EverLearning

The first 3 days were the hardest. Day 3 especially. Day 4 was AWESOME and I had energy and did stuff and worked full day without falling asleep until bed time! Today is day 6. I am pretty emotional, sensitive, headachey and without much confidence. I did my weight and measurements this morning and found I am down 6 pounds - 5 of which appear to be muscle. DANG, no energy to exercise and my muscle is disappearing faster than my fat. I am also only down 3 cm as I went up 5 and lost 8. Why in the world? I am feeling frustrated, disappointed, questioning everything except the need for something different than being fat.

I would have LOVED to know the hernia repair can cause spasms - it really does! I have gotten better in my med routine but that diaphragm is a PAIN. It all makes sense now in hindsight. Hold your tummy high and go for it. It does get better daily.

I used NOTHING I took to the hospital but my tablet and phone charger. I did use my toothbrush but NOTHING else made it out of the bag. A "complication" I had which was really an inconvenience was anesthesia totally messed with my bladder and sphincter so going to the bathroom became an exercise in patience to get the urine OUT. I couldn't open or contract my bladder! It all resolved with time and I am still feeling pleased when I void that I can do it now! LOL - but I am celebrating all victories here!

You look great! I love the sparkly you possess in both pictures but you are right you can really see a difference in you face in just a month! I guess I better start taking pictures of me so I can see changes as they happen!

That is wonderful for you! They kept calling me a rockstar at the hospital as my post op has gone ideal, if I didn't have that coughing fit I would agree completely that it was too good to be true. I am trying to adjust to this new eating and drinking and I am doing pretty well. I wish I knew how to burp!

I was so pumped full of IV fluids in the hospital I weighed the same as I had BEFORE my preop diet! I am looking forward to weighing tomorrow - I hope my kidneys have caught up by then.

I am so glad to be home! The nap I took today on my OWN bed in my own sheets and with my own pillow was AWESOME! Hospitals are noisy - the IV machine I had to name and pretend it was my own personal frogs peeping. The bed can get ready for lift off to Mars at any time and does prepare for take off, and the compression boots - well if you make them loose you can pretend it is your dog cuddling up to your feet. I did it! All is well and I feel pretty good. The transition from the pain med drip to oral was a bit rougher than I expected. It also coincided with my first "meal" of pureed chicken and a tablespoon of asparagus soup that was strained. I think hurting and seeing that food combined into "what have I done?" I am supposed to live on THAT? It tasted good, I ate until I was burpy. Telling when I am full is being a challenge, I have never been able to burp and I am not sure I can now! New skill to be mastered? If you stand with great posture and your tummy firm it hurts less when you walk. My hiatal hernia repair has actually hurt the worst - especially when I got coughing last night and I could breathe in smell of anesthesia. I think my lungs needed a good clean out of all that anesthesia and it just happened when I was low on pain meds. Things learned so far....I need a check off list for all the meds and when they are due for me. I am doing better than I think I am on both drinking and eating. Trying to burp hurts. Any suggestions on taking the capsules you break open and sprinkle on food? They are a new level of nasty so far and I hated wasting a bite on such a bitter pill as the ursolidaol is. I am awaiting to take my pain meds and go to bed. I am planning on waking tonight to take them when due. If you are in pain you don't heal as fast or well as your body is too busy coping with the pain. Take you pain meds my friends there is NO advantage to toughing it out! I am glad to be on this side. My family loves my scars and thinks they look like stab wounds LOL! the bruising is pretty awesome. I should state, I never looked at where the scars were going to be or what was involved before surgery. I just didn't want to know. It has been a fun surprise and I am glad to have had the surprise now.

I am feeling pretty smart here and have to share. I packaged up some leftover Sunday dinner of chicken and veggies and froze it. Tonight I wanted my single meal on pre op and thought of it - but it was rock solid frozen. I put it in a double ziplock and boiled it and it is as good as it was the first time! Super moist and tender. Enjoying my meal of chicken and veggies and not feeling one bit deprived on this pre op diet! It is about time I adapted - it has been 10 days! Surgery Monday....YEA!

Howdy, I have caught a cold! It hit like a truck Saturday night and I am home from work with it today! Now what? Any suggestions? I so don't want to put off my surgery....... I also realized I have been doing WEAK Protein shakes! I invested in CASES of Low sugar carnation instant Breakfast and mis read - I thought I was getting 13 grams protein per packet - NO it is only 5 grams THEN you add the milk to get 13. I am so disappointed. I started doubling the packets up but now the calories are higher than I want. I need better protein FAST. I did order an unjury sample pack but it hasn't shown up yet. December 15 is next week.....I so hope this is a 3 day or less cold!

