bandpal

I can empathize, Mimi. The last month before my surgery, I binged non-stop. I was afraid of the surgery. I knew I was standing on the precipice of a major life change, and I knew I was saying goodbye to my previous relationship with food: how I ate,when I ate, how often I ate, how much I ate and what I ate. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. Talk about how you feel with people who care about you, and get all the hugs you can - and keep putting it out here, because we understand. Meanwhile, April is coming.

The H-Pylori stuff sounds really annoying - I just read that more than 50% of us have it inside of us, and 80% of the people who have it are asymptomatic. It just sounds like more fun and games from the insurance industry. Just follow through and be patient - and remember, you are doing this for yourself, not your husband. Imposing deadlines might only add to your stress. Keep hanging in there.

Any words of Pep I could offer pale before the encouragement of the Master: Paste this into Youtube and prepare to be inspired Animal House - Bluto's Inspiration Speech Seriously, looks like you need to change some habits. Buy some of those McD hot chocolates and oatmeal cookies. Put em in a bag and step on them! Or better yet, take your daughter along and donate all that stuff to the homeless. Make a official break. You can do it. Don't beat up on yourself. Move forward.

Wow, MNWMN,you go sell that truck of yours and then maybe you'll give me your autograph along with some short words of prayer and gratitude, and I'll be honored to stick that paper in a crack in the Western Wall of the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem. (I'm from Israel) This is a common tradition followed by religious and non-religious people alike, and it doesn't matter if you are Jewish or not. I am probably the farthest thing from a wingnut you can imagine, but I am moved by the step you are planning to take, and want to honor it. Best of Luck!

Congratulations and welcome to the club. Your pain (shoulder) might also be related to leftover gas from the operation. I'm all for taking it easy right after surgery - don't overdo it. I had nothing but clear liquids for my first week, not the one protein shake either. I say you're lightheaded because you know you've just turned your life around!

First, thank you, Laptastic :biggrin:. Second: Ah yes, people. Reminds me of my favorite line from Peanuts: "I love humanity - it's just people I can't stand." I have been lucky here. Wife has been loving and supportive, kids stopped making fat Dad jokes a long time ago, dog is still trying to make sense of it all, and everything else is window dressing. Co-workers: juck 'em if they can't take a foke. Your sisters' cattiness made me sad. I hate that comment. I thought of three zingers for you, in response to "Well I could lose weight too if I had surgery.": :tongue:"So what's stopping you? Climb up on the table and I'll make the incision right now!" :tongue:"Yeah, too bad there's no knife sharp enough to cut through your thick, cold, insensitive skin." :tongue:"Looks like they tried, but they forgot to close the opening beneath your nose that those funny sounds keep coming out of." It's sad about being treated nicer, isn't it? Not for nothing is there all that talk about discrimination and prejudice against fat or obese people. I do hope, though, that I too am easier to be with and work with than I was before.

I am significantly less mature than Jacqui (Jachut) even though I am older than her – in fact, I probably have more in common with those vexing 11 year old boys than their wonderful teacher . Still, if I go looking for the emotion-filled part of my road, I find it squarely in the pre-band part of the map. Face it – life (for me) after the band is much better, much less strewn with emotional upheaval, than it was before. That's not to say it was always easy. Here are some problems I have encountered along the way: food took up a lot of my life: thinking about eating, shopping, preparing food, going out to eat, and, of course, eating. After the band, there were times I felt like a marquee without a main attraction – empty and undefined. Such a drastic physical change (see my pictures in my Bandster Profile – note: I weigh 40 lbs less less now than I did in my "after" shot) has significant emotional consequences. I have had to find myself again. In addition to being much smaller than I thought I was, I think I am also quieter, more composed, less emotionally needy, somewhat less "jolly"… this is an ongoing process, and no, it hasn't always been easy. Most significantly, food masked a lot of underlying emotions within me. I'm pretty sure that therapy both before and after banding ensured the success of this venture. Of course, it is still possible to act out with food now – but over time I do it a whole lot less than I did before, and it's nearly nowhere as gratifying as it once was. I am still trying to find the optimal portions, times, and foods for me to eat. I slime and pb too much for me, my family, my friends and anyone who's lucky enough to share a table with me. You want frustrating? Okay, that's frustrating. Good luck, Debbie – there ain't no plateau without a good, steep drop on the other side. Get ready to give a good happy shout-out to us all on the way down…

Great news, Bandaide! Your surgery date moves closer every day - hang in there and keep us in the loop.

Shortgal, Check out my previous post again - the picture I unsuccessfully uploaded is there now.

Shortgal, if I am "Half the Man I Used to Be" then you truly are: THE BANDLESS WONDERWOMAN! THANKS FOR STAYING AROUND FOR SUPPORT AND INSPIRATION!

I can't get past Stage One of the Bandster Profile form because I live in Israel, but keep getting asked to submit a US State or Canadian province in order to complete my address. Suggestions, anyone out there? Thanks -

You can do it, Guy! Best of luck on the 26th.

