reree6898

Every individual is going to be different. Years ago I was truly addicted to fast food so for me it was eliminated from my outings because I have found that I can go to other restaurants and get better quality food that I enjoy and have the outing still with my family without opening that door to that addiction. The only one I will go to is chick filet because they have awesome grilled chicken nuggets that are so good and friendly to keeping me on track, even before surgery they were the only thing I'd eat there. At home I still make nachos or burgers or what for my family and the thing is I have control over the quality of the food. For burgers I get the very lean 97/3 ground beef and I weigh out my patty and use the quality cheese that I select and make sweet potato fries baked and not fried. I don't eat a bun anymore and I focus on eating the patty first then just a few fries and I am very satisfied and stayed on track. I have found swapping things out works for me, keeps me on track and I am very satisfied. I let myself have a treat now and then but I do try to keep it to something small at one meal and not a cheat day. The very few times I have tried anything fried it made my stomach hurt badly and to me it's just not worth it.

I have lost about 176 pounds since surgery (I am 15 months out) and I eat 6-7 times a day and have from the start of solid food at the advice of my Nut. I eat things like Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs, Jerky, etc. the high Protein almost no carb things. I still eat less then 1000 calories a day and am down to 31% body fat. But here's the thing I eat on a strict schedule. I am blessed to work in an office where I can stick to my schedule. But you could just about set your watch by the times I eat, lol. With it being on a schedule and having nothing in between its not grazing. Grazing is munching on junk all the time throughout the day in my opinion.

Am not near goal but when I had a consultation with my surgeon I shared what my goal was ease that is what I remember feeling good at. He feels I can lose more and said when I reach my goal I will want to reevaluate it. In my head I don't see it, but he is confident I can lose 15 lbs more.

So, you may just keep that in mind

I never thought I'd reevaluate my goal either but i did. I always said I'd be happy to just be under 200 pounds but my dr said he thought I'd be good at 170. So when I went below the 170 and reached 150 I reset my goal for 140.

Thank you everyone! Here are a couple of pictures of things I've made, and which I teach others to make. cherryvase01.jpg walnutd01-e1385415496264.jpg blacklocustcrotch02.jpg wychelmwing01.jpg IMG_1350.JPG IMG_1809.JPG

Wow! Those are beautiful!

Awesome! [emoji4][emoji1303]

For me I have found that when seeing obese people I have a great deal of compassion because I was 300+ pounds for the majority of my adult life and I was never a normal weight until just recently at 38 years old. I notice things that many people wouldn't pick up on for example there are certain things that people do like a way someone shifts in their chair at church or pulls on their clothes that I see and know that they are uncomfortable and unhappy because I did the same things for so long.

As for dating, I have always been attracted to the somewhat husky guys. That being said though I would want someone that can keep up with my activity level though and be able to work out and go on long bike rides etc. I would not be able to date someone who doesn't care at all about what they eat and are not active , no matter what their size is, because it would be way too easy for me to fall back into old habits. I fight against being a couch potato and fast food junkie and never want to go back to that lifestyle.

I think he probably is seeing someone by now. I'm trying to keep positive and focus on the future and a new beginning with my life. The divorce became final this week.

He claims he's not but who knows.

@@sunsetsue @@Fredbear @@KindaFamiliar Everyone knows there are 3 sides to a story..... His.. hers... and the truth.

Dub....he didn't leave her right before xmas.... he left over 5 months ago. Not that it makes it better. But, I have a hard time be leaving that there was NO signs of problems.. I bet if we were to ask him... he would tell a diff story. My husband and i separated 6 months ago and i know i told him on a number of occasions that i was not happy and that things need to change. He chose not to hear me and on the day i told him.... it hit him like a sack of rocks. He told me.... i know you told me you were unhappy, i chose not to hear you.

I still have times where im very emotional... after all Dec. 16 was our 26 year anniversary. So i do understand. Even though im the one that asked.. it is still hard to let go sometimes.

I would say to you @@reree6898 keep your chin up and keep say.... this will get better... i will prevail.

Thanks for the words of encouragement at the end of your post. I know that while no one else lives in our house and knows the "whole story" so to speak, I will say there were no signs from him that there were problems. He was telling me on Thursday how beautiful I was and how much he loves me, he spent Friday morning hanging out with our kids and joking with then then dropped them off with their sister and moved out without a word Friday afternoon.

Love this! Best of luck to you!

Thank you @@Dub

A man that would abandon his family days before Christmas.......is no man.

That was one of the most cowardly acts imaginable.

Stay strong and stay on track. I suspect in the days and months ahead you will find a sense of relief that you no longer have to carry such a loser along in your life. You will be free to redefine yourself and reach for your goals and dreams.

You will find someone way more worthy of your time than the coward who snuck away.

Be true to your kids and remain true to yourself. It will work out in your favor at some point in the future.

You are young and taking steps to assure your health and fitness.......a lifetime of fun and happiness is ahead. I toast you now with my coffee mug....here's to good riddance and a stellar future !!!!!

Thank you for your kind words. He left a few months ago but December 22 was our anniversary so it was a hard day. I am trying to remain hopeful for a bright and positive future.

Your doing so awesome!!!! [emoji106]????

