bellabloom

I've seen that too. But the people that marry are able to love each other for what's inside. I think that must just be a very rare quality to find.

I feel a lot of men are attracted to curvier larger women. A LOT. it's more about what you project. I've had men tell me they weren't attracted to me because I was/am too thin. Everyone has their type. Ultimately looks fade and people are attracted to a wide variety of shapes and sizes and it's the energy and positivity and confidence you project that matters.
Smile. Be confident. Own your body.
It's just a date! Enjoy your self. If someone doesn't like you based on looks you can still enjoy yourself and nice glass of wine and a conversation.

I'm not quite 2 year yet and now I know exactly why Vets stop posting. Pre-op it use to really puzzle me that so few long term people were active in WLS communities but now I totally get it.

1) New people ask the exact same thing that people have asked 1000 times before them. There is nothing wrong with them asking but it is tiring.

2) Personally I don't feel like a WLS surgery patient anymore. I eat normally, although in proper portions (the portions we eat are not small portions they are actual proper portion sizes). I can't really relate to post of the posts. There are things I could talk about with other people at my stage but none of them post, so, the site has little to offer me.

Without getting too far into it. [mention=235696]bellabloom[/mention] you told a lot of tall tales, admitted to them, and backtracked a ton of times. People calling you out on not being truthful is not bashing. I guess since everyone that used to post that remembers you left or was banned you feel like you can pop back up playing victim. I haven't forgot. If I get banned for saying it or my post gets edited. Whatever.

I told tall tales? And you know this because...???

I never said anything untruthful. What would be my motivation to make anything up anyway? What would be the point?

I had bypass. Had complications. My bypass was converted to a sleeve. I got a bad bad stricture. I relapsed into anorexia. I got therapy. Got my stricture dilated. I got even more therapy. Recovered from anorexia. Gave up dieting. Found balance. I have dumping with my sleeve.. but otherwise I'm well.

That's all true. What sounds TALL to you about that?

My story hasn't changed cause that's what happened. It sucked. I survived.

I simply told of my experiences. People didn't want to believe me because the complications I went through are rare... well that's up to them. But nothing I ever said was a lie. I don't know why you care anyway. You don't know me! I was never banned. I just took a break. a lot of people don't want to hear about potential complications when they begin this process and I don't blame them. But they do happen and happened to me. I went through a lot. And many people on here were very mean to me.

But it's okay. Water under the bridge. I'm just here to give support to whom I can.

Not everyone values thinness. I personally find overweight people very attractive. Post pictures of yourself having fun, dressed up cute, smiling. Show your personality. Don't assume it's about weight cause it isn't. I'm a wedding photographer and trust me I see people of all shapes and sizes getting married all the time!!

Great point.

I know they did, it was my own shame and sense of failure that I introduced into the relationship. Most people I come in contact with during my day and life, I simply don't care what they think. But there are those few that I care a lot about what they think of me, and so I add those dynamics above because of my insecurities matched with my love and respect for them. Not their fault, it is all my crazy trying to project the best me with 150 extra pounds on my body.

Thanks for your continued insight.

Only 1% of this wls journey is about weight. 99% of it is really about self care, self worth, self esteem. Those are the hard issues and if you don't work past them then wls is pointless. It sounds like you are getting to that introspective point and that's awesome.

Overweight people are usually perfectionists and extremely self critical. They have low self esteem and boundary issues and relationship issues. They have trouble embracing others and with intimacy. That's why therapy is an important part of this process. The weight will come off and it will challenge you to redefine who you are and how you think of yourself. It takes time. I can see you're well on your way and I'm happy for you. Keep going.

Try and let go of the shame and guilt for gaining weight. There are a multitude of reasons people gain weight and none of them reflect who you are as a quality human being. Being overweight is not a crime and does not make you a bad or weak or lesser person. Let go of the guilt. Love yourself, every inch, every pound, every choice, and forgive.