Try pillows - I'm not ashamed to say that I stole my wife's pregnancy pillow (ok, she wasn't using it) for support after the operation. Sleep and rest after banding are important. Maybe you should consider a relaxant or sleeping pill to get you through. Good luck, and congratulations on your banding!

Thanks, Joyce! Best wishes for a successful surgery next week!

Todah Rabah, Alex! Thanks for the quick reply, let me know when you work it out...

Hi Bandaide, You asked, "Do any of you who have the band still find yourself struggling with the way you have to eat or fighting the want for certain foods?" For me, two years post-band and maintaining a 144 pound weight loss, the answer is a definite yes. Learning to live with the band for me is a process which I began only after decades of self destructive behavior with food. Change does not happen over night, and, like your doctor said, "They don't yet make a band that gives you an electrical shock when you make a bad choice." Mine put it a little differently: "Remember, I operated on your stomach, not on your head." For now, I have to accept that I have a lot of work in front of me and that I might never have a normal relationship with food. So what's so good about all of this? For me, it's the knowledge that however hard it is for me now, it was much harder before the band. The band has helped me regulate my food, reduce my hunger and slowly has lead me to change my tastes and preferences. For example, it is very liberating not to want to eat bread – not only because I can't right now, but because it almost never appeals to me any more. I look at it and think, "what did this stuff ever do for me besides make me fat?" That's one of the things the band can do – make you not want the stuff you always wanted. Sure, there are hard days, and moments of failure, but on the average there's no comparison between my quality of life before the band and after it. One more thing – I never had a pre-op diet. It's always seemed a cruel and unusual punishment to me: making someone diet so that they can receive treatment for a condition which stems from not being able to diet. I can only encourage you to take it on faith – it's all worth it. Good Luck!

Sharon, Food leaves a big void, there's no doubt about it. Filling it is akin to reconstructing our lives, and that takes some time. The suggestions people have given you here (finding other things to occupy your mind, seeing a therapist, spending more time with family and friends, spending more time cooking healthy meals) are good ones. For now, I hope you can also counter your despair with the knowledge that you have made a major, dramatic step toward banishing a kind of behavior that I can only assume was harmful and painful and negative for you. After all, what lead you to undergo this procedure? It's not a common step. Did you have feelings of helplesness and despair about your weight? Did you experience a frightening lack of control over your eating, and your never-ending hunger? Hopefully, having had this surgery, your hunger will lessen, your need to eat will decrease and you will know the blessed relief of no longer having a 300 pound gorilla on your back shouting, "EAT, EAT, EAT" in your ear 24 hours a day. That's how it was for me. Hang in there. The results will come, and you will feel like all your pain was worth it.

Congratulations, Lora- You are at the beginning of a potentially life-changing journey. This site can offer you perspective, experience and inspiration. Good luck, and keep us all posted!

Name................ Lbs Lost........% of wgt lost...........BMI Abbisgood.........53.............23%.............?? Aubrie............65.............%...............31 BandChick64.......104............34.67%..........31.6 Bandpal...........141.46.........50.53%..........23.2 BarbBee...........154............51%.............25.0 Cherlita..........60.............20%.............55 Cindyg............62.............24.5%...........34.5 Close.............50.............20%.............33.1 Firebolt..........67.............27%.............30.2 Foofy.............50.5...........18.5%...........35.5 gabeekeeper.......101............30% ............40.2 Hajohnson1........49.8...........18.2%...........39.8 Hollyberries......113............31%.............36.2 HoppingToIt.......69.............19.7%...........49.1 Huskerette........54.............22%.............30.5 kandiceb..........63.............26%.............27.6 linda.............52.............23%.............29.9 lindseyann2u......115............N/A.............N/A Maincat...........141............46.5%...........22 Mariegabrieleee...86.............40%.............36.9 Melanie1972.......80.............30%.............29.7 MollyBrown........36.............12.5%...........36.5 Momto1plus1.......144............54%.............19.6 NYGirl1...........102............33%.............32.6 plump_princess....57.............22%.............36 QatarPhil.........55.............19%.............32.2 Rachel............63.............%...............28.3 Robin_Bird........132.2.........43.3%............26.3 Sades.............44.8...........19.5%...........33.7 scarecrow.........125............40%.............27.3 Shalee04..........70.............28%.............29.2 Shortgal..........44.5...........20.5%...........32.9 Skinny_Jill.......71.............32.4%...........28.5 Staysee...........70.............20%.............48.4 Stephanie.........67.5...........29%.............25.9 strangeratx.......70.............30%.............27.9 Teresajo..........93.............36%.............27.3 Tmusicmaker123....73.............19%.............48.7 TxArcher..........122............31.5%...........36.7 tyman311..........61.............31%.............28 want2lose.........91.8...........32%.............31 lisawach.........104.0...........29%.............?? I've been here for a while, now - weighing a little more than half of what I used to before the band, and maintaining it for nearly a year.

Congratulations, Shalee! It's been a pleasure to follow your progress, and to enjoy your enthusiasm and positive attitude all the way through! Happy Bandiversary - please keep sharing, we all share something very special and staying in touch with each other, even infrequently, is very important.