Twilight

My main lump is about 2 inches below my big incision. When I had my first fill I was suprised that the lump is not actually my port. It is above it. My port is actually lower than the ball that feels like it is the port. I guess that isn't a great explanation but my fill PA didn't have a problem locating it. She knew exactly what she was feeling for. It's just our inexperienced hands that don't have a clue. I wouldn't worry. You will be alright.

Sherri, Keep your chin up. We are all working at an extremely difficult task. One that we thought we had all the necessary tools for but were all very naive about. This is going to be tougher than we thought but every day there will be something new for us revel in. Keep looking for them when you feel like you aren't making progress. We are looking forward to hear all of your nsv's

I guess that would be much cheaper than remodelling. Hmmmm....nope, still asking for a new bathroom. Actually not for scale problems, but it would make a good reason. If I get my linen closet in my new bathroom I'm going to look into a dr.s scale. I agree that I couldn't fool myself that way. Guess we'll have to see what I end up with.

Whatta lazy Sunday. I get much lazier and they will think I'm a piece of furniture around here. Oh well, pamper yourself right? I've been snacking a little more today but I have rationed in the calories so hopefully it won't do TOO much damage. Nothing much, just a nibble here and there. I did splurge on a tablespoon of Peanut Butter today. WOW! that stuff doesn't go down very good anymore. I had asked my NUT about it and she said it wasn't forbidden but that she wouldn't recommend more than a couple of tablespoons a week. She said to use it like any other fat....sparingly. DH wanted tuna noodle casserole tonight so I'm not sure what I'm going to do for dinner. Too much carb not enough Protein in it. I will scrounge up something I'm sure. I'm still struggling with the 1 mile walk away the pounds walk so I'm not venturing to the 2 mile. I never thought I was THAT out of shape. Talk about delusional....but about 3/4 of the way through my legs just cant do another high knee up...so I just walk. I really thought I would be just jumping into the 2 mile without a problem. Have a great week coming up, I plan on it.

Definitely sounds like a reason to remodel. I'd push for that. I'm in the middle of convincing my dh that I need a new bathroom. I think I've made it, but he's not going for a new kitchen too. Dang it!

I think it sounds like a good reason to remodel!!! Oh dear, I have nowhere to put my scale and it is SOOOOO important. I need a new bathroom. Yep....that's it!

I guess looking at how I wrote it, you would be confused. It sounds like a really good day on screen. I guess the "bad" part is how it made me feel. Since I have lost a bit of weight I haven't had to nap in the last month or so. I have a ton of energy and my weekends have been filled with days of going and DOING instead of sitting and watching. So yesterday felt like failure. I know that my body needs rest sometimes but I didn't have anything to rest from. It was more out of boredom that I slept and didn't do anything. The only other thing I usually do out of boredom and didn't was eat. And today I feel about the same. Tired. Just so blah. Where did my energy go? I don't know...maybe it's pms but shouldn't be this early...I'm really growly today too. DH looked at me and I snapped off some snotty comment. My big concern, I guess, is that those activities (sitting on the couch and napping) were part of the problem...not the solution. I don't want to go back there. I'm stuck in a rut and need to climb out. I need another attitude adjustment. Lots of reasons for it and not many solutions.... Salsa -- sorry to hear about your botched plans but we'd take that snow over here in NE Montana. It's 45 and melting here. My snowmobile is NEVER going to get out of the trailer at this rate. I'm also sorry that you missed the opportunity to spend time with your dad. There were 3 years that my dad and I didn't speak and I regret ever day of them now that he is gone. Its great that you are patching up a relationship. You are right, you're an adult now and can take things at face value. Take the good with the bad, and enjoy what can be. Well, off to do something...even if it's wrong.

QVC.com has a blender similar to the magic bullet but for only $30ish. I've been debating buying it but haven't found I really NEED it yet. It is a LITTLE more powerful at 250 watts but not a ton.

It's almost 11pm and I want to be tired....but I had a bad day so I could be up for awhile... I had a great eating day. By noon I had already gotten half my water in. That NEVER happens. Normally I'm drinking 48 oz. at 9pm just to say I got my water in. Had a glass of diet v8 fusion and a glass of protein drink for breakfast. A bowl of protein oatmeal from that diet place I was talking about the other day. For snack I had some soy nuts. Dinner was a WONDERFUL beef enchilada. Night snack some soy nut mix. It was so awesome for me. And at no point today was I feeling like I NEEDED something. On the other hand I did NOTHING for the entire afternoon. I did make myself walk a mile with my video before I could eat dinner, but that was the sum total of movement today. I was horrible....even took a NAP! So now I will pay for it by not sleeping tonight. I guess I deserve that. Tomorrow I will make sure I get more moving in. Having an eating day like today mixed with a good exercise day and I can call myself successful. I can't even blame my back because when I do get up and get moving it feels better. Have a great Sunday everyone. I will check in sometime tomorrow.

