CHM

@@anonmom

The most notable issue, as anyone familiar with BPD may have guessed, is the return of eating disorder behaviours. Nothing meets diagnostic criteria or anything at this time, but since around 5 months post-op I have had significant struggles with my caloric intake. At 5 months I was at a range of 800-1000 cals/day, but since then it has slipped bit by bit. Last month I admitted to myself that it was definitely an issue again when I realized that my anxiety level was directly related to the number of calories I was consuming. I was only comfortable under 300 cals. 300-399 made me nervous. If I broke 400 calories my anxiety shot through the roof. I was making decisions on what/if I ate based not on whether I was hungry or if I'd hit my Protein goal for the day, but on whether it would push me over 400 calories. I also may or may not have forcefully vomited a time or two (or three or four...).

The last time I had these issues, the only way I was able to shut down the behaviours was by leaping in the opposite direction - ignoring calories and simply eating what I felt like when I felt like it. Therefore I am not currently tracking my food. This has indeed provided a temporary solution in that I once again eat when I'm hungry and am surely getting in enough calories. However this has made me less diligent in where those calories are coming from, and carbs in particular have crept back in a little more than I should have allowed. I have now regained a few pounds (5, to be exact) over the last month since I've quit tracking. This is how I got fat the first time. I'm giving myself one more week to get my sh*t together, then I'm back to tracking, and whatever will be will be. While neither is ideal, I'd rather deal with eating disorders than undo everything I've just done. The fact is, anorexia is easier to treat. I've already had bypass - I have no further surgical solutions for obesity.

Eating disorders aside, my emotions are also pretty out of control again. Weight loss has awoken me in many ways, and after decades of being locked tightly away, feelings are once again free and loose - and very, VERY intense. I don't become sad, I become devastated. I don't get hurt, I get destroyed. I don't feel pressure, I feel completely overwhelmed. I don't simply get happy, I get ecstatic. Everything is felt very deeply, and even the good feelings are piercing to the point of pain. Almost makes me miss the days of just going through the motions with a completely disconnected plastic smile. Almost.

I agree that this is odd. I'm glad you were able to find another surgeon who is more reasonable.

I was very open at my psych eval, revealing both borderline personality disorder - complete with its accompanying history of cutting, eating disorders, and suicide attempts - as well as my psychiatrist's suspicion of bipolar II. They didn't much seem to care.

All they were interested in was:

1. How long ago my last major episode of anything (other than depression/anxiety) was. I was just past the 5 year marker that they were looking for. Had things been even 2 months more recent, I'd have been put under a magnifying glass.

2. That I was receiving regular treatment via counselling and/or meds. I was not not on meds at the time (having been pulled off of the anti-anxiety/anti-psychotic/mood stabilizer cocktail when I was trying to get pregnant the year before), but I'd been seeing a psychologist weekly and a psychiatrist monthly.

3. That I, by all accounts, appeared to be honest with both them and myself, reasonable in my expectations of surgery (as in not expecting it to turn me into an instant swimsuit model and make my life perfect while I stuffed myself with McDonald's every day), and both aware of and accountable for any weaknesses or shortcomings that may interfere with my efforts.

Having said all of that, I must admit that I have seen a resurgence of some distinctly BPD issues since surgery. I'm in my mid-30s, so well passed the timeframe you'd expect to find such struggles. Granted I've seen a lot of change in my life fairly recently, but it's been good change - nothing you'd expect would trigger anything (okay okay...the skin hate is real, and it's deep).

I am by no means saying that everyone who has had issues in the past will see them return post-surgery. I'm just saying they could. Our medical teams watch for these things and flag our files for a reason. Just be aware. Be honest. And be forgiving of this novelette I seem to have written for you.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

@@CHM def. red boots.... but damn they are expensive.... ive been looking on ebay and thrift stores size 6.5-7 is hard to find

Try finding 14W.........shyt ain't happening.

Thankfully there is FedEx.

I feel ya. Try finding a women's 10.5W. They virtually don't exist, even online. The extraordinarily rare time they do, it's never in a style I'd be caught dead in. I need my stilettos, dammit!

Why are my feet not becoming more narrow like everything else??

@@CHM come on girl.... you have to dress up.

No I don't. I'm not going anywhere anyway.

