ShellMilliner

whoa I had to keep reading twice is this a dude, great post congrats on the no prego pregnancy

@ssourgirl So glad you were able to get your story to the director. Unfortunately, I've seen so often doctors forget the most basic rules of compassion. Once you lose your compassion in healthcare (or education) is seriously time to reevaluate and make a change, because no longer are there to help. Believe me if he treated you this way can you only imagine how he might be treating other patients too sick to argue or their families that may be afraid to stand up for themselves? I hope the next hospital internist assigned takes time to listen and discuss a thorough treatment plan with the other advising doctors. This is something you can request as well. It is a meeting with all the treating doctors to discuss a path forward. It forces them to be on the same page.
I also really am wishing for you that you do get a break for a few hours.

Hi, and welcome to the forum. Opinions and tact will vary. You will find that those six months will pass quickly enough and you will lose some weight in the process. Also, you will learn new habits that will retrain your brain and tastebuds as well as your stomach.
You will find out that you are stronger than you think you are. As you lose weight, you will gain confidence and become more empowered to speak up for yourself. Bariatric surgery is about so much more than weight loss. It is about having control over the human machine that your essence of being lives in, and having a more fulfilling life in which you are an active participant. Congratulations on taking those first steps.

Just told the people I work with about my surgery and, PHEW! WHAT A RELIEF!
I honestly don't know why I was so hesitant to tell them in the first place. Maybe because I was ashamed I couldn't lose the weight on my own or just embarrassed that I let myself get to be this big... I finally realized that I'm doing this for ME, to better myself, and I honestly don't give a sh*t whether people like it or not. So I told my co-workers, and to my surprise, everyone was extremely supportive and happy for me. I feel so stupid for even stressing about this.

Pre-op, I had a 53" sagging belly, sagging boobs, sagging rear, sagging chins, sagging thighs and sagging arms How is that any more attractive than a post-op sagging belly? Tell him he is less attractive when he is an a**.
To the original poster DaisyDawn34. If they are not blocking the door, chaining you to the washing machine, or taking the tires off of your car so that you can't leave the house, then I think you should go ahead and do what you feel is healthy and beneficial for you Don't wait until after you had a stroke like I did, or die too young of a heart attack like my brother did (age 47), or die too young of an abdominal aortic aneurysm like my mother did (age 67 - her mother lived to be 98).
My sleeve was my twelfth surgery under anesthetic, and I was not concerned at all about dying on the table or of horrendous complications. They gave me a nice nap and I woke up with a new lease on life. Your family is being selfish by trying to prevent you from making your own decisions about your personal healthcare. You do you. I wish you good luck and good health Come back often for encouragement.

I hope that is fear talking, because I can't see that as love. I was fit and slightly overweight when I met my husband and we were dating. I was about 244 lbs when we married I remember crying one day and he told me he loves me and will love me if I weighed 300 lbs. If he is more worried about skin than your health, I think there is an issue. I don't really mean to come across harsh I know that messages do but to me that was a shallow remark and meant to sting.

People seem to forget that death is always a risk with surgery. Patients who have comorbidities, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, lung problems, etc., are at a greater risk than those who do not have such issues. The risk of death is small for a relatively healthy person. However, every patient needs to be aware of the risks before going into this.

Everything that @@CanyonBaby said. You need to remind them that obesity is a disease and it is not a matter of willpower. Tell them the path you are on WILL lead you to an early grave and your biggest desire is to be there for your children (that was my motivation).
Let them explore this site. I believe there is even a section for friends and family. Is surgery risky? Yes, but the risks A. are very low most are rare and B. the benefits of a LONG healthy life far out weigh the any risks.
Good luck to you.

I'm going thru a very similar situation. Mom of 3 and married for 10 years. He claims that he will not be attracted to me if my skin starts to sag. I think it's just a BS of an excuse. I've gone back and forth for years and decided that I'm gonna do it for me. You could not be attracted to me next week and leave for all I know. So yes, be selfish and think about you for once. As a fulltime corporate worker, grad student, wife, and mother, I've put everything ahead of my own needs and wants. If you are not happy and complete then everything else crumbles. I'm scheduled 5/6/15 and if he leaves me then goodbye!

