jane13

First and foremost, I never called anyone stupid or uneducated. Second, I posted my opinion in the appropriate section as I have a right to do and clearly many people agree with it.
Suggestion. Scroll up to your name, click on ignore preferences when the drop down menu appears and add my name to your list. Problem solved. Easy, cheesy.

@@Jane1979
LIKE THIS!?!?!?!!

I personally am glad that @@LipstickLady is concerned. I'am learning so much from her (and her pointing out others mistakes) never mind not losing weight, how about you could make your insides explode!? I know I don't want that to happen to me. This app helps me understand what to expect and how to deal with it. We as newbies do not need enablers. Obviously we had those and it lead us to being this over weight. We need vets that can and will tell us we effed up and what can and will happen if we do it again.
Yeah sure, some peoples plans are different but it's the same basic rules. If your fresh out... Don't eat normal food.
I do have a plan for the future, if I'm not sure I should/can eat it. I won't. Until I talk to the doc or nut. I'd much rather have professional input or at least hear from someone that's been in my spot, than throw caution to the wind and wind up sick or worst... Back in the operating room.
So I say thank you to all the "outspoken" vets. I pray you never have to type in all caps to me
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

In all fairness, the perpetrator of PorkChopgate took the advice and reactions extremely well. She screwed up, owned it and didn't get pissy about the somewhat horrified responses.
She deserves a round of applause for that.

After the last incident we had here, I had to detach or stop posting. This is my only connection to surgery so I still need to post here, so I detached.
Everyone doesn't have the same education level or investment in surgery, and most importantly people don't have the same outlook on life.
While the app is great and it makes the forum accessible to lots of people that would never come here otherwise, but it is also terrible because there are lots of people that come here that would never come here otherwise.
I just say my opinion and move on.
A lot of people that post here remind my of my associate that had RNY. Never changed eating habits, still eats sugar with wild abandon, never cooks. And every day is a struggle for this person. They have regained, and in the next few years will probably regain all the way back to their previous weight, because they keep gaining and are unable to make any lasting changes. They keep asking me what I do and I have told them over and over and over again. This person cannot or will not make any real life changes, I can't keep investing myself in trying to help them. It is making me crazy. Every week they ask me the same things and say they need to make a change, only hours later to go out to eat instead of going to the grocery store. They are full of excuses, and even they admit their excuses are ridiculous. People have to do it for themselves.

as one of the veterans in my support group constantly reminds us "it's stomach surgery, not brain surgery. you have to do the brain work yourself"

Well said @@LipstickLady
Well freakin' said.
Too bad the surgeons can't remove our stupid when they are taking our most of our stomachs, lol.

I'm a relative noob (sleeved on 9/6) and it doesn't make any sense to me either. I was it utter disbelief when I read that someone had a pork chop 7 days post op. I was like SERIOUSLY??? Do you not understand what you just did to yourself???
I do appreciate the veterans that dole out good advice, even when it is ill-received!

I'm not real good at looking away if you haven't noticed. Why? Because there are SO MANY LURKERS in this forum who are reading, reading, reading and if no one speaks up, they are absorbing bad advice and patronizing warm fuzzy validations.
Am I wasting my time? Absolutely. Am I ever going to win any popularity contests for having strong opinions and a big mouth? Probably not. (And I really don't care. I have real life friends who live outside my computer.) Did I get my fair share of finger shakes', eye rolls and kicks in the pants as I went through this process? YUP. Did I learn from those "meanies"? Without a doubt (and DANG I miss them!!) Was I always happy about it? NO FREAKING WAY. But I listened and ultimately, I earned back my health and a MUCH smaller number on the scale.
Giving myself permission to eat what I wanted against the advice of WWs and Jenny Craig and Atkins and South Beach and my doctor got me to 264 pounds. Clearly I **didn't** know my body best and caving to the head hunger and cravings did some permanent damage to my body that can never be undone.
So if even one person can be reached and jolted back into their new reality of WLS, FABULOUS. That's why I waste my time.

Amen!

You put in the time.
You put in the money.

You go to all the appointments and you jump through all the hoops.
You do the pre-op diet.

You have the surgery.

You cared enough about yourself to make the commitment to WLS and you physically and permanently alter your body...


And then you get mad because someone tells you not to eat the d@mn taco? Not to drink alcohol or soda 2.783 days after surgery? To put down the freaking pizza'? To stop eating bread/rice/pasta/bananas/hoagies/20oz steaks TEMPORARILY while your body heals and you get to your goal weight? To actually stick to YOUR doctor's plan?

Even better, you get mad when they only do so AFTER you ASKED????

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?

Yes. I'd guess most of us have head hunger and cravings. I'd guess most of us had a nibble or sip of something off plan. I've no doubt that most of us were not 100% compliant 100% of the time. But I'd also guess that those of us who have done this, gotten to goal weight and stayed there have been compliant the majority of the time. I'd also guess that many of us who have been successful would appreciate a swift kick in the rear if/when we ask a question I bet we already know the answer to.

It's not rocket science and this isn't Romper Room. Make good choices, stick to your doctor's orders or don't, but don't get mad if you fail to get the results you want when you refuse to do what you are supposed to do. And don't get mad when someone tells you that what you are putting in your mouth isn't the best idea in the world even though you want it right now.

Value yourself more than that. Seriously.

22 years strong as of about 3 weeks ago - I am blessed.
He has been my partner since day 1.
I also kept him informed from the very beginning and asked for his input/fears/concerns about me undergoing surgery.

