2twinkle

I got to thinking, now that I was not spending all those precious moments eating, how would I fill-in my dash? Do you know what I mean by the dash? It's that short line that will appear on my tombstone and sums up my life. And along that dash are the many moments in time that make up my life. What would I do to make this life, my life, a life that is worth living?



Years ago I came to the realization that my life is the dash between the date I was born and the date I die. Do you know what I mean by the dash? It's that short line that will appear on my tombstone and sums up my life(span): 1964 - 21XX (yes, I’ve set my intention to live long).

And along that dash are the many moments in time that make up my life. So, I got to thinking, now that I was not spending all those precious moments eating, how would I fill-in my dash? What would I do to make this life, my life, a life that is worth living?

And so, I acknowledged my gratitude to G-d, my healthcare providers, my coaches and mentors, myself, and those who joined me on this journey of lifetime weight loss and obesity management. I became able to live my life fully, filling my dash with moments -- each one precious in its own right -- and making a difference in my relationships, my community, my organization, and society.

How did I do this? Well, with my relationships I learned to put the past in the past, to stop holding resentments in the present time from things that happened a long time ago and which I could do nothing to change. I found that I was being held a prisoner by my past because I kept putting it in the present time. In this way, I was not able to move forward. So I made a conscious decision to create every moment... I chose to be who I am with someone, not based on what happened in the past, but on who I want to be in that moment, which is usually a delicious and loving relationship.

To make a difference in my community, I volunteered. As a member of the Shade Tree Commission in my town, I was able to get many street trees planted in my community, and in my neighborhood, and even on the street that I live on. This improved the beauty of our neighborhood and thereby increased home values, and also improved energy efficiency by way of reducing heating and cooling costs for homes. I also worked with the mayor to get three street lights installed on my block so as to improve safety and security.

In my organization, I was a much better employee now that I was no longer miserable and hating myself and everything because I was obese. I was no longer held back by my obesity -- let's face it, there’s an unspoken discrimination of obese people in our society. Once I lost the weight, I was immediately promoted and continued to see my career soar over the many years since my weight loss surgery.

And I contributed to society by writing as an obesity health activist under the avatar My Bariatric Life so as to share my experience — please see links below this article. And in the past, I have written other blogs, and a newsletter, and have hosted a forum on an Colleen Cook’s BSCI weight loss surgery patient web site. I want others of the “formerly fat” like me to come to know for themselves what I have come to know for myself and for my life.

There are many more things I will do to fill in my dash... I have only one life -- this moment right here, right now, followed by the next precious moment. I give up the acts of the past and declare my independence from food obsession. What I am creating for myself and my future is the possibility of harmony, joy, abundance, and greater possibilities. And THAT is who I am.
How will you fill in your dash? Living larger than ever,
My Bariatric Life

Visit me on MyBariatricLife.org, Flickr, Vimeo, Twitter, YouTube, StumbleUpon, Google+
View my Borne Appétit recipe collection on Pinterest

The honeymoon period. The time period after the surgery, when the weight is coming off without much effort, and you feel like it was the best decision you ever made. The compliments are coming from everyone, you're fine with taking the supplements, the protein shakes, heck, you're even okay with losing some hair – it'll grow back, right?
But what about when you've reached “that” point? The point where the weight loss has slowed. The “head hunger” has started and, well, the “fun” has worn off. Reality sinks in that this “real life.” This is something that you need to keep up with. This is now your...gulp...”everyday” life.


The honeymoon period. The time period after the surgery, when the weight is coming off without much effort, and you feel like it was the best decision you ever made. The compliments are coming from everyone, you're fine with taking the supplements, the protein shakes, heck, you're even okay with losing some hair – it'll grow back, right?
But what about when you've reached “that” point? The point where the weight loss has slowed. The “head hunger” has started and, well, the “fun” has worn off. Reality sinks in that this “real life.” This is something that you need to keep up with. This is now your...gulp...”everyday” life.
Did you expect to have depression creep in? Or maybe creep back in? Most of us thought this surgery would correct our mood issues, thinking that losing the weight would help get rid of that which was bothering us. So what happened? Why are we sad, frustrated, mad? Why aren't we...well...happy?
A lot of this can be attributed to losing our primary coping tool to deal with depression and stress: mindless consumption of food. We may not have realized it at the time, but food was our comfort, our companion, sometimes the only thing that was there for us when nothing/nobody else was. Now, that support is no longer something we can reach for in hard times to get us through. We are physically and emotionally missing/grieving our former “companion.”
Our coping tool.
Sometimes, our best friend.
So what do we do?
First, we have to look at the physical way food was affecting us. Not just related to weight, but in our brain. Food was giving us satisfaction in a way that was “rewarding” receptors in our brain that control the chemical dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical that makes us feel good. This is the same chemical that is triggered when someone uses drugs or alcohol. Yep, scary thought, huh?
That's why we often hear about “food addiction.” We are literally “feeding” that addiction when we overeat. That's hard to accept, I know.
Second, we have to look at WHY we may be overeating. What thoughts do we have that lead us to seek food as comfort? Are they thoughts about ourselves? Are we thinking that “I'm so fat” or “I shouldn't even try” or maybe even “Why do I even bother?” Sometimes the addiction is so deep, it's hard to identify the thoughts that made the behavior start.
Then it may be more helpful to think about the feelings. What feelings direct us to start overeating? Is it anger? Boredom? Defeat? Do the words or actions of another make us feel “less than” and lead to lowered self worth, thus leading to the desire to overeat?
The concept of looking at Thoughts-Feelings-Behaviors is at the core of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a standard therapeutic method of behavioral therapists. Finding a therapist that can help us figure out the source of how these 3 things work together to lead us on the path to overeating can go a long way toward correcting the behavior. The key to CBT is retraining those thoughts to become more positive, leading to more positive feelings and behaviors.
Often, we get stuck with “ants” - Automatic Negative Thoughts – and they are hard to undo. With the assistance of a therapist that is trained in CBT, particularly one that is familiar with bariatric surgery, we can retrain our brains to think more positively about ourselves, thus leading to be less dependent on food to nurture feelings of happiness.
What kind of “ANTs” do you want to get rid of? Can you think of a chain of Thoughts-Feelings-Behaviors that you would like to change? What would you rather that chain look like instead?