Everything that @@CanyonBaby said. You need to remind them that obesity is a disease and it is not a matter of willpower. Tell them the path you are on WILL lead you to an early grave and your biggest desire is to be there for your children (that was my motivation).
Let them explore this site. I believe there is even a section for friends and family. Is surgery risky? Yes, but the risks A. are very low most are rare and B. the benefits of a LONG healthy life far out weigh the any risks.
Good luck to you.

Weight can fluctuate drastically from day to day and it has nothing to do with calories. You understand that it takes 3500 calories to actually gain a pound of fat, right? To have actually put on 2.6 pounds of real weight, you would have had to eat 9100 calories. It's just Water retention. Stick to the plan your Dr. and NUT gave you and stop weighing daily or learn to not take the scale so seriously. I weight daily, but I understand how my body works, so seeing the day-to-day fluctuations doesn't mess with my emotions.

First, I'm very proud of you. Your life IS still your own. I would suggest having the "fam" go with to your introductory sessions, and also meet with the surgeon who can tell them the REAL facts. Meeting with the dietician is also a good idea. Make sure you tell your surgical team the difficulties you have had over this, I'm sure it's not the first time they have heard it. They may know how to better deal with it, as well.
I wish you all the best, and keep us informed!

Well, I had my surgery on 4/21/2015. The DS went well, but once I received a lovenox shot my clotting factor vanished. Turns out I have Von Millebrand Disease which is a type of hemophilia. Never knew I had it even though it is hereditary. I ended up being in the hospital for a week, and lost only .5 lbs due to the massive amounts of fluids administered. After all was said and done I received 6 units of blood, 4 units of plasma, and DDAVP. During this whole time I questioned my decision to even have surgery. Now that I am home I can look at it with a clearer head, and I know that the my health is worth all of the issues I encountered. Plus it was a blessing because it uncovered an issue I didn't know I had. Don't let the issues of the moment override your mission. If anything I made me a stronger person.

Carbonate, Citrate, Tricalcium phosphate oh my! Bariatric Dietitian Elizabeth Anderson has the sly on what to buy.


It isn't easy to find calcium citrate in the store. It also isn't cheap. But oh how we bariatric dietitians urge you to go with Calcium citrate versus the more affordable and freakishly easy to find--carbonate form.
Optimistic me hopes that one day that will change. So I'm always on the look-out for calcium citrate on store shelves.
Imagine my delight when I was at a national surplus store and I saw a box of Citracal chewies for sale!
As per my geekish habit, I flipped the box over to double check the form of calcium. To my shock and horror it was calcium carbonate!!!
I wondered if others had picked up the package and thought, "Citra-cal sounds sort of like 'citrate'-- must be what I need!"
Maybe the rest of you are more eagle-eyed than me. Maybe you are never fooled by food packages.
But if you are sometimes just in a big blessed hurry and just throw things in the cart--slow down when it comes to the calcium.
"But Elizabeth, do I really need to trouble myself with citrate anyway? Why not just get the yummy chews in the brown little tub?"
There is a reason to go citrate instead of carbonate, and here it is.
Weight loss surgery patients need calcium because bone loss is almost always greater than new bone formation, after surgery. Even with supplements!
Since the stomach is smaller after all weight loss surgeries/procedures--it also has fewer cells producing acid. Calcium needs acid to be absorbed. Registered Dietitians recommend the citrate form of calcium because research shows it's better absorbed (about 25% more absorption) than other forms in a low acid stomach.
But it's not as simple as that. (You knew that was coming, didn't you?) If you cannot STAND the taste of the citrate form, if you will NOT spend that amount of money on a supplement, then by all means, please take the carbonate form.
Any form of calcium is better than none!
Remember, most patients need about 1500 milligrams a day-- spread out in doses of no more than 500 milligrams each.
Here's to your savvy shopping, your strong bones and your continued journey to health!

@Rogofulm Thank you, this gave me a big smile.

