dhrguru

Ugh...yep...I've heard it too from my own husband. I have to remind him often that I plan meals on Saturday for the entire week prior to grocery shopping. i ask for input from the whole family....I make what they want, within reason, and I eat what I can and if they are eating what i can't I eat something else. At times he complains that he wants what I am having...and I remind him "YOU picked the meal!"

We had an disagreement one night because he said all I cared about was my own weight. (as he sat stuffing his face with potato chips) I have been trying to get the entire family to eat healthier...it's a struggle, one they are willing with words to endure, but when it comes down to it, when it is time to eat it...they all want the unhealthy meals...I'm not willing to shop again, so they are stuck with it. Pure lack of willpower, IMO.

Once not long ago during an argument, he told me I was still fat, what good did the surgery do?....I told him if he EVER said that again, we would be separating. I also told him, "I won't be fat much longer, YOU are an ass...hold long will that last?" Granted, I love my husband, but I will NOT be ridiculed by him, ever!

99% of the time, he is supportive and encouraging and I couldn't be happier. The other 1% of the time, I want to smack him with a pan. What irks me is that he can eat chips, etc....beer etc...have only a Protein shake at lunch and he is down 14 lbs in one month...never exercises either. I struggle for every lost pound.

I told him finally, you are either on board or not. I don't pressure him to live my WLS life, i don't inconvenience him. I agree with you...truth is spoken in jest....if it is thought and said, I can only imagine what is NOT being said. When he gets that way, it is his problem (speaking from my situation)...I just stop sharing things with him for a while. When he asks me about it, i just say "Oh, I didn't think you cared anymore."

I so sympathize with this! I stopped sharing too.

In my case I realize I changed a dynamic that had always been there since we met. I was always obese, he was skinny when I met him. I think he always expected me to be the same, and he'd eventually get back to being slim.

Tell him you don't expect to be the only skinny one and that you looking out for them and that a starch is not needed for each meal.

from your lips to God's ear's. I can't speak another word about nutrition and health as it pertains to him. I can only keep it in prayer for him.

Can you serve the starch leftovers for a few days? Say cook 2 cups of rice and serve it plain one day, stir fry the next, spiced rice the next. That way no waste and he still will get his starch. Sounds like he is getting jealous of your weight loss and how good you look!

He did suggest serving them again, and I do at times. I use instant rices (ie- goya yellow rice, Lipton rice sides etc) because they don't care for white rice. Can't really 1/2 those.

So my husband has made two comments recently that got under my skin.

1st) I make dinner for the family. I'll eat the Protein and the veggie, but not the starch. Thats leaves lots of leftovers of rice etc, that no one ends up using after the initial meal. So it dies a slow moldy death in the fridge. So one night I skipped the starch, deciding not to add to the piles gone unused in the fridge. He comments that I've essentially said screw them since my surgery and stopped cooking complete meals. Grrr. Not true.

2nd) he made some comment about me 'trying to be the only skinny one in the house, (never mind my Kids are of normal weight) and I'm not trying to help anyone else'.

Though he was not angry and probably said both as tongue in check type comments, it irked me. I'm a firm believer that truth is often spoken in jest.

He's a grown up, he can cook and take control of his health... But I guess it's easier to shift reponsibility from himself.

@tdc-- did you use one of the Doc's Dr. Meilahn recommended? (I did-- I forget his name though) What insurance do you have?

My insurance was submitted in Thursday. Hopefully I will here something this week.

Fingers crossed! If all goes as planned when will your pre-ops diet start?

Carlie said to start the 24th. Right before Thanksgiving. But that actually gives me 16 days liquids. Why would it be so long?

That is a bit longer than usual, I wonder why. Mine was exactly 14 days.

I was hoping you'd at least be able to get through thanksgiving. The first few days a tough, but it does get easier.

@tdc-- did you use one of the Doc's Dr. Meilahn recommended? (I did-- I forget his name though) What insurance do you have?

My insurance was submitted in Thursday. Hopefully I will here something this week.

Fingers crossed! If all goes as planned when will your pre-ops diet start?

That'll be hard for others to make suggestions on since only you know your schedule (ie- work/school/kids) and what will work around your life.

