they aren't that big or being able to interview for a job and not having to hope that the person interviewing you does not automatically discount you because of their preconceived notion about fat people.
Good luck Frankenstein. I hope everything works out perfectly for you.

Okay what I'm about to say will probably sound trite and this is a decision that only you can make after much thought, consideration, research and prayer if you are so inclined. However, it might work to show you what you really want.
Flip a coin. Heads you will have the surgery and tails you will not. Then just before you reveal which side the coin landed on, listen to your thoughts. Which side are you hoping landed face up?
I've wanted this for years but I woke up about a week ago thinking heck no, I'm not doing this elective surgery. It wasn't long before I changed my mind back.
Though I am still about a month and a half away from my surgery date so I'm sure I will have more 'what am I doing' moments.
Still I can hardly wait and it's not that I'm looking forward to no longer being able to gulp Water or even drink with my meals or gulp a diet A&W root beer.
But I am looking forward to starting in the right direction of losing weight instead of gaining it and being able to walk to the mailbox without running out of breath and being able to get in and out of the tub without worrying that I'm going to slip and fall or being able to run and play with my grandkids or being able to dance or being able to go to a store without buggies or being able to go to an event where there is a long walk from your parked car to the building and a long walk from the entrance to your seats or being able to sit in a seat that is not at the end of the aisle or being able to go to Dollywood or being able to ride a ride without worrying that my weight is going to break it down or being able to ride a horse without feeling sorry for the horse or having to put up with being around people who look down their noses at you and think they are better than you because at least they aren't that big or being able to interview for a job and not having to hope that the person interviewing you does not automatically discount you because of their preconceived notion about fat people.
Good luck Frankenstein. I hope everything works out perfectly for you.

I understand what your thinking.. The I'm gonna do it's and ah hell no's... Like you, I'm a manly man.. I served in the military and I'm deputy of 17 years and a Lieutenant to boot.. I get it!! I really do..
But I look at it like this.. I'm more scared not to. If I don't my destructive eating will get me first.. I feel this tool will give me no choice to eat and live a healthier life.. And besides that, I'm over the drinking beer phase anyways.. I have people who depend on me, so it really a no brainier for me.
You got this

I couldn't sleep at all the night before surgery and I was super nervous. I had never had surgery at all and the idea that I was paying someone to cut out 80% of my stomach forever was terrifying. In the end it's a little like going off the high dive...you just have to keep walking and jump.
I spent the first 1-2 weeks convinced I had ruined my life and feeling miserable. I spent the next 2 months reasonably sure it might be working. It took me 18 months to hit goal and I have been at goal now for 9 months. I love my 20% of a stomach and having the surgery was something that I am very glad I did.
Good luck to you...just jump, it will be worth it in the end.

@@frankenstein Let me just say 99% of what your worried about is Bullshit. The only thing true about that is the permanent part. Honestly you can do all of that after surgery, once your healed I'd say by 6 months out you will be shocked. They tell you all of that to scare you into taking the surgery serious. I couldn't guzzle Water after surgery but today I just drank a whole 16.9 fl oz bottle of water in 3 minutes. I can eat and drink at the same time. I don't because I don't want to make the food go through my stomach faster but I can. You can defiantly drink beer. Now, you won't be able to "guzzle" beer because it's full of carbonation so that will not feel good. There's is NOTHING I can't do that I did before. You're going to find it more trying NOT to fall back into old habits. Thank god I can't eat as much!

I had a complete meltdown 2 days before my surgery, too. I had to pull over on my way to work because I was shaking and crying so hard. I had a major WTF am I doing panic attack. But I talked myself back off the ledge and thought about all the reasons I wanted WLS in the first place and all the pros and cons of going through with it. After that I was totally at peace with my decision and never gave it another thought. Over two years out and I still know it was the best thing I ever did.
BUT....if you are not totally OK with your decision and completely committed to all the changes that are required in order to be successful then by all means, do not go through with it. The physical part of the surgery is really the easy part (barring any complications), but the mental part is forever. I've read posts from folks that probably weren't ready for the surgery and rushed into it and then ended up squandering their opportunity. Still others have backed out of surgery only to go ahead with it months or years later. They just needed more time and that's OK.
Just go with what you really feel is best with no regrets one way or another. Backing out now doesn't mean you can't do it later, but once it's done there's no turning back.

I was self pay in Cincinnati. $14,700. No complication insurance included but like the previous poster, I prayed about it and left it in Gods' hands. You might consider calling your insurance company up front and asking them if they cover complications from elective procedures not covered by insurance. I understand some plans do, but I chose not to involve my insurance company because I didn't want the added stress or nervousness if it wasn't a positive answer.

Self paid.
Done in my hometown by an excellent surgeon through a Center of Excellence accredited facility.
~$20K and that included complication insurance.
Zero regrets other than wishing I'd done so sooner.