@@ssourgirl - She is truly fortunate to have a mam bear like you. I'm glad the director came by and you were able to file your complaint. That dude was all kinds of wrong.

Oh, man. Are they trying to get this nausea under control? SO glad you made a formal complaint! Very happy you won't have to deal with that doctor again. I hope they make him personally give you and your daughter a formal apology. What he said was completely unethical and ridiculous. Still praying she feels better.

I understand now. There are many different protocols and people progress at many different rates. ALWAYS follow the protocol of your doctor. eggs are one of those foods that either work or don't work. Some people can do them easily and others can't have them until many weeks, even months down the road.

Not going to argue one procedure over another as I do not have a medical license and my descions were made with my doctor, nurse and a variety of peer reviewed articles on the subject. I don't claim any procedure is better than another. However, I will contend that intestinal necrosis is a risk with ALL WLS to include banding and with each it is a <%1 risk that is widely published in everything I've read along with fistulas and other complications. The majority of them are considered rare. To me that is a more than acceptable risk when the benefits of weight loss are so much greater. Remember we are here to support one another not challenge surgery type decisions.

It is not considered experimental any longer and hasn't for at least the past year and half to two years. There are actually several well documented papers from Europe in France and Spain where the procedure was introduced. My particular doctor has been perfoming the SADI for over two years with great sucess. It is safer than the traditional DS in several aspects and I do not suffer the side effects of diarehea or gas that most DS patients complain about. While the actual surgery only dates pack to about 2008 the results have been very positive, which is what is important. In medicine it is always about improving the procedures for safety while obtaining the best results. It is just another stepping stone in improving WLS from the old days of stomach stapling.

Hey, of the dozens of times I've posted this message, I think this is the first time that I'm posting it for a duodenal switch patient -- and it's originally from a DS forum. Cool! Check out the link, and good luck.....
Congratulations! You have reached The Dreaded Week-3 Stall. It's perfectly normal, and just about all of us have suffered through it. You're not crazy, and your doctor didn't screw up. In fact, you might not lose any weight for two weeks or even longer. But don't worry – after that, the pounds will start falling off if you stick to your program. And, the inches will continue to come off even while the scale isn't budging. Here's a good article that explains why it happens and why we all have to go through it. Hang in there. Pretty soon it'll be in the rear-view mirror and you'll be dropping weight again!
(Apologies to BP regulars who have seen this repeatedly, but it's a big deal to those who are going through it!)

Snacking and grazing is the downfall of WLS. Plan your meals and Snacks ahead of time and limit yourself to those times. Might try a "pouch test" which for Sleevers is really just a back to basics to get that restriction back in their tummy.

@@ShellMilliner, crackers work well at this stage for a vehicle to chicken salad, tuna salad and cheese. The reason it works is because you cannot eat very much at all. 2 or 3 crackers and you are full. I always made sure that I would put a lot of Protein on those crackers so I would not eat more of them.
I still prefer crackers over bread of any kind. Bread simply wastes space in my stomach and does not keep me satisfied for long. Now, I just have to make sure that I pile them high with Protein and don't eat more than I should. I will usually limit myself to no more than 5 and if I do well with protein, I am full by the time I get to that fifth cracker. I am 7 months post op.

as far as Water intake , why bother with an app, try this instead it sure worked for a whole lot of us.

Hi Shell, you're doing great -- I think post-op blues are very common. All the hype of preparing for surgery and getting through it is over, and there can be a let-down afterward. You have two little ones -- I'm exhausted just thinking about those ages. So cute and I miss it so (all grown up now) but oh my god. I'd be exhausted even without the surgery! You are going to be able to enjoy everything so much more now that you are choosing yourself and your healthy future first. Every one else will benefit, but YOU are first right now. Pat yourself on the back and let yourself know how amazing you are. Your body is changing and adjusting. Isn't it great having the appetite monster off your back? Everything will balance out in time. I'm a bander and know nothing about your surgery but I often can't really do a Protein Shake either. And I don't believe in starvation mode, etc. -- I have been saving up for the famine and my body knows what to do now. It will all work out -- it's only been a month. Here's to spring and new beginnings!