Dub

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch I LOVE your ability to turn a phrase <3 I might stay around just for you...we can exchange salacious private messages to titillate our moderators

And now he's apparently changing the banned users names to things like Time To Grow Up and Stop Being a Child.
This is your leader, folks.
Hey Alex, how about you take your own advice?

Ah, name-calling, the last bastion of the uneducated.

If you're among those waiting to move along, you have the ability to extricate yourself from the thread and the vitriol. If you're lingering because, like those who materialize out of the ether to stare at traffic accidents, you're transfixed. You're on the horns of a dilemma. The good part is that choice is inherent.

From LipstickLady:
**I am PISSED that he implied that I was part of any backyard bullying club. Not only would I **never** do that, but I've known for a good year that he was reading PMs so if I was going to do that, it certainly wouldn't be there. I would be THRILLED if one of you posted THIS EXACT MESSAGE in that thread and say that it was from me.**
Alex, wtf? How can anyone find this place to be a 'safe space' if we're subject to outright lies being told about us? I'm completely bewildered by your unprecedented breach of normal website behavior...since when do site owners a) read private messages and then comment on the content of said PMs publicly?

I think you've painted yourself into a corner here. What I don't understand is WHY you've done it.

I have to wonder if those medical and bariatric professionals that have concerns know their patients are eating pork chops, tacos, steak, chicken, snrimp, bacon within the first 2 weeks out of surgery. I wonder if they know their patients are asking can I have this or that or when can I have this or that. I wonder if they know there are posters who tell them yes, it is ok, you will be fine or You didn't get surgery just to not enjoy the foods you like or I can tell my body is healed so I can eat what I want.
Those of us who have concerns for their health and that they have a plan from their doctor to follow and that this is a lifestyle change are tired of being told our tone was harsh. It is up to the reader to determine tone as they interpret it.
I can't even estimate how many times I have seen the words Is it on your plan? And Check with your doctor. These are supportive responses.
I am sure those medical professionals might be grateful that strangers are actually trying to help their non compliant patients. Maybe you can provide this kind of feedback to those that had concerns. I've run out of steam.

On every other forum I have ever been on in the past 20 years, private messages have been inviolate. If they were shared by one of the parties to the message, that is one thing. To have someone not party to a discussion reading it without permission smacks of intrusion which has been considered abhorrent by virtually every generation preceding ours.

I didn't know the PM's were visible, though I should have thought so. I hope those do stay deleted. Some were very personal (hence they were "private") and some downright salacious. I have one out to Dub, and I'll delete that tomorrow and stick to using PM to see if someone wants to exchange email addresses to carry on private conversations.

I haven't been on this site in about six months. But after this latest idiocy, I'm finally ready to delete my account.
Yes, Alec, as the owner and operator of this message board you can do anything you want to do with this board.
However, your posts in this thread mischaracterize the ways in which this board's culture and the value it offers WLS patients have declined for some time.
But the blockbuster is your admission (long suspected by me) that you read BP members' private messages. IMO reading members' private messages is a significant ethical violation by any message board operator. Those who choose to remain here need to understand that clearly.
These days there are so many other social media options for support of WLS patients. I urge those leaving BP to explore them all.
I expect that my and some others' opinions will soon vanish when Alex heavily edits or deletes this thread, just as he has deleted other comments and BP threads where members have expressed their opinions about BP's culture and operational policies. But I've bothered to type them anyway.
In closing, I would like to thank the many WLS patients here who contributed to my WLS success (I've lost 100 pounds and have maintained my weight loss for longer than a year). I also thank those who invited my input and who appreciated the help I offered. Help is a two-way street.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

In my previous note, I wrote that some conspiracies such as you're describing as nauseating would not be a surprise. I've not been privy to backroom messages, but have no doubt that I've seen a few results in the forums.
I respect that BP is a business and that you want and intend to continue to run it as a business to realize financial growth and a livelihood. In the process you've provided a service that clearly, given the numbers, is in demand.
That said, it is insulting for you to say that you will not delete accounts and go on to say that your decisions are not about money. Advertising revenue depends on the number of subscribers/users/members. The greater the enrollment, the greater the income. That's all well and good. If it really weren't about money, I think you'd be happy to close accounts, as doing so wouldn't cost you anything.
I repeat: I have no problem with the business practice, but I do with subterfuge.

Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood was fiction. The idea for BP was excellent. That it's grown and is still operating is excellent and surprising; many home-grown sites last a while and disappear long before the 13-year mark. The rub is the naivete or disingenuousness -- I don't know which and prefer not to speculate -- that speaks of any place where everyone will feel safe. The world doesn't work that way least of all because there will always be those who will feel safe only if they crawl back into the womb.
I do not doubt that newcomers and the seasoned have expressed dismay. The truth, nevertheless, is that "you can't please all of the people all of the time." If it were possible, the phrase would not be enclosed by quotation marks. Unsubstantiated second- and third-hand reports from ASMBS members or other non-participants have no place in the discussion.
Have you really received reports of conspiracies conjured in private? I think it's likely because anyone can sign up for BP, including those with middle-school mentalities. How many take part in such cartels?
You wrote twice (one fell out of the quotation here) that a "tiny minority" of members have menaced more tender members and once that most members are supportive, sweet, helpful -- good scouts, shall we say. That's a most impressive record. It seems that there's nothing to complain about. You've described a website that mirrors the larger world. Not bad at all.

