VDB

Daveo, I have been married over 35 years, so am not an authority on finding a woman....I know alot about keeping a woman! However, one of my children who was alone for 20+ years and had pretty much given up on finding a partner has in fact found a permanent life partner, I just met her and she is wonderful. How did she do it? She got involved with a group of singles at a large church, even though she was not especially religious. She went to dances. She volunteered. And she found her sweetie. I expect she will marry this one.... having said this, I know that being alone can be tough, I don't mean to offer glib solutions, I know it is painful.

Dr. Meow, why is the BMI moot with apnea? Not heard of that. Thanks John

Wife and I either split a meal with her eating 3/4 of it, or I put the uneaten part of mine in a take-home box and get two more meals out of it. I am a very cheap date now.

My NUT is the best nutritionist/dietician I have ever met. She helped me with turning my head into one that is skilled at being a bariatric patient/eater. She not only gave tips, she practices what she preaches in terms of nutrition. I was dreading seeing her because all in the past were preachey snobs who did not like overweight people, and exuded distain and easy answers we have heard all of our lives. I was handed so many written diets over the years, but almost no real help. This NUT, at the Bariatric Clinic in Grand Junction CO (kay) really educated, gave recipes, did not give unrealistic advice or instructions, and was very patient with my ignorance....

I have some almost new blue jeans, 52 and 54 waist, all 32L, also some nice 22neck, about 36-38 sleeve length dress shirts, all good shape. You can have them. Tried to Craigslist them for free, but no luck. Send me a message or email to jevdb1@gmail.com. I am now in 44 or 46 waist jeans and dropping quick.

I am 3 mos post by pass and 80+ # down, my hair during this time went from fairly bushy to more fine, thinner hair. I am going to have it cut quite short, have worn it long for 45 years, but it is clearly different. I get 80-90 g of protein but may up that a bit. I just feel that hair changes are a hassle, but the health pluses are so worth it, so much important than hair....

Your reticence is understanding, this is a huge surgery, a giant step. I had to take it to live, with severe diabetes, high blood pressure, urge incontinence, severe edema, all of which are now virtually gone at the 3 mos post bypass timeframe. I had hundreds of attempts to lose the weight but slowly over the decades crept up to over 422#. I, too, used the NSAID pain killers and Tylenol is a hoax, does nothing for me. The good news is that I don't need it anymore. I have already lost 80#, and look forward to a long life. I don't mind the supplements. Having said that, I think you should be solid about why you are doing this major surgery. You seem to think you might be able to make it to health without it. Go for it if you can. In alcohol treatment, addiction counselors frequently tell people who are unsure if they are alcoholics to go ahead and drink and see if there are any negative effects...

I am in the 3 months post bypass no hunger zone, just working on the daily rhythm of water/80% protein; 20% good veges and fruit which will comprise my life time of eating. As much as I value the gift of no hunger and chance to drop lots of weight quickly, I will be glad to see hunger return. Hunger can be a friend, and helped me savor the good food I get to eat. Right now I am working on lots of variation of Protein foods, constantly trying to change it up. At 3 mos. I have learned my pouch and how much to eat. I have not had any discomfort or nausea for 9 weeks.

Way to go, it will change your life and the gas will pass...

I have lost 80# in three months post bypass. Other than some hair loss, I am noticing having less energy than normal, and am wondering if this is tied to the fast weight loss. I initially had trouble getting the Protein and Water down, but with tips from others on BP, have now nailed that routinely. For those of you who have lost a bunch of pounds rapidly, what did it do to you?

No one noticed for me until I hit 70#, but now at 80# everyone notices...strange.

Yes, Dub, you will, but you have to work at it. My nutritionist says to eat Protein 80% of every meal, which leaves 20% for a bit of low sugar veges and fruit, and almost no grains, and eat two protein Snacks a day. This gives me over 80-90 g of protein a day. Initially I had trouble getting it in, but now it is routine. I start when I get up with a homemade Protein Drink (1/2 whey, 1/2 dry milk powder, milk and Water, blended with a bit of fruit like peach or applesauce) which is 30 g. I eat soft prepared chicken, pork, but mainly white fish or salmon for other meals, also some low fat cheese. I was roughly your size, BMI over 52 originally, down 80# in three months, and swim/walk and lift weights for workout. BTW, that six months goes quick. I go through alot of clothing, but have a bunch of good jeans, from 52W/32L on down, and have more all the time...message me if you want them (free). I live rural, so jeans and T-shirts are my uniform. I have gone from 3xl shirts to XL already, almost out of 46w jeans...