updating...haven't done that in a while name.............starting#......current#......goal#.....togo# Anitak33...........245............218..........199.......19 Anna2766____.......232............232..........220.......12 TxArcher...........360............353..........345........8 Candle.............218............211..........207.......4 Cerrin.............350............350..........325.......25 chickatee..........188............182..........175.......7 Cookielover........202............202..........192.......10 cQQlgirl...........220............217..........210.......7 Faithmd............306............301.2........296.......5.2 georgiagirl........275............268..........260.......8 Hollyberries.......298............298..........285.......13 Hoppingto..........350............314..........294.......20 Irishmae11.........233.8..........234..........219.......15 Jennie1976.........290............251..........235.......16 jfran..............187............181..........177.......4 Jillrn.............176............176..........166.......10 Jsrico.............255............178..........165.......13 juliegeraci........220............220..........210.......8 KarenG.............207............197..........189.......8 keekahari..........220............217..........205.......12 kjl315.............237.5..........231..........220.......11 legster............223.5..........212..........199.......13 LessnLess..........172............168.5........164.......4.5 liz_hager..........202............198..........190.......8 Manatee............188............178..........175.......3 Mandyjo............191............187..........180.......11 metawnny...........252............252..........240.......12 MJRouse84..........274............233..........218.......15 nip50..............250............243..........238.......5 Rainer.............264............253..........248.......5 Redtulips3.........248............233..........226.......6 RenewedHope........228............217..........210.......7 rharriet...........367............256..........248.......8 Sades..............229............199.7........189.......10.7 Skinny_Jill........195............190..........180.......10 Stacy73............230............223..........222.......1 SueMagoo...........230............224..........220.......4 Sunny112...........145............145..........140.......5 Susan4794..........240............240..........225.......15 Suzzzie............303............294..........290.......4 SWEETY.............180............174..........170.......4 Trystelle..........219............211.5........205.......6.5 Twilight...........206............194..........185.......9 uxbus5.............240............240..........230.......10 want2lose..........236............236..........225.......11 wombat712..........154.8..........150.2........140.......10.2 __________________

Isn't it crazy how much pain stress can cause. It's like it doesn't cause us enough heartache, it has to physically debilitate us too. I'm glad it wasn't more serious though. Did your dr. give you some tips on keeping it from returning? I'm having a quiet day at home. DH wanted to watch the entire Star Wars saga last weekend but only got through the original three....so today are the others. I slept through one and now we're watching the deleted scenes....at this rate we'll never get through them all....but at least its a quiet day. Only problem...I'm not really moving much. I'll get a mile walk in tonight before dinner and try another one before bed. That should make up for my extremely lazy day. I'm making beef enchiladas for dinner. Really looking forward to them. It seems that I've been eating a lot of Mexican food lately. Lots of Protein and vegetables....plus flavor. I love it when I can have some protein with flavor. I'm getting really tired of chx breasts. I need to come up with simple quick FLAVORFUL recipes. I'm so unoriginal. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Wow Jackie! You look great. The stance of confidence is amazing! You look so much more sure of yourself and proud. AND YOU SHOULD BE! Thanks for the inspiration

Gail, I am a full time teacher that commutes 30 minutes one way every school day. I have a 13 year old, a 3 year old, and a 1 year old. I get up at 5:30 to get the eldest to basketball practice at 6 and then get the others ready. By the time I get home and get them fed, bathed, and pay ANY attention to them, there is no time for exercise. I also feel guilty when I see how much time others are putting into exercise. On the other hand I did find a dvd at Walmart called walk away the pounds. It has a 1 mile, 2 mile, and 3 mile walk on it. I started the 1 mile this week. It only takes 18 minutes and I can't convince myself that I don't have 18 minutes to give to myself. My idea is that once I work the 18 minutes into my daily schedule, I can then find 15 more minutes a day for the 2 mile walk. It might be an idea. Start small and work your way up from there.... Good luck

AWESOME JOB GAIL!!!! That had to feel good. Life just seems to be getting better doesn't it? Keep em coming

Karri- Good for you getting your exercise in. I started walking this week with a video. My back has been bothering me the last week so it has been a little slow in the moving department. Went to the chiropractor yesterday and can turn my head again and nod too. I did walk a mile yesterday and the day before. I'm sure your folks will be so excited. I know 23 pounds has made a HUGE difference in my world. How far do you have to travel to get there? Is it a mini vacation or just the weekend? I have two weeks til my next fill but can't wait until then. I think another fill will do wonders for my appetite. I do however still have to get a handle on my chewing. I can't seam to get that under control. Am I the only one having a hard time with that? I am not eating a LOT, just eating it without chewing it well enough. Well, I'll check in again later...

