BigTink2LilTink

The memory loss is by far the worst part of it. Forgetting things that prior to the surgery were mundane at best. I'm planning on seeing a neurologist here soon just to make sure that its only from my VSG and not something more serious like a tumor.
I also know that because of the memory thats whats causing the depression to actually take in harder. I really do want this to pass cause where this should be the most joyful time in my life, seeing that joy right now is down right impossible.
Case in point last night I went to Wal-Mart of all places to try on clothes. The last time I could fit anything from Wal-Mart was around 95-96. I've been buying my clothes from big and tall stores every since. Last night I was in clothes from Wal-Mart that actually fitted comfortably. A feet that I should be very proud of. Yet still not up mentally.

I knew depression was possible but never dreamt it would be this bad and never thought about the insane anxiety. Not trying to scare you, you may be just fine, I'm just being real because I never read anything like this pre op. Thank you for the prayers I will do the same.

I ended up back in the hospital twice for a total of 3 weeks... Basically I couldn't eat or drink anything after my gastric sleeve without nausea/vomiting. After many tests and ultimately having my gallbladder removed, I finally started to feel much better. Now I'm very happy I had the surgery as I've hit my goal weight in only 7 months! 108 lbs gone and never looking back

But the fact that I realise what it is and dealing with it through therapy and writing it had gotten better. I just want to get rid of it.

But the fact that I realise what it is and dealing with it through therapy and writing it had gotten better. I just want to get rid of it.

I've been feeling a few clicks better than I have. It is a daily battle to get, stay, and remain positive. food is going down a lot better than it was so I'm hoping that whatever weird stomach bug I had I'm finally over. As for the depression, I'm still coping with it. A lot of days are good/okay. Like I said a daily battle at this point.

I'm one month out and have been depressed for the past two weeks.

I feel better today with the help of anti nausea med.

oh, don't rule out other physical reasons. I am an advocate of low/moderate carb, but if you go crazy low you will forget how to tie your shoes. Seriously, the brain needs some carbs to function well.
There is a reason that bariatric centers of excellence do follow up blood work. If you are low on key nutrients it can make you mentally off. I am not sure what happens when people go out of country and don't have follow up. My blood work has always been great post op and my brain fog/weird feeling did pass.

I am not sure I was depressed - but i felt "not myself, not quite human" for the first 12 weeks post op. It was sorta strange, like I felt as though I was an observer of my own life, kind of a surreal feeling. Is that depression? I have many theories as to why I felt that way, but it did pass. I would say by around 6 months post op I was becoming... jazzed, excited, happy, astounded even...
My theories of what causes that weird, unsettled feeling:
-Fat acts like a body organ and releases hormones. It is well documented that rapid weight loss releases stored estrogen. Sometiimes that makes people feel very emotional. I felt stupid, couldn't remember things etc
-Many of us probably used food to help "quiet" feelings. Could we perhaps be starting to "feel" some things were weren't used to feeling? how unsettling to wake up one day and realize that you just cannot, under any circumstances continue to live with XXXX in your life that you tolerated for a long time, with the help of a little food to bury your true feelings.
-Wow, it's kind of hard adjusting to the water/food/vitamin schedule. Felt like a freaking full time job. I was so huge nobody could even SEE my weight loss until I had lost about 50#.
So, those early months I was parting ways with a close friend (food and obesity), realizing aspects of my life really sucked and needed to change, spent huge energy on managing my food/water/activity/vitamins etc etc AND I was still HUGELY FAT. That kind of thing could get a girl down if she let it...

I'm sorry you're depressed downsizingdiva.

My doctor does have a support group in place, however it's about 50 miles away from where I live at. So it impossible for me to go there for that support group. I've looked at a few that are more local to me and I'm hopeful that I'll find one here soon. I find comfort in taking things out. It's also nice to know that those whom I'm talking to can relate to what it is that I'm actually going through.

My doctor does have a support group in place, however it's about 50 miles away from where I live at. So it impossible for me to go there for that support group. I've looked at a few that are more local to me and I'm hopeful that I'll find one here soon. I find comfort in taking things out. It's also nice to know that those whom I'm talking to can relate to what it is that I'm actually going through.