Good on you PaulC, I love it when some of us just float through these complex surgeries -- skilled Docs and good attitudes, way to go PaulC!

I am one with a bypass who has no negative reaction to sweets made with white sugar. How do I know this? I had a piece of pie and no reaction. Greasy mexican food, white flour carbs, too much fruit, oatmeal, all cause negative reactions. I think DrMeow is right. My nature is to try things and find the limits of my pouch, but also to then make conscious choices to build a lifelong set of habits. Now that I am almost never hungry at 3 mos out, I have been given a gift that eliminates cravings and allows me to practice healthy eating. I know three people (friends or relatives) who have gotten bypass in past years, and have regained a majority of the weight. I asked each how they regained it. One said "Soda -- addicted to Coke"; the other said very gradual increase in amount being eaten until the pouch was back to stomach size; the other said not able to switch off white sugar, white flour etc. and go to healthy fats, grains, veges, fruit -- but the good news is that I know more people who have kept the bypass or sleeve weight off, by building good habits during this honeymoon year after surgery...

BIGBobo -- way to go, man! Huge effort, totally worth it. I am 3 months out this week, just hit 80# down. Can't beat that.

Definitely experienced some short term depression for a couple of weeks. Such a huge shift. Even though the fat was horrible for my health, it was normal, and all liquid and then soft foods was abnormal. It lifted quickly for me and has not been back...

@@drmeow, my nut recommended several teaspoons of good fat (I use olive) per day, at 3 months post, still using it....

I support what PinkDahlia said. For me, sudden change, cold turkey does not work well, but planned methodical decrease of a food item worked well. Three years ago after a heart attack, I set about eliminating the "whites"... white sugar, white flour, rice, etc. in favor of good carbs such as whole wheat flour, quinoa, etc. At the end of a year, had them 90% reduced. Now, just don't buy any of the whites and almost never eat anything with that stuff in it. Gradual works for me, cold turkey produces deprivation thinking which leads to cheating. For some, cold turkey is the way to go, though!

I chose by-pass because of it having better data for curing diabetes, which was the most likely source of early death for me.... three months out today, diabetes 90% better, high BP gone, edema gone, 75# gone.... but following these threads, people also love their sleeves, but the GERD issue is significant.....

VSGAnn2014, great list!! Inspirational! Thank you.

i aim for under 140 in the morning, less throughout the day....

I think it is important to tailor your information to fit the 8 year old, who even if precocious, does not yet have abstract reasoning, which means that the "big picture" "the why" is not perceivable. 8 year olds live in the moment, live in the reality of what they need right now. Reassure him that he will be fine, that Mom is going to be healthier which means she can be an even better Mom. Ask him what activity he wishes he could do with his mom, run, throw a ball, bike, whatever -- tell him the surgery will mean that his Mom will be able to do that with him soon. Pair these discussions with fun things, a favorite meal, a walk, a visit to family. Make him feel special that he is on the side of his Mom's health!

I was taken off it the day after surgery, also four other diabetes meds. I now have as needed insulin (Lantus) in small doses as needed, average 20 mg a day. Type 2 diabetes, so much better!

I also spent several years eliminating sugar. In 2014, we used only part of a 5 pound bag of white sugar. I also re-did some of my favorite sweet recipes, using more natural sweetners such as honey in very small amounts, and more nuts etc, almond flour and good fats. Now, 3 mos after by-pass the only sweets I have are fruits and I really don't crave sugar like I did.

I bought Vitamins, in my case bariatric branded following my NUTs recommendations. I would not buy lots of Protein drinks because some find that they can't stand them after surgery, me being one of them. I also have to take Calcium but could not stand the chewables and ended up getting calcium citrate Petites, which are big but can be swallowed. I love the EAS Protein Powder (24g per serving) I get at Target. I mix it 50-50 with powdered milk, to cut the thickness. It just makes it more drinkable.