Cervidae

The odds of losing weight and keeping it off as a morbidly obese person vs an obese person are even lower, by the way. Scarily low. Some doctors say that it's verging on impossible to lose and maintain significant weight loss once you surpass a certain BMI. The odds of losing significant weight and keeping it off after surgery are WAYYYY higher. Not to mention, if you gain your weight back after surgery, you still have all the tools you had before you started gaining it back: your surgically altered stomach, the new habits and tastes you've acquired, and the knowledge your obtained about eating healthfully during the surgery and weightloss phase. The same is not true for people who lose and gain without surgery. If you feel that you could do this on your own, more power to you! I mean that without sarcasm. Go ahead and try to do it again on your own. But do you really see a significant, sustained loss if you go that way? Ask yourself honestly, and answer yourself honestly. Until you know this is what you want to do and you're really ready and committed to it, you're better off trying on your own anyway. This surgery, the requirements leading up to it, and the huge lifestyle and habit changes that come after it are for life and they are enormous, and no one who is not completely sure they want it and completely committed should take it on. You'll know when you're ready. Maybe you already know and you're just afraid, as we all were. Only you can know. I wish you nothing but health and happiness.

Not getting in your water/protein is only going to make your physical and emotional difficulties worse, believe me. You must find a way to force it in. Right now, water and protein aren't food, they are medicine; life-saving medicine that you need to heal and become healthy. It gets better! Try to remember why you did this in the first place, and try to imagine where you'll be a year from now: fully healed, healthy, maybe even at goal weight or close! To get there, you're going to have to trudge through this pit of pain and struggle, but I promise you: it DOES get better. Just keep reminding yourself of that, because it is absolutely true, and stick to the plan as best as you can. Hang in there. <3

Worrying is normal, especially during this time right before surgery. But ask yourself these things: why did you go through all of this in the first place? What are the reasons you even began this journey? Do these reasons still exist? Is it worth dealing with possible complications/difficulties for the chance to lose weight and be healthy/happy? The reality is, if you're anything like the rest of us here (and I suspect you are. You're here for a reason), then you've tried and failed before, probably many times. You know what you want, and you know how to get there. Of course this process is scary. It would be silly not to contemplate the very real issues that could arise. Might you have trouble in the beginning? Yes, you probably will. Might it be painful right after surgery for a week or two? Yep. It definitely will. But are you willing to deal with a short period of pain and discomfort for many years of health and life that would not exist without this surgery? Only you can answer that. In the end, this is a huge, terrifying, and sometimes horrible process. You're probably going to have crappy experiences with food/drink, gas, weird metabolic and hormonal changes that make you a little crazy, maybe even some deficiencies that you're going to need to work at to fix. Maybe even some of your "friends" and loved ones will act strangely towards you as you change and become closer to society's expectations of beauty and normalcy. But you're also going to have an entire new life, and entire new you. You're going to have times when you're so overwhelmed by the amazing changes you'll be going through that you'll just break down in tears out of pure joy and disbelief. If you do this, understand that as monumentally difficult as this is going to be, it's going to be a thousand times better than where you are. In a year, when you're completely healed and living your new life (probably loving the way you feel and look), these fears will seem silly to you. You'll look back at this and realize that everything has been worth it and that you'd do it again in a heartbeat. By the way! I'm a little over 13 months out and I've lost almost 200 since surgery and over 250 overall. I went from a size 34 jeans to a size 10/12 jeans. I followed the plan obsessively, and as such, have not suffered any dumping or Vitamin deficiencies. My one-year check up last month proved I am perfectly healthy. Now that I am healed and have entered maintenance, I've added some good carbs back into my diet. I can even treat myself with a bite or two of something yummy and naughty (i.e. my friend's birthday cake) and then move on with my life. My relationship with food is now healthy and normal, something I never really believed I would ever experience. I feel... normal. Yup... I would do this all over again a million times if it would get me here every time. Only you can choose, but it seems to me that you already know what to do and why you're doing it. Don't let your fears conquer you. I wish you nothing but the best of luck and health moving forward.

Unfortunately there are very real medical reasons they won't operate on you while you're sick. Could you lie and just not tell them you're sick? Probably. But I would highly recommend doing this by the book and keeping your medical team informed about this, and they can decide what to do about it and where to go from here. It would be better to postpone your surgery a couple weeks (or maybe even less) than to risk your health by going under and trying to recover from a major surgery while your immune system is trying to fight something else. Best of luck to you! Sleep, drink fluids, and take good care of yourself.