• Aggiemae you are doing a GREAT job!! weight loss so far is fantastic. I will be trying your suggestion of cashew milk. Does anyone have any other drink suggestions?? something to make flavor? I miss chocolate sooo much!

Kroger has carb master chocolate milk. It is high in Protein and lower in carbs. It is really good.

Drunk or not that should never happen. I am glad you see that you are worth more then being treated like that.

You are doing awesome so far! It took me a bit to start to need new clothes but then I started skipping sizes as the weight kept falling off.

@@Babbs thanks for looking out for me. When I posted I knew I ran the risk of kickback from varying opinions and so I just haven't worried about the expressed opinions much. I just needed an outlet to vent for a minute because I don't have anywhere else to do that. You are right in that I have been hurting and sad, more so then I ever thought possible.

Have a happy new year.

@@KindaFamiliar thank you for the apology. I haven't been distressed by anything said. I haven't agreed with all that was said but I'm not one to get myself tore up by what a stranger on the internet says. Have a happy new year.

While to some people marriage may just be another "contract" or "business deal" to me, and I thought to him, marriage was a covenant that we entered into when we stood before God, our family, and friends and vowed our lives to one another. This was not something I took lightly. As I said in the original post I just needed a moment to vent. When you have 3 children with someone and a 20 year history together it is devastating to say the least for them to literally be telling you on Thursday how much they love you and how beautiful you are then on Friday they walk out without any warning.

Thank you for the words of encouragement for those that gave them.

So much name calling and uninformed judgement...

You know what?

Sometimes just up and leaving is the right thing to do...

Sometimes it's the better option...

If stuff is done, it's done..

Yep, it can hurt...

But so can dragging sh*t on for weeks/months/years..

The ONLY dodgy thing I saw (if I've understood the OP) is taking all the money from the account - that's kinda low...

But as for the rest - grieve the end of your relationship and move on...

You'll be fine..

Good luck to you...

**EDIT** - Upon re-reading the original post I saw that the husband took half the money in the account...

So I'm ok with the guy's actions...

I'm sure it wasn't a decision he made lightly...

Everyone can have their own opinion but it is never ok to walk out on a marriage and children with no explanation or warning.

When you go through your kids pile of clothes to be donated to scavenge for things you can wear before giving it all away.

Many people feel this way. Myself included. I've lost around 170 lbs since surgery and still have a hard time seeing the difference in myself most of the time. I have heard several others talk about how therapy has helped them with this issue. I am on the waiting list for a therapist with eating disorder training.

Sorry this is not really totally weight loss related but I have no real other outlet for this. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, or rather what should be my anniversary. It is a day I should be celebrating with my husband. But that joy and celebration was stolen from me by the person who promised he would never leave. Five months ago on what I thought was a normal Friday I went to work and my husband was taking our two younger kids to spend the day with their older sister. Well after he acted like everything was perfectly normal he came home from dropping off the kids and packed up everything of his from the house, he took half of the little bit of money we had and I got a text that said I'm sorry this isn't working for me anymore, I'm moving out. We had not been fighting, things had been fine or so I thought.

I try really hard to keep a happy face on for the kids but I am still grieving the loss of my marriage so much. When I first had surgery he was very supportive but it seemed as I got smaller he became more and more withdrawn. Things really felt like they shifted when I became smaller then him. He is a husky guy but has never been obese though. Thankfully I have never been really an emotional eater so through all of this I have still continued to lose weight and keep up with my goals but it is so hard.

I guess I don't really have a major point to this thread. I'm not really looking for sympathy or anything, just needed somewhere to vent for a minute. I don't have any real outlet.

I'm sorry but your "husband " is a coward! Who does that?! I believe when someone leaves you because of physical reasons (lost weight/ gained weight) that person never really loved you.

But the good side of it is you have so much to look forward to! Sometimes it takes extreme measures for us to see the true colors of people. You will overcome this.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I have no doubt that my husband did love me and in a way still does. There is no excuse for what he has done or how he has treated me but the demons he was battling simply won out sadly. Thank you for the encouragement at the end of your post. I am trying each day to overcome.

@@reree6898

That was a really crappy way for your husband to skulk away. I am very proud of you for handling it and staying on track. I could only guess how hard that would be.

Just remember, you are worth more than he was willing to give. Keep focusing on yourself! You deserve it!

Congratulations on your weight loss! You have done a great job even through all of this.

Thank you very much.

@@reree6898, that toast I mentioned? I've just poured some maple moonshine (flavored with real maple). In your honor, of course. I bought it last week at the very close by farmers' market to take to my Christmas hosts. Now I'll have to buy another for them tomorrow. Anything for you

Fyi http://www.fullmoonshine.com/home/

Thank you for thinking of me. I've been trying to make the best of the day. I have had a few moments here and there but I'll make it.

I'm really proud of you for sticking to your plan during an emotional time like this. I will say if you good and you are over 40, you pretty much have your pick of men. I'm a super model around these parts. Lol

I am still in my 30s for a couple more years. I think I am just going to keep the focus on me and my kids and not worry about a relationship for now.

@@OutsideMatchInside, LOL, I agree with you, but it's like what they say about Alaska's ratio of men to women. The odds are good -- but the goods are odd! LOL.

I have several single girlfriends in their 40s and 50s, and it's kind of a freak show out there.

This made me literally laugh out loud, the odds are good but the goods are odd!