I was cash-pay. I had my surgery done in Florida and it was $19K. I paid an extra $1100 for complications insurance, which my doctor was a complete jerk about actually letting me use. My only complication was that I was insanely sick and another day in the hospital would have been helpful. He gave me a huge attitude because I get the idea that he is penalized if I actually used the insurance, so I just went home. Your regular insurance won't cover complications so make sure you add the extra coverage.
Past that I went to the group meeting that discussed the procedure, I had my first appt the next week with the surgeon, I had to sit through a half hour session with a nutritionist who basically taught me nothing, then that same day I had my second appt. I then paid for my surgery and 1 week later I was in the OR. From the time I decided to go to the orientation session to the time I had the surgery was a little over two weeks. I was in the hospital for three days. I then had a follow-up with the surgeon 3 weeks later and that was the last time I was ever in that office. After 3 months generally the price to see the surgeon is astronomical because your insurance doesn't cover follow-up.
If you choose a good surgeon near where you live you will be unlikely to have any complications. I have heard there are plenty of great surgeons in Mexico for 1/4 of the price. Overall by not using insurance you go through the entire process much faster, but if you end up with major complications and you don't have that extra coverage you purchase for the surgery, everything else is out of pocket.

I was self pay and part of my price ($11,900) was $50,000 in Complication Insurance (which I ended up having to use, but that's another story for another time). I did not have to see a Psychiatrist. I was required to sit through one 5 hour Nutrition Class ($80). I had an initial consultation with my surgeon and a pre op appt. My initial consultation to surgery time was two months. My post op visits are covered for a lifetime. I have BCBS and they probably would have covered my surgery due to my co-morbidities but I did not want to go through their 7 month weight loss program. I'm 52, I've been overweight for 12 years and I had made up my mind to move forward. If you have any questions, send me a message.

I finally had my first visit and the surgeon is recommending that I get the bypass while I was already heavily in the sleeve camp. He said he's not trying to talk me into it but that the bypass would be better for me since my biggest problem is eating the wrong foods.
I am 57 years old and weigh well past 300.
Can you give me your opinion on this topic? I'm assuming most of you will go with what you chose but if you can be objective for someone in my situation what would you advise?
The other difference is that I am a cash pay patient so I believe the difference is going to be an additional 4k out of pocket to get the bypass. I keep reading good things about the sleeve but also read the bypass is the gold standard and that you lose more weight with the bypass.
Is that still true?
Thank you to everyone that responds.

I was in the same boat as you. At my consultation, I was having very bad acid reflux and the dr suggested that bypass would be much better because many with sleeve (not all) have increased acid reflux after surgery. I was dead-set against bypass and left there upset but did finally come around to it (a lot thanks to this site). I would say this though - not every with bypass gets dumping syndrome (likely the drs reason for saying it would be best for you because of the foods you eat). I do not have dumping (or at least haven't thus far at 7 months post-op but I am very careful about what I eat - so far). In the end, I am quite glad I did the bypass.

If eating the wrong foods and not Portion Control are really your issue, bypass might be a better option. Once most people heal from the sleeve you can eat almost anything.

My first appointment with the surgeon is on January 11th and I can't wait. I'm a self-pay patient and am afraid I have my hopes up on how quickly I can get it done.
I would love to have a moment such as yours. Ever since I decided to finally take this plunge, I have been real careful and stingy about buying clothes with the hope this would be the last time I would have to buy the nearly biggest size at Catherines. I can't imagine buying clothes from a regular store.
I sometimes look at ads for pretty clothes for skinny people and drool but have to quickly stop because I don't want to get my hopes up too much until after the surgery.

My first appointment with the surgeon is on January 11th and I can't wait. I'm a self-pay patient and am afraid I have my hopes up on how quickly I can get it done.
I would love to have a moment such as yours. Ever since I decided to finally take this plunge, I have been real careful and stingy about buying clothes with the hope this would be the last time I would have to buy the nearly biggest size at Catherines. I can't imagine buying clothes from a regular store.
I sometimes look at ads for pretty clothes for skinny people and drool but have to quickly stop because I don't want to get my hopes up too much until after the surgery.

My first appointment with the surgeon is on January 11th and I can't wait. I'm a self-pay patient and am afraid I have my hopes up on how quickly I can get it done.
I would love to have a moment such as yours. Ever since I decided to finally take this plunge, I have been real careful and stingy about buying clothes with the hope this would be the last time I would have to buy the nearly biggest size at Catherines. I can't imagine buying clothes from a regular store.
I sometimes look at ads for pretty clothes for skinny people and drool but have to quickly stop because I don't want to get my hopes up too much until after the surgery.

My first appointment with the surgeon is on January 11th and I can't wait. I'm a self-pay patient and am afraid I have my hopes up on how quickly I can get it done.
I would love to have a moment such as yours. Ever since I decided to finally take this plunge, I have been real careful and stingy about buying clothes with the hope this would be the last time I would have to buy the nearly biggest size at Catherines. I can't imagine buying clothes from a regular store.
I sometimes look at ads for pretty clothes for skinny people and drool but have to quickly stop because I don't want to get my hopes up too much until after the surgery.

What a great post. Thank you for all of this information. I look forward to hearing more updates.

After many years of trying to get my insurance to pay for weight loss surgery (even though it is specifically written in my policy that it's not covered) and getting bigger and bigger with less and less mobility, I have finally decided that I need to just bite the bullet and pay for surgery myself.
I just noticed in another thread that I need to think about what I would do if there are complications if my insurance would not cover that?
I'm also wondering if I'm crazy to get it done here in the states when it seems it is 4 times the price for gastric sleeve surgery than if I went to Mexico?
Are there any other aspects of being a cash-pay patient that are different than when insurance pays for it, both negative and positive?