I think we need some proof here Alex. Lipstick and Babbs weren't the problem and you know it. I'm done with this site. You should delete the accounts of people who want them deleted
Good luck making money.

@@Alex Brecher **Unfortunately, this has not been the case recently. I have heard from multiple sources that some members are uncomfortable here. They feel attacked when they post. I have heard this not only from newbie and veteran members, but also from bariatric surgeons, nurses, and psychologists who are members of ASMBS and who have heard concerns about BariatricPal from their patients.**
What a bunch of CRAP, Alex. Let me tell you what *I* heard about BP from my surgeon, his nurses and my dietitian: that it's primarily pre-ops or new post-ops sharing bad information, with a store attached to it.
The funny thing? They were right. You banning people with no warning has taken away 2 of the reasons I bothered to keep coming here. I don't need more newbs crying because they need 'support' when they're eating ribs and corn on the cob 2 weeks post-op...my IRL support group is stuffed to the gills with them. I need the people with the guts to tell them it's a bad idea.

@@xoxococojay No, I meant most of the 2+ years vets are gone

My surgeon suggested I use Milk of Magnesia for any Constipation issues in the days after surgery to relieve constipation.
Several days after surgery, though.....I had an incident like you described....thought I'd "broke it", too. It was horrible. I truly feared I'd bust the internal stitches from an umbilical hernia that was repaired when they did my sleeve. It was like passing a brick through my system.
Soon, though, I was allowed to have coffee. That certainly helped. Daily doses of the orange flavored Fiber mixed with cold Water was helpful, too.
Now....over a year later, I eat greens, kale salads, almonds and other tasty sources of fiber......and blessed morning coffee.< /p>
No issues.

Lol. Maybe it's the coffee at 8:30 sitting in Starbucks and watching hockey stream while I work that brought about my revelation...
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

My surgeon suggested I use Milk of Magnesia for any Constipation issues in the days after surgery to relieve constipation.
Several days after surgery, though.....I had an incident like you described....thought I'd "broke it", too. It was horrible. I truly feared I'd bust the internal stitches from an umbilical hernia that was repaired when they did my sleeve. It was like passing a brick through my system.
Soon, though, I was allowed to have coffee. That certainly helped. Daily doses of the orange flavored Fiber mixed with cold Water was helpful, too.
Now....over a year later, I eat greens, kale salads, almonds and other tasty sources of fiber......and blessed morning coffee.< /p>
No issues.

@sasharbinx
This is the part where you've got to fix your thinking. Your surgeon fixed your stomach, lol, but this is where it's now on you to make the changes.
It's no longer about hunger anymore...it's about eating to nourish your body as needed.
Tracking calories at this point can really, really help.
Getting on a treadmill and keying in your weight will show the calories burned. When you see how much effort it takes to burn those calories....your desire to consume them through grazing will be greatly diminished.
Discipline will be achieved.

It put a smile on face! Hard work w/ after surgery. Today walking around at our local flea market it put tears to my eyes when a local said "you are getting skinny" I am a week away from being two months out! The changes are unbelievable!  
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Well said @Odie.
There is too much butthurt around here.
This is a bariatric forum......a place where we've come....we've taken extreme measures to gain control over our health.
Some folks choose to keep their heads buried in the sand and simply want a warm blanket thrown on them. Let 'em stay there...heads buried....tide will come in and drown them at some point. I simply don't have the energy to help them any longer. Ignorance is a choice at this point. There is no way that somebody reaches the point where they reach the act of actually having wls and they don't know the basics. No way in hell. They've been briefed and they choose to ignore it.
The rest of us will do the work to reach our goals and live lean and happy. It's not always easy....but it's much easier since surgery.
I'm so tired of the childish butthurt that I see around here. Folks need to grow up and own up. Solutions have been provided if they'll simply own their actions.

I start my pureed phase tomorrow for the next two weeks.
1. My doctor said I could have a scrambled egg. Do I need to put the cooked scrambled egg in the blender?
2. I am also seeing a lot of people say they have re-fried Beans and cheese. Do I put that in the blender too?
I'm on a roll with dumb questions that have probably been answered somewhere on this forum....
3. I am assuming I will still need two Protein shakes to make sure I get all my Protein in?
4. Do I put the greek yogurt in the blender? (May be one of the stupidest questions I have ever asked)
Trying to make a daily menu before I go pick up stuff at the store. Can anyone share what a typical day in the puree phase looked like?
Thanks for the help after you stop laughing.

You look amazing thank you for sharing very inspirational, Im 4 weeks out of surgery and down 70lbs total but have been on a two week Plato very frustrating
Sent from my SM-G925T using the BariatricPal App

You are the new poster child for this procedure. That is a remarkable transformation. Heartfelt congratulations.

Well said @Odie.
There is too much butthurt around here.
This is a bariatric forum......a place where we've come....we've taken extreme measures to gain control over our health.
Some folks choose to keep their heads buried in the sand and simply want a warm blanket thrown on them. Let 'em stay there...heads buried....tide will come in and drown them at some point. I simply don't have the energy to help them any longer. Ignorance is a choice at this point. There is no way that somebody reaches the point where they reach the act of actually having wls and they don't know the basics. No way in hell. They've been briefed and they choose to ignore it.
The rest of us will do the work to reach our goals and live lean and happy. It's not always easy....but it's much easier since surgery.
I'm so tired of the childish butthurt that I see around here. Folks need to grow up and own up. Solutions have been provided if they'll simply own their actions.