Our nutrition guidelines specifically mention incorporating skim or 1 percent milk when you do have milk. This is for milk that comes from cows. We get questions from our patients about what that really means.


Milk that has no fat is also called skimmed, fat-free, non-fat or 0 percent fat. The USDA National Nutrient Database uses the terms nonfat, fat-free and skim as descriptors for milk with no fat. The fat content of the milk refers to the percentage of weight that the fat contributes to the serving size. It does not refer to the percent of calories the fat contributes. Each 8-ounce cup of milk, no matter how much fat, will have 12 grams of carbohydrate as milk sugar.
Milk sugar is also called lactose. Each 8-ounce cup of milk will also have 8 grams of protein. An 8-ounce cup of skim milk has 80 calories. Milk with 1 percent fat is also referred to as low-fat milk and has 100 calories and 2 grams fat. Milk with 2 percent fat is also referred to reduce- fat milk and has 120 calories and 5 grams fat. Whole milk is also called vitamin D milk and has 150 calories and 8 grams fat.
Most of the fat in milk is saturated, which can contribute to elevated cholesterol. Increased fat also means increased calories and a potential for dumping issues. Along with protein, milk also packs in calcium, potassium and water. There are several lactose free milks on the market if you are lactose intolerant. For those that enjoy milk, you are getting a nutrition-packed fluid. Next week’s tip will be an overview of the other milks on the market like almond and cashew milks. Stay tuned!

If you’re putting off your weight loss surgery (WLS) because you’re worried about hair loss, you’re not alone! And if you were surprised when you suddenly started to lose your hair a few months post-op, you’re not the first WLS patient to be caught off guard.


Here are a few facts on hair loss after weight loss surgery.
It’s actually a condition called “telogen effluvium,” which happens when more of your hair is in the resting stage than the growth stage, so you end up losing hair faster than it grows.
Telogen effluvium – and hair loss - can be triggered by stressful events like WLS and the WLS diet.
It’s more common after gastric bypass and gastric sleeve surgeries than after the lap-band.
Hair loss is most severe around 3 to 6 months post-op.