As I lose the weight, now down 70lbs, I expect more and more people to notice and make a positive comment about it. (The exact opposite thought when I was gaining my weight.)
I was with family and friends last week and their reaction was minimal. I was a little bothered by the lack of reaction, and then realized how hypocritical it is of me to want reactions now, but a few short months ago I did not want any attention given to my physical condition.
A- I am still 280, so it's not like I am skinny.
B- I am wearing smaller size clothes, so my stomach (flat tire) is still visible.
C- it's ok for now as I am only ½ way, and even if no one notices, I do and that is enough.
During that same week we went as a family to Knotts berry farm, I was able to fit on all the rides and roller coasters with my daughters which was a big deal to me personally. I am currently not a slave to my cravings and feel a since of freedom I haven't felt for a very long time.
Do I want people to still notice, yes. But it was a good lesson to learn, I don't need it.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

When I began to lose weight no one commented for quite some time. Then once I turned a certain corner the comments began and they made me feel a little weird to be honest. When you say WOW you've lost so much weight, you look so much better!! / it's likes saying that you looked like a moldy cheeseburger before or something. How do you compliment a persons weight without insulting them? Very difficult.
Then, even worse, when I lost A LOT of weight, the "you look sick, you look too thin, don't loose any more weight " comments began. Those hurt. Just the other day one of my best friends said "wow you look soooooo much better!!!l" I've gained 15 lbs a and yeah I look better. But it's like saying , wow you looked like **** before".

It's such an awkward compliment. Therefore I never comment on weight period. I say things like -
I love your outfit, your hairstyle, your smile is so pretty... I love your personality, you are a great friend. Etc. I compliment on choices people make like choosing a great top or success in a sport or job.

It's not that you don't look great and it's not that people don't notice. I'm sure they do. But they don't want to hurt your feelings and you know... your weight probably never mattered to them. Because they love 10000 other things about you.

You know you've done well and are getting fit and getting back in control of your life. Walk proud. Own it. Strut your stuff. The only person who's opinion matters is your own. Compliment yourself, daily.

Lol, I'm sure he noticed, but no sane man is bringing up anything about a woman's weight.

Hahaahahhahhaa. Well said.

That approach wouldn't work for me. There are foods I have to stay away from, or I get cravings and binge. Abstinence from certain foods and eating clean, nutritious foods is my maintenence approach. We all find what works for us!

I can see that you believe that. I also used to think that I had zero control around my trigger foods and those foods caused cravings for more of those foods.

To an extent this has some truth: a diet based only in sugar/carbs does lead to craving more carbs because your sugar levels drop and your body responds by asking for more to reach a stable level again. A carb laden diet lacking in other foods leads to an imbalance in blood sugar.

What fixes this is to follow your bodies natural cravings and eat balanced meals with carbs and Proteins and fats and Fiber. Those foods mix together to create blood sugar stability and satisfy your energy needs. When your energy needs are balanced you will find your urge to binge will go away.

When all food is allowed and permissible it becomes much less important and when you are adequately fed (and by that I mean ADEQUATELY fed, not 1800 calories fed) your binge urge will go away.

You may not believe me. I know it's a hard pill to swallow. But I am living proof.

When you eat mindfully you will naturally eat more nutrient dense food and your body will guide you towards health. There doesn't have to be effort involved. Our bodies are very very wise.

Obese people store fat in their liver, enlarging them (and causing non-alcoholic fatty liver disease).

The pre-op diet shrinks the liver to give the surgeon more room to work and make it less likely they'll accidentally damage the liver, which could be life threatening.

Oh, good to know. My doctor did not require one. Maybe it depends on bmi.

Well ... now there are new people that are becoming
Veterans every day... so this can be a safe place to just relax and talk about things that come up years down the road....
I suspect some leave from regains.....
Personally that is always challenging for me. Good months. Not so good months.
Ps. I do know there was some kerfuffle months back. But I am ignoring it.

Some regain is normal. I gained 15 lbs back from my lowest. Guess what? I don't care. This journey taught me there are more important things to worry about than weight. There is so much more to life. I hope anyone who has regained will be kind to themselves. Ones worth is not determined by ones waistline. Maybe some people leave because they just don't need to focus on weight any more.... like me. I let it go. Now I'm back to help others if I can. Let's keep this a positive place like julie said. Support. Always support. No judgement.

No, that's just not an option at first or surgery is pointless. When you have sleeve surgery you want it to be tight and to keep you from being able to eat. This is what stops you from eating. Over time, a couple years, your portion size will increase but it will never be quite the same.