Not "depressed" per se, but definitely not myself... snappish, forgetful, ditzy, crying at the drop of a hat, (typically happy tears), not at all normal for me for the first few months. It passed. They say that hormones and toxins stored up in fat cells makes for a wild ride the first few months or while we are rapidly losing fat tissue. If you're really depressed though, see someone for help! This roller coaster is hard enough to deal with and you may need a little help, (chemical or talk) to get through it.

*First is my MAJOR scale victory, I am 100lbs down as of Sunday. Hw 290, Sw 282, Cw 190 from a size 20/22 to a size 8/10. Shoe from size 9W to an 8 regular.
*I no longer snore at all, which is big for me since it recently started and was so loud and disruptive to both my family and I. Now, nothing at all, they say im so silent they wonder if im breathing. I sleep so much better and more comfortably.
*Also, the late night cravings have gone away and I never wake up at night anymore so no more late night snacking.
*I no longer have pain from my Fibromyalgia and have stopped my medications completely!!!! I hate meds!!
******Sad to say that I have had serious negative responses to "MY LIFE" decision, here are some of the daggers in my heart...
-I've had family tell me, I didn't need the surgery, I was pretty enough even though I was "BIG"! As if I am so vein that I would do something so serious to my body just to look good...smh
-I was told, "I don't like this on u, it's not YOU, you're not meant to be this small"...SMH
Then, "I could never make myself sick every day just to look good". WAH? Who's that, I'm not sick at all...uneducated speakers make me wanna vomit if that's what u mean...UGH.
-another family member, "don't lose no more, we have enough crackheads out here, wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea". WTF???
THEN THE ABSOLUTE WORST OF ALL.....
-My husband threw me a big party when I hit my first goal of 200lbs. I invited all my favorite girls to a Glam Session to do makeovers and a photo shoot (my first pics public photos other than on BP) as a girls night but also as a celebration of my successes since at that time, I had also gotten a raise at work (Which is also suspect), a new luxury apt and a new car. I struggled over 2 years to gain these things from a 1 bedroom box apartment and no car to the new life that my hard work paid for. Do you know one friend was heard saying, "Why she gotta show off, now she think she something special because she lost weight, who's gonna shrink her head?" This hurt me the most because my husband offered me anything I wanted to Celebrate and all I asked is that he treat me and my girls, 17 of us to catered food from Carrabbas (My Fav), dj for the room, make up sessions with Mary Kay, we had a pure romance presentation, a man that was selling jewelry to enhance our look and a photographer to document the whole evening and take personal photo shoots as well, all this at no cost to them and this man made that happen just to celebrate me and my accomplishments and I was extremely thankful beyond belief but also so hurt by not only the person making the comment but the 4 that entertained her, 2 by saying, "that's alright, when she fall, she gonna fall hard" "she got a new 2014 car but just asked me for $60 bucks just last week, she's a phony" -this was when I lost my bank card and had to wait for another and she was with me so I asked her instead of calling my husband. Lesson learned!
Basically I learned that people are not always who you think they are. Thank God I did what I did for me and not to impress anyone or seeking anyone's approval. I am happy with my decision and since I've noticed that ppl seem to be down for you as long as you stay down in life...on their level perhaps but the minute you move up, now your not good enough for them. I have since been uninvited to 4 events and the excuse was, " Oh I thought You'd be busy or traveling" REALLY? I was suppose to be celebrating but I literally cried for 3 days. Beyond the gains (materials) and the losses(weight), I thought I had support. I learned an ugly lesson that day and here's some I wish to pass on...
Make your moves for YOU!, Seek only approval from YOU! Make sure you have a true support system. Then my daughter sent me a comment picture that reads,"Don't dim your light simply because it's shining in their eyes" That's for you too. Be positive and don't let the haters tear you down.
I don't have a positive relationship with my family, been on my own since 16, so these women have always been around but now that I can't even share my life losses or gains with them...my husband is taking me away from it all, no more pain, no more tears, no more haters, we are moving to California, his home town and I will make new friends and hope and pray to share a good life together. He even says we will renew our vows so I can get a new dress vs the size 26 I had to wear in Jamaica. After 18 years, we will renew our vows in Santa Monica!!! Haven't told any of them yet but I bet they act like they care... but they probably don't and who cares, I'm over it!! It will be a last minute goodbye and an AWESOME 2015!!!!

