Amanda Dutton LPC

Thank you for the tips. I am very far behind you LOL and am looking forward to each step of the way . Congratulations! Awesome job!

Congrats on 14 years!!! And thank you for sharing!

Great words of advice, thank you!!!!! Happy surgiversary and thank you for taking the time to share your knowledge with us!!!!

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟
❤👑👑HAPPY 14th SURGIVERSARY👑👑❤
💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Hi, everyone!
Today (1/3/19) is my 14 year surgi-versary, and I wanted to Celebrate by sharing the gift of knowledge with anyone who may be a few steps behind me.
1. Be kind to yourself. This journey is long and hard and most definitely bumpy - but it's yours to do with as you see fit. Don't settle, but don't beat yourself up for a misstep. We did that for too long before surgery, k?
2. Be strong. You are your own best advocate. You know your body, and you know when something is not right. Push for answers. Assert yourself. Fight for what you need.
3. Be vulnerable. Cry, scream, punch pillows - do whatever works and won't get you in trouble, hurt or arrested. Be emotional. Keeping those feelings stuck deep inside is what lead many of us to overeating. Don't give feelings back that power.
4. Be open. Ask for help. Seek help. It may feel weird and strange and icky, I know. But take care of yourself. Self-care isn't selfish. It's totally selfLESS. We can't do anything for people that need us if we fall apart, so flip the script and practice recognizing self-care as the greatest gift you can give others.
5. Be grateful. Every day. Even for something small. Each time we wake up, it's a reminder that we get another opportunity to make a change in ourselves and the world.
And above all else...
BE YOU.
  
~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

Hi, everyone!
I posted this in the veterans forum, but I thought y'all might really benefit from hearing/reading this, too.
Today (1/3/19) is my 14 year surgi-versary, and I wanted to Celebrate by sharing the gift of knowledge with anyone who may be a few steps behind me.
1. Be kind to yourself. This journey is long and hard and most definitely bumpy - but it's yours to do with as you see fit. Don't settle, but don't beat yourself up for a misstep. We did that for too long before surgery, k?
2. Be strong. You are your own best advocate. You know your body, and you know when something is not right. Push for answers. Assert yourself. Fight for what you need.
3. Be vulnerable. Cry, scream, punch pillows - do whatever works and won't get you in trouble, hurt or arrested. Be emotional. Keeping those feelings stuck deep inside is what lead many of us to overeating. Don't give feelings back that power.
4. Be open. Ask for help. Seek help. It may feel weird and strange and icky, I know. But take care of yourself. Self-care isn't selfish. It's totally selfLESS. We can't do anything for people that need us if we fall apart, so flip the script and practice recognizing self-care as the greatest gift you can give others.
5. Be grateful. Every day. Even for something small. Each time we wake up, it's a reminder that we get another opportunity to make a change in ourselves and the world.
And above all else...
BE YOU.   
~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

Hi, everyone!
Today (1/3/19) is my 14 year surgi-versary, and I wanted to Celebrate by sharing the gift of knowledge with anyone who may be a few steps behind me.
1. Be kind to yourself. This journey is long and hard and most definitely bumpy - but it's yours to do with as you see fit. Don't settle, but don't beat yourself up for a misstep. We did that for too long before surgery, k?
2. Be strong. You are your own best advocate. You know your body, and you know when something is not right. Push for answers. Assert yourself. Fight for what you need.
3. Be vulnerable. Cry, scream, punch pillows - do whatever works and won't get you in trouble, hurt or arrested. Be emotional. Keeping those feelings stuck deep inside is what lead many of us to overeating. Don't give feelings back that power.
4. Be open. Ask for help. Seek help. It may feel weird and strange and icky, I know. But take care of yourself. Self-care isn't selfish. It's totally selfLESS. We can't do anything for people that need us if we fall apart, so flip the script and practice recognizing self-care as the greatest gift you can give others.
5. Be grateful. Every day. Even for something small. Each time we wake up, it's a reminder that we get another opportunity to make a change in ourselves and the world.
And above all else...
BE YOU.
  
~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

Totally a valid question!

It does seem like "born and raised" Southern folks - especially those of us with deep family roots - would have a harder time with weight.

For me, food was always around. My grandmother (Granny) was my caregiver shortly after my parents returned to work up until I could drive. She had a garden, raised chickens and cooked everything in lard or Crisco - even some of the vegetables. Fried chicken every Tuesday. Giant handmade biscuits ("cathead" biscuits). Sweet tea in the fridge at all times.

Every family gathering revolved around food - holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals - everything.

