KeepCalm

I've never been good about being on a date. I'm deaf/hard of hearing and it makes social interaction difficult sometimes. Especially if the person I'm with doesn't really understand how to act (normal btw). I'm kinda socially inept, I guess you could say.

Point of this - I've been asked to go out for a beer with this older gentleman (he owns the used tire shop across the street from my house) I've never been out with someone just as friends unless they are family. Roommate and I don't go out socially ever - mostly because he's to afraid someone will think we're together.

I don't know how to act. I have the tendency to be too nice and some guys think I'm interested in them (and yes, I know that sounds conceited, but true) I've had way to many guys get mad at me after they figure out I'm not into them at all...

I need advice on how to just go out and have a beer or two and not feel like I'm misleading anyone because I'm not interested in this gentleman. He's older than me by about 20 years probably, and because of past history - I don't do the older guy thing. I just... don't know how to interact with ppl I don't know.

Yes, I do it alright on here - because I can read my words and 'hear' aka read y'alls - so I don't miss out on what your saying. This is already making me edgy and he hasn't even called to see if I wanna go get a beer or not yet.

I can't even talk about this with my mom because she just goes Well then your going to be alone the rest of your life. cause she gets mad because what she did/does isn't good enough for me.

I tend to like guys that are younger then me or my age group (sometimes) anyone to much older then I - I tend to treat them like a father figure if that makes sense. even if they are only 10 - 15 years older.

@@LisaMergs @@Unhappysleever - Thanks y'all... I'm not even sure what to say - cause I know this cycle and I know how it goes. Just not sure how I let myself get wrapped up in it again.

I started over yesterday, no more grabbing food from second job that I know I shouldn't be eating. Took my tablet with me to work, so I could keep my mind busy with school work while waiting for a delivery.

Full time job is a lil more difficult cause I sit at a desk about 85% of the time. That's usually when I'm on here. I'm working on it, bought beef Jerky and I bring my lunch usually - and cream of wheat or grits for Breakfast is usually all I can tolerate - not a big Breakfast eater. Cofffffeeeeeeeee! lol, Tonight I go to get more Protein since I'm off from second job.

One day at a time.

Should be easy for me - didn't buy any candy for trick'r treaters cause I won't be home - I'll be working lol delivering pizzas for PJs, which is gonna be busy because Texan's won last night AND its all Hallow's Eve.

Roommate woulda just ate the whole bag anyhow if I had bought some - and well he's not exactly the passing out candy kinda guy *shrugs*

@ I bet - being deaf... if I lost any of my peripheral vision... it would probably drive me... crazier? I'm glad its getting better for her and hope it continues to do so.

Totally have your back and if you need a partner - lemme know, I need help lately and I'm only 4 months out :/ Roommate is getting harsh to live with again, and I'm kinda going why bother... but I know why I bother - its just pushing through his verbal bs is getting harder lately...

@ I'm sorry to hear about your wife - I hope everything worked out.

I cooked for my family since about my 4th day home from the hospital and its definitely a test of self control! I didn't always eat with them though, sometimes I would cook then go do something else while they ate, once I was allowed solid food again I eat the non-carby, Protein items.... My kids are used to it now they just say "oh you can't have it, huh" lol

Lol, my granddaughter says the samething. Grandma, you cant have it.....lol but ive heard so many different stories between this group and in person at our group from the drs office anything off track, i feel is going to stretch my new stomach. If i could only get around this pain if i eat anything over 4 baby spoonfuls, i could probably get in more calories and get my Proteins in. But because of the pain i cant. Anyone else?

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I wish I had pain... but I do know when I'm full - so I guess that will do.

I think @@KristenLe may have been right about the sleeping causing most of my pain because it seems to be gone now except the slight pain I have when I reach up for something and have to bend back a lil to bring it down. Feels like my spine is literally bending L shaped. I know its not my gallbladder - had that out in 2008, kidney's I'm pretty sure its not because its not low on my back its in the middle middle..? its just.. more annoying then painful I guess.

and maybe starting back on strength training would help it. I know where I'm going tomorrow after work

I'm not even sure where to ask this, sooo...

Has anyone else noticed having mid-back hurts as you lose weight??? I've never had back problems before, but now....

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@@bayougirlmrsc I was just about to ask that - because I use the depo shot and I tend to spot the brown stuff for about a month off and on right before my next shot since surgery.

and right after (about a week or so) I was spotting the brown stuff for about 6 weeks. I have not had a problem with dryness though...

I'm trying to figure out how to post the snip shots I took of my open enrollment going on now - increases on a bit.

Currently

PPO 80 - 70.00

Dental - 16.90

Vision - 7.10

Flex - 212.50 (btw this is going down - went this high because of WLS)

Life - 13.72

Total monthly - 320.22

Deduct - 550

Out of pocket in-network - 2500

New Plan

PPO 80 - 80.00

Dental - 16.90

Vision - 7.10

Flex - 58.34 - might go lower, trying to adjust for the fact that I still have about 700 left in my current to use up by March 15th.

Life - 19.32 - cause I'm getting older

Total Monthly - 181.66

Deduct - 600

OoP in network - 2600

I'm not liking it, but at least I have it I guess... between insurance and taxes - I feel like I'm bringing home the same as I was before I had to pay for insurance - lower paying jobs. I just have better benefits and I pay for them.

