staceymeaux

To all, it really does get better after day 3 or 4. I am surprisingly not starving. I just miss eating, which is what got me so overweight. I am done with week 1. Half way there.

Oh, thank you for replying. I would love to hear about your experience. I think my biggest fear right now is what surgery will they choose. The sleeve would definitely be my first choice. How long did it take after your second screening visit to know you were approved and actually have the surgery.

I go for my first appointment Tuesday to learn more about WLS. I have struggled with my weight since I was very young and lost my first 100 pounds when I was 14. I have been up and down ever since. I am at my highest weight ever now. I am so scared that the surgery won't work and that I will wake up just as hungry as ever and nothing will change. Did anyone else have this fear? How have you managed it?

Tomorrow I begin my journey to hopefully get approved for WLS. I work for the state of Louisiana and the process for getting approved is a little complicated. They have created a "study" through Pennington Biomedical Research. You apply to the program and go through some basic screening up front which I did 1 year ago. Once you get through this screening you are put into a lottery drawing to move to the next stage of the study. I had my first visit last week where they did the next round of medical screening. I passed this round and now begin a 2 week liquid diet (they provide the shakes). I do this for 2 weeks and go back on January 31st and if all goes well then my case will be reviewed by the surgery review panel to determine if I am eligible for surgery. The other catch to this process is that you do not get to chose which surgery, because it is a study. It will be either the lap-band, sleeve, or bypass. If you get approved and do not like the surgery path that has been chosen you can always drop out. I am excited to see what happens next. I am nervous about starting the 2 week liquid diet, but I know it is good training for once I have the surgery. Any thoughts, words of wisdom and support are welcomed.

Thank you Maria. Good luck on your journey too. This site helps so much.

As I begin this journey to get approved and hopefully have WLS I have been pondering "How did this happen?". How did I get this big? I just simply call it life. Life happened. I let my life take control of my eating, my emotions, my physical activity, everything. I just gave up and gave in. I have struggled with my weight since I was a young child, I was always the "fat girl". Luckily I had the gift of humor and a fairly good self image to be able to shrug most of it off. I won't lie, sometimes the taunting hurt, but I learned to deal with it. When I was in my eighth grade school year I had a P.E. coach that was very good to me. He would try not to embarrass me in front of the class or make me do something that he knew I could not do or would make me uncomfortable. But one day in gym class we were jumping rope. He said "Bush" come try it. Well amazingly I tried it and I liked it. I was actually pretty good at it. So after those few weeks of doing jump rope in P.E. he gave me a rope (the old beaded type) and told me to take it home and use it. He said "you will be the prettiest girl in high school". I have never forgotten those words. So my first weight loss journey began. I jumped that rope everyday rain or shine. By the time I started high school I had lost 90 pounds. People did not know what to think when they saw me. It was quite the transformation. From age 14 till about age 22 I continued to jump rope nearly everyday. I was able to maintain a weight that was healthy and manageable. Then I graduated from college and got my first job, it was very sedentary. I finally had a little more money than I had before too. I began to eat out more and got totally out of my routine and was far less active than I had been in college. My weight creeped up to 215 by the time I was 25. I got married that year and managed to maintain my weight around 215 for many years even between the births of my 3 sons. After the birth of my 3rd son I developed very bad postpartum depression. I was prescribed several medications to help control the depression and anxiety. Well the pounds began to come on, before I knew it I was 265. I had never weight that much, not even 9 months pregnant. I was mortified. So my second real significant weight loss journey began. A weight watchers group was established where I worked. I joined with quite a few others from our office. I followed the program and had the support of others too. I lost 80 pounds and I was down 185. I felt good at that weight and I liked the way I looked. I was happy. I was so proud of myself. But about a year after I lost the weight my marriage as on the rocks, my depression was at an all time high and I was just generally a basket case. I began to use food for comfort. I ate and ate and I ate for every emotion, bored, happy, sad, you name it until I reached over 300 pounds. I was really mortified. I could not believe that any human could weight that much, especially not me. What had happened? So over the next six or so years until most recently I tried all kinds of diets. I would loose 20-30 pounds and gain 30-40 back. This roller coaster really sent my depression to an all time low in 2012. I was nearly hospitalized, but found the courage to get help out patient, my medicines were changed, I had a regular counselor, and I managed to get through it. But my weight was and is still and issue. I feel like everyday that I am this overweight I am missing out on more and more. I tend to isolate myself. I am not totally depressed, I just want to do so much more with my life. So about a year ago I researched a program available to Louisiana State Employees called Heads Up!. The insurance for state employees excludes any type of bariatric surgery so this program was formed to "study" the effects of weight loss surgery to determine if eventually this exclusion would be lifted. I registered for the program in February 2014 and made it through the initial screening and my name was put into a lottery drawing. Every month I have waited for the call that I won the lottery. Well March 2nd 2015 I got the call that my name had been drawn. I really felt like I had won a million bucks! I went on March the 9th for my first appointment and they did all sorts of medical testing and a complete physical and started me on a 2 week liquid diet (I am on day 2). I go back on March 31st to submit my daily food report and have some additional testing done. If all of this looks good then my information will be submitted to the surgery review board for final approval and then I will be sent to the surgeon. Since the call on March 2nd my emotions have been all over the map. Can I really do this? Will I be the only fat person to have weight loss surgery and not lose weight? Is it worth the risk to have surgery? But I can honestly I am ready to start my new life. I am up for the challenge. I love Bariatric Pal, what a huge blessing for those considering and those having WLS. I plan to use blogging as a way to encourage myself and others as I begin this new journey in my life. Till next time.