Not cleaning your plate was not an option. She was raised during the Great Depression and had 7 kids - you did NOT waste food. And as was said before, you ate no matter whose home you were at and what time it was - it was disrespectful not to.

Bless their hearts. 🤣

~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

Hi, everyone!
I posted this in the veterans forum, but I thought y'all might really benefit from hearing/reading this, too.
Today (1/3/19) is my 14 year surgi-versary, and I wanted to Celebrate by sharing the gift of knowledge with anyone who may be a few steps behind me.
1. Be kind to yourself. This journey is long and hard and most definitely bumpy - but it's yours to do with as you see fit. Don't settle, but don't beat yourself up for a misstep. We did that for too long before surgery, k?
2. Be strong. You are your own best advocate. You know your body, and you know when something is not right. Push for answers. Assert yourself. Fight for what you need.
3. Be vulnerable. Cry, scream, punch pillows - do whatever works and won't get you in trouble, hurt or arrested. Be emotional. Keeping those feelings stuck deep inside is what lead many of us to overeating. Don't give feelings back that power.
4. Be open. Ask for help. Seek help. It may feel weird and strange and icky, I know. But take care of yourself. Self-care isn't selfish. It's totally selfLESS. We can't do anything for people that need us if we fall apart, so flip the script and practice recognizing self-care as the greatest gift you can give others.
5. Be grateful. Every day. Even for something small. Each time we wake up, it's a reminder that we get another opportunity to make a change in ourselves and the world.
And above all else...
BE YOU.   
~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

Hi, everyone!
I posted this in the veterans forum, but I thought y'all might really benefit from hearing/reading this, too.
Today (1/3/19) is my 14 year surgi-versary, and I wanted to Celebrate by sharing the gift of knowledge with anyone who may be a few steps behind me.
1. Be kind to yourself. This journey is long and hard and most definitely bumpy - but it's yours to do with as you see fit. Don't settle, but don't beat yourself up for a misstep. We did that for too long before surgery, k?
2. Be strong. You are your own best advocate. You know your body, and you know when something is not right. Push for answers. Assert yourself. Fight for what you need.
3. Be vulnerable. Cry, scream, punch pillows - do whatever works and won't get you in trouble, hurt or arrested. Be emotional. Keeping those feelings stuck deep inside is what lead many of us to overeating. Don't give feelings back that power.
4. Be open. Ask for help. Seek help. It may feel weird and strange and icky, I know. But take care of yourself. Self-care isn't selfish. It's totally selfLESS. We can't do anything for people that need us if we fall apart, so flip the script and practice recognizing self-care as the greatest gift you can give others.
5. Be grateful. Every day. Even for something small. Each time we wake up, it's a reminder that we get another opportunity to make a change in ourselves and the world.
And above all else...
BE YOU.   
~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

Hi, everyone!
I posted this in the veterans forum, but I thought y'all might really benefit from hearing/reading this, too.
Today (1/3/19) is my 14 year surgi-versary, and I wanted to Celebrate by sharing the gift of knowledge with anyone who may be a few steps behind me.
1. Be kind to yourself. This journey is long and hard and most definitely bumpy - but it's yours to do with as you see fit. Don't settle, but don't beat yourself up for a misstep. We did that for too long before surgery, k?
2. Be strong. You are your own best advocate. You know your body, and you know when something is not right. Push for answers. Assert yourself. Fight for what you need.
3. Be vulnerable. Cry, scream, punch pillows - do whatever works and won't get you in trouble, hurt or arrested. Be emotional. Keeping those feelings stuck deep inside is what lead many of us to overeating. Don't give feelings back that power.
4. Be open. Ask for help. Seek help. It may feel weird and strange and icky, I know. But take care of yourself. Self-care isn't selfish. It's totally selfLESS. We can't do anything for people that need us if we fall apart, so flip the script and practice recognizing self-care as the greatest gift you can give others.
5. Be grateful. Every day. Even for something small. Each time we wake up, it's a reminder that we get another opportunity to make a change in ourselves and the world.
And above all else...
BE YOU.   
~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

Hi, everyone!
Today (1/3/19) is my 14 year surgi-versary, and I wanted to Celebrate by sharing the gift of knowledge with anyone who may be a few steps behind me.
1. Be kind to yourself. This journey is long and hard and most definitely bumpy - but it's yours to do with as you see fit. Don't settle, but don't beat yourself up for a misstep. We did that for too long before surgery, k?
2. Be strong. You are your own best advocate. You know your body, and you know when something is not right. Push for answers. Assert yourself. Fight for what you need.
3. Be vulnerable. Cry, scream, punch pillows - do whatever works and won't get you in trouble, hurt or arrested. Be emotional. Keeping those feelings stuck deep inside is what lead many of us to overeating. Don't give feelings back that power.
4. Be open. Ask for help. Seek help. It may feel weird and strange and icky, I know. But take care of yourself. Self-care isn't selfish. It's totally selfLESS. We can't do anything for people that need us if we fall apart, so flip the script and practice recognizing self-care as the greatest gift you can give others.
5. Be grateful. Every day. Even for something small. Each time we wake up, it's a reminder that we get another opportunity to make a change in ourselves and the world.
And above all else...
BE YOU.
  
