Dabliss111114

I found myself back in the dating scene about 16 years ago after a divorce. I really wasn't interested in dating all that much but I think I needed validation that I still could be found attractive and worthy of being cared about in spite of the extra weight I was carrying. I actually had lost about 40 pounds and wasn't nearly as heavy as I was when I had my surgery this fall.
I went out with several guys and found out the hard way that in general men have little or no interest in being with someone that they consider to be too heavy. I had one guy that told me that even though he really cared about me and wanted more, he would end it if I got any heavier. Goodbye bozo
Another guy came right out and told me that he "usually doesn't even consider dating women my size", but that if I was interested in dating him I'd do something about my weight. Goodbye bozo #2
I stopped dating all together for about 2 years and pretty much decided I was done with men, then I met my current husband. He was totally different. He made it very clear that no one should judge people for their outside, but rather look to the person inside. He needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds when we met, and together we did manage to lose some weight before we got married 9 years ago. I started having health issues about 4 years ago and got really heavy. When I talked to him about having the surgery he was totally supportive and wanted me healthy more than anything else. Now, my starting to look "good" is a bonus as far as he's concerned.
Life's too short to date jerks. There's already too many women who try to change themselves for some guy. If you've had the surgery hopefully you've done it for yourself and your health. Looking great no matter what your age is the big bonus!!!! I'm 62 and still have some "sexy" left in me!!!

I know I'm probably going to be preaching to the choir but here goes.
I too am on my way to a much healthier life filled with compliments and praises from people who see the difference. They don't see the loose skin or the jiggle of the fat that still needs to be lost. Exercise helps with muscle tone and strength, but fat will only break down so fast, and not overnight. It's ok by me because I know that in the end I'll not only look better/different, but will be healthier than I've been in nearly 20 yrs.
We're left with yet another physical issue to contend with....all the extra skin, and how it can also have a huge impact on how we view ourselves. Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled beyond belief to have had the opportunity to have my surgery, and that so many strides have been made in the area of obesity in general.
Here's my issue..... Insurance companies have finally gotten to a point where they'll pay for the WLS but still lag behind in agreeing to cover the surgery needed to complete the process of our transformations. Right now plastics is only covered if it can be proven that there's a "medical" reason for having it such as infection or pain. I wonder about how many WLS patients have just as much emotional pain as they did before surgery because of the residual skin and the inability to get past how it may affect their lives. If the goal is to promote good health in general, where does mental and emotional health come into play? Surely the majority of patients that look into having plastics done aren't doing it because of vanity!!!
I remember years ago when having varicose vein surgery was considered "cosmetic" and also not covered by insurance. Now just about every procedure involving spider and varicose veins is covered. Women all over that have a tiny blue vein around an ankle or behind a knee are running to surgeons to get them fixed, and insurance pays for it. Am I wrong to think that WLS if far more deserving of a plastic surgery procedure that is made necessary because of a medically necessary WLS????
Just wondering....

I know I'm probably going to be preaching to the choir but here goes.
I too am on my way to a much healthier life filled with compliments and praises from people who see the difference. They don't see the loose skin or the jiggle of the fat that still needs to be lost. Exercise helps with muscle tone and strength, but fat will only break down so fast, and not overnight. It's ok by me because I know that in the end I'll not only look better/different, but will be healthier than I've been in nearly 20 yrs.
We're left with yet another physical issue to contend with....all the extra skin, and how it can also have a huge impact on how we view ourselves. Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled beyond belief to have had the opportunity to have my surgery, and that so many strides have been made in the area of obesity in general.
Here's my issue..... Insurance companies have finally gotten to a point where they'll pay for the WLS but still lag behind in agreeing to cover the surgery needed to complete the process of our transformations. Right now plastics is only covered if it can be proven that there's a "medical" reason for having it such as infection or pain. I wonder about how many WLS patients have just as much emotional pain as they did before surgery because of the residual skin and the inability to get past how it may affect their lives. If the goal is to promote good health in general, where does mental and emotional health come into play? Surely the majority of patients that look into having plastics done aren't doing it because of vanity!!!
I remember years ago when having varicose vein surgery was considered "cosmetic" and also not covered by insurance. Now just about every procedure involving spider and varicose veins is covered. Women all over that have a tiny blue vein around an ankle or behind a knee are running to surgeons to get them fixed, and insurance pays for it. Am I wrong to think that WLS if far more deserving of a plastic surgery procedure that is made necessary because of a medically necessary WLS????
Just wondering....

