bellabloom

Yes of course. Everyone has a set point that their body wants to be. People are made in a wide variety and there is no reason to try and be super skinny!!! Focus on getting to a place you are comfortable.

Then again people will say all sorts of stupid ****. My mom once told me I'm not meant to have thin thighs. Well, now I have a thigh gap! So there mom.

Our bodies can change dramatically through weight loss. Everyone, and I mean everyone, can get skinny under the right conditions. But that doesn't necessarily mean they are healthy.

Your ideal set point weight is probably whatever weight you were BEFORE you began dieting and most effortlessly in your life. For many that is your weight in your late teens.

For me this was about 130. I'm 5'6.

I would most definitely consider surgery in Mexico. In Tijuana there is hospital CER that specializes in bariatric surgery!! It's beautiful!!!

How funny - just noticed we are almost exactly the same size with same goals!

Thanks bellabloom for the info! You look amazing!! I have decided to get a consult with Dr. Cardenas, can't wait to see what her recommendations are and possibly book surgery!!!

What does courting entail? I was never taught these things. What is my end of the deal? If I court a woman, what should I expect in return? Men aren't very complicated. Either you like me or you don't.

Kinda sucks how the OPs post got hijacked.

I know where I live women in my age group with no kids are rare, but seriously I can't be all that special.
I've dated 2 College Professors, several business men (one owns a chain of sports bars locally), and a couple attorneys. All varying levels of fun. I met them all on Tinder. All of their credentials verified, none were frauds or creeps. Tinder has more confident people since it is all picture based and it has more "real" people since you have to link it to Facebook. I'm sure there are lots of people looking for hookups but I haven't came across them, they are pretty easy to weed out just swiping left or right on first impression. You can tell a dude that is just looking for some.
POF is full of losers. I've never done Match, I'm not looking to get married and guys on Match or more serious. e harmony just seems lame. Tinder has the most men, because you don't really have to make a profile, so it makes sense to go there. Thanks to OKPirate for that tip.
Compliments don't get my attention that much, because men always compliment. I like the guys that read my profile, understand what kind of music I like. And ask me out. I'm not will to text or have long drawn out conversations on an app. If they don't have time to go out soon, then it is just a waste of time. That is another quick and easy way to weed out who is serious. If they aren't asking about your availability they are probably married and bored or involved and just looking for someone to talk to while they are at work. A guy with a successful career doesn't have time to chat you up on an app for hours.
I want to use the internet as a fast track to meeting people, not for actual online dating. I'm not trying to end up on Catfish.

Because not all women are into the whole women's lib stuff. Some of us were raised that a gentleman holds the door, pays for the date, gives a girl his jacket if she's cold, etc. Personally, I prefer a dominant male. I want my male to be able to take charge. For me, it's a very sexy quality. Mind you, I also think any relationship should be a partnership. Plan the dates together. If you both can't come to an agreement on what the first date, or subsequent dates, should be then you probably have no business being together. So communicate with each other. That's what a good relationship should be based on anyway, in my opinion. Without that communication each person is left floundering around trying to decifer what the other wants or needs. Believe it or not, most people are not mind readers.

So, yes, I'm one of those women that want to be courted. I am a hopeless romantic that really would like to be swept off my feet by a man. But there's no way I would remotely expect that to be possible if the person I'm wanting to court me had no clue about my dietary restrictions. I actually have it in at least one of my profiles that I recently had weight loss surgery. I figure if I put that out there I have a chance of someone seeing me that's had it done themselves or know someone close to them thats had it done and can understand the restrictions and the activity level that is required or if they don't know what it entails, they can ask about it. But right now, since I'm only a month out, I'm just trying to avoid the whole meal thing just because I don't feel like messing with it. Set up a meet for coffee or tea. And pray they show up. But don't whine and gripe and complain about not being able to get a date without putting any effort into it. It's a two way street and if you message someone and they don't answer you, don't take it personally. My therapist told me to treat it like a game. Don't take someone not messaging you personally because that will just bring you down and make you depressed and make you feel rejected. People like that aren't worth a second glance. I've had to develop the "Well, it's their loss and they're missing out on all this awesome and that when the right someone comes around I pray that I'll recognize him.