I am almost 15mos post VSG and I have lost over 100 lbs. I can eat between 1/2c to a cup of food, depending on density and when/what I ate last. I have never vomited, or dumped. I am within 10lbs of my goal. I know to keep me honest I weigh at least every other day and I weigh out my food for work for Breakfast and lunch. I fluctuate about 2lbs. I didn't put on the weight overnight and I have battled the bulge since I was in my early teens (40 years). I will always mentally "track" what I eat and continue to be a scale junkie...the sleeve is a tool. I use my tool daily - - - - NO REGRETS!

@@DaisyAmy I have an uncle like that and his wife, my deceased moms only sibling, always talks about my boobs (how big they are). Even after losing over 100lbs she still talks about my boobs, she will be 80 in a couple of days so I try to ignore it but sometimes

This place has REALLY slowed down. And not just this particular section, the entire site.
What a shame. A great wealth of knowledge was lost...

I have no idea how to help you but if it's too bad you should contact your doctor.

@@Shemekasr @ - Hey Ladies, I don't mean to hijack your thread but you are not saying FOREVER goodbye to ALL of your favorite foods.
I eat like I am supposed to, an occasionally eat a bite or so of my pre-WLS favorites, so its not FOREVER goodbye.
Its all about using your tool - sleeve, band or bypass!
Good luck!

I am a veteran and very reluctant to post because the majority of people here are newbies, and what they may hear me say can sometimes be things they should NOT be hearing.
You have to learn to stand, then take baby steps, before you can run.
Life at 6 years out is entirely different than those first year or two, just starting out, developing that new lifestyle, and learning how to "Listen" to my band.
With the exception of 2-3 people perhaps, everyone (and there many) who were here when I first came, are now all gone...I still remember some of their screen names, and many of them were people I paid close attention to.
In my opinion, there is not much here for veterans and it can be tough.

@@LipstickLady
It's still important to me to see the veterans here. I see less and less of them.
I can't take responsibility for peoples short or long term success. All I can do is offer my experience, suggestions and give referrals to the experts (medical professionals)
I pick and choose what I read and respond to. Its disturbing to see people wanting any excuse to not follow their surgeons plan. I hate to see (newbie or Veteran) enabling poor decisions. I won't validate anyone's poor choices. I seem just to skip over many threads because I cant say the same thing over and over.
I understand people asking for help and being honest about choices. I want to see people succeed. When they slip I want to see them get back on the horse. I will cheer them on.
It comes down to this....It's all on them to do the work. No one can do it for them.

@@LipstickLady when I was new to this site, I was terrified to post. I had alot of shame, fear of failure and I was emotionally very vulnerable - especially preop. I suspect reading a few others getting their ass handed to them helped me too. At nearly 5 years out, I am much less "compliant" than I was the first 3 years, but still hanging in there at a healthy weight and a happy life. I had to really really change to find this success after my failure with the lapband. I still thank all the IRL people (NUT, surgeon and others) who supported me with the truth as well as my imaginerary friends on this forum. Sometimes we don't like what we need to hear.

I am scared for some of these newbies and the lurkers who are reading. This fear is probably a huge part of why I don't just log off permanently.

Is it just me or does the trend seem to be "I'll eat what I want when I want no matter what my surgeon says" with other people actually coddling/recommending/applauding/defending that viewpoint?
When I joined this site, I had my @ss handed to me several times (THANK GOD!!) because I wondered why (out loud) my diet was so restrictive. I wanted permission to break some rules because it was damn hard to follow them. I never did test those waters (with the exception of a Hershey's Kiss one week post op -- it tasted like I imagine licking an ashtray would) because the experienced people scared the **** out of me with talks of leaks, tears, vomiting, and the worst? BEING A FAILURE AT WLS.
Maybe because I had my surgery in my 40s -- after decades of being fat and ready for a change -- I didn't take those words as "ganging up", "bullies", or "mean girls". Maybe it was because I knew in my head that I was being a dumbass every time I whined about wanted something salty instead of sweet. Maybe because I had the self realization that "listening to my body" put me in a place where I needed WLS, so clearly listening to me was a horrible idea...

I will never forget my first WLS seminar. There was a young girl a few rows in front of me who was scheduled for surgery the next week. When we were going over the dietary stages post op, she raised her hand and told the NUT she has a bachelorette party a week after her surgery. She TOLD this woman that she WOULD be eating wings and drinking, no matter what. It was, after all, her body and her right. I would love to know what happened to her. Ideally, they took her off the surgery schedule. Most likely, she had surgery and is still obese 3 years later.

I wish great success to anyone and everyone who has WLS. The quality of life this procedure has given back to me is worth all the coookies (sic) and crackers and french fries in the world. (Even McD's -- fresh out of the fryer!!) I hope everyone gets to experience everything they want to experience in a thinner, healthier body. I would love to hear less and less stories of people who never lost or gained it all back but I fear that those stories are just going to multiply with this new mindset.

It's a shame. It's a great big DAMN shame.

Safe in here? It sure as HE!! isn't "safe" out there for vets anymore.

YEESH!!! Anyone else feeling that?

You can point out where the Water is, but not everyone is going to drink. Well if they can't take a hint or a joke F them. Wait, that isn't warm and fuzzy is it?
Bigger question: Why am I commenting on a thread about idiot comments?

Yes, I noticed that you took one on the chin for the cheese instead of Cheezits comment. Most of us know it was sage advice.

You are eating ...Pasta? ...Alfredo Sauce?
LET THE GAMES BEGIN. "Lucy, you need to do some 'splainin' to the food police".
(I'll just sit back, wait and eat some microwavable popcorn then will follow it up with a diet caffeinated soda through a straw, 30 minutes after )