It took me a 3 months to figure out a Vitamin routine and stick to it. I've never found a need to be on an eating/drinking schedule.

Experiment and see what works best for you.

Hi everyone: glad I found this group! I had my surgery on 10/30 and am currently down 15 lbs. though this is a drop in my loss bucket, I feel really encouraged. Since beginning this journey--with my first appt. with my surgeon, I've lost a total of 38 lbs. I saw another post from a woman that said she lost 24 lbs. in her 10 days post-surgery and I was like What???? Am I doing something wrong? I'm struggling getting in all the protein--too much sipping and I go back to work today. Sorry I rambled, glad to be part of the group!

Don't compare yourself to others. I like to compare weight loss to what doctors say about pregnancy, no two are the same. Weight loss results will never mirror another's, or even how you've lost weight in the past. Just keeping following what the program has outlined for you and you'll do fine!

In the beginning it's a struggle to meet goals, but before you know it it will all BE second nature.

My doc warned me that I'd be colder than ever this winter since I'm losing my fat insulation.

I decided to stay off the scale until my 1-week follow up appointment with my surgeon, since I was so full of IV fluids and stuff.

Ditto. So glad I saved myself the heartache

Outside of the typical follow up appointment I've called my surgeons office three times since surgery. One thing I like about the practice I use is the doctor and the surgical first assistant are husband and wife. I can call the wife who will pass along the info to the doctor. I call them for medical questions or concerns. I call the nutritionist for questions regarding eating etc, but haven't really needed to.

So I thought this would be an interesting topic, especially for the pre-ops. What have you learned to love since WLS?

I've learned to love:

- Apple with Peanut Butter (I never understood the pair before, but serves as a decent replacement for PB & J sandwich)

- Spaghetti w/out the noodles (I add a tablespoon of ricotta and mozzarella)

- Burger without the bun, or a sandwich without bread. (Tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers etc take their place)

- Running, never thought I'd run voluntarily but I do.

So what have you learned to love?

Sometimes I'm tempted to answer 'nope, can't say I've read about anyone ever experienced _____ (fill in the blank), are you sure you had ____ surgery?' Just to mess with folks... But I know that would lead down a very dark, bottomless rabbit hole.... So I play nice.

I used to be a huge sweet eater. I bought a cupcake the other day. Any type of cake or pie or cookie was my thing. The frosting was way too rich for my liking and I scrapped it off. (Would've done the same pre op too). The cupcake was super moist, so much so that I realized how oily it was. I don't do well with oils /fats. So I didn't enjoy it, and didn't get any urges for another (and another.)

Yup, you 'can' have it... I guess it comes down to if you want to deal with either the physical aftermath (dumping) or mental aftermath (cravings). I have no desire to try one again.

That being said I can name a laundry list of sweets I haven't attempted because I know control would go out the window. I guess cupcakes just aren't one of them.

I drove after 1 week. It was hard imo, still had lots of stomach discomfort and you use your stomach muscles when driving a lot more than I've ever have thought too

I wait 30 minutes after eating to drink. It was explained to me this is a rule for life, along with not drinking while eating.

I can't burp when I'm full, means there is no room/air left in my pouch to try to be able to produce a burp.

Hi! Changing your mind, or having a surgeon help you reconsider once you've decided makes it especially tough to realign your thinking. Kudos to your surgeon for looking at the full picture and recommending what's in your best interest.

I'm six months post op rny. I know you feel it's more invasive, but really wls in and of itself is invasive. Once you successfully get past the surgery and recuperation you'll see that the procedure is detailed but life afterwards is pretty normal. Don't get me wrong, it's an adjustment, but you have to adjust for any surgery! But I'm working at it everyday and succeeding... Surgery seems like the smaller part of the battle now.

What are your concerns specifically?

Quesadillas... but I only eat the filling. I make the tortillas for the family,

Chop up chicken breasts, season with salt/pepper. Brown in a pan- toss in a jar of you favorite salsa. (Or make you own if your up to it), Let simmer.

I dress mine up with shredded cheese, sour cream and guacamole. mmmmmm!

Super easy!

I have had a similiar experience twice before. I can pinpoint mine to when I have had too much dairy in one sitting (specifically ice cream). I do believe it might be the combo of sugar and fat for me.