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

I started a fake Match account as a woman seeking a man just so I could compare other guy's profiles to mine. No picture and I even wrote in the description this is not a real account (somehow that got by the staff at Match but I digress) and I have gotten a lot more attention with that account. A woman can walk outside with no top on and have plenty of male suitors lining up. I go outside with no pants on and I get arrested. Men are expected to make the move and approach women so all women have to do are sit back and pick their suitor. Not sure where my advantage comes in.

So. I'd say it's about even. It's a war out there baby cakes.

I started dating 6 months post op. I wish it could have been sooner but I was still really sick with complications. Sex after WLS was the best moment imaginable. Yasssssssssss girl. Hey now.

What is my advantage?

My surgery, my business who I tell upon meeting or not. These are first-second-third dates here, he's not proposing. I will reveal personal information about my health when I am good and ready. YMMV, but that's how I am doing this. I don't tell them my salary or my mommy issues on the first date either. There's honesty and there's oversharing too soon.

I'm not asking anyone to cater to my restrictions, either. I simply want to have suggestions on hand for other things to do besides going out to eat so I can steer the interactions that way.

Love live music. I have done a lot of concert dates, those are probably my favorites. I'm also adding paddleboarding to the list.

OMI- I like that you make them choose the dates. After about the first or second, I expect them to do that otherwise I dump them too.

Absolutely.

Revealing too much on the first few dates is not a great idea. For one thing, you don't even know if you are interested in them. Then some ****** is going around with private information about you. Wait until the relationship deserves that kind of personal information investment. It can also be overwhelming for people to know too much too soon. Get to know each other without all the past there hanging over everything.

Not to mention all the dung brains out there who don't know anything about this surgery or what it's like to struggle with weight. You cannot just trust everyone.

Get to know someone and go slow. Reveal as deserved and desired. In dating, go slow.

Plus, when I date a guy I want to know if he is s superficial a*****e. I've had so many guys start talking trash on over weight women in front of me now that I am thin. I hate that and it helps me see their true colors of they do it, assuming I've always been thin. Jerks.

I kind of judge guys on the kinds of dates they take me on. If I'm not asking, I shouldn't have to plan. If a guy can't come up with a good date that allows me to actually get to know him and he isn't trying to impress me, there is no future in the relationship.
I'm saying it like that because I want someone that is active and likes doing activities and doesn't plan dates that revolve around meals, which is boring to me. I was like this with dating before surgery. I want to do an activity so I can make a judgement on their personality. dinner is too easy/boring.
Anyway, I like concerts and outdoor events. I get to evaluate how they act in public, how they react to crowds, if they will protect me and treat me like a lady, how good they are with parking and other things. Basically I can see how the act under slight pressure, early on, without having to date them and waste my time.
Also you kind of can't plan a date for a man because you don't know their finances. How creative they are with a date tells you a lot about them.

I went on a date recently with someone and he decided on a whim that he wanted to take me out for sushi. I tried to suggest something else, but he was hungry. I ordered a few pieces of sashimi and ate the fish without the rice and told him I'm low-carbing it. But I spent so much time chewing it into a paste that I hardly talked, and since I only ate 3 pieces, he noticed and asked me what was up. I just told him I wasn't hungry to begin with, and it seemed fine from there. But I don't want to keep having these awkward interactions.
I don't tell people about surgery. If I get into a more serious relationship, I'll reveal it, but I am still uncomfortable with people knowing yet.
So give me some fun date ideas that don't involve going out to eat! I have had a blast mini-golfing on a date, and going to the batting cages. But I'm here to gather ideas so I can have good suggestions on hand the next time someone suggests we go out to dinner. Give me your favorites.