I chose the bypass for a number of reasons, key among them that I wanted as much help as I could get and because, statistically speaking, patients tend to lose more weight faster with the bypass and have a higher statistical probability of maintaining that loss over time. I started the process at a little over 400 pounds and my highest weight was 450, and I was soooo far beyond ready to get this weight off and actually move on with my life, asap. Now at over 13 months out, I'm down almost 200 since surgery and over 250 overall, and I've never been happier or healthier. I also can eat pretty much anything I want (had a bite of my friend's birthday cake yesterday and accounted for those calories) while still not even really desiring sweets/pop/etc. My blood work is perfect, I went from a size 34 to a size 10/12 and I'm pretty damn happy with my life. I also would do it over again a million times. p.s. - never had any dumping or malabsorption issues, most likely because I followed the plan PERFECTLY for like the first year. Now I'm at the point where I can occasionally treat myself while still generally eating really healthfully, and this was my goal all along: to be happy and healthy and actually be able to have a healthy relationship with food. Worth it beyond belief!

I stall or gain a few pounds of water weight every single month during my period, and I've still lost nearly 200 pounds since surgery. You'll get there, try not to stress about it! I know how hard that can be, trust me lol.

The plan doesn't exist just for weightloss, especially at this early stage. You can easily kill yourself or destroy your new stomach while still losing weight. The plan exists to prevent serious health complications and/or death. The nerves in your stomach have been severed and will not reconnect for quite some time. As such, you simply won't feel when you are full but you very well may be stuffing your stomach to the point of extreme danger. The little keyhole incisions on your abdomen may not look like much and may not hurt much anymore, but I implore you to look at pictures or video of what is done to your stomach during this surgery; there is now a HUGE line of staples holding your fragile, tiny stomach together. Eating solid foods before it's time is just playing with fire, as you're basically rubbing solid food against a giant wound and risking getting pieces of this food stuck in the staples or incision, which can then get infected and kill you. Or maybe you will rip your new stomach open and leak food and other stuff into your abdominal cavity... which can also kill you. You're not only eating solid foods (and one of the most damaging and dense solid foods: meat protein) before you're supposed to, but you're eating to excess because you can't feel that full feeling yet. Seeking that full feeling is what got us here in the first place. That fact is, if you're always going to measure your eating habits by whether you feel full or not, you're quickly going to completely sabotage yourself. It's imperative, now more than ever, to measure exactly how much you will be eating and the exact foods you should be eating and do not exceed that. Also, just for a bit of reference, I'm over a year out (passed up the 13 month mark a week ago) and I can't eat two entire scrambled eggs in one sitting. My advice would be to proceed with extreme caution. You're not only putting your own life and future health at risk, but you're also in danger of becoming one of those scary statistic of failure and/or death after surgery simply via your own habits, which hurts everyone in the end. You've gone through all this work and come this far, why risk failure now? I wish you the best of luck and health moving forward.

moisturizing wipies! I had lavender wipies. They were SO comforting and made me feel a thousand times better.

So here's the thing. High amounts of fat can cause dumping much like high amounts of sugar can; after surgery, we don't make the enzymes to break fats down, so they can get dumped, much the same way sugar would. However, also like sugar, different people are able to tolerate different amounts of fats. And unlike sugar, there are a ton of benefits to eating healthy amounts of animal fats, and definite drawbacks to not eating them. I spent months eating low fat and nonfat everything after surgery, and after a while I realized my extreme brainfog wasn't due to not getting enough calories or water (as I was getting enough of both, especially for my low activity level while I healed from knee surgery), but due to lack of fat! Your brain NEEDS fat to function, and your body needs good fats for a whole host of other important digestive and regenerative reasons. Once I started drinking whole fat milk, eating whole eggs, whole fat cottage cheese, etc, I felt a million times better. It took me a while to find the kinds and amounts that worked for me without making my stomach feel uncomfortable, but after figuring out what worked best for me, everything was great. I've lost almost 200 pounds since surgery, so I'm thinking eating whole fat foods doesn't impede weight loss. I'm betting the whole "nonfat craze" thing is because there are many bariatric patients who simply can't tolerate the fat, especially in the beginning, and because unfortunately many people lack the knowledge to distinguish between HEALTHY fats in HEALTHY amounts vs. oil fats and the like, so it makes sense to just advise low or nonfat across the board for bariatric patients. I hope this helped! I put a lot of effort into talking to professionals to understand this matter because I had similar issues with my close-minded nut, and I disagreed with her from the beginning. Maybe low and non fat works for some people and is more safe in terms of preventing bingeing/cravings for some people but no two people are exactly the same, and you have to do what works for you and makes you the most healthy and functional. I'm off to eat my whole eggs and avocado with cheddar.

Mine was My Chemical Romance! It was about a decade ago, and I was also a freshman in highschool. My favorite band, with my two best friends. It was a really freaking awesome experience.

YEEEES. Thank you! Very much appreciated! Can't wait to try the blueberry muffin.

I just attended a support group meeting about vitamins/supplements. They had several suggestions, but their favorite one (also one they are FINALLY carrying in the hospital pharmacy) is Celebrate cheweables. I actually love this brand and find them to be the least gross, and it's a pretty good value, especially considering they are formulated specifically for bariatric patients. Forest berry is my favorite flavor.

Hello! I'm a little over 13 months post op and I drink a shake every morning for Breakfast, sometimes over a period of hours. Then I normally have 2 more full meals, but I eat them in increments throughout the day. So I basically eat three decent meals, but over the whole day in spaced out into several little meals. It feels like I'm snacking, and since I'm still prioritizing Protein, it keeps me full for the entire day. And in between there, I'm drinking Water. Hope this helps!