Wow, yesterday was tough. I have known for a while that I have a problem with food. But when they take it away from you and tell you to drink only liquids you begin to realize just how bad that problem was. I really feel like I have lost my best friend. Food could comfort me and satisfy me. I am really embarrassed and shameful that I let myself get to this point where I rely on food to fill my emptiness. People say things like "it is just for 2 weeks, you can do anything for 2 weeks", well I know that, but it does not make it any easier. Most people do not understand people like me who have such terrible issues with food. They can understand an alcoholic or drug addict, but food. Just stop eating they say. And quite honestly that really is what needs to happen, I just need to stop eating. But it is so hard. I really wish I could go to sleep and wake up when the 2 weeks is over. I am really questioning whether or not to even have the surgery. If I cannot learn to deal with all of these emotions and stuff in my head then I fear the surgery is really a waste. I wish I were feeling starving on this liquid diet, then at least I could say I am just hungry. But that is not the case, I have not really been that hungry, it is just all in my head. Dang it is hard! But I am going to keep forging on and checking off each day and learning to deal with the emptiness until I conquer this demon.

I am on day 3 of the liquid diet in pre-op. I too am struggling emotionally. It really is not the hunger, I feel like I have lost my best friend. I really just don't know what to do with myself. Feeling anxious.

Thank you for sharing. I especially like your comment " There was no way it would work and I will be known as the fat guy who couldn’t lose weight with WLS". That has been my thoughts and hesitation about ever having the surgery. I am now in the pre-approval stage doing the liquid diet. So hopefully by the middle of next month I will know if I am approved for the surgery and get a surgery date.

Thank you for sharing your story. I too have many of the same conditions. I am praying that I get approved for surgery next month. I am currently on a 2 week liquid diet (day 2) as part of the process for getting approval for the surgery. I love this site, it is very helpful.

My 19 year old son sent me this text this morning. Support is critical in this journey. Feeling blessed.

Decide I have struggled with so many things during my life mostly my weight and my finances, but those two things combined have led me to some pretty dumb decisions over the course of the past thirty years. I have managed to just be complacent in my misery and poor decision making which has kept the disease of depression in full gear. I have had to do some soul searching over the past couple of weeks when I received the call that I may get to have WLS paid for by my insurance. I was literally in a lottery drawing for a year waiting to be called. My first thought was pure elation, like I had actually won the million dollar lottery. But quickly that elation changed to anxiety, fear, and depression as I began to learn more about the surgery and the process and talk to others about their experience. I had done enough research to know already that WLS was not a quick fix even though that is really what I wanted, a quick fix. But the more I learned the more I was awakened to all of the emotional baggage that I needed to let go of if the surgery would ever be a success. You see I do not eat because I am hungry, I eat because of everything else, boredom, loneliness, happiness, sadness, and every emotion in between. It was going to take hard work, just like any other diet or lifestyle change. It was only a tool, not a cure. At my first appointment in this long process, I asked a lot of questions. Just hoping that someone would say this was going to be easy, but no one did. Everyone said how much work it would be, and how strict they are about the process and following the guidelines provided by the doctors, even prior to ever having the surgery. But my nurse named Gretta told me I needed to just DECIDE that I was going to do it. She talked to me about how she was finally able to quit smoking and it just came to her one day that she needed to just decide not to do it. She has not had a cigarette in nearly 3 years. So is it really that simple. Just decide. So it seems that everywhere I have turned this past week I keep hearing the word decide, from scripture, in my devotionals, from other people. It sounds simple, so that is what I am going to do. I am DECIDING today that I want to have WLS and I am DECIDING that I will follow the rules and I am DECIDING that I will lose weight, and I am DECIDING that I want to be able to do so much more with so much less of me (physically). So I say to you, if you want to overcome obesity and change your life, just DECIDE. Let’s do this together. The bible says, “Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them so that everyone may see your progress.” 1 Timothy 4:15 It is possible to rise up, do battle with our issues, using the Lord’s strength in us, defeat them – spiritually, physically and mentally – to the glory of God. ----From Made to Crave Devotional. Some Quotes: “Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.” “Decide in your heart of hearts what really excites and challenges you and start moving your life in that direction.” “Once you’ve made the decision to move on, don’t look back. You will never find your future in the rear view mirror.” “I am NOT a product of my circumstances. I AM a product of my decisions.” “You will know you made the right decision; you feel the stress leaving your body, your mind, your life.” “Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”

I have not had surgery yet, but I am told I cannot drink out of a straw after surgery. Why is this?

Thank you all for your encouraging words and great advice. This is truly helping me process all of what is happening.

Wow! Thank you all so much for your great responses. I definitely get the picture that it is still very hard work. I am prepared for that. I love all of the suggestions and advice. I will definitely be using them. I plan to stay connected to bariatricpal through my journey. I can't wait for my appointment tomorrow.