I know I'm probably going to be preaching to the choir but here goes.
I too am on my way to a much healthier life filled with compliments and praises from people who see the difference. They don't see the loose skin or the jiggle of the fat that still needs to be lost. Exercise helps with muscle tone and strength, but fat will only break down so fast, and not overnight. It's ok by me because I know that in the end I'll not only look better/different, but will be healthier than I've been in nearly 20 yrs.
We're left with yet another physical issue to contend with....all the extra skin, and how it can also have a huge impact on how we view ourselves. Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled beyond belief to have had the opportunity to have my surgery, and that so many strides have been made in the area of obesity in general.
Here's my issue..... Insurance companies have finally gotten to a point where they'll pay for the WLS but still lag behind in agreeing to cover the surgery needed to complete the process of our transformations. Right now plastics is only covered if it can be proven that there's a "medical" reason for having it such as infection or pain. I wonder about how many WLS patients have just as much emotional pain as they did before surgery because of the residual skin and the inability to get past how it may affect their lives. If the goal is to promote good health in general, where does mental and emotional health come into play? Surely the majority of patients that look into having plastics done aren't doing it because of vanity!!!
I remember years ago when having varicose vein surgery was considered "cosmetic" and also not covered by insurance. Now just about every procedure involving spider and varicose veins is covered. Women all over that have a tiny blue vein around an ankle or behind a knee are running to surgeons to get them fixed, and insurance pays for it. Am I wrong to think that WLS if far more deserving of a plastic surgery procedure that is made necessary because of a medically necessary WLS????
Just wondering....

I know I'm probably going to be preaching to the choir but here goes.
I too am on my way to a much healthier life filled with compliments and praises from people who see the difference. They don't see the loose skin or the jiggle of the fat that still needs to be lost. Exercise helps with muscle tone and strength, but fat will only break down so fast, and not overnight. It's ok by me because I know that in the end I'll not only look better/different, but will be healthier than I've been in nearly 20 yrs.
We're left with yet another physical issue to contend with....all the extra skin, and how it can also have a huge impact on how we view ourselves. Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled beyond belief to have had the opportunity to have my surgery, and that so many strides have been made in the area of obesity in general.
Here's my issue..... Insurance companies have finally gotten to a point where they'll pay for the WLS but still lag behind in agreeing to cover the surgery needed to complete the process of our transformations. Right now plastics is only covered if it can be proven that there's a "medical" reason for having it such as infection or pain. I wonder about how many WLS patients have just as much emotional pain as they did before surgery because of the residual skin and the inability to get past how it may affect their lives. If the goal is to promote good health in general, where does mental and emotional health come into play? Surely the majority of patients that look into having plastics done aren't doing it because of vanity!!!
I remember years ago when having varicose vein surgery was considered "cosmetic" and also not covered by insurance. Now just about every procedure involving spider and varicose veins is covered. Women all over that have a tiny blue vein around an ankle or behind a knee are running to surgeons to get them fixed, and insurance pays for it. Am I wrong to think that WLS if far more deserving of a plastic surgery procedure that is made necessary because of a medically necessary WLS????
Just wondering....

Everyone's suggestions are spot on, but I want to add a little tip that has helped me these past few weeks. I am getting closer to goal and am not seeing the huge losses every month like I use to.
After reading a research article about the antioxidants in black coffee decreasing cravings/appetite, I decided to integrate the tip into my diet. I changed my biggest meal to the middle of the day and drank 1-2 cups of black coffee during the late afternoon (3-4 PM). This decreased my need to snack in the evening or have a bigger than intended dinner.
By the way, the coffee has to be black because cream or milk neutralizes the effectiveness of the antioxidants.