If you are an emotional eater and a yo yo dieter who is co-dependent on food, I would suggest considering another option other than surgery. Your weight is not that high- mid thirties isn't crazy high at all. You still want to be able to enjoy food with your family.

Perhaps check into intuitive eating? It is a method of eating that helps you stop dieting, stop binging, stop emotional eating, gradually lose weight, and yet still be able to enjoy food you love and celebrations around food.

VSG is not for everyone. It is a life long drastic alteration to your body and unless you are vastly overweight to the point of danger or you are just so emotionally spent you need to take drastic measures, there are other alternatives to making peace with food and also weight loss.

Intuitive eating- you can buy the book on Amazon or google it.

Okay so... I dump A LOT. And yes... I have a sleeve. Yes you can dump with a sleeve.

Sugar isn't the only thing that can cause dumping- its sugar in ALL forms like bread, pasta... rice... think carbs. Carbs are complex sugars. In your body it's the same thing.

That said I love carbs and sugar and refuse to not eat them. So I live with some dumping episodes and life goes on. It sucks but it's worth it to me.

If you want to prevent dumping eat Protein and very little carbs. Dairy also has a lot of sugar.

Dumping can happen from putting fluids on top of solids and over filling your tummy. So don't do those things. And you won't dump. Mostly.

Or do them. I do. f**k it. I like food and I'm gonna enjoy my life so sometimes I dump. It is what it is. Sometimes the cheesecake is simply worth it

Anyway I can't really talk cause I just got lip fillers and I can't wait till everyone notices my new sexy pout. )))

Just walk sexy and be proud. You've earned it!!

I don't understand why doctors require pre-op diets. It's just unnecessary torture in my opinion. I'm sorry you feel so down. What other coping mechanism can you find besides food to cheer you up?

I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who has written. I think that we are all different & body chemistry can be different for all of us. I myself have been struggling with my weight since I was 11. I was diagnosed with PCOS at 13. I have had so many problems with my digestive system and weight ever since.
I went this route after recovering from a 10 year eating disorder & I continue to struggle with my own demons but I never want to go back there. This needs to work for me. I can't go back to an eating disorder or being the way I was.
I needed this support & I cannot tell you how much I appreciate everyone who commented! Thank you all so much!

Are you sure this is the right path for you? If your dealing with an eating disorder than a restrictive diet is really gonna mess with your head. What if you took the focus off food for a bit and just ate what felt right for your new stomach, got more active, got into the joys in life that make you happy... stress can have a huge effect on your body and metabolism. Is it so important that it happen at this moment? You sound unhappy. What can you focus on outside of food to give you more joy in this present place? Follow the guidelines for your surgery as you are able and stop obsessing. That's my advice. These things take time. Perhaps eating disorder therapy again as well?

I'm also in ed recovery so I empathize.

You have not dumped. I dumped once and it feels like you are going through a week of having the flu all speed up in 2-4 hours. It is pure hell with fever, chills and an all over pain.
You are on liquids, so liquids in, liquids out. Once you get on solid food your stools will firm.
I would avoid fiber at all costs. That is probably one of the few mistakes I made post op. I went from loose stools to Constipation and I feel like fiber set me back a lot physically and emotionally.
Also just because you don't feel like you are dying, doesn't mean that you didn't have major surgery, because you did. Your body needs time to adjust. Think about it, you had 85% of a major organ removed, your body is trying to figure out how to work with this new configuration.

Dumping feels different depending on the person and their reaction. For me it is extreme nausea and chills, shakiness and frequent urination, needing to lay down that lasts about 1/2 hour to an hour. For some it's the runs. Anyway... you may still dump but I don't think that is what's happening here.

Also... your body is ridding itself of some yucky food maybe... going into a fasting state. It's normal.

I don't think you are dumping either. While sleeve patients can get dumping (like me) none of the foods you listed should cause it. You may be having issues with the Protein Shakes. They give me the terrible shits too. Check and see if there are any sugar alcohols in your brand. If so change brands. In fact, just change brands. Or don't use them. Protein shakes can really give you the runs. Just focus on your liquids for now and soon you will be able to eat some soft Proteins that won't give you the shits. You won't hurt yourself for being low on protein for a little while, trust me.