~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

Totally a valid question!

It does seem like "born and raised" Southern folks - especially those of us with deep family roots - would have a harder time with weight.

For me, food was always around. My grandmother (Granny) was my caregiver shortly after my parents returned to work up until I could drive. She had a garden, raised chickens and cooked everything in lard or Crisco - even some of the vegetables. Fried chicken every Tuesday. Giant handmade biscuits ("cathead" biscuits). Sweet tea in the fridge at all times.

Every family gathering revolved around food - holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals - everything.

Not cleaning your plate was not an option. She was raised during the Great Depression and had 7 kids - you did NOT waste food. And as was said before, you ate no matter whose home you were at and what time it was - it was disrespectful not to.

Bless their hearts. 🤣

~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

With a sleeve, you may not have to adjust meds. As an RNY, I had to have mine changed from XR to regular because of issues with absorption due to not having access to stomach acid and because we lose those first few feet of intestines where things are absorbed.

Since the sleeve became more popular BECAUSE those issues didn't happen (malabsorption), and the anatomy change wasn't causing the lack of access to stomach acid to break down medications, that is what makes me suspect that you won't need to change.

Totally making an educated guess based on my own experience and that of my clients, though. 🤷‍♀️ Definitely still ask your doc.

~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

Hi, everyone!
Today (1/3/19) is my 14 year surgi-versary, and I wanted to Celebrate by sharing the gift of knowledge with anyone who may be a few steps behind me.
1. Be kind to yourself. This journey is long and hard and most definitely bumpy - but it's yours to do with as you see fit. Don't settle, but don't beat yourself up for a misstep. We did that for too long before surgery, k?
2. Be strong. You are your own best advocate. You know your body, and you know when something is not right. Push for answers. Assert yourself. Fight for what you need.
3. Be vulnerable. Cry, scream, punch pillows - do whatever works and won't get you in trouble, hurt or arrested. Be emotional. Keeping those feelings stuck deep inside is what lead many of us to overeating. Don't give feelings back that power.
4. Be open. Ask for help. Seek help. It may feel weird and strange and icky, I know. But take care of yourself. Self-care isn't selfish. It's totally selfLESS. We can't do anything for people that need us if we fall apart, so flip the script and practice recognizing self-care as the greatest gift you can give others.
5. Be grateful. Every day. Even for something small. Each time we wake up, it's a reminder that we get another opportunity to make a change in ourselves and the world.
And above all else...
BE YOU.
  
~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

I told immediate family and one work friend beforehand. Oh, and individual friends who live out of state/country. Then I've been revealing it one by one to the rest of the family (basically, you see me in person, you get the actual scoop) and on a person-by-person basis for others.
I'm very aware that a limited explanation will likely reinforce the "you only need to diet and exercise" storyline, which I personally found harmful when it was recited at me in the past decade, so I do try to be forthright about it. Surgery is the only thing that works permanently, and I don't want to mislead. But I am selective about who I tell - the gym rat who eats only chicken breasts, is looking to shave off five pounds and wants my secret diet tricks? No. The coworker with a 9 month old baby and 30 pregnancy pounds she can't shake? Yes.
It really is up to you as an individual, but I'd like to do what I can to remove the surgery stigma. It's the only thing that works reliably, and pushing back against decades of social conditioning that ignores science and insists it's only a matter of willpower is important. But that's not a path for everyone, and I wouldn't judge anyone who chooses to be private about what is, currently, a stigmatized procedure.

With a sleeve, you may not have to adjust meds. As an RNY, I had to have mine changed from XR to regular because of issues with absorption due to not having access to stomach acid and because we lose those first few feet of intestines where things are absorbed.

Since the sleeve became more popular BECAUSE those issues didn't happen (malabsorption), and the anatomy change wasn't causing the lack of access to stomach acid to break down medications, that is what makes me suspect that you won't need to change.

Totally making an educated guess based on my own experience and that of my clients, though. 🤷‍♀️ Definitely still ask your doc.