I have been soooooo good on the pre op until tonight. I put nutella on my german puff pancake. I have felt yucky since and am not sure if it is food related or guilt. I even went to a party last night and brought my own Protein and ate that and green Beans - plain green beans! Nothing else. I did it just! Now to mess up today, I am tired, I am grumpy, I am easily offended and I fell asleep in a meeting at work. I emailed the nut today and learned I have been under doing my calories which may be why I am so tired. I was aiming for the 800 per day goal and she said I should do 1200. I have never lost weight on 1200 calories so we negotiated to 1000 I guess. My husband says I am trying to be too perfect. I just know I don't want to fail again, and others lose a lot pre op so I was trying to also. I wasn't even feeling deprived and I went and ate a bit of nutella. WHY? too hungry, too emotional, too tired. My diet is Protein Drink and a fruit or veggie for Breakfast and lunch. Dairy snack with a fruit or veggie. Light dinner of 3 oz protein, a veggie and a small whole grain serving. And all the calorie free drinks I want. I am meeting all of it but nutella? Oh well.....I guess it is time to move forward.

It is your placenta. IF you have IUGR and high blood pressure it is your placenta that is the weak link. Keep your diet healthy, she will take all she needs from you and leave you drained of nutrients if your diet is poor. You won't notice for years - but that is what pregnancies do to us if we don't take care of ourselves. It sounds like you are on the "better in or out" point for her and if she is better off and better able to grow outside - accept it and know you did the best you could but she chose her birth date. Keep up with the ultrasounds and blood flow, placenta's have a short life span as an organ - they are amazing - but when they go bad, get old and calcify, the baby just can't keep growing at the rate they would like. Trust your team and take her sooner than later as if they are watching blood flow that is concerning. Any labor and delivery nurse will tell you post term placentas generally give the worst heart tracings in labor because there is no reserve for the baby to make it through the contractions so you end up putting mom on oxygen and everyone gets more stressed out because the baby is. You can do nothing about your placenta, nothing you did in the past caused this, nothing you do now can change it or direct the outcome. Follow the advice of your OB team and plan on a little gal who will probably come early and be skinny. But remember skinny doesn't matter in the organ development - it is gestational age. Any you already have that covered by how far along you are now. She has the maturity she needs. Good luck in your next few weeks!

I just saw this on facebook and thought to re post it here: One of the most important things a person can do is master his or her ability to upgrade the state they're in. Frustration and Failure are powerful forces that can be harnessed, channeled and used productively, upgraded or even just neutralized. NO ONE can cause you to feel something without you buying into it first. That is my attitude adjustment to let it go and move forward - I am learning to harness my frustration.

mroth - I so get it! I just returned from a holiday party where I played invisible well. My daughter went with me. In theory it was with friends and should have been great, but I had a hard time making conversation at my table and was worried about eating and the pre op and being hungry! I am home and just want to curl up in bed now as I feel emotionally drained. Will the skinny people talk to me when I am thinner? Will my overweight friends avoid me? will I be able to be me? Good news - I took my 3 oz of left over turkey, I put that on my plate and acted like nothing was different and ate a serving of green beans and passed all the rest right along past. I stayed with my pre op diet in a social situation. We can do this, we want to do this, and there is no need to worry about aspects we can't control. We will be fine and we will grow internally as we shrink internally - we got this!

You make sense to me. Thank you for sharing!

Tomorrow I start my pre op diet. My anxiety is high - so is my fear of failure. I feel I have never been successful in weight loss for over 15 years so why should this time be any different? I know it is the right thing to do, I also can admit I am stubborn enough to stick to hard things. So with that --BRING IT ON! I still wonder what is going to happen? Is it really possible for ME to lose weight? I guess this is a trial of: Do I trust the answers I have received to move forward with this plan? Do I trust the process? Do I have the faith to allow it to work for me? Will it all be worth it? I can answer YES to each question. So it is time to get out of my self pity wallow and enjoy today. SO....why am I anxious?

I read a blog about why we gained weight and got the way we are. I posted on it a comment about looking forward. That has stayed with me and I want to define what do I think is success? The goal of health, too nebulous to ever know if it was achieved. Being thin? Probably not realistic at my age, but the forum has given me hope of loosing more than I initially thought I would! Do I want thin? or curvy? or just less physically than I am now? More energy? Again hard to say when I have arrived. Happiness? That comes from within. As I am headed to surgery I have realized if I don't define milestones of success ....I will never be satisfied and my frustration will be more than it needs to be. There is a good chance I won't recognize the good as I am living it!!! I have come up with no longer gaining weight. I am not sure what else... I worry about hydration, eating, recovery, meals, holiday coping, deprivation, not having what I need to succeed, over buying and wasting money on things I don't need, what if, what if, what if....I tend to take on too much at once and then overwhelm myself. I feel success for me is: Having made the decision for surgery and moving forward in faith and the knowledge this is the right and correct course for me. Having a plan for the holidays and how I am going to handle them with the realization this surgery has set me up for focusing on PEOPLE at gatherings, more than the food....or hiding behind the food so I can avoid the people! It is time to learn to love on a new level. Success is learning to overcome my shyness and social anxiety. Wearing normal size clothes. Being able to cross my legs. Being able to pull my knees into my chest in yoga, and to do a child's pose and feel relaxed. Using my stand up paddle board STANDING and enjoying it without worrying about people looking at the fat lady in a swim suit. Fitting in a Medium size uniform next summer on the boat. Loosing my double chin. Keeping up with my family on a hike - setting the pace, not slowing the pace! Wear high heels again to church without my feet killing me off! Leaning to plan meals in advance and blessing my whole family with the changes in their diets as I get skilled at this. Celebrating each centimeter lost and using that to show how far I have come. ( I measure monthly and centimeters are smaller than inches so they add up faster! ) Loosing to a healthy weight and STAYING there within the healthy range for the rest of my life. Having the energy to serve in whatever capacity I am needed or can perceive! And doing it! Reversing the downhill slide of my health from this moment on. That is what I have come up with so far..... I do know the best is yet to be, expect some rough patches, but overall life just gets better and better!

