samuelsmom

Actually, I like the idea that someone can google a topic and find a post about it. Maybe something I have experienced can help someone else.
Honestly, I can't imagine that bariatric surgery is in the top ten things that crazies search under, however, I could be wrong!
That being said, I am not worried as I am sure I am not the only mother with a son named Samuel in this entire country.

I was fat shamed as a child but as an adult 98%was self inflicted.
It goes to show that the words we say to children turn into the internal voice when they are adults. Choose the words with care including mean nicknames etc (i am talking from parent and other family! )

It's awful that the people you should have been able to trust for your healthcare were so dismissive, so your rant is fully understandable. Unfortunate, so often doctors see one problem or illness in a patient and every other issue they have is blamed on that ... my mother was a type 1 diabetic and her main doctor was always quick to blame any and every heath problem she had on that, often things that had nothing to do with the diabetes. I guess they get complacent and see us as an illness a lot of the time, rather than as a person.
And of course the other issue with "fat shaming" is that those who indulge in it (whether it's because they are an a**hole or because they think they are helping open our eyes to our problems) aren't telling us something we don't already know. When you're obese, you know you are obese and you know it's not healthy. Obviously. We might be overweight but our brains still work! We don't need some sanctimonious prat telling us how fat we are. I guess the upside is that we can lose weight through surgery ... but there's not a surgeon out there who can fix the ugly nature of the judgmental idiots out there!

People who smoke know it's bad for them. People who are fat know they are fat. It does NO GOOD to shame, berate, make fun of anyone because nothing will he done about it until THEY are good and ready to do something about it. So people need to keep their damn mouths shut and let people live their already hard enough lives and treat each other with respect and dignity.

There is a BIG difference between someone expressing concern & being shamed. No I was never fat shamed. I would never have tolerated and obviously people knew that. My WLS was about loving me & taking care of me. Wanting to prove something to others had nothing to do with it.

Shaming which is making people feel bad about themselves is wrong. What good comes from making someone feel unworthy?

There could be any number of reason NOT to have weight-loss surgery ... cost (not everyone has insurance cover), health issues (once I made the decision that I wanted to have the surgery, things were delayed by a year because of another health problem), or even just the fact that they aren't yet ready for the surgery. Personally, I think someone is bettter to wait until they are in the right headspace before going ahead, because it is a big step. Who know why someone hasn't made that step? I waited until I was well into my 40s before I talked to my doctor about it, many people wait longer. It's such an incredibly personal journey (ugh, sorry for using that cliched term "journey"! I hate that phrase but in this case it just seems to fit).

I never really experienced fat shaming, that I know of, but I do know it exists, and it's wrong. There is also discrimination against obesity, that shows itself in many forms. I think fat discrimination is one of the last acceptable types of discrimination. I may or may not have been on the receiving end of that, though I never thought so when I was fat.
I always felt like I had a lot going for me and a lot to offer, and I always made it my business to be liked and succeed. I also probably come across as one of those people who isn't going to tolerate bad behavior from anyone. I'm happy with my personal and professional success, despite being overweight/obese most of my adult life.
However, I have to say I was recently sort of shocked, and somewhat irritated that strangers are really nice to me now. They want to chat, compliment my clothes, my bag, etc. I had great fat clothes and great bags before, but get way more compliments now. It makes me wonder if maybe I was discriminated against in some ways before and was just too obtuse to even know it.
Then I have to consider that maybe something in me has changed, too. I seriously HATED being obese, and was miserable physically from it. Being fat not as much fun, in general, no matter what you are doing - even eating! So, perhaps some of the "improvement" in the way strangers treat me is due to an increased openness or happy projection from me.
That was a really long answer, but in general, it's never OK to treat people badly!!

