shirleyblanchard

I am new here. My husband is a week post op and doing very well. He had the gastric sleeve procedure and has already lost 30 lbs!
Anyway, I am on an emotional roller coaster. I am a high school culinary arts teacher. I have been cooking properly/healthy for the last two years. I am mourning HIS loss of food, and straws! Stupid, I know.
All of the support groups his dr offers are for the patient-not the spouse or family. Yes, these people are invited to attend with the patient but I need something geared toward the spouse. I am the one that prepares all of his meals and since I have failed already (since he went ahead with the surgery that means I failed!) I don't want to fail again.
Yes I know this is NOT about me but our family is on the most extreme diet of our lives and we all need to be on board. We have always jumped on the diet bandwagon and this one is a locomotive!!!

Shirley,
I know completely how you feel! My boyfriend of 5 years is having his sleeve surgery in 2 days and feel SO overwhelmed! I, too, was searching for a support group just like he has but for significant others. It is a HUGE lifestyle change that the whole family must be willing to commit to. Congrats to him on the weight loss so far!! I'm here if you ever want to chat or just get something off your chest that's what supportive people are for!! And, if you happen to find that support group give me a shout!!
Good luck and I wish you both all the best!

I am new here. My husband is a week post op and doing very well. He had the gastric sleeve procedure and has already lost 30 lbs!
Anyway, I am on an emotional roller coaster. I am a high school culinary arts teacher. I have been cooking properly/healthy for the last two years. I am mourning HIS loss of food, and straws! Stupid, I know.
All of the support groups his dr offers are for the patient-not the spouse or family. Yes, these people are invited to attend with the patient but I need something geared toward the spouse. I am the one that prepares all of his meals and since I have failed already (since he went ahead with the surgery that means I failed!) I don't want to fail again.
Yes I know this is NOT about me but our family is on the most extreme diet of our lives and we all need to be on board. We have always jumped on the diet bandwagon and this one is a locomotive!!!

I was excited to see this category but a little disappointed thre isn't a lot being posted.. My husband will get his band on 1/6/14, 3 days from now.
I think I feel more overwhelmed than he does. Being the wife I have the feeling of the caretaker, and even though he should be totally responsible for how well he progresses, I fear that its going to be a battle.
I kind of feel that through the whole process leading up to the surgery that the spouse should be included and maybe even required to attend the meetings with nutritionist, trainer, doctor etc..
Some of you think probably that this is their surgery and weight loss, but if you're married to someone that is going to be making this drastic lifestyle transformation, you know we will be or should be totally involved.
I wonder if their are others that feel like this or do you think I am being negative? Sometimes I do have that tendency. I might also mention if any of you are curious, We have been married for 34 years, my weight is 160, about 20 lbs over my ideal weight.

LadyG, I think you'll find plenty of support here, on youtube and on Facebook -- more than you might think.
Welcome to this forum.
And try to breathe a little deeper. The change will seem unfamiliar, but things will keep changing the next year. The "new permanent" will take a long time to evolve.

Dear Rockin
I'm also a spouse, my husband was sleeved July 7. I'm not sure if this gets easier for the spouse. Our doctor and nutritionist both said that the surgery is the easy part, the work that comes after is the hard part, the life changing part. I think this extends to the spouse. I think that for the spouse we have a lot of the same worries as the patient pre-op; during surgery they are asleep and we worry, have fears, are stressed; and post-op have a different set of concerns as care taker and supporter. There are so many supports for the patient (family, friends, online support groups, local support groups), but very little for the spouse. Continue being an advocate, Im glad you caught the infection early.