It lasted 2 days and I was literally doubled over. I did not throw up nor did I get the diahrea. I was simply doubled over in pain. I took gas X hoping it would help but nothing really did.

My surgeon is thinking more along the lines of having possibly developed an internal hernia. She said this type of pain that comes and goes is a signature symptom of one, but its the type of thing they have to *see in action* to diagnose.

Considering this has happened to me twice before (this time being the worst) I'm going to make a point to see the surgeon if/when it happens again. (Hopefully it'll cooperate and happen during business hours!...)

Was never given an expectation per week/month by my group. In fact they went out of there to to stress they could not even begin to estimate anticipated weight loss since they've seen to many variables.

Last night I had some serious cramps and was sure I needed to have a BM. But nothing. But while I was straining (sorry TMI) sitting there, I got a slimy feeling in my throat like I was going to hurl, but no go there too. It all went away after about twenty minutes.

Did you get that slimy feeling anytime?

Nope, no slimy feeling. (And I hope to *never* experience it!)

Saturday night I had a stomach ache that would not let up, it continued into Sunday. No nausea, no vomiting, diarrhea, just a really annoying ache/crampy feeling. Was able to eat normally, normal BM's. I went about my business and even did my 2.5 mile jog Sunday AM. I tried eating a yogurt Sunday afternoon and shortly thereafter I could barely stand up straight. Called my surgeon and he suggested I go to the ER since it was bugging me for so long. I went, had blood work and a CT scan-- everything was normal.

Doc wrote it off to menstrual cramps; but I know my body and know that I never get crippling cramps. (I have an IUD which makes my periods light-non-existent). I'm wondering if I'm suddenly becoming more sensitive to sugars. I haven't dumped on anything to this point. I've eaten that brand/flavor of yogurt before-- but this time I couldn't even get through the cup before my stomach began revolting. But no other symptoms that I've read about for dumping (sweaty, racing heart etc). An overall odd experience.

Well I'm glad I got confirmation everything is fine on the inside-- and if nothing else; I've got reason to be more vigilant with my sugar intake!

Technically my surgeon found me. I'd registered with a local hospitals bariatric program 5 years ago, but never followed though with the surgery at the time. They must have kept my name in their patient roster cause I got a postcard introducing a new surgeon leading the bariatric program there. I looked into his credentials (where he studied/practiced, some patient reviews) and decided to go for it.

So here's my latest health debacle - a few weeks ago, my legs suddenly became very week, to the point where they often won't hold me up. I fell six times in a week and a half. The sixth time was in the parking garage at work - I scraped my foot badly, and hit my head on the concrete. I'd already seen my surgeon and told him I was having leg weakness and falling, and he just said "Well that shouldn't be happening." Gee, ya think? So after that bad fall, I went to my GP and he sent me to an orthopedist. Ortho said he didn't see any structural problems (other than severe arthritis in both knees, which I've had for years), and referred me to physical therapy. I've been doing the PT three days a week for the past two weeks. Last night's session, I told the therapist that I've been having more and more trouble standing from a sitting position, so he had me do that 30 times as one of my exercises. After my legs we SO weak, and today they were sore. Well, I'm at work and go to sit back down at my desk, and out go my legs - I hit the floor. It was humiliating - all my coworkers were trying to help, bless them, but I work with an office full of small women, and I'm still nearly 300 pounds. I couldn't get up, and I had to call my husband to leave his job and come help me off the floor of the office!

All this is to ask - has anyone else had this kind of major leg weakness post-op? The ortho had be go back to my GP to have an electrolyte panel done, and I'm waiting on the results of that. But I'm really freaked out. I hit my head a lot when I fall, and I'm afraid of falling and knocking myself out when there's no one around to help.

I've lost 100 pounds in a few months, due to several OTHER health issues, plus the surgery. I'm wondering if that is causing this?

Though it didn't happen post-op, I had **extreme** leg weakness as a symptom of Graves disease (overactive thyroid). I recalling falling a few times, but the bigger difficulty was standing after being seated. My thighs had no strength whatsoever. I had to hold on to something to even stand from the toilet. I recall crawling up the stairs in my house too since my legs were basically useless.

May be worth checking your thyroid level.