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@@SlimJill That's really encouraging to hear! Was your sugar addiction a big factor in which surgery you chose? Thank you for sharing!

Hi everyone! I'm pre-surgery and I have a major sugar problem that I'm trying to get under control. I see it as probably my biggest hurdle in conquering my obesity. Would any of you post-surgery people please share your stories about slaying the sugar dragon? How did surgery help you? Did the cravings come back? If so, when and were they as strong as before surgery? Do you eat sugar in moderation now or have you just never picked it back up again? Thank you for any insight you can share!

I'm also trying to keep things mostly quiet for the same reason. Only three people really close to me are getting the full scoop. My boss is getting a slightly filtered version. With people at work, who will naturally be curious, wondering if I'm okay and such, I'm kind of keeping things an open secret. I'm basically trying to put out the vibe that if you want to come up and say good luck and not pry or something like that, it's okay. But I have a zero tolerance policy for negative/inappropriate comments or questions. So far I've really only had one person I've had to shut down, my sister, who has expressed bigoted views toward overweight people for years. I basically told her thanks but no thanks for the unsolicited advice.

@ Thank you for the info. Wishing you the best of luck with your bypass! I know that must be really tough, so I'm rooting for you!

Thank you everyone for your comments! It helps to hear different perspectives.

@@MichiganChic Congratulations on your success with the sleeve! I don't know if you felt this way in your pre-surgery days, but I feel like I'm addicted to sweets. Would you mind sharing how you got over your sweet tooth? Did the intense cravings ever come back? If they did, how did you deal? Do you ever eat sweets in moderation or have you just never picked it up again?

@ I'm planning on getting pregnant maybe two years or more out from my surgery. May I ask if your post-pregnancy complications were something common in sleeve patients? I'm wondering if there's something here I should consider?

When I visited my surgeon, he said I am a great candidate for either surgery. He said my medical history doesn't sway things one way or the other. I don't have diabetes or any other comorbidities. Even after researching both to death, I can't seem to make my mind. I like that the bypass has been around longer and is well-studied. I like that the sleeve requires less realignment and seems to carry a little less risk. I've wondered if having the bypass and risk of dumping syndrome would help because I have a real sweet tooth. I understand both induce important hormonal changes, but I can't judge from the information I've gathered which set of hormonal changes will benefit me the most. Anyone else have this much trouble choosing? What factors swayed you one way or the other?

Oops! Had trouble posting and accidentally posted three times! Forgive me, I'm new to the forum.

I'm really sorry to hear about this! When I began considering surgery, I was concerned about telling my family cause a lot of them are kind of nutty and not very supportive generally. My mom is an alcoholic, my sister has expressed bigoted views toward overweight people for years, etc. The person I'm closed to and really trust is my dad. He also happens to be a surgeon. I value his opinion on medical topics, so I talked to him first and asked him to keep things between us at first. He totally gets the whole WLS thing and told me he's behind me 100 percent. Months later, he actually agreed to mention it to my other family members first. I asked him to let them know if they made negative comments that they will not sway my decision one bit and I don't want to hear them. I have a zero tolerance policy for inappropriate negative comments. So my dad told them and I haven't heard anything negative from anyone but my sister and I shut that down so fast. I'm not walking around with a chip on my shoulder and I'm more than happy to answer questions or field genuine, politely expressed concerns from important people in my life. But with inappropriate comments from anyone, I politely tell them I'm not interested in talking and exit the conversation. I've only had to do this twice. Most people have been great! I'm lucky to have my dad, my best friend and my boyfriend as my greatest cheerleaders in this.

I'm really sorry to hear about this! When I began considering surgery, I was concerned about telling my family cause a lot of them are kind of nutty and not very supportive generally. My mom is an alcoholic, my sister has expressed bigoted views toward overweight people for years, etc. The person I'm closed to and really trust is my dad. He also happens to be a surgeon. I value his opinion on medical topics, so I talked to him first and asked him to keep things between us at first. He totally gets the whole WLS thing and told me he's behind me 100 percent. Months later, he actually agreed to mention it to my other family members first. I asked him to let them know if they made negative comments that they will not sway my decision one bit and I don't want to hear them. I have a zero tolerance policy for inappropriate negative comments. So my dad told them and I haven't heard anything negative from anyone but my sister and I shut that down so fast. I'm not walking around with a chip on my shoulder and I'm more than happy to answer questions or field genuine, politely expressed concerns from important people in my life. But with inappropriate comments from anyone, I politely tell them I'm not interested in talking and exit the conversation. I've only had to do this twice. Most people have been great! I'm lucky to have my dad, my best friend and my boyfriend as my greatest cheerleaders in this.

