Cervidae

That's so great! Congratulations. I am going to San Diego on March 20th, and I confess that I am honestly terrified that I'm going to need a belt extender. It's going to be tough for me to still feel good about myself and my progress if I STILL need a belt extender. We'll see. Thanks for sharing.

@@Patti66 if you're asking me, I chose the RNY. I had it last August, so I'm now 6.5 months post op.

@@butterfly23 thank you so much! It makes me so happy to hear that I've helped anyone in any way. The people here have been so kind and helpful to me, and I really want to return the favor. Stay healthy and happy!

All of these previous answers are correct. There are multiple reasons it's not a good idea post-op, especially for the first 6 months. I've heard horror stories about people getting bleeding ulcers and almost dying all because they didn't want to listen to their surgeon and quit caffeine. Same with nsaids and smoking.

I didn't really have the famous "3 week stall" but by three months out or so, I started getting my period again, and now I stall for 2-5 weeks every time I get my period. I just finally came out of a 5 week stall, thankfully. It's going to be frustrating every time it happens, but it IS going to happen a lot. Despite my huge stalls every month, sometimes for most of the month, I've still lost almost 120 since the day of surgery 6.5 months ago. It all evens out in the end. Hang in there!

Good luck! I felt the same way before surgery. A year ago today I was just starting the process, going to my second nut appointment I think. I'm 131 pounds lighter than I was this day last year, give or take a pound or two. No matter how much you know it's possible and how much you look forward to it, NOTHING compares to how incredible it feels to be in a body that loses a lot of weight. I'm excited for you! Best wishes and good health, always.

I'm almost 6.5 months out and I'm still not eating what I'm "supposed" to be eating, in terms of the amounts. I'm supposed to be able to eat half a cup of food, perhaps 1/4 cup if it's meat or something dense. I'm at maybe half that. At my 6 month checkup a couple weeks ago, my surgeon did not seem concerned, mainly because I don't have any pain or vomiting, which would be an indication of serious problems. She just said to continue measuring and tracking everything, and if it takes me three small meals to finish a half cup of food, then do it. I also supplement with a shake a day, sometimes two if my stomach is being particularly bitchy. If you're not feeling any pain or vomiting and you're getting in your Water and Protein, I wouldn't worry about it. It takes a lot of time to heal and adjust. How is your water and protein intake, btw? Are you able to get in what you need, or at least close to it?

They look great! I wonder if I could find them here in NY. I'm unfamiliar with the brand.

@@carmar23 I FINALLY just broke out of a stall that lasted a little over a month. The first couple of weeks, I felt these same fears. I'm still in the 270s, and I had this panic, imagining that my weight would be staying in the 270s indefinitely. Logic and reason, while they are helpful and clarify a lot of things, have never had a whole lot of positive effect on reducing my anxieties when it comes to my weight loss. The only thing that has ever helped me was powering through this scary/frustrating stall and telling myself that even if I were to enter maintenance at this high weight, that doesn't mean I'm not losing any more. It just means I have to work harder to do it. I know what it feels like to be trapped in your body and feel like you have no control over it, because I lived that nightmare for many years. We aren't like that anymore. We're in control now. After the first couple weeks of my stall, I got to this kinda zen place. I obviously have no control over when the stall is going to start and end, as the various things I tried to end it did not work. So I just let out a breath and accepted that I should focus on being healthy and let the weight loss come when it will. Today I woke up two pounds lighter than yesterday. If you are doing everything right, then you'll reach your goals or something comparable in the end. Hang in there!

Thank you for your responses and stories, everyone. I feel so much better today. I'm thinking my distress at her comments was a mixture of my own self-consciousness, the fact that this whole thing is already a huge emotional roller coaster, and the fact that my hormones are completely insane right now for multiple reasons. You guys always know how to fix my perspective when it gets topsy turvy.

Hello bariatric pals. Today, my boyfriend's mother drove up from Philly for her sister's birthday here in Rochester. I always felt that she was supportive and non-judgmental of me. She was there on the day of surgery, helping me and taking care of me. When I first told her I was planning on having surgery, she seemed sort of baffled but still tried to be supportive and encouraging. I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving, which was 40-50 pounds ago, and I was excited to show her all the progress I've made. I THINK she was trying to compliment me, or at least comment on how much I've lost. I'm almost positive she did not mean to be cruel or hurtful. But what she said was "you were VERY LARGE" - and she said it 5 times throughout the conversation. As though the only thing she could comment on was that I was VERY large and now I'm only LARGE. That she had to repeat that same phrase 5 separate times, but never once said I looked good, or I'm doing well makes me think that I couldn't possibly look as good as I finally convinced myself I look. I almost wish she had said nothing at all. That would have been less hurtful than being reminded that even though there are 165 pounds between that VERY large person and the person I am today, I will always be that girl. It made me feel like I will only ever be "442-pound Abby". It made me feel like I've been fooling myself by finally feeling like I can go out in public and my fatness isn't a glaring thing that offends the precious eyes of all the judgmental assholes that feel entitled to stare at me and make comments like I'm less than human, all because I'm fat. Am I ever going to escape her? Am I ever going to be treated like a person with talents and dreams and desires, or am I always going to be a VERY LARGE person? Is the hate and stigma surrounding fat people so intense that my entire personality is negated by my looks, even though I no longer look ANYTHING like the girl I was a year ago? Do the people in my life have this set image of me when my weight was out of control, and is that image ever going to change? Or am I just fooling myself? I guess I'm just looking for... support? Commiseration? A shoulder to cry on? I thought I was past feeling like this, like I'm not worthy of feeling good about myself and the enormous amount of effort I've put into my health. But today, I feel like I'm all the way back at square one.