Also maybe ditch the sugar free Jello.

Ask your doctor. Doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

Constipation can become a long term issue after wls. First off you should drop the narcotics. Go to Tylenol. Narcotics bind you up terribly and you should not need them by now.

Water in little sips through out the day. You can mix Metamucil into the Water or a little juice. Take colace if your doctor clears you for it.

Milk of magnesia works wonders if it gets bad again.

But mainly: no more narcotics, drink water, walk, take Fiber.

A bowel regime after surgery is essential. Mine is Metamucil every day, three capsules, water, and prune juice on occasion.

It will be a week or two before you feel like your healthy self. Just rest. Don't try and eat or drink too much. Little sips. Dixie cups. The point right now is to rest and not worry about food. Focus on little sips of Water.

Your body and emotions go through a lot of changes. So do your hormones. Relationships change as well. Give it time.

I think a lot of people leave because they are tired of being bashed by the newbies when they are sincerely trying to help. Then, there were a few messages from staff that also sort of championed the attitude that the vets were the issue here so MANY of them left immediately after those posts were written.

I am too freaking stubborn, but I will admit, it does get old.

I left because I was bashed upon a ton by others at my same stage, who are veterans now, like me. I believe that this is a journey that is different for everyone and we should practice empathy and kindness. A lot of "newbies" have poor pre-op support. There are more and more wls docs now and not all of them give nutritional advice. Also, the mindset of having to eat on a rigid diet type regime forever post surgery simply won't work. People reach their goal weight and regain when they try and do that.

During my weight loss I did not always follow the rules. I certainly cut my caloric intake but I was never a perfect patient. I still lost to my goal and then some. Perhaps I had an easier time because I did allow myself some leeway. This is not an all or nothing journey. It's really hard to expect someone to live on a diet 100% of the time forever and be able to have any real quality of life.

Newbies are looking for advice and we can give it to them and still be kind and have empathy. Maybe they won't lose all their weight. Maybe they will regain. Maybe they will suffer. That's their journey. Who ever said being overweight was a crime anyway? Props to them for trying and for asking for advice.

I feel a moderate approach is always best and I feel many of the vets on here are rude, patronizing, and just plain mean- all in the name of "tough love". You know what? Sometimes it's better to just give a little love. Weight issues are painful. Be kind.

I'm here to help who ever I can with what I've learned and I refuse to judge anyone else's life decisions.

Would u be willing to share some before and after photos?

Sure!

Keep in mind I just had surgery so these are still fresh wounds. You can read my whole review on real self.

Private message me and I'll send you a whole bunch

You look great! And i will keep that in mind, I have surgery next month, and we're the same height and similar starting weight, I'm a little more at about 270 but I was curious do/did you have lots of loose skin? I'm 20, so I'm hoping my age plays good in my favor lol but I haven't seen anyone on here with similar stats to ask!

I was 240 at 5'6. I carried most of my weight in my belly and chin and thighs. At 115 lbs I had loose belly apron skin, slightly loose arms and legs which improved over time and are now perfect, and some loose skin on my neck.

No I did not have a lot but you may have more being heavier but then again I'm 36 with less elasticity.

  

I was admitted to the ER today for Gastritis! Honestly, when I went in, I was just feeling shortness of breath. Afterwards, they ran some tests and made me take a liquid. After the liquid, I felt a hardness in my chest and definitely feel worse than when I went in there.

They said I have to change my diet... to not eat any spicy foods, a lot of Water (the only thing I drink) and you know the rest. Just basic healthy eating. I presume I got this from adding a lot of spice to my food but also these pills I took. They told me not to take them anymore.

Does anyone have experience with Gastritis??? If so, how long did it last? Any tips?

I had a lot of issues with gastritis in the beginning. It was caused by painkillers and too many acidic foods. I stayed on omenaprozele for several months and it healed. Most bariatric surgeons prescribe that by default. If yours doesn't you should consider taking them. They will work. Also no narcotics.

I get it quite often and I am a sleeve patient. I can get it from over eating, drinking while eating, too many carbs, etc. it's fairly unpredictable. A half hour of feeling like crap. That's what dumping is - joy to wls.