No matter what the top will be the same..... Just not sure on the bottom.... what do yall think.... short or pants or the pic with the four girls (mini skirt)?????

I also like the far right. If you do decide to go with the pants though, I think the red boots look better than the blue ones.

If you are thinking about me in your sleep I'll count that as a win!

Pfft...

You say that to ALL the girls.

@

If I have nightmares because of these pictures you're posting, you're going to be in troooooublllllle...

I haven't really done the Halloween thing since I was an early 20-something party girl. As of late, it's just an excuse to don the red lipstick or some intense eye makeup. My a$$ still needs to get much smaller before I consider attempting to rock a tiny anything though.

Okay, I wasn't expecting that! That was a good laugh...

Amusing as it is, should you decide you'd rather change it, click on your name beside your profile pic in the upper right corner, select 'Before & After Pic', and then chose another photo to upload.

I believe that this policy is set by the medical center where your surgery will be performed, rather than by the insurance company. Because they consider bariatric surgery 'elective', mine required that the deductible and co-pay be paid in full in advance. I'm sure this policy varies from hospital to hospital though. Your surgeon's office should be able to confirm when your share of the payment will be due.

My best piece of advice is to make as many changes as you can as soon as you can, and work to get new habits and thought processes into place right away. Do NOT wait until your surgery to be 'reborn'.

As I've seen stated over and over in these forums, it's stomach surgery, not brain surgery. Changing your brain takes time, and the time to do it is NOT immediately post-op when you're fragile and healing. If head hunger and long formed habits are going to lead you to make poor choices (as they very often do...it happens), you want to learn to navigate them pre-op when you can afford to make mistakes, not post-op when you can really do some damage.

I am on board with ALL of these gripes!

First off, the shaving sucks. Yes, the underarms are the worst, but the legs suck too. How the hell do skinny people shave without catching the blade on bones all the time? Seriously, HOW??? Maybe one day I'll be able to afford the laser awesomeness that @@OzRoo was talking about. Until then, I have very dark hair on very fair skin. No matter how little hair I have or how slow my growth, visibility is high, so it needs to be shaved every single day. Which means I get sliced every single day.

The cold set in surprisingly early for me. Months before surgery after only a 40 lb loss, I had to stock up on heavy sweaters and thick socks. I'd never had need for either ever before! I was always the fat sweaty lady pulling a hand fan from her purse and blotting excess moisture from her brow in the middle of a North Dakota winter while everyone else threw on another layer. I now have an affinity for all things cozy and fluffy. Things that previously would have made me sweat just to look at, which I now surround myself with in an attempt to keep the chill away. But I will take the cold over the sweat every. Single. Time.

And finally, the bones! Fortunately I've learned how to sit to avoid the aching butt bones, so as long as I'm not seated in one position for too long I'm good there. I'm used to banging into things with my hips (hey, I'm a klutz), but now instead of cushy flesh I'm hitting actual bone, which is far less pleasant. And the one that's been surprising me lately is the shoulder blade. It is no longer comfortable to lean back against a wall or hard chair without adopting a very poor hunched over posture, because there's just too much pressure on my shoulder blades. I need to learn how to live with bones! Lol

It could definitely be a factor, as it's not uncommon. I typically stall for a week or two before, then start losing again a few days after it starts. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be moving along again in no time.

I don't know that this sounds like dumping. I suppose it could be a mild version of it, but in my opinion, I don't see how coffee and an egg would cause it, or why you would suddenly start having issues 9 months out without a clearly identifiable 'mess-up'.

I've dumped several times to varying degrees. The most notable symptoms at the onset for me are weakness, shakiness, and clamminess. My heart will begin to race. When these start I know I have but a minute to get myself somewhere safe if I'm not already. Then I'll either vomit or use the toilet, and by the time that's done I'm usually too weak to stand or walk properly. I'll carefully inch my way towards a bed/sofa/open spot on the floor and sleep it off for a couple of hours. I've never really had any significant pain or cramping from dumping - just a general sick and very, very weak feeling.

Again, this is how I experience it. Naturally, like most things in the bariatric world, it can vary greatly from person to person.

Now excuse me while I go back to bed...

@@CHM

I love you.

@@4MRB4PHOTO

I tolerate you.

Aww. And I love your love of me!

You know I adore you...

Well now I don't feel special anymore...

Oh wait, that's right. I'm too logical and sh*t to have feelings...