I went hunting for this today....needing some reaffirmations this evening and found it back on page 6. Thought I would bump it right on up to the top for anyone else needing that positive something it gives you. I want to add ....because I want to feel like a beautiful woman again.

Hi all, I thought it would be nice to just have a single thread where we could all just blog about our journey. We can talk about our days and just generally update it. I know the week of the 17thers have one like this but since that's only 1/4 of the group I thought maybe we could all have a single place. Tell us about your successes....your setbacks....your day in general. Today was an alright day. I had a great teaching day, a decent eating day and a not so great exercise day. I'm not getting on the scale until Monday so that maybe I'll actually see some progress. How is everyone else doing?

I may not eat "normal" ever again, whatever normal is.... But when I eat now, I enjoy it, I don't inhale it. I chew and savor and eat with all my senses. Eating is a pleasure and when I am finished I enjoy whatever comes next. I no longer gulp, grab a swig of whatever is handy to wash down this bite so I can gulp down the next. I don't spend all my time thinking about food. I don't eat so much every time I burp something was bound to come up with it. And before when I was finished, I was miserable and like a lump of gravy! So if that is "normal" I'm all over being odd for the rest of my life. There are people very passionate about their problems with the band. But would you expect all those happy and content with their life to be on here singing hallelujahs? I wouldn't. They are out LIVING! They are out where I plan on being in 6 months...enjoying every second of their new life. Now there are some veterans on here and Thank God for them because they are a wealth of information....but the majority of happy people are out being happy....the unhappy ones are broadcasting their problems. Now personally I was glad to know all the possible pitfalls. I was happy to read some of those complications....but more happy to read that it was not going to KILL ME! I self paid and if anything goes wrong I will be paying for it, but it won't KILL ME! If I kept going how I was going, it was going to KILL ME!! I went in eyes wide open. I knew what could go wrong and I was ready for those possibilities. Better to be a boyscout than an ostrich. Nerves are normal....the idea that you are making a life changing decision is a little scary. But letting fear lead you down the path is not healthy...and neither is living as an obese adult. If it is really nerves, you will know, because you'll continue to dream those dreams of what it will be like when you are thin. Good luck

My headaches are usually long and dull when my back is bothering me. It starts in my low back and just works its way up until I can't even turn my head. That is where I was the last few days waiting for the chiropractor to get back to town. He comes to town twice a week. I wouldn't classify them as migranes but they occasionally become migranes. When I put myself under intense stress or am in a very uncomfortable position (large group of strangers for example) my migranes show. They hit hard and fast and normally I'm in the bathroom between shower and floor hoping they will work themselves gone. It is the aftermath that I use the excedrin for. Because they have never been frequent I haven't talked to my dr. about them. I will next time I'm in though....one of the biggest reasons is the nausea that comes with them and the "rememdy" is never pretty. Thanks for the note, I will talk to dr. next time and stay away from motrin for now. As for protein powders, I haven't tried any but those I mentioned. I did go to a smoothie place in the mall around Christmas and they added protein to my smoothie, but since I am 5 hours from the nearest mall, that's not going to happen very often. I'll remember it though for when I do get to a smoothie place. Went to the back cracker. Everything was so tight it wouldn't even pop! He did stretch and straighten things but I need to go back next week. My headache is gone though and I can nod and roll my eyes without pain!!! Can you imagine how hard it is teaching teenager when you can't roll your eyes without pain??? Now if THEY couldn't roll their eyes life would be good! My kids are so great though, they have been awesome! I know Karri is struggling some days, and I do too, but the kids make it SOOOOOO worth all the aggrivation. Karri--come visit. You'ld love it! Well...off to walk my mile! Hubby even said he'd try it with me tonight. Life is so good! I'll chk back later!

I had 3 cc put in at surgery. I guess for some bands that is normal. It is to help it seat itself. At my first fill I got 2 cc's put in. I feel some restriction while drinking, sort of like a funnel effect, early in the morning and late at night. My eating habits are catching up with me since being filled because now, when I don't chew well, I feel it. Good luck! The needle wasn't as bad as I worked myself up to think it would be....but I didn't "watch" the whole time.