@@Elode I'd join you in that uh moment,,, some ppl need an attitude adjustment big time ... My WLS decision was mostly based on fat shaming by Drs in the last 4 years I couldn't get Drs to listen to me when I complained of severe and debilitating pain and numbness in my feet and legs was told that if I wasn't fat it wouldn't hurt etc had staff in offices pointing at me and talking about me as if I was deaf one orthopedic dr gave me a referral for WLS same with foot dr and vascular Drs 2 no orthopedic told me point blank get out of his office and quit wasting his time that I need to loose weight and if he has to be an asshole and tell me then so be it it was humiliating I knew I was fat it had not escaped my notice considering it went wherever I did it's not as if I could forget for 4 years went from dr to dr recommended by ppl I know to be blown off time after time we'll finally this year after losing over a 100 lbs by spring I was able to be at least listened to and tested for possible causes of pain I never had before and wasn't going away and found out I have neuropathy venous insufficiency and severe arthritis in left foot and ankle with no cartilage in ankle or midfoot joints and severe bone spurring through out foot well now I've had 4 years for it to get worse thanks to these Drs I've lost over 170 lbs and the pain isn't going away so apparently even if I'm not fat it still will hurt Now they say I'll probly have to have a fusion but I'm the breadwinner here I can't not work for months I hate that they seem to be able to treat ppl that way and get away with it we aren't deserving of basic respect it really pisses me off sorry for the rant

I also have no doubts that a lot of us were "fat shamed" just not to our faces. Most people are too much of a coward to say it to your face like that Nichole bi*ch that made the YouTube video. She had a whole lot to say to a camera but I can almost bet my left foot she never said it to anyone's face. She's a nasty person and if I had the chance to speak to her I'd have no problem having a come to Jesus meeting with her.

@@Tootsietoes Fortunately for me I was never fat shamed that I know of. I think I have a "I wish you would" look about me that kept people's mouths shut. I didn't have a lot of the "fat" issues like finding a man, friends ect.. I treat people the way they treat me. I surround myself with good hearted people. I personally think that people have WAAAAY to much time on their hands when they open their mouth up about someone else's life. Everyone has flaws they can spend that wasted time on fixing. One of my favorite says that I love is "If you think you're perfect try walking on water". That will shut people up real quick.

Nope, nobody fat-shamed me.
But I hated being fat. I was embarrassed about it. Felt so disappointed in my inability to resolve my struggles with obesity and deal with it.
I certainly didn't need "feedback" to know I was fat, unhealthy, and miserable. And it wasn't like I wanted to live like that.
Duh.

I think it's awful. People need to live and let live. Making someone feel like crap doesn't create something positive. Even on this board you have many people who missed out on life because of being shamed. Still others on this board who are shocked to find that being skinny is not the magic cure all to happiness. I loved me fat and I love me 104lb thinner. It was loving myself warts and all that motivated me to care for myself enough to even consider this surgery.
Shaming had NOTHING to do with it.

Actually, I like the idea that someone can google a topic and find a post about it. Maybe something I have experienced can help someone else.
Honestly, I can't imagine that bariatric surgery is in the top ten things that crazies search under, however, I could be wrong!
That being said, I am not worried as I am sure I am not the only mother with a son named Samuel in this entire country.

SO,
On Monday, September 14th I will be going to Atlanta from Boston on business with a few colleagues.
The funny thing is the last time I was in an airport was 16 years ago, me and my wife went to las vegas. It was hell walking around especially in the heat, and I always tried to dress well, but lets face it, when your a big/fat/overweight guy, looking hip or classy, is not easy on a budget.
At that time, I wasn't as big as I was before my surgery but I was well over 300 pounds. The stares from people when I got on the plane were of them saying, oh please don't let this fat man sit next to me. Thankfully myself and my wife had two seats in an end row to ourselves.
I always used to volunteer for the entry way seats because no one else would sit next to me except my wife. ( those are the seats that don't recline etc.)
This last time I sat down and, uh oh, the seat belt wouldn't fit! At the time, I did not know about seat belt extenders and probably wouldn't have asked for one, even If I had known. So I just tucked the seatbelt under my arm and my belly, and made it look like it was attached.
This Monday will be my first flight since then as I never wanted to fly since, expecting I would have to buy the dreaded extra seat. This will be a first for me in a couple of ways. Obviously being able to fit in an airline seat , with a seatbelt will be, a weird but great feeling. Inside I'll have a bit of a wistful moment when I click that belt on. Sometimes it's these things, I never thought about when I started my journey, that really make me happy.