@@Tierra T Tij - I'm not 100% on this, but I don't think they can refuse you a referral unless you no longer have insurance that they take. If they don't take your insurance that makes sense. If your current insurance is one they take and they are refusing your request for a new referral for new/different insurance - I don't know what you've done at this point, but I'd get a new doctor or contact your insurance to let them know what's going on. I'd go ballistic on my Primary staff if that happened to me - but he's really all for the surgery, so he'd give me 50 referrals if I needed it, luckily I didn't.

I'd go with you - but we're kinda far from each other... even though mexico borders both of our states We're the same height and I weighed about 260 when I decided on the sleeve.

I've noted my roommate trying really hard lately to be a lot nicer to me...

I got the finger from my baybe brat last night because I mentioned my weight and she's gained weight... and we both almost made my middle brat cry cause she's feeling like she's the heaviest now instead of me... and she doesn't know how to deal with it.

And I don't know how to help her... She did well when her boyfriend and her were going to the gym all the time, but then they stopped. I think she'll be alright now that she has a job again - and is more active.

I've always been the heaviest in my family after my dad - and I think even my mom is feeling a lil eh about it... because now even her clothes are to big for me :/ I guess the big notice will be if I go on the cruise next year with some friends who haven't seen me in about 3 - 4 years... We'll see what happens then

I'm honestly rather open about my WLS - both of them. After the first disclosure - I know who to talk to and who not to about it and that's it. If ppl are paying that much attention to what my water bottle says or doesn't say - They're just being nebby and I really don't have time for nebbiness. or the patience for it either. I have weight to lose! oh and classes to pass

Water, coffee, tea, Water, tea, water, oh and more water...

occasionally I slip up and steal a like 1/12th of a cup from work of pepsi... mostly for the flavor since I swirl it around until no carbonation. In no way am I encouraging this btw... just admitting it.

but mostly... water... tea... and coffee, oh and more water... which reminds me I need to get someone to change the water jug thingy to put on a new one.

I'm feeling really good about that - and I didn't think of it like that I have lost almost 100lbs since I started this journey 8 years ago... lost and gained, but even when I gained some back I didn't go back to what I was. Now I just want to continue losing with my new sleeve. I really miss playing basketball lol.

I miss climbing trees... I used to climb all the time to escape reality of family life. Then I found the computer and internet.

AND I miss playing basketball! - I can't wait to play basketball again with the ruggies

I'm just lurking and reading - don't mind me!

@@LipstickLady - my roommate brought home popcorn... and not just any popcorn, buttered hull less! *sighs* I only had one piece and honestly... not as good as I remember, and I'm good - I still have a bag of unpopped popcorn sitting in my desk drawer at work... since before surgery - and I haven't touched it!

*goes back to lurking and reading*

I missed the Swedish fish post apparently

Am I the only one on the shot?! I'm not having any side effects from it that I can tell, except I do have a light discharge kinda period when it gets close to time for me to get another shot. Other then that It seems to be working, although I don't know how well its protecting me - since I uh haven't had sex since before my surgery cause I kinda cut off my um boytoy - he was getting too possessive and not willing to understand why I was living with a male roommate, and kept complaining for days that I didn't need the surgery, I could do it on my own.

I had another 'friend' but I kinda been ignoring him too cause I'm just not feeling it since surgery either.

I feel like I should step in, but I'm afraid there might be dog poo somewhere.

but uh could y'all both drop this, please, and not derail this post into a flaming war. You both have been rather helpful in your comments except for that brief stint. I've just ignored the crap and go to the next one, but y'all are making this thread about you now and gonna carry it out for pages

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You are name calling and being negative. Learn how to carry on an adult conversation instead of becoming ratchet. This forum isnt for you if you continue down that path.

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and you really have no call to say who this forum is for or not for. Everyone talks differently, the words may look the same - but with so many different meanings.

I didn't see the wet blanket comment - don't really care about it, but for you to point it out and make a HUGE deal over it - makes me think of a drama queen... just... stop. I like that we can have conversations here without everyone getting butthurt over every little comment. I quit coming for awhile because everyone was getting upset over everything.

Not getting butthurt over every little comment and not making a HUGE deal outta it, is being an adult.

all of that aside - I still hate shopping.

POSTED TWICE?

I've been doing the shot.

I definitely miss my boobs and butt. That thing used to be cornbread fed and now it's flat and sad. I keep teasing my husband about buying some booty pops ( underwear with butt pads to make you look like Nikki Minaj) at the beauty supply store. I'm still paying off my surgery, but as soon that's done, I'm buying some new boobs! As weird as it sounds, I miss the bravado my large body gave me. Weighing in the same as most heavyweight boxers gave me a certain confidence in the ability to defend myself. I thought nothing of walking to my car after last call and would joke that I could hold my own against any man. At 5'2" and 147, I'm now pretty petite and would more than likely get my a$& handed to me in a fight....

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@@losergrl75 That is something else I'm probably going to miss being able to hold my own by using my weight to my advantage, but I look at it this way - now I'll be able to do kickboxing and not worry about falling on my butt!

Honestly... knowing what size clothes I wear. I'm still losing and all that. I hate, hate going shopping, and I don't think its just because I'm bigger. I think it more has to do with spending money on myself, I rarely do it. ANYHOW... I've bought a few things online... picked the size that I'm in according to what I bought last which wear a pair of comfy gym/sleep pant. I got a 3x the first time and they were falling off so I got a 1x and they fit - and that was before surgery... now the 1x is falling off, but I think those things are running big - so, I guess I'm going to have to get some extra money put aside so my sister will go shopping with me just to find out what size I'm in!

A good example is this... I REALLY want to buy this dress, but I have no idea which size to pick and I think their stuff runs small

http://www.sammydress.com/product3052592.html