@@Aube, below is a "typical" day's menu:
As for carbs, mostly I get them from my shakes, Greek yogurt, and the very limited veggies I'm able to fit in after my Protein. Other doctors and nutritionists give you carb targets, but my doctor just says to limit them as much as possible. If you're not logging your food yet, I'd suggest using http://www.myfitnesspal.com/. It helps you keep track of your Protein and fluids, but also can help you figure out if anything is going off track and affecting your weight loss.
Okay, here's an example of my day:
I keep a 2-quart jug and a 24-oz Tervis tumbler (with a handle) both at home and at work. I count my morning Protein shake as a meal, not a Fluid. (Premier Protein - 30 grams of protein) 30-60 minutes later, I have a cup of coffee. (Count it as a Fluid if you like.) After that, I drink a 24-oz. tumbler of Decaf, sugar-free iced tea, like Crystal Light throughout the morning. (Lots of frequent sips) Then I walk for 40+ minutes. Then it's lunchtime - tuna salad or chicken salad, or leftover protein from dinner. (16-22 grams of protein) and maybe a bite of veggies if there's room. About 45 minutes after lunch, I'll fill another 24-oz tumbler of iced tea and sip that throughout the afternoon, finishing by 30 minutes before my afternoon snack.< /li> At around 4:00 or 4:30, my afternoon snack is usually a Greek yogurt (12 grams of protein) or some leftovers. (This is also a good time to get in some veggies or a V-8 if you're getting enough protein at other times.) Maybe a cup of hot tea in the later afternoon. (Count it as a fluid you like.) Then dinner – again, getting 20-25 grams of protein from lean steak, fish, chicken, or pork, and maybe a bite or two of veggies. Finally, another 24-oz cup of iced tea or Water 30-45 minutes after dinner that I sip throughout the evening. If I'm hungry later, sugar-free Jello, pudding, or popsicles are good. And if I'm short on protein or still hungry, another yogurt or Protein Shake. (I'm not worried about the calories because this menu only provides 700-900 per day.) All my Snacks are protein-based (nuts, Jerky, cheese, yogurt) So that's 70+ grams of protein and 72+ ounces of fluid, with some exercise as well. If you have a regular enough schedule, you can follow it every day. If not, maybe a modified version will work. The big trick is in pre-planning your meals and your fluids, especially if you're going to be away from home or work. In those cases, I always make sure there will be something I can eat, or I bring along a Protein shake or some kind of meat to carry me through. I've also gotten pretty good at restaurant eating. I avoid the bread and salad, order chicken, steak, lamb, fish, or pork, trade in the starch for a second veggie, skip the dessert.... and end up taking half of the meat, and almost all of the veggies home. I know we need to learn to eat "normally", but I'm not there yet – especially when it comes to carbs. When I get to goal weight, I'll work on finding my new low-carb "normal". Hope that helps! Rog

I'm going to second what liannatx is saying. Weight/measure your food and really watch your macro-nutrients. Get your Protein in an keep those carbs low. I'm not sure a sample menu is going to really help because our tastes are all so different.
I try to keep it very simple to the point of boring because if I get too fancy, my calories go up. A lot of my meals are just 3oz of boneless, skinless chicken breast, a couple ounces of steamed broccoli and an egg white. Whatever you choose, make sure you're measuring to be sure you're not eating too much and then document it.
I was on a LONG stall. For 3 months I was stuck at a weight only losing and then regaining the same 3 pounds. It was CRAZY to me. I realize I wasn't truly gaining weight because I wasn't eating more than 800-1000 calories a day let alone the 3500 it takes to gain a pound. But when we take in calories we store excess either as fat or glycogen. To gain a pound of fat it takes an excess 3500 calories BUT each gram of glycogen is accompanied by 3 grams of Water so that's why we see these spikes when we weigh ourselves frequently especially if we've taken in a lot of sodium.
The reason I'd stalled so long was because I thought I didn't NEED to exercise. By a metabolic rate calculator says my BMR should be 2077 calories a day. So if I'm eating 800 calories I should be burning (just sitting around) 1200 calories more than I am taking in. So that should be a pound every 3 days. Guess what? Not happening. No matter what the BMR says, it wasn't happening and my stubborn and foolish self fought it. I INSISTED it SHOULD be that way. Maybe it should, but it wasn't. I started walking on a treadmill just 20 minutes a day at first and in just a couple of weeks I'm down 16 pounds. I'm still eating exactly the same but the small amount of exercise has been making the difference.
Are you exercising?

@Day. I hear you and I understand. Never in my life have I had such continuous, volatile emotions! I am 100% happy 80% of the time, because I have never looked or felt this good. But then I look at the batwings, the tummy apron and the thighs that look like melted candles, and I can't stop obsessing over getting the skin removed. But how to pay?
Its been so long since I contemplated an intimate relationship because of the weight. Now I feel that the skin is a barrier. I'm hoping that if I meet Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now), it won't matter. After all, I am 57 and men in my age group should be realistic at our age anyway. Guys -- am I right?
Ellen

<----------- is single and available!!! :-)

From a man's standpoint.....why does it matter what you USED to be. No one is perfect and we all have a past and a little baggage. I don't know what those men were looking for ......but hey....it's THEIR LOSS!!!