Love all the comments. Don't slap me- but I do enjoy pizza, once in a great while. In fact, it is such a pleasure to have a small amount, feel satisfied, and not want anymore. I am one of those that was not a huge carb addict. Also, I gave up fast food a long time ago. My issue has always been Portion Control. I could easily eat 3-4 large slices along with a salad, and coke to go with it! I feel like a "normal" person-- eating part of a slice and saving the rest for the dog

I am so happy to have found this thread. I have been exercising since pre-op (over a year now). I remember people telling me that I will start to love doing it. And they were wrong! I still hate it.
But it does make me feel better. So I carry on...

Ok, so I started the challenge at 209 and was hoping to make it to onederland. However, I traveled to Wisconsin, Minnesota, upstate New York, and western Texas this summer, so eating right was a challenge!
My final weight is 203 for a total loss of 6 pounds. While I did not make goal I am grateful. I have no doubt that I would have EASILY gained 5-10 pounds in the years before surgery.
On to the next challenge and onederland!

This is the one thing I am really concerned about. None yet and I am 3 months out. I do wash my hair less and I give myself a warm coconut oil treatment once a week (wet hair, pour on melted coconut oil, wait 20 minutes, and then shower and wash hair). I'm hoping I get lucky on this one!

I am so happy to have found this thread. I have been exercising since pre-op (over a year now). I remember people telling me that I will start to love doing it. And they were wrong! I still hate it.
But it does make me feel better. So I carry on...

I had a career that kept me away from my home, and my kitchen, 45-60-hours per week. I did not want to cook after a long day, but I wanted to serve a nice meal to my family. However, I learned to develop fast and simple recipes -- typically 5 ingredients that can be prepared in under 30-minutes.