Hello everyone! I just had to share this enormous milestone with you all. I am lucky enough to be able to ring in the new year with more hope and joy than I've felt in a long time. Before my surgery mid-August, I had a hard time believing I would lose anything at all, let alone be where I am today. I've met or surpassed all my goals, and when I woke up this morning, I was happily shocked to see that I was FINALLY into the 200s. This is a place I have not been in over a decade. I can't tell you how incredibly happy and proud I am, and just how lucky I am to have this chance to take back my life. Thank you, everyone, for always being supportive and inspirational. I hope your 2016 is absolutely kickass! The before pic is at my highest ever weight, 442, and the current is this evening at 299!

@@Tanette I've lost another hundred pounds since then! Thank you.

solitude

well, let me know when you start this business, because I'll be the first member to sign up!

I don't know if you've seen Friends but you and me are Hand Twins! Seriously. Our hands look EXACTLY the same. XD On a serious note, you're doing so well and you'll get where you want to be. When I'm stalled or struggling, I try to remember what it felt like to be over 400 pounds and how different and amazing I feel now. It can be hard for us to look at the big picture while we struggle day by day to move forward. Sometimes during those day to day struggles we can completely forget just how far we've come and the huge successes we have already had. Hang in there! You WILL get there!

I am a little ashamed to say that I have been on both sides of this. When I was in her position, it was never a matter of wanting control or wanting to string someone along, but it was pretty much entirely about HUGE insecurity and the super attractive prospect of having someone (even someone you never actually plan on being with) that likes/loves you, finds you attractive, etc. At the time, I was young and very insecure, and it wasn't until I grew up that I realized how horribly unfair I was being with this behavior. All I could think about at the time was how I hated myself and felt no one around me valued me or cared about me, so behaving this way even with no intentions of following through made me feel wanted and special. I never actually planned on being with this person, even though he was crazy about me, but I had many of the same behaviors she has been exhibiting: constant texting, flirting, suggestive pictures/messages, etc. I liked knowing that I was only making him want me more and more because it made me feel desirable. You know her, and if you say that she is a genuinely good person, I believe you. I know I am not a bad person but I definitely did some harmful things during a time of great insecurity, doubt, and low self-esteem. Based on her history and situation with her orientation and the judgement and hiding she's doing, plus her own judgement and guilt about herself, I'm better she's doing the same thing I was doing. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I would do in this situation having experienced it from multiple sides: I would get out now. I know you love this woman and have a history with her and feel close to her. These are all things that are precious and hard to come by. But in the end, until she is willing to understand why she is doing this and admit to herself the underlying causes and actually WORK ON those things, nothing will change here, and you're only enabling her destructive habits. Since she's in the kind of situation where it seems she may never actually look at herself in the mirror and say "okay. I'm gay. And that's okay!" this situation is never even going to begin to change. Even if she were to do that, she would then need to do a ton of introspection and soul searching, and actually make real, concrete changes in her life. Not saying it's not possible (I did it) but it certainly is incredibly hard, and it has to start with a very painful, realistic look at yourself and desire to understand why you're doing this. Most people simply can't or won't do it. Maybe try to talk to her, but be prepared for denial, defensiveness, hurt, and anger. That's all I would have felt before I actually grew up and evolved. Also, just a side note, this guy that I was doing this to? We didn't speak for a couple years, and then we became friends again, had a looong, honest talk, and we now actually have a healthy friendship. It IS possible to reconstruct a relationship after events like this, but only if she's willing to evolve, and it sounds like she is not. I'm sorry you're in this situation because as I said in the beginning, I have been on the other side of this too, and there are few things more painful than having your heart's desire dangled in front of you and knowing, deep down, that it is not going to happen and shouldn't happen, no matter how much you love her, how much you connect. Some actions can never be taken back. She's betrayed you in more ways than one, and no matter how sweet she is or how much she changes, that betrayal happened and it can never be taken back. I may be reading into all of your words too much, but it seems to me that you already know these things and you know how this is going to end, but you love her and are trying to convince yourself things could magically get better. Unless you can turn back time and control the minds and actions of others, you're going to have to accept the things that have happened and accept the reality of who she is and what she has been doing to you for YEARS. No person who loves you would do this to you. I had to learn that the hard way. Whatever happens from here out, I truly only wish for the best for you. This is a painful and difficult place to be in. It's like having a thorn in your heart that constantly aches and poisons you, but you don't want to remove it because then you'll have a big hole in your heart. Believe me when I tell you that the hole will heal, and someday you'll look back and wonder why you kept the thorn in so very, very long. Hang in there. My inbox is always open if I can ever help you. <3

@@Sajijoma I'll be 13 months post op in 5 days. I was 450 at my highest, 387 on the day of surgery, 203 currently.

amazing! And I was the same size as you before and the same size as you now!