it is undeniable. when you see a single man in their late 30's and 40's you have to understand the reason they haven't found someone else is because they are assholes masquerading as men. their problems are so deep-rooted they can't be fixed by even the greatest compassion. Now i don't mean this of all men, just close to it. There are a few that were able to overcome their past problems, but not that many. Id like to give you wonderful ladies the five warning signs of an asshole male. here they are in no particular order.
1. He thinks a bar is an appropriate romantic date destination.
2. He has children from different women and doesn't pay child support to any of them.
3. He has other women's names ( not his mothers) tattooed on his body and shows them to you.
4. He doesn't own a tie or a suit, and thinks a tuxedo was the t-shirt he wore to the prom.
5. He tells you how to improve yourself or your life.
if you witness these things, run, do not walk, just get away. It's just not worth it.

Wow...I can relate to so much of this! I dated a guy that was like #3 and that ended because he was upset/pissed that I didn't tell him about my surgery when we first started dating (seriously? that's not something you bring up on the first few dates) and also was judging me the same way (how did you let yourself get so fat, etc?). He was a hardcore gymmer and always working out. Glad that ended because he criticized me on so many other things as well....was a jerk, and found out how he was a bigger jerk :/
The guy I'm dating now doesn't care and is very supportive....seen my scars as well. Let's see how this goes *fingers crossed*

We broke up. I love people now and I let people love me.

I noticed is that the thought of Pasta, bread and rice bring an image of gooey paste in my mind. They told me that those things gum up and can get stuck easily in the beginning. So that image is very vivid in my mind. I still have a few bites of Pasta with veggies every once in a while. But I stop when I think about it.
I don't crave cheeseburgers, pizza, nachos much anymore. I might have a little bite of the topping of a pizza or a bite of a cheeseburger without the bread. But one bite is enough to realize its not healthy for me and it doesn't taste as good as I remember it once did.
I honestly crave veggies now. When I am asked to go out to dinner I start thinking about what kind of roasted veggies I can get. I think that eating healthy for so long now has actually made me start craving healthy over the unhealthy way I used to eat.

I found myself back in the dating scene about 16 years ago after a divorce. I really wasn't interested in dating all that much but I think I needed validation that I still could be found attractive and worthy of being cared about in spite of the extra weight I was carrying. I actually had lost about 40 pounds and wasn't nearly as heavy as I was when I had my surgery this fall.
I went out with several guys and found out the hard way that in general men have little or no interest in being with someone that they consider to be too heavy. I had one guy that told me that even though he really cared about me and wanted more, he would end it if I got any heavier. Goodbye bozo
Another guy came right out and told me that he "usually doesn't even consider dating women my size", but that if I was interested in dating him I'd do something about my weight. Goodbye bozo #2
I stopped dating all together for about 2 years and pretty much decided I was done with men, then I met my current husband. He was totally different. He made it very clear that no one should judge people for their outside, but rather look to the person inside. He needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds when we met, and together we did manage to lose some weight before we got married 9 years ago. I started having health issues about 4 years ago and got really heavy. When I talked to him about having the surgery he was totally supportive and wanted me healthy more than anything else. Now, my starting to look "good" is a bonus as far as he's concerned.
Life's too short to date jerks. There's already too many women who try to change themselves for some guy. If you've had the surgery hopefully you've done it for yourself and your health. Looking great no matter what your age is the big bonus!!!! I'm 62 and still have some "sexy" left in me!!!

You and me both. I had RNY in Nov. 2014 and I'm 62. I'm down 75 pounds and feel better than I have in almost 20 years. I plan to rock all the fantastic clothes that I've been deprived of wearing for way too many years. Chico's here I come!!!

I found myself back in the dating scene about 16 years ago after a divorce. I really wasn't interested in dating all that much but I think I needed validation that I still could be found attractive and worthy of being cared about in spite of the extra weight I was carrying. I actually had lost about 40 pounds and wasn't nearly as heavy as I was when I had my surgery this fall.
I went out with several guys and found out the hard way that in general men have little or no interest in being with someone that they consider to be too heavy. I had one guy that told me that even though he really cared about me and wanted more, he would end it if I got any heavier. Goodbye bozo
Another guy came right out and told me that he "usually doesn't even consider dating women my size", but that if I was interested in dating him I'd do something about my weight. Goodbye bozo #2
I stopped dating all together for about 2 years and pretty much decided I was done with men, then I met my current husband. He was totally different. He made it very clear that no one should judge people for their outside, but rather look to the person inside. He needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds when we met, and together we did manage to lose some weight before we got married 9 years ago. I started having health issues about 4 years ago and got really heavy. When I talked to him about having the surgery he was totally supportive and wanted me healthy more than anything else. Now, my starting to look "good" is a bonus as far as he's concerned.
Life's too short to date jerks. There's already too many women who try to change themselves for some guy. If you've had the surgery hopefully you've done it for yourself and your health. Looking great no matter what your age is the big bonus!!!! I'm 62 and still have some "sexy" left in me!!!