Our food is killing us. Today's families are fat and diseased from a diet of processed foods, and our children will be the first generation to live shorter lives than their parents. Time is of the essence: We must change course right now. It’s time to start eating real food and stop eating ‘frankenfood.’ This is not just another fad diet. It’s about saving lives.
Gastric bypass weight-loss surgery was my wake-up call in 2003 to reverse my personal obesity epidemic and diabetes and hypertension — the death triad as I now call it (read my story). To borrow a phrase, I was sick, fat, and nearly dead in my 30s, a processed food junkie on ~10 prescription medications. Without bariatric surgery and lifestyle changes I would not be alive today. I would have missed out on my grandchildren. That’s a very sobering and humbling thought. Instead, I cheated death, I surely did, thank you, G-d.
The problem underlying these health conditions is the modern American diet heavily-laden with grains, refined sugars, unhealthy fats, and toxic food additives. Obesity is even harder to treat than the diseases/health conditions it causes. The low treatment success rate associated with obesity is likely because people need to commit to changing patterns deeply woven into social fabric, food and beverage commerce patterns, personal eating habits, and sedentary lifestyle. And if you think the bariatric surgery is an easy pass to skinny, then I’m here to tell you that it isn’t.
My approach is one of replacing grains, refined sugars, and unhealthy fats with fresh, local and seasonal food that is chemical-free, sustainable, and nutrient-dense. That was a complete turnaround for me. I had a career that kept me away from my home, and my kitchen, 45-60-hours per week. I did not want to cook after a long day, but I wanted to serve a nice meal to my family. So I relied on processed foods, aka frankenfood, like frozen stuffed chicken cordon blue, frozen broccoli in cheese sauce, and a white rice pilaf from a box.
However I learned to develop fast and simple recipes -- typically 5-ingredients that could be prepared in about 30-minutes. The food industry is very deceiving in their marketing. They craftily paint a picture of health and convenience for us, labelling processed food products as “healthy” or “all natural” and use words like wholesome goodness, when these claims in reality are not backed by truth. There are no regulations or standards that define “healthy” so just because something is labelled healthy doesn’t mean that it is. And generally-speaking, if a food was “all natural” it would not be packaged in a box with an ingredients label.
The food industry also has somehow convinced us that it takes too long to cook a meal from scratch. I know, I used to believe that lie! It’s really not much trouble to grill a chicken breast and some vegetables and serve it with a salad. In fact, in the amount of time it took me to serve up a dinner of processed foods, I was able to serve up a much tastier and far healthier meal of real food to my family — and the rewards are tremendous.
Dinner in my house typically is a grilled or roasted Protein with fresh grilled or roasted vegetables and a salad. Sometimes I’ll make a stir-fry served over quinoa, or a homemade Soup, or crockpot chili. These are all examples of how I make real food real simple in my home, and anyone can learn to cook like this. By the way, this is the way my daughter cooks for her family, too, as cooking skills whether good or bad are passed down from generation to generation. What cooking skills are you teaching your children?
I use some minimally-processed foods. I try to avoid at all costs those foods with any chemical ingredients, or ingredients list that contains more than 5 items. And I never bring any processed foods Desserts into my home, such as boxed cake mixes, frozen donuts, brownies from the supermarket bakery aisle. If I want dessert then I have to make it from scratch and that’s fairly involved. Because it’s so much work I won’t make dessert every day; heck I won’t even make it once a month! You won’t, either.
Living larger than ever,
My Bariatric Life
www.mybariatriclife.org

Oh, it's this thread again!
Be careful there, bud. People don't take too kindly to asking them to use proper punctuation and grammar 'round these parts.

Well, their must be a way to stop this maddness.
I mean if people only reed there posts the world wood be a better place.
Write?

Many people posting on here appear to need this. I have plenty, so I will share with anyone who needs it!
"
"
There. It's a big chunk of spaces and line breaks! You can use these to end paragraphs, begin new sentences and even change the thoughts you are trying to communicate!
But wait! There's more! Take advantage of this one time offer and I will throw in the complete set of standard English punctuation!
, . ? ! & ( ) : " ; '
And if you order in the next 5 minutes, I will show you how to disable the CAPS LOCK KEY!
All joking aside, I realize this is a web forum and it is meant to be more casual and laid back, but if you put just a little effort into making your posts easier to read, you will not only get more replies to your threads, you will most likely get better replies as well.

I have a few NSV's to share! First, I started back to school Tuesday and I did NOT wear scrubs to school! (If you read one of my last trending post you will understand that) I actually went clothes shopping and bought some real school clothes including a size 8 in jeans!! Also, for the last two days in class I didn't wear a jacket, I didn't even bring one which is astonishing even to me because I ALWAYS have something to cover up with. Jackets are something of a security blanket to cover arms, stomach, any back fat I may have had (imaginary or not). It's a wonderful feeling to not feel self-concious while in the seated position. I can focus on my instructor instead of worrying if everything's covered and not poking out. Lastly while at Walgreens one of the lady's who works there came up to me and my daughter and said " I hope this doesn't sound rude but aren't you like half the size you use to be?" I just laughted and said yes I am, thank you! Then on the way home I started thinking dang how fat was I that the lady at Walgreens took notice Still pretty sweet NSV's if you ask me! Oh and I'm finally (34 years into life) getting braces! It's amazing how much you want to improve yourself even more when you feel good about yourself!

Thank you for all the responses and ideas!
My husband and I went on a hike on trails through the woods yesterday. I really enjoyed that! There are few trails like that, so for now we'll stick to that one until we find other trails.