HI, After a long journey I now have my surgery date of December 15, 2014. I am nervous, excited, scared, and can't wait all at the same time. When I met with the Dr. yesterday I was wanting to loose weight so very badly I was scared to make a decision of which surgery to choose. I have consistently leaned toward sleeve, but when it came down to decision time I wondered if I was choosing wrong for me and what if I didn't succeed? In hindsight I realize I placed myself in a no win and Sleeve is the right surgery for me. My goal is health 10 years from now, being able to take ibuprofen as needed, avoiding malnutrition, and learning to be satisfied with a taste of favorite foods and still loose weight and gain a higher level of health than I currently am living. The realization that I really did choose right for me with sleeve came to me as I told friends about doing surgery and explaining what I was planning and why. I can't even talk about bypass with a straight, neutral face! I get all thinking about doing that to me so Sleeve is my surgery and I am good with it. I have attempted to loose weight for YEARS, I have never been successful even with calorie restrictions, high protein, exercise, personal trainers, multiple modified eating habits and diets, metabolic clinic work ups and all I could do. I can say now I have done all I can and my body likes to gain weight, the Dr. at the metabolic clinic is who suggested surgery as a good option for me and started me to thinking in this direction. That was over a year ago. I am ready to live and not say the best of life is behind me. I am married, and I have great immediate family support from my kids and husband. I have 4 children and one grand child. I haven't told my extended family my plans yet, but I have been open about it at work. Doing surgery right before Christmas feels right - a little crazy - but right. I am so ready! I will celebrate the holiday without the food and I can still enjoy the season! I am working on making a plan of success for that and my imagining has me being successful. I am struggling with the thoughts of what if I only loose a little bit? My sweet husband says if I just quit gaining I have still won! SO very TRUE< but I want MORE! I do not want to accept that I may only loose 50% of my excess weight - I want to be the gal who looses down to a healthy weight. I don't need to go bikini thin - just healthy size and functioning. Forums are new for me, but I know getting support and having a place to ask questions increases my success and satisfaction both and will keep me reality based. (I should have read what people put in these before I started writing!) I look forward to making friends and being a friend in this journey.

I know shy! Been there and lived it. Until I moved to my home I am in now. With the move I thought I need to have friends here, that means I need to talk or at least smile at people! I have worked really hard at that and now my neighborhood can't believe I was ever shy. I am still often uncomfortable in social situations, and I make plans of how I am going to handle situations, but I am more outgoing then I ever thought I was capable of. I have grown in this area - it is not a strength yet - I still don't like small talk or parties, but I can fake it until I make it and doing so has increased my skills and my confidence. Take each situation as it comes, plan for escape if and as needed, and don't give up on you. The best is yet to be - but it has to be worked at to be achieved.

Thank You! I hope it helps!

I am Dec 15 - pre op diet starts Monday!

Thank you for this great post and summary!

I am also a December Sleever! Starting my pre op on Monday. My work sells Core Power lite Protein drinks and I tried both the chocolate the the strawberry banana and both were really great. I have an amazon order on it's way but won't arrive until Tuesday! LOL at me for late order. It is the light Carnation instant breakfasts. It is the 3 oz protein and veggie meal that actually has me the most worried! Is fruit yogurt OK? Like carbmaster brand?

I am Dec 15 and am willing to learn facebook to join in! blessings.mt@gmail.com.

I think you are normal! Change is hard. Unknown is hard. I have a sign I see each morning as I get ready it says "Don't let doubt keep you from your potential." I like it because it reminds me to take risks, to try, to forgive myself and try again when I fail, and that I am not yet at my potential - life just gets better and better. With your anxiety and mixed feelings I would suggest writing. Write all your worries, concerns, hopes, frustrations, goals, the whys of what you are doing, just write. No one ever needs to see it but you. It is a safe way to dump and process a lot and I find by the end of my writing session I have totally sorted myself out and feel better. I have also found when the rough spots in life come, if I go back and see where I was emotionally and why I made the choices I did, it confirms to me I am OK, on the right path for me, and this is just a rough patch! Or it is time to make a course correction as I am off base in my current thinking! I have used this for all my BIG decisions and I can say I made the correct decision at the time ---and each had a rough patch to prove it to me where I thought I had totally messed up and questioned myself. Look forward, place your worries in a safe spot where you don't have to carry them, remind yourself of your WHY you have gotten to this point and if the reasons are still valid, and move forward. Good Luck!