~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

It's definitely a personal choice. I think it's totally appropriate for you to do whatever makes you feel comfortable. You may decide to not say anything for awhile and then one day change your mind - or not!

Everyone in my circle knew because it had been a long decision process for me and I wanted the accountability. Eventually, the transformation was significant and it stuck, so it was something I was proud to share. Now, I've made my journey my life purpose, so I definitely share with everyone I encounter if the opportunity arises and it keeps me even more accountable (I'm a therapist and I coach bariatric surgery patients, too).

~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

It sounds like you have a good grasp on the reasons why we slow down as we go (like having less to lose over all), so that's awesome, first of all. You're already ahead of many people that may not even realize that! Also, you're looking at the month rather than day-by-day, so kudos to you!

Having slow and fast months is totally normal. Even a slow month is kind of a plateau. Being 4 months out, your body is still healing, so there is still going to be inflammation that causes your body to hang on to fat a little longer for fuel to heal.

As long as you are moving, staying on plan with nutrition and vitamins/supplements and getting in your Water, you should be fine.

I remember having those same thoughts then suddenly having a loss shortly after. Keep us updated! [emoji175]

~SW: 278 CW: 165~
RNY 1/5/2005
"What got you here won't get you there."

My waddle is just the motivation I need to drop my shoulders and lift my head in pics.

Or figure out how to gobble.  

Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

My waddle is just the motivation I need to drop my shoulders and lift my head in pics.

Or figure out how to gobble.  

Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

This is very encouraging!! Thank you for the reply! I'll also look into the Voltaren gel!

Hey! I haven't posted on BP in ages, but got back on and came across your post, so I thought I'd offer an encouraging response.
I'm 14 years post RNY and have RA & also take Humira. I've had no issues with it being effective, since it's an injectable and not oral. I also take Gabapentin for fibromyalgia and it hasn't been an issue either.
My RA wasn't diagnosed until about 5 years ago, but I have had signs for years. I also use a topical NSAID with no issues (Voltaren gel), again, since it's not oral, but I don't use it often.
Hope that helps!
~SW: 278, CW:168 & proud!~

The honeymoon period. The time period after the surgery, when the weight is coming off without much effort, and you feel like it was the best decision you ever made. The compliments are coming from everyone, you're fine with taking the supplements, the Protein Shakes, heck, you're even okay with losing some hair – it'll grow back, right?
But what about when you've reached “that” point? The point where the weight loss has slowed. The “head hunger” has started and, well, the “fun” has worn off. Reality sinks in that this “real life.” This is something that you need to keep up with. This is now your...gulp...”everyday” life.


The honeymoon period. The time period after the surgery, when the weight is coming off without much effort, and you feel like it was the best decision you ever made. The compliments are coming from everyone, you're fine with taking the supplements, the Protein shakes, heck, you're even okay with losing some hair – it'll grow back, right?
But what about when you've reached “that” point? The point where the weight loss has slowed. The “head hunger” has started and, well, the “fun” has worn off. Reality sinks in that this “real life.” This is something that you need to keep up with. This is now your...gulp...”everyday” life.
Did you expect to have depression creep in? Or maybe creep back in? Most of us thought this surgery would correct our mood issues, thinking that losing the weight would help get rid of that which was bothering us. So what happened? Why are we sad, frustrated, mad? Why aren't we...well...happy?
A lot of this can be attributed to losing our primary coping tool to deal with depression and stress: mindless consumption of food. We may not have realized it at the time, but food was our comfort, our companion, sometimes the only thing that was there for us when nothing/nobody else was. Now, that support is no longer something we can reach for in hard times to get us through. We are physically and emotionally missing/grieving our former “companion.”
Our coping tool.
Sometimes, our best friend.
So what do we do?
First, we have to look at the physical way food was affecting us. Not just related to weight, but in our brain. Food was giving us satisfaction in a way that was “rewarding” receptors in our brain that control the chemical dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical that makes us feel good. This is the same chemical that is triggered when someone uses drugs or alcohol. Yep, scary thought, huh?
That's why we often hear about “food addiction.” We are literally “feeding” that addiction when we overeat. That's hard to accept, I know.
Second, we have to look at WHY we may be overeating. What thoughts do we have that lead us to seek food as comfort? Are they thoughts about ourselves? Are we thinking that “I'm so fat” or “I shouldn't even try” or maybe even “Why do I even bother?” Sometimes the addiction is so deep, it's hard to identify the thoughts that made the behavior start.
Then it may be more helpful to think about the feelings. What feelings direct us to start overeating? Is it anger? Boredom? Defeat? Do the words or actions of another make us feel “less than” and lead to lowered self worth, thus leading to the desire to overeat?
The concept of looking at Thoughts-Feelings-Behaviors is at the core of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a standard therapeutic method of behavioral therapists. Finding a therapist that can help us figure out the source of how these 3 things work together to lead us on the path to overeating can go a long way toward correcting the behavior. The key to CBT is retraining those thoughts to become more positive, leading to more positive feelings and behaviors.
Often, we get stuck with “ants” - Automatic Negative Thoughts – and they are hard to undo. With the assistance of a therapist that is trained in CBT, particularly one that is familiar with bariatric surgery, we can retrain our brains to think more positively about ourselves, thus leading to be less dependent on food to nurture feelings of happiness.
What kind of “ANTs” do you want to get rid of? Can you think of a chain of Thoughts-Feelings-Behaviors that you would like to change? What would you rather that chain look like instead?