I'm really sorry to hear about this! When I began considering surgery, I was concerned about telling my family cause a lot of them are kind of nutty and not very supportive generally. My mom is an alcoholic, my sister has expressed bigoted views toward overweight people for years, etc. The person I'm closed to and really trust is my dad. He also happens to be a surgeon. I value his opinion on medical topics, so I talked to him first and asked him to keep things between us at first. He totally gets the whole WLS thing and told me he's behind me 100 percent. Months later, he actually agreed to mention it to my other family members first. I asked him to let them know if they made negative comments that they will not sway my decision one bit and I don't want to hear them. I have a zero tolerance policy for inappropriate negative comments. So my dad told them and I haven't heard anything negative from anyone but my sister and I shut that down so fast. I'm not walking around with a chip on my shoulder and I'm more than happy to answer questions or field genuine, politely expressed concerns from important people in my life. But with inappropriate comments from anyone, I politely tell them I'm not interested in talking and exit the conversation. I've only had to do this twice. Most people have been great! I'm lucky to have my dad, my best friend and my boyfriend as my greatest cheerleaders in this.

Thanks so much for the great tips, you guys! I'm really glad I found this online community for support!

Good for you! That's great! I'm Megan, btw. I found out on Thursday that my insurance company approved my surgery. Most likely having the RNY bypass, though the gastric sleeve is still in the back of my mind as an option. I'm meeting with my surgeon soon to set a date. Have you found much support in the Richmond area?

@@Daveo Woohoo! Congratulations! Looking forward to joining you.

Hi everyone! My insurance company just authorized my surgery and I will be meeting with my surgeon soon to set a date. One of the things I'm really wondering about is what it's like to be in the hospital. I've never had surgery before and I've never stayed in the hospital overnight. My surgeon says I will likely be in the hospital for two nights. I'm hoping you veterans can share some info and tips! What do you wish you'd known before you went in? What did you bring with you? Did it get boring? Did you want visitors and to watch Netflix and stuff or were you more in pain and sleeping a lot? If you were at an academic medical center, were there things you wanted the attending to do vs. a resident? Anything you can tell me will be helpful! Thanks so much in advance! ~megan

I'm in Charlottesville and having my surgery at UVA. Anyone else?

Hi there! I'm in Charlottesville, so not too far away.

You've touched on a definite worry I have about surgery too! I do already have a boyfriend who loves me no matter what my weight is and trust me, I don't take that for granted. I have a sister who has made some pretty awful bigoted comments to me in the past. Several years ago when I was job hunting, she told me no one would hire me because I was overweight (I've made four vertical moves in my career since then). She's also tried to have a few "interventions" with and given me all kinds of unsolicited advice. I worry a little about what she and people in my life who are like her will say after I lose weight. I'm still going to be the same person! I think you coworker's comment was pretty rude, btw, though I know I'm hearing it out of context. Unless I could tell the comment was harmless, I'd want to say yeah, but you'll still be an asshole so it won't work.

Catwoman7 just helped me remember something! My surgeon also said that bariatric surgery is about as safe as many other types of surgeries that are comparable in scope. That actually says a lot because the patient population having other surgeries is on average much healthier than the patient populations for bariatric surgery. We're the high risk "outliers" among patients having other surgeries. Still, talk with your surgeon about his or her program's outcomes if that will help you feel more at ease!

Other commenters are definitely right that this is a decision you have to make for yourself. Only you can know what's really right for you! I have a few ideas that I hope might help you. But if they don't, just ignore them!

It sounds like your weight is affecting your quality of life in a serious way (something I absolutely understand!). Be kind to yourself and remember you're a worthy individual with or without excess weight! Also remember, that if this is a tool you think can help you, you should allow yourself to pursue it. You deserve it! As you decide, information will definitely be your friend. Talk to your doctor about your health concerns and how losing weight will affect your individual health (considering your personal medical conditions and such). Also talk to a bariatric surgeon about how surgery works, the risks, the benefits, etc.

I remember something my surgeon said that really helped me. He said research shows that people who quality for surgery (based on BMI) have a 2 percent chance of losing the weight and keeping it off long-term without surgery. With surgery, those same people have a 50 percent chance or higher. That really opened my eyes. It helped quiet my inner critic (This "I'm a failure because I can't do it without surgery" thinking is total crap.) and also really showed me the benefit of surgery for someone in my situation. The surgeon also said being young (32) and relatively healthy otherwise is in my favor. Maybe you can talk to your doctor and potential surgeon about whether that's the case for you too.

Additionally, I feel really good at the clinic and surgeon doing my surgery. I'm going to an academic medical center whose program and surgeon have outcomes above the national average and are well-respected. I say that to say that researching the clinic/surgeon where you're thinking of having your surgery might help.

Also, I have a friend who had a gastric bypass about 10 years ago. She helped me realize I'm not never going to be able to enjoy food again. Things will be different 2 years out than they are a month out and so forth.

Re: your daughter, I was overweight as a child just like her. I was picked on and it was hard. However, I can tell you from personal experience that the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do for her is make sure she doesn't get the message that she's only a worthy individual if she's not overweight. Do whatever you can to help her build a healthy self-esteem. That will do a lot to set her up for a healthy life. Pair that with the basics, like we eat these kinds of foods because they provide really good nourishment for our bodies and look, they taste so good! And we enjoy physical activity because it's good for our hearts and lungs, it helps us build strong muscles and bones, and it relieves stress and releases good hormones. NOT because we have to look a certain way or we're not worthy.

Good luck!