I've been on lots of dates since my surgery. I've been completely honest on some of them- the guys didn't care at all. Others I've tried to hide it- they thought I was anorexic or something. These days - 2.75 years later, I just try and order something small I can eat. I just say I don't eat a lot. Mostly have appetizers. No one seems to notice.

Foods that work for me eating out:

Clam chowder
Soups
Salads
Fried calamari
Sharing their entree
Smaller Entrees

Bellabloom id love to hear more! Thank you. I'm in CA so Tijuana is doable! How do I search your posts?

I had a neck lift with muscle tightening, I had a Tummy Tuck with muscle repair, and a breast lift without an implant.

In the end it was about 13,500... I also had filler put in my lips which I love.

I'm going back in sept for fat to my cheeks and buttocks.

How long did it take you to lose your weight?

Sent from my SM-G900V using BariatricPal mobile app

It is nice to read a couple of positive reviews about this doctor. She piqued my interest a while back but then I read a very negative review about her, basically describing her practice to be run like some dirty clinic down a back alley way. I have no idea about the legitimacy of the review as I did not know the reviewer... knowing that some people write false reviews, I still was left with a feeling of alarm (the woman's post was very detailed). Probably because I was friendly with another patient who had a fabulous result with Cardenas. She ended up getting an infection and after that she changed her name from BubbleGumBooty to something else (I cannot recall) and stopped posting. So, it made me wonder about the first patient's claim of a dirty clinic.
Well, I don't know that I've provided help or not. Surely there are surgeons in the US whose patients have complications, too (I was one of them!). There are a number of reviews about Cardenas on RealSelf and I am sure you can PM some of those patients and get your questions answered.
Good luck with your decision.

I was frightened to have plastic surgery in Mexico but after looking at her website I have to say I'm impressed. I may use her for a full body lift once I reach my weight goal

First of all hunger isn't painful ,, starvation is painful .. and it take about 30 days for you to starve to death. Surgery is a tool that helps your body .. it doesn't fix your head. Hunger "pains" are normal and shouldn't be feared... You're not going to starve! We all need to break the cycle of thinking that if I have hunger pains I need to eat or, or ... or what? If you wake up hungry.. that's also completely normal. Whats not normal is eating like your going to the chair lol. I think when we get hungry, we eat with our eyes instead of our brains! You, as a WLS patient, only need 4-5 oz to feel full, 4-5 oz of food should make everyone else feel at least content, and if it doesn't there is something wrong with you, but its not because your starving or more importantly in pain.

Your profile pic look great! What was the cost for your procedures? Do you have before and after pics?

The cost for my procedures plus 6 days of aftercare with dr cardenas was about 13,500. I had a neck lift, Tummy Tuck, and breast lift.

She has a top notch facility. She is a former bariatric patient herself. I've never seen a more beautiful hospital than the one I stayed in. She has checked up with me daily post surgery. She is both highly skilled and an artist about the body.

Going to Mexico was the best decision I ever made, period.

Here are some pictures-  

I'm 4 weeks today. I don't have a gallbladder. Had it removed in 2010. This doesn't feel like that either. It's sharp pains that come in waves and lasted 5 to 10 minutes. I can't wait to feel normal again and not freak over every twinge I get.

It can happen. I relapsed into anorexia because of the surgery and at my low weight I weight 115 lbs at 5'6. I had to get into therapy.

After so many years of wanting to be thin, I discovered I couldn't stop wanting to lose. Losing gave me so much satisfaction and maintaining scared the crap out of me. I was addicted to the losing part because it felt safe.

Therapy helped me, ive now out back on 15 lbs, stopped dieting and am very healthy.

It will be okay. Don't worry. Deal with it if and when it happens

My face volume did fall a bit more than I wanted it too. I'm having my plastic surgeon so fat transfer to my cheeks in September.

It's not too bad but I do miss the roundness of my younger face.

Dr Carmina Cardenas in Tijuana. 100000000000%%%%%% amazing. You could not ask for a better surgeon and experience. I've posted about her plenty- check them out. You can pm me as well.