I found myself back in the dating scene about 16 years ago after a divorce. I really wasn't interested in dating all that much but I think I needed validation that I still could be found attractive and worthy of being cared about in spite of the extra weight I was carrying. I actually had lost about 40 pounds and wasn't nearly as heavy as I was when I had my surgery this fall.
I went out with several guys and found out the hard way that in general men have little or no interest in being with someone that they consider to be too heavy. I had one guy that told me that even though he really cared about me and wanted more, he would end it if I got any heavier. Goodbye bozo
Another guy came right out and told me that he "usually doesn't even consider dating women my size", but that if I was interested in dating him I'd do something about my weight. Goodbye bozo #2
I stopped dating all together for about 2 years and pretty much decided I was done with men, then I met my current husband. He was totally different. He made it very clear that no one should judge people for their outside, but rather look to the person inside. He needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds when we met, and together we did manage to lose some weight before we got married 9 years ago. I started having health issues about 4 years ago and got really heavy. When I talked to him about having the surgery he was totally supportive and wanted me healthy more than anything else. Now, my starting to look "good" is a bonus as far as he's concerned.
Life's too short to date jerks. There's already too many women who try to change themselves for some guy. If you've had the surgery hopefully you've done it for yourself and your health. Looking great no matter what your age is the big bonus!!!! I'm 62 and still have some "sexy" left in me!!!

I've read all the posts in this thread and if I were you I'd only pay attention to about half of them. Don't worry about apologizing for what you said your meant. Some people that come off as being harsh really do mean well, and obviously none of us has all the answers. If we did, we wouldn't be asking for information or support on this site.
Yes, stalls do exist and they can be called a number of different things. I think all the reasons people have given for the possible reasons for the slowing down of weight loss are valid. Our bodies definitely have a mind of their own, and I'm learning that as frustrating as it is, we'll only lose as quickly as our own body will let the fat go.
At this point try to focus on the fact that if you're following the program you'll get to your goal eventually. My doctor is much like yours. He's a total jerk and talks down to everyone. He also says there's no such thing as a stall OR a plateau. He always question whether or not I'm doing what I should as far as Protein, fluids and exercise. I try not to let it bother me any more. There actually was an appointment right before my surgery where I almost left in tears. His nurses and my nutritionist assure me that I'm on track and not to worry so much about how many pounds I lose each week. They all look at the big picture and pay more attention to the fact that the scale IS moving in the right direction.
Hang in there, as I'm sure you're doing just fine. Keep positive thoughts and don't sweat the small stuff.

I found myself back in the dating scene about 16 years ago after a divorce. I really wasn't interested in dating all that much but I think I needed validation that I still could be found attractive and worthy of being cared about in spite of the extra weight I was carrying. I actually had lost about 40 pounds and wasn't nearly as heavy as I was when I had my surgery this fall.
I went out with several guys and found out the hard way that in general men have little or no interest in being with someone that they consider to be too heavy. I had one guy that told me that even though he really cared about me and wanted more, he would end it if I got any heavier. Goodbye bozo
Another guy came right out and told me that he "usually doesn't even consider dating women my size", but that if I was interested in dating him I'd do something about my weight. Goodbye bozo #2
I stopped dating all together for about 2 years and pretty much decided I was done with men, then I met my current husband. He was totally different. He made it very clear that no one should judge people for their outside, but rather look to the person inside. He needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds when we met, and together we did manage to lose some weight before we got married 9 years ago. I started having health issues about 4 years ago and got really heavy. When I talked to him about having the surgery he was totally supportive and wanted me healthy more than anything else. Now, my starting to look "good" is a bonus as far as he's concerned.
Life's too short to date jerks. There's already too many women who try to change themselves for some guy. If you've had the surgery hopefully you've done it for yourself and your health. Looking great no matter what your age is the big bonus!!!! I'm 62 and still have some "sexy" left in me!!!