ISTJ (Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging)

As an ISTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in via your five senses. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically.

ISTJs are quiet and reserved individuals who are interested in security and peaceful living. They have a strongly-felt internal sense of duty, which lends them a serious air and the motivation to follow through on tasks. Organized and methodical in their approach, they can generally succeed at any task which they undertake.

ISTJs are very loyal, faithful, and dependable. They place great importance in honesty and integrity. They are "good citizens" who can be depended on to do the right thing for their families and communities. While they generally take things very seriously, they also usually have an offbeat sense of humor and can be a lot of fun – especially at family or work-related gatherings.

The ISTJ is not naturally in tune with their own feelings and the feelings of others. They may have difficulty picking up on emotional needs immediately as they are presented. Being perfectionists themselves, they have a tendency to take other people's efforts for granted, like they take their own efforts for granted. They need to remember to pat people on the back once in a while.

ISTJ Strengths

• Honest and Direct – Integrity is the heart of the ISTJ personality type. Emotional manipulation, mind games and reassuring lies all run counter to ISTJ's preference for managing the reality of the situations they encounter with plain and simple honesty.
• Strong-willed and Dutiful – ISTJs embody that integrity in their actions too, working hard and staying focused on their goals. Patient and determined, people with the ISTJ personality type meet their obligations, period.
• Very Responsible – The ISTJ's word is a promise, and a promise means everything. ISTJs would rather run themselves into the ground with extra days and lost sleep than fail to deliver the results they said they would. Loyalty is a strong sentiment for ISTJ personalities, and they fulfill their duties to the people and organizations they've committed themselves to.
• Calm and Practical – None of their promises would mean much if ISTJs lost their tempers and broke down at every sign of hardship – they keep their feet on the ground and make clear, rational decisions.
• Create and Enforce Order – The primary goal of any ISTJ is to be effective in what they've chosen to do, and they believe that this is accomplished best when everyone involved knows exactly what is going on and why. Unclear guidelines and people who break established rules undermine this effort, and are rarely tolerated by ISTJs. Structure and rules foster dependability; chaos creates unforeseen setbacks and missed deadlines.
• Jacks-of-all-trades – Much like Analysts (NT), ISTJs are proud repositories of knowledge, though the emphasis is more on facts and statistics than concepts and underlying principles. This allows ISTJs to apply themselves to a variety of situations, picking up and applying new data and grasping the details of challenging situations as a matter of course.

ISTJ Weaknesses

• Stubborn – The facts are the facts, and ISTJs tend to resist any new idea that isn't supported by them. This factual decision-making process also makes it difficult for people with the ISTJ personality type to accept that they were wrong about something – but anyone can miss a detail, even them.
• Insensitive – While not intentionally harsh, ISTJs often hurt more sensitive type's feelings by the simple mantra that honesty is the best policy. ISTJ personalities may take emotions into consideration, but really only so far as to determine the most effective way to say what needs to be said.
• Always by the Book – ISTJs believe that things work best with clearly defined rules, but this makes them reluctant to bend those rules or try new things, even when the downside is minimal. Truly unstructured environments leave ISTJs all but paralyzed.
• Judgmental – Opinions are opinions and facts are facts, and ISTJs are unlikely to respect people who disagree with those facts, or especially those who remain willfully ignorant of them.
• Often Unreasonably Blame Themselves – All this can combine to make ISTJs believe they are the only ones who can see projects through reliably. As they load themselves with extra work and responsibilities, turning away good intentions and helpful ideas, ISTJs sooner or later hit a tipping point where they simply can't deliver. Since they've heaped the responsibility on themselves, ISTJs then believe the responsibility for failure is theirs alone to bear.

Famous ISTJ's

• George Washington
• Sigmund Freud
• Warren Buffett
• Augustus
• Robert De Niro
• Matt Damon
• Natalie Portman

Career Choices

• Business Executive
• Administrator
• Manager
• Accountant
• Financial Officer
• Police Officer
• Detective
• Judge
• Attorney
• Medical Doctor
• Dentist
• Computer Programmer
• Systems Analyst
• Military Leader

ISTJ In Summary ...

Quiet, serious, earn success by thoroughness and dependability. Practical, matter-of-fact, realistic, and responsible. Decide logically what should be done and work toward it steadily, regardless of distractions. Take pleasure in making everything orderly and organized including their work, their home and their lives. Value traditions and loyalty.