Just one more thing.... I am not a Breakfast person and my dietician said that if I was going to insist on not eating b'fast that I needed to have something with Protein in it regardless. I don't know about everyone else but it has NOT been my favorite task. So I asked a friend who had bypass done what she has been doing for protein. She gave me a sample.... The drink is called proticcino. She got it from her bariatric center. Well, she said she had found it cheaper online so after I tried it and liked it, she gave me the website. The nice thing about this site is that any order under $70 is just $7 shipping...which really isn't that bad compared to some of the places. Also, if you order more than $20 you can pick three free samples. So where is this going....well I LOVE the proticcino. It comes pre-measured in a bottle and you just add Water and shake. It isn't thick like a lot of shakes, more like thin milk. And I LOVE it. Well I went to sit down to watch Big Medicine and decided to treat myself to one of the free samples I ordered. It is amaretto cocoa. It has 80 cals and 15g protein. I was a little short protein today at dinner because I filled up so quick. It is AWESOME! I know Salsa was talking about only being able to drink right now and this is something warm and indulgent and GOOD FOR YOU! or as good for you as snacking goes. AND I get my chocolate fix and it doesn't taste like fake chocolate like all those "diet" chocolate bars do. Anyways....if you are interested the website is MyDietShopz.com for e-Z Weight Loss, e-Z Shopping, and e-Z Prices and I like it. There are also a bunch of products aspartame free (the proticcino is) for those who have problems with that. I have another cinnamon cocoa to try, their oatmeal, and tropical banana drink. I just thought someone might be interested. Now...thanks to tivo...I'm off to watch Big Medicine!

Joy and Skinny, I don't think I have any plans Thurs. or Fri. night if we want to get together and talk. I'm sure I can find some time on Sat. and Sun. outside of bb games and church. Give me a call, I'm in the book.

I did not have any co-morbidities as of yet, but I knew they were coming. Last time I had my cholesterols checked they were border line. Last two times I was pregnant I had gestational diabetes and had been having some of the same feelings so I'm sure I was borderline diabetic too. My blood pressure has always been good but my heart rate was through the roof. I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without puffing by stair 12. It hurt to get on the floor and hurt even worse to get up. When I would get up to walk after sitting for more than a half hour my feet were on fire. I'm only 25 pounds down and a lot of the pain is gone. I am waiting for 6 months to check my bloodwork again....I haven't had a blood sugar episode in 2 months. There are positives even without serious health issues. I look at the path I was on and those health issues were just around the corner if I hadn't put up a road block. Keep learning. If this is really for you, you will know it in your heart.

Quick question. I suffer from migranes. I have never taken anything stronger than excedrin for them. Tylenol doesn't touch them. I did buy some children's motrin so that next time I had something that maybe might help a bit. If I can't have that, do you have any suggestions? I know...ask my dr. (and I will next time I'm in) but do you think once every couple of months will cause a problem? I only get them when I am reallys stressed out or my syatic nerve is pinching (like today). I'm wondering about an IMHO is all.... Kathy, we haven't met because I've joined this board from the decembers but I'm very sorry to hear about your father. I lost my dad a year and a half ago under about the same circumstances. 6 weeks from dianosis to funeral. I'm sure you are still spinning. Make sure you take care of yourself during this time. I didn't and pay for it every day. Everyone else...I've been off board a lot more the last couple of days. It has seemed very strange, but I have been very busy with school and kids. My back is out again...as it always has done every couple of months. I go to the back cracker tomorrow and hopefully he will align everything and work out some of the kinks I have put in my neck. Semester exams were just too hard I guess. I think they are harder on the teachers in some ways than they are on the students. We care so much about them and the kids just take them. On a positive note....I picked up "walk away the pounds" on dvd at Walmart a couple of weeks ago and I finally took the plunge and opened it up tonight. Honestly, I was going to sit and watch it to see if I liked it but felt guilty sitting there so went and changed and just dove on in. There are three workouts on the dvd. A 1 mile, 2 mile, and 3 mile. I made it through the 1 mile! Okay...honestly I had to stop a few times....but I didn't quit and sit down, I stretched and started back up. It only took 15 minutes or so and I think I'll try to do it in the morning before my shower. I think it will kick start my day and be better for me than groaning about how early it is when my 13 year old has to be taken to basketball practice at 5:50. I can come home and do that for 15 minutes and then hop in the shower. I'm hoping that it didn't hurt my back....actually it was probably great for it, just sitting here now that isn't. So....I'm off to stretch my back some more and watch Big Medicine. I said on Sunday I was going to have a great week and so far, so good. I'm on the downhill slide and it can only get better from here.

Rain, I was just thinking about posting something similar. I also need something to cope. My patience is beyond thin. Tonight I just lost it with my hubby. It seems that every little thing seems like a crisis anymore. Maybe it is because for so long we turned to food instead of dealing with issues. Your little ones are young and fragile but also VERY resilient. Make sure that they know how much you love them when you aren't frustrated and it will help them cope with mommy's tantrums. Explain to the oldest one that sometimes mommys need to go to timeout too. I try to hold it all in until they are in bed. I then break down usually and have my temper tantrum. Tonight I couldn't hold it in that long and my little ones had to see a very ugly side of mom. Hubby still isn't talking to me, but since they went to bed he went back to work. So....later we can hash out those issues. I don't have any good advice, just support. I don't know what makes us so cranky right now. I don't feel deprived. I don't feel tortured. I feel powerful right now....but still my anger is sitting right under the surface. Who knows why but I believe this too shall pass and a better us will rise. Keep posting and let us know what works for you.