I found myself back in the dating scene about 16 years ago after a divorce. I really wasn't interested in dating all that much but I think I needed validation that I still could be found attractive and worthy of being cared about in spite of the extra weight I was carrying. I actually had lost about 40 pounds and wasn't nearly as heavy as I was when I had my surgery this fall.
I went out with several guys and found out the hard way that in general men have little or no interest in being with someone that they consider to be too heavy. I had one guy that told me that even though he really cared about me and wanted more, he would end it if I got any heavier. Goodbye bozo
Another guy came right out and told me that he "usually doesn't even consider dating women my size", but that if I was interested in dating him I'd do something about my weight. Goodbye bozo #2
I stopped dating all together for about 2 years and pretty much decided I was done with men, then I met my current husband. He was totally different. He made it very clear that no one should judge people for their outside, but rather look to the person inside. He needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds when we met, and together we did manage to lose some weight before we got married 9 years ago. I started having health issues about 4 years ago and got really heavy. When I talked to him about having the surgery he was totally supportive and wanted me healthy more than anything else. Now, my starting to look "good" is a bonus as far as he's concerned.
Life's too short to date jerks. There's already too many women who try to change themselves for some guy. If you've had the surgery hopefully you've done it for yourself and your health. Looking great no matter what your age is the big bonus!!!! I'm 62 and still have some "sexy" left in me!!!

I found myself back in the dating scene about 16 years ago after a divorce. I really wasn't interested in dating all that much but I think I needed validation that I still could be found attractive and worthy of being cared about in spite of the extra weight I was carrying. I actually had lost about 40 pounds and wasn't nearly as heavy as I was when I had my surgery this fall.
I went out with several guys and found out the hard way that in general men have little or no interest in being with someone that they consider to be too heavy. I had one guy that told me that even though he really cared about me and wanted more, he would end it if I got any heavier. Goodbye bozo
Another guy came right out and told me that he "usually doesn't even consider dating women my size", but that if I was interested in dating him I'd do something about my weight. Goodbye bozo #2
I stopped dating all together for about 2 years and pretty much decided I was done with men, then I met my current husband. He was totally different. He made it very clear that no one should judge people for their outside, but rather look to the person inside. He needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds when we met, and together we did manage to lose some weight before we got married 9 years ago. I started having health issues about 4 years ago and got really heavy. When I talked to him about having the surgery he was totally supportive and wanted me healthy more than anything else. Now, my starting to look "good" is a bonus as far as he's concerned.
Life's too short to date jerks. There's already too many women who try to change themselves for some guy. If you've had the surgery hopefully you've done it for yourself and your health. Looking great no matter what your age is the big bonus!!!! I'm 62 and still have some "sexy" left in me!!!

You and me both. I had RNY in Nov. 2014 and I'm 62. I'm down 75 pounds and feel better than I have in almost 20 years. I plan to rock all the fantastic clothes that I've been deprived of wearing for way too many years. Chico's here I come!!!

I found myself back in the dating scene about 16 years ago after a divorce. I really wasn't interested in dating all that much but I think I needed validation that I still could be found attractive and worthy of being cared about in spite of the extra weight I was carrying. I actually had lost about 40 pounds and wasn't nearly as heavy as I was when I had my surgery this fall.
I went out with several guys and found out the hard way that in general men have little or no interest in being with someone that they consider to be too heavy. I had one guy that told me that even though he really cared about me and wanted more, he would end it if I got any heavier. Goodbye bozo
Another guy came right out and told me that he "usually doesn't even consider dating women my size", but that if I was interested in dating him I'd do something about my weight. Goodbye bozo #2
I stopped dating all together for about 2 years and pretty much decided I was done with men, then I met my current husband. He was totally different. He made it very clear that no one should judge people for their outside, but rather look to the person inside. He needed to lose 20 or 30 pounds when we met, and together we did manage to lose some weight before we got married 9 years ago. I started having health issues about 4 years ago and got really heavy. When I talked to him about having the surgery he was totally supportive and wanted me healthy more than anything else. Now, my starting to look "good" is a bonus as far as he's concerned.
Life's too short to date jerks. There's already too many women who try to change themselves for some guy. If you've had the surgery hopefully you've done it for yourself and your health. Looking great no matter what your age is the big bonus!!!! I'm 62 and still have some "sexy" left in me!!!