I thought I'd pop into BP and see if anything looked interesting. This looked interesting.

Another ISTJ here. I'm the introverted version of @@LipstickLady !

I'll decide later if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

I absolutely hear you. I have been under 210 since 4 months post-op, and in the 2 months that have passed in the meantime, I just this morning got below 205.

This.

Is.

Taking.

FORRRRREEEEEVERRRRR!!!!

Sorry... 205.2.

I just checked and it's actually called "Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries."

To my knowledge it's never aired on American television. I discovered it on Netflix.

Hey! I actually have that on my watchlist. Haven't started it yet though...

Your story is amazing, I wish I can be as successful as you. I'm sure you'll be able to figure out a way out of your current status.

Thank you very much for the kind words. I have to keep reminding myself that I HAVE been quite successful to keep from getting caught up in the stalls and early (I feel, anyway) slowed loss. My surgeon told me to expect to lose 60-70% of my excess weight from bypass. Starting at 355 lbs with a goal of 170 and currently sitting at 205, I'm already down over 81%. I have to remember that I've already exceeded expectations, even if I'm not at goal yet.

Not true! There are plenty of body weight exercise you can do right at home. There is also the option of band training. Don't discount it so readily, I can still break a sweat from both of those activities.

Ooh, band training. There's something to look into. Thank you!

BigViff? You know I adore you, but seriously... Men don't count. They look out the window at a pretty girl walking by and they break their stall. The way men lose makes allllll the girls angry.

EDIT TO ADD DISCLAIMER TO ANYONE READING.

Viff and I are friends. I can poke him and he won't get mad. (I think he's like it.) No one needs to come in running to his rescue (or as one member like to say -- offer "back up") because I made a man joke. Seriously.

*Gasp!* How DARE you generalize our male counterparts!!

Where do you live that they don't sell ground lamb!... thats crazy.. i love lamb!

But i agree with bigviffer.... strength training is more important at this stage than cardio... especially in the tone/loose skin dept.. and it will increase your appetite...

There are plenty of strength training you can do using your own body weight and resistance bands... it doesn't need to be weights...YouTube has lots of those types of vids..

what about swimming? Swimming is good all round.. and im always starving after swimming

.

Lamb isn't super popular in this area. You can find the little lamb t-bones here and there, but I haven't found anything more yet. Granted I've only been to 3 different grocery stores in the 8 weeks I've been here.

I do love swimming. I suppose I could go jump in the lake one of these days...

You could use beef, Turkey or chicken mince... i don't think that it would be all that different, the spices mask the taste of the meat

I know I could. But I do love the flavor of lamb!

@@CHM

I think I've found your appetite. Do you want it back? I think I'm done with it.

Yes please! Damn thief. Just because you're pretty...

I was right where you are for my first year and a half or so. It took me that long to work up to 1000 calories, most days sitting firmly around 750. To combat that, my NP had me add in high Protein, higher healthy fat foods to increase my caloric intake without increasing volume.I added delicious cheeses, avocado, olives in oil instead of Water, eggs with an extra yolk, almonds, Peanut Butter...

Now I'm spoiled. I can't eat more in volume than I could during that time, but I can eat slightly more often so I have ween myself off all the richer foods.

Dammit.

If it took you over a year to get up to 1000 calories, then I wonder if 900-1100 is perhaps just too high to be regularly attainable at less than 6 months out. That happened because every time I hit a stall, after 3 weeks or so I added 100-200 calories to my intake, and its always gotten things moving again. Maybe it should have been a temporary increase to shake up my metabolism rather than a permanent one?

Perhaps I should consider dropping it back to 700-900 and Protein back to 80g. Goals may be easier to hit if the numbers seem less daunting. I know there are many days where I basically throw my hands up and say "F*ck it...I know I'm not going to get close, so why bother forcing it at all?" With lower numbers, the gap would be easier to close.

@CHM- can you consult with your prior medical team via phone or email??

And quit beating yourself up! Be nice to YOU. You'll figure it out eventually. ❤️❤️❤️

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I could certainly try to contact them. Kinda feels like bordering on fraud though, since I know they're not getting paid anymore.