It’s hard to predict who will lose their hair and who won’t after WLS. Also, there’s no fail-proof protection against hair loss. But there are a lot of promising strategies that work for some WLS patients that may work for you. The best part about them is that they’re also good for weight loss.
Protein: 65 or More Grams Daily
Protein is the foundation of your post-op WLS diet. It’s a nutrient that lets your surgery wounds heal. It also helps you maintain lean muscle mass as you lose weight. And when you get enough of it, it can help reduce hair loss.
Lap-band patients need at least 65 grams of protein each day. Sleeve and bypass patients need 80 to 100 or more grams per day. Go lean with sources like tofu, chicken breast, tuna, egg whites, and non-fat yogurt and cottage cheese. If you can’t hit your needs with food, go for low-sugar protein shakes, protein powders, and protein bars.
Water: Not an Afterthought
Fluids aren’t always top on your mind when you’re worrying about your weight loss diet, but maybe they should be. When you choose calorie-free ones, they can help reduce hunger and lose more weight. Plus, water prevents dehydration and symptoms like headaches and fatigue. It also promotes healing and lets your body function - and that’s good news for your hair.
Aim for at least 64 ounces per day of calorie-free fluids, such as water, flavored waters, diet sports drinks, and broth/bouillon. Feel free to go for more, though!
Biotin and Silica: Ask Your Surgeon
Biotin and silica are essential nutrients. You can usually get enough of them from diet alone, but WLS changes that. Some people swear that biotin and silica supplements can reduce hair loss, but the science doesn’t yet support that. Talk to your doctor before taking these supplements. Biotin is usually safe even in high doses, but too much silica can be a problem.
Essential Fatty Acids: Fats Are Good!
Fats are high-calorie, and they make many foods off limits: think fried foods, creamy foods, and fatty meats. But some fats are good, and they’re the ones that you’re most likely to be deficient in after WLS. The possible results? Scaly skin and…hair loss.
You don’t need huge amounts of fats to stay healthy. You could see a difference just by getting a little more omega-3 fat in your diet. Once you’re into the mushies/pureed foods stage, you can get omega-3’s from pureed boneless salmon and canned tuna. Later, you can add walnuts and flaxseeds. If you’re not eating these foods, you might want to ask your doctor about a fish oil supplement.
The Extras
Why does hair fall out? Stress! So let’s see…what stresses have you already put on your body? There’s the stress of surgery; the stress of starving your body at least, that’s what your body thinks when you drop down to 1,000 calories a day; the stress of changing your entire lifestyle and possibly your relationships.
When you think about all the stress in life, it’s a wonder anyone has any hair left at all! So when possible, try to reduce stress however you can.
Get enough sleep.
Take time for yourself.
Exercise daily.
Laugh it off…whatever “it” is, it’s probably not worth losing your hair over!

Taking good care of yourself after WLS can help prevent hair loss, but not always. Still, you can take heart in the fact that it probably won’t last for more than a few months. And at the other end of those few months, you’ll be down several pounds. Isn’t a little hair loss worth it if the payback is to be healthy?

For a multitude of reasons, the weight loss surgery journey—mentally and physically-- is easier for some than others.
The first month or so can be understandably challenging.
I have treated hundreds of weight loss surgery patients here in New Jersey and can assure you of one fact:

It’s probably not going to be smooth sailing from day one—



like real life, there are going to be some obstacles thrown in your path.




I’d like to help you overcome some post-op issues that may come up:
Recover From Your Operation First, Then Focus on Weight Reduction
You’ve prepared for weight loss surgery for a long time and you’re eager to start shedding those pounds--right now. But first, it’s far more important to heal properly after your operation. As a result, you'll very likely lose weight faster and avoid complications which could potentially set you back.
“I’m Not Losing Enough Weight!”
That’s a common concern and one that is certainly justified! Often patients think they will never be able to overcome obesity and metabolic disease since WLS was a last-ditch effort after years of dieting didn’t work.
Keep your nutrition diary updated. Keep moving. Drink all that water every day. If you didn’t see the scale move this week, you’ll be happier next week. If not, call your bariatric doctor to take a closer look to determine what is causing this temporary setback.
Doubting Your Decision
I view the first few weeks or even months after weight loss surgery as a perfect storm for generating self-doubts about your choice to have the sleeve, gastric bypass or the lap band.
You now realize that subscribing to a lifetime commitment of changing your eating habits and lifestyle is a pretty big deal.
Additionally, you have not eaten solid foods for weeks, which can also be unnerving to some people.
These feelings are completely normal—and temporary.
You’ve undergone a big life change that’s going to take some time to get used to.
Just make a little note to carry with you that says:
1) You are fighting back against obesity-related diseases.
2) You are lengthening your lifespan.
3) You are going to enjoy a significantly improved quality of life.
4) You will look better and feel great every day.
Comparing Your Weight Loss to Others
Everyone fighting obesity is completely unique. While Bob may lose 28 pounds in the first month, Linda may lose only 15. Months down the line, the weight loss figures even out, more often than not.
Think about it. A general round number for great first-year weight loss after bariatric surgery is 100 pounds. That’s an average of 2 pounds a week, or 8 pounds a month.
If you lost 20 pounds in your first month, you’re doing fantastic! To hit 100 pounds in your first year, you won’t even lose a pound every three days.
Don’t worry if the scale doesn’t go down every single day. If you’re eating right, you’ll lose weight.
Better yet, only weigh yourself about once a week.
Take Weight Loss Surgery One Day at a Time
No matter how frustrated you may feel at times, stay positive and focus on following your bariatric team’s instructions to the letter. Continue to eat a liquid diet and then pureed foods. Use this recovery time to plan a day-to-day system to help achieve your long-term success. Learn to measure your food. Schedule specific days/times for food prep, sleep and exercise.
Should you have any pain or discomfort of any kind, call your doctor sooner rather than later. (Yes, it’s often gas, but it’s better to be safe than sorry!)
We want to hear how you’re doing, I assure you.
Weight loss surgery is a lifetime adventure. Your world is changing for the better. When you are temporarily frustrated or disappointed, move forward, look ahead. Because your future is going to be very bright (and healthy!) indeed.
(Photo Credit: Courtesy Witthaya Phonsawat via freedigitalphotos.net)