We've all heard the words “guilt” and “shame” throughout our lives, but do you truly understand the difference? How do we know when we are “guilty” of something and when we are “ashamed” of something? In this post, I will try to explain the difference and how each of these are important to understand as we recover from our love affair with food and how to overcome she guilt and shame associated with our addiction (and yes, it's time to admit that we are addicted to food).


Have you ever done something in your life that you wish you hadn't? Sure, you have. We all have. If someone says that they haven't, then I would like to meet them. Granted, we can say “everything I have done has made me the person I am today, so I don't regret anything,” and I think that's awesome, but still, there are those things we might have done differently at least.
"Guilt" is your conscience, what tells you that what you are doing is wrong and that you “know better.” Maybe you were 5 years old and stuck a piece of candy in your pocket at the grocery store. Maybe you broke something at your Aunt Judy's house and blamed it on your sister. Whatever it was, you felt guilt because you were the one that had performed the “action” or the “behavior.”
“Shame” is what you feel when you ignore your guilt and do the behavior or action anyway. Let's say that you took the candy from the store, and when you got home and started to eat it, your mom found out and was furious. She took you back to the store and made you apologize. That feeling you had, along with embarrassment, was shame. Shame makes you feel that you are a bad person, that internal dialogue that results in addressing your self-perception.
How Guilt and Shame Relate to Food Addiction
When related to our addiction to food, guilt and shame can come when we fall off the wagon after our surgery (in addiction, this is referred to as a “relapse”). Let's say we choose to eat a food that we know is not good for us after surgery. First we feel guilty for eating the food (the behavior), then we feel shame because we may perceive ourselves as a bad person, a failure, etc.
This kind of thinking, when not addressed effectively, can lead us down the path of ongoing negative self-talk that can cause repeated relapse due to feeling that we have failed ourselves. Think back to times where you may have not done so well on diets prior to surgery. Perhaps a “slip up” on the diet caused you to think “that's it, I screwed up. I might as well give up.” Sound familiar? That's addict thinking. One relapse and the addiction rears its head and we are back in full-force.
Reframing the Thoughts
So, how do we reframe that “shame” and “guilt” so that a possible relapse doesn't derail our progress?
Own up to the mistake – don't hide from the fact that we made a mistake. We all have slip ups from time to time. Take responsibility for it. This is our new lifestyle and we signed up for this for a reason. Accept the consequences, if there are any, and accept them with grace. We are responsible adults, and we have to act as such. Be proud of your accomplishments so far and not ashamed of a mistake that can be repaired.
Fix the mistake – What went wrong? Was there a stress that overwhelmed you? Were you in a situation that put you around a food that was just too tempting? What can you do differently to prevent this particular situation from happening again? Figure out what the cause was that lead to the relapse and how to make it different. If you recognize the situation and change it, and it still happens, then the situation was not the issue. It may be time to dig a little deeper into yourself and see if you have truly identified the mistake.
Ask forgiveness – Surprised by this one? There are others that are probably on this journey with you. Perhaps your support people are aware that you slipped and have verbalized or otherwise made you aware of their disappointment. As part of owning up to the mistake, ask forgiveness and ask for their help. Taking the time to reach out to them and acknowledge that you know they are there will go a long way to keep you on track.
Forgive yourself – above all, DO THIS! - seriously, this is most important. You must forgive yourself for this fall. It's life. We have to get up and move forward. Was it wrong? Yep. Do we feel bad about it? Sure. Did it make us put back on 50 pounds that we lost? Nope. Get up, wipe your eyes, keep moving.

Shame and guilt don't have to be ongoing reminders of our past. Using the steps above, we can grow in many areas of our lives, not just in recovery from our bariatric surgery and our love affair with food. Try these steps with other areas in your life in which you may be feeling shame or guilt.