And I don't feel I'm beating myself up. I'm just trying to be accountable. As previously mentioned, I've already had bypass - there are no options for revision. I can't afford to f*ck it up!

EDIT: Ooookay...I don't know what happened to my quote formatting when I edited this to fix a typo. Removing the quotes and replacing with tags. Because its easier. And I'm lazy.

@@VSGAnn2014

cheese and I are BFFs. We have a loving and enduring relationship. 3 year old cheddar is my favorite (and a daily staple), medium cheddar is my melting cheese, chevre is a regular visitor, and my beloved pecorino romano is sprinkled pretty much anywhere it makes sense (including directly into my mouth...). I've also used apple or pear slices in lieu of crackers several times.

Ham and cheese sandwiches sound like a great idea. A google search has informed me that Aldi products are not available in Canada, but I'm sure if I read labels I can find something comparable.

Chili is something I've made regularly since surgery. I prefer a white chicken chili, however. While I can handle beef just fine, the flavor and smell of ground beef has never been something that has agreed with me. Well-seasoned taco meat aside of course. Who doesn't like tacos...

@@BigViffer

Activity. Yes. I've TOTALLY been getting that in...

I'm currently just a walker. I walk everywhere. Lots of little hills around here though, so it still gets my heart rate up. I know its not ideal, but its better than nothing. I don't drive and there are no gyms within walking distance, so strength training is not going to be an option until my next move at the end of the summer. There is a bit of a home gym here (no weights), and while I have met the elliptical machine I certainly don't use it as much as I'd intended.

@

I had the same issue with Protein shakes after surgery. Pre-op, I'd never met one I didn't like. Post-op, I wasted sooooo much money trying every different brand I could find because nothing was palatable. I finally lucked out and found a brand. Then I moved, and now I have to find another one.

I do bake unflavored Protein Powder into 'egg muffins', which have served as quick and convenient Snacks that help get me closer to my goals when needed (which is apparently always...). Just remember to add extra liquid when baking with Protein, or the end result will be quite dry.

Sorry for the silence: its been a busy/distracting couple of days. Now...

This also seems like an appropriate place to ask another question...

@@KindaFamiliar and I were talking a bit ago trying to come up with some Protein dense foods that are also calorie dense, so we can hit our Protein goals without having to stuff ourselves all day to hit our calorie goals. We couldn't really come up with anything that wasn't also unreasonably heavy in the fat department.

Anyone? Anyone?

Good fats can be ok.

Peanut Butter.
Try adding Protein powder and PB2 to oatmeal.
Add a half an avocado to your meal.
Add a half a banana to your meal, Protein shake, or similar.
Add melted cheese to mashed potatoes.
Bake a small sweet potato.

You can eat good fats and complex carbs. It sounds like that you would really benefit from increasing your protein, healthy fats, and complex carbs.

Okay, does Peanut Butter oatmeal sound like just the greatest thing to anyone else right now? I HAVE been missing steel cut oats lately...

I do get a lot of fat in my diet already - that's the only reason that such content was a factor when trying to come up with calorie dense protein sources. cheese, omega-3 enhanced eggs, and peanut butter mostly, and I don't much worry about the fat content of my meats. My average for the same four weeks is 31g, or 41% of my calories (I aim for 40% protein, 40% fat, 20% carbs). I've tolerated it very well, and quite frankly, I need it, or I'd not even be getting halfway to my calorie goal.

Chobani greek yoghurt, 1/2 cup (120g) has 12g Protein

Add Premium whey Iso Burst Protein Powder: 1 scoop (30g) has 24g Protein

The 2 below are dense Proteins and dense calories, but are more fatty:

Fresh Salmon poached, 1/2 cup has 24g Protein

Lamb mince, 1/2 cup has 18g Protein

Cheese sauce with my vegetables.

I actually live on Salmon these days, both fresh and tinned.

I also cook chicken mince, and have lamb mince at times.

Beef does not agree with me at this stage.

Good luck

Ooh, salmon! I love it, but for some reason I haven't prepared it once since surgery. It has been a restaurant staple when eating out, however. I'll have to pick some up this weekend.

Also lamb mince with hummus..... link below... super duper protein rich

Link http://www.recipetineats.com/hummus-lamb/

That recipe looks amazing. I'm having a heluva time finding ground lamb in this area, but I'll mince up a chop myself to try that, dammit!