That would drive my up the wall! I really hope things work out for the best for you.

I'm in NY so I don't think I can offer much advice about your process but welcome and I hope you find all you need here. It's a great community. I wish you all the best.

In my experience and reading the experiences of others here on BP, all this is pretty normal. There are a few lucky people who adjust quickly, and move on toward their new life with enthusiasm and hope. I was certainly not one of these people and it seems you are not either. The only comfort I can offer you is that this WILL get better. Sometimes it takes a good while to adjust to your new stomach, your new diet, and your new life. That in itself is a jarring experience. Throw in all the hormone imbalances that are happening in your body as we speak and you've got a recipe for anxiety and misery. Just keep reminding yourself why you've come so far already, and why you've done all this work. Remind yourself of the person you were before you took the plunge and the person you'd like to be as you go forward. This is one of the hardest parts, but it will improve, and soon. You'll be able to tolerate food and drink better, you'll get accustomed to all the new stuff, and in a couple of months, you'll look back on this unhappy time and be relieved, because it will be over.

chicken chili and turkey chili from trader joes pureed and with a little tiny dollop of fat-free sour cream. Sooooo good!

James covered most of what I would advise. As for cravings for your favorite foods... well, I think most of us had those same cravings. It makes sense to want to eat certain things you know you will never be able to eat again, or things you're resolved to never eat again. All I can say is: go ahead and have some of those favorite foods (if they aren't like deep fried fat covered in sugar and grease or something like that) but I would really recommend being careful with the amounts you eat. You're having surgery to extend your life and make yourself healthier. Might as well not sabotage that. Enjoy these bad/delicious foods but be aware that the worse you eat now, the less prepared and healthy your body will be for surgery. I'm sure you'll figure out a balance that works for you. My last meal was a favorite - grilled chicken and shrimp with red potatoes from Applebee's.

I'm sorry you're in so much pain, and I can assure you it's only going to get better, probably much better, and soon. And comparing yourself to others is only ever going to make you miserable. I've been having to learn this lesson as well. No one else has your body, your history, your hormones, etc. Just keep taking care of yourself and give yourself as much time and tlc as you need to heal. You'll get there.

woohoo! You'll do great.

There are going to be a lot of these little stalls, and a lot of big ones too. Never has someone lost every single day until they hit goal weight, unfortunately. I'm in a stall as we speak... for a month now. It sucks and is frustrating, but I've still lost 110 pounds in 6 months. Do yourself a huge favor and focus on being healthy and taking good care of yourself, as well as healing. The weight loss will come naturally as a result.

Beautifully expressed, and I relate to this so, so much. Thank you for sharing.

Sounds like this person was being rude because she is feeling self-conscious and insecure herself. She's trying to justify her own crappy decisions but reducing your difficulty, which is none of her business anyway. You said it above and it's so true, no one knows your life and your struggle, so no one but you gets a say in what you do and how you deal with things. Hopefully this rude person will grow up a little, but if not, this is about you and not her. Do what you need to do.

At ten years old, I got my first period. It was right around this time that I began to gain weight... and just keep on gaining. I don't remember a time when I didn't feel heavy and out of place. I'm still significantly overweight, but now I have a neck, and collar bones! Last night we were at the laundromat and I was walking back out the door to get the dryer sheets from the car and I jumped a little because I thought I was about to run into someone... I didn't recognize my own reflection. I completely understand how surreal you feel about it because I feel the same way. You'll do great! Keep us posted, and take it easy.

there is no average, unfortunately. It's dependent on which surgery you had, starting weight, how much you need to lose, how fast or slow your metabolism is, the balance of many different hormones, other medical issues, how much food and liquid you get in, exercise, etc. The list goes on and on. What was your starting weight, if you don't mind me asking?

I think the more likely option is a revision to your pre-existing rny. Lots of people need/get revisions with little problems, so I would definitely look into it. I wish you the best of luck.

You CAN do it! I don't even know you and I totally believe in you. You've come a long way and learned a lot, and now it's time for the next step on your journey towards health! We're all here to support you. <3 Also, I am 6 months and 2 days post op, and I'm down 110 since surgery. My weight on the day of surgery was 387. It's not only doable but your good results are just around the corner... you've got this.