I am happy and I will continue to be, I could have uplifted others but I will reach out to the real ones and help bring them up and we can pray together for those too busy hating on others to ever come up in life!! Good riddance to em'...
Love you guys, needed to get that out!! Thanks, whew!

Good grief! Those are some nasty bitches you treated to a lovely party. Pure dee out jealousy is at the core of that evil coven.
You're absolutely right -- ultimately, these changes we work so hard for are for ourselves, not for others.
You're fortunate that your husband is 100% supportive. That's a priceless advantage.

The first photo was before I started my two week pre-op diet, last April. I weighed 231.8 at my heaviest, and was wearing a (tight) size 16. The second one was taken a couple of weeks ago, at about 153. I now wear a size 6-10, depending on the brand. Someone else on here posted before and after wearing the same clothes, and I thought that was a good idea, so that's what I've been doing so far, but then thought maybe I should add some wearing clothes that fit too, hence the third photo!

After being single for more than 30 years, I've finally found a lady that likes hanging out with me. I haven't told her anything beyond the fact that I've lost a lot of weight and I have to limit how much of certain foods I eat. I've told her that I can't eat a whole bunch of anything if I want to keep the weight off. That seems to be enough info to share with her for now.
When we go out, I told her right from the start that I would not be eating much and I was going out, not to eat, but to hang out with her and enjoy her conversation and company.
But if you are going to be dating later in the year, that means you'll be further along in the healing process and will probably be able to eat much more than you can now. At 6 months, I was up to eating 1 cup of food per meal. I know that's isn't much, but it's more than 4 bites.
As far as scars go, I'm going to try to make a joke of it by telling her that the big scar is where the alien popped out. If she laughs at that, then I'll feel comfortable telling her the rest of the story. But seriously, 4 out of 5 scars I have are faded and look like big freckles. The 5th one is very faded and in low light, very difficult to notice.

People kept telling me that I was losing weight, but when I looked in the mirror I couldn't see it. A good friend of mine told me when I started my journey to be sure to take tons and tons of pictures, and whenever I needed motivation to put an old one and a recent one side by side.
So a couple of days ago I did just that, and boy oh boy was I shocked! I still have a long way to go, but at least I can see progress!

y  
I don't have many before pictures and I am still not done, but getting closer!

Was sleeved on January 13th. Down 19 lbs since then. Loving my sleeve ????

Oh geez, sorry guys! Hopefully it will work this time!!!

HW in 7/2014: 298
SW in 10/2014: 274
CW as of 1/19/2015: 225
GW : 165

@@sweeteyes504 Congrats on your accomplishments so far! That's great! I'm 5'10" my HW was 368, SW was 333, in the before pic I was 342, I did a 3 day liquid diet before surgery. I hit that dreaded 3 week stall, and stalled again last week. As far as eating, I just starting holding down meat after downloading an app recommended on this forum called Eat Slower. A typically day for me would be BF is usually a Premier Protein shake, lunch a small chilli (the only 'meat' I could keep down since week 4) and dinner a quarter of an avocado with a little Evoo and balsamic vinegar. Now that in adding 2 oz of chicken, the avocado slice is smaller, but I still can't eat it all. I'd be lying if I told you I get all my fluids in, I try, but 36 Oz seems to be my max. I have a 16 oz coffee every morning, regular caff, with skim milk too. As far as exercise, my office is very fast paced, so I'm running around there for 7 hours a day, hit the gym after work for an hour for a little more cardio. I just began strength training again on Monday, so I'm at the gym a little longer now. My son does judo 3 x's a week, so on those days, I hit the mini gym at the judo center to do an hour of rowing. Saturdays and Sundays are cleaning and family days, so they are my rest days.

Here are some before and after pictures of my honey and I. He didn't have weight loss surgery however he chose to lose weight with me. Pre-surgery we weighed a total of 518 pounds. We are down to 375 pounds. He has lost 88 pounds and I have lost 55. God is good and so is this journey!