bellabloom

Hahahah. Thanks everyone. The post above mine is really cute.

I'm not into casual sex though. I end up getting attached.

I feel like I need to defend myself? But why bother. Fine, y'all think I'm desperate. I'm trying to fill a void....

I do enjoy the affirmation of dating but after about 100 first dates I think I've had more than my fill. I open to something more serious now. Tired of getting to know new people all the time.

I'm looking for someone I really like to have fun and regular sex with. Someone that will accept my body with its flaws... That would be awesome. I don't care about the "perfect man" because I know it doesn't exist. I want someone who is really funny, smart, has integrity, and is just cute enough to turn me on. The rest is all negligible.

I'm not going to be happy with my body wether I find someone or not until I have a Tummy Tuck and that's just a fact. I want a flat stomach. I've never had one and I want one bad.

I have been reading a lot of body positive things online trying to feel better about it in the meantime however. Honestly, who cares what a guy thinks. There are so many guys out there, if one doesn't like the way my body is than I'll find one that does. Personally I don't care much at all how a guys body looks so there are likely men who feel the same.

I've been dealing with some other stuff in my life this week that made me feel pretty blue and that's affected me as well... I'm feeling better today.

I have a date with this guy I've been seeing tonight so we will see what happens!!

Okay so I met someone I do really like and am attracted to. We've been on a couple dates and there is a great connection and some serious attraction.

I'm not one to jump into bed super fast but if we keep going out its going to happen.

I can't stop thinking about my loose skin. It's bothering me so so so much.

For one this guy is really attractive and pretty fit. He has from what I can tell a super nice body. I feel so much more comfortable dating men with not so great bodies/ overweight and not that attractive. Of course the only really nice funny guy I've met in ages has to be attractive to boot. It's actually a negative to me which is crazy I know.

I HATE my tummy skin and my neck. I'm disgusted by my stomach. And my butt. My body isn't firm. It's to the point I am actually thinking about not dating him because I can't bare to be naked.

God I wish I could have plastic surgery already.

I can put off sex with him for awhile but not for long and I just don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid he will be either grossed out by my body and weirded out by how insecure I am.

Want to cry.

Please please...focus on getting your head where it needs to be and not looking for a boyfriend. I just don't think you are ready. We all have insecurities but if yours loom this large, you really should address that and not let them overwhelm you in situations like this. I also have loose skin but my attitude is that this is part of the package and if you don't like it, we're done. Of course I am with a man now how thinks I'm just the bees knees, wrinkled skin and all. Your attitude with drive this thing and your insecurities are overwhelming you. Dating is hard enough without dealing with these issues as well. Work on yourself my friend, and then you can work on finding a partner.

So I'm supposed to wait until I get my skin taken care of? That sucks... This isn't about me being insecure about MYSELF. I'm insecure about a body issue. Me, I'm awesome. I love being me. I just hate that I have a sagging nasty mommy apron. It's awkward during sex.

But I really don't want to be celibate for a year either. I just need to get over it.

Just from reading this thread, you seem like you are in such a hurry to find a partner. You ARE awesome, you really don't need to rush into a relationship right now. Enjoy your new body, enjoy your children, figure out a good eating plan, date, but you really don't NEED a partner right this very minute, do you?

No I didn't really NEED a partner. I enjoy dating. I enjoy sex. I enjoy having a boyfriend. I'd rather be in a constant situation than not.

If I was desperate to find someone I wouldn't have turned down about a zillion guys who were interested. I'm looking selectively. I am VERY picky. I'm not one to settle.

But I'm not one to stay home alone and watch Bridget jones diary either.

@@bellabloom

Just because someone is demanding sex from you, doesn't mean they're automatically attracted to you. That is also a control issue.

That's like naively saying rapists are only in it for the sex.

Well, sure I suppose. Anyway in my case, my ex was still attracted to me overweight. I don't know this woman's husbands mind so who knows what makes him tick- but him not being attracted to her (if that's the case which I doubt) is still NO excuse for the fact that he is abusing her emotionally. Some men are attracted to overweight women and feel ashamed of it and so they mistreat them.

Who knows what his deal is. I bet the op is a beautiful person inside and out. She deserves better.

I doubt this is an issue of her husband not being attracted to her. It's an issue of power and control when someone is abusive. My ex insulted me daily and yet was in constant demand of sex from me at every weight. He was extremely attracted to me. Didn't have any effect on his telling me I looked like a donut. In fact I think it made it worse. He was ashamed of his own attraction.

This hasn't got anything to do with her or her looks. Her husband is an abuser, period.

Money was a major reason I didn't leave sooner. I secretly saved money and also went to family for help.

Okay so I met someone I do really like and am attracted to. We've been on a couple dates and there is a great connection and some serious attraction.

I'm not one to jump into bed super fast but if we keep going out its going to happen.

I can't stop thinking about my loose skin. It's bothering me so so so much.

For one this guy is really attractive and pretty fit. He has from what I can tell a super nice body. I feel so much more comfortable dating men with not so great bodies/ overweight and not that attractive. Of course the only really nice funny guy I've met in ages has to be attractive to boot. It's actually a negative to me which is crazy I know.

I HATE my tummy skin and my neck. I'm disgusted by my stomach. And my butt. My body isn't firm. It's to the point I am actually thinking about not dating him because I can't bare to be naked.

God I wish I could have plastic surgery already.

I can put off sex with him for awhile but not for long and I just don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid he will be either grossed out by my body and weirded out by how insecure I am.

Want to cry.

Please please...focus on getting your head where it needs to be and not looking for a boyfriend. I just don't think you are ready. We all have insecurities but if yours loom this large, you really should address that and not let them overwhelm you in situations like this. I also have loose skin but my attitude is that this is part of the package and if you don't like it, we're done. Of course I am with a man now how thinks I'm just the bees knees, wrinkled skin and all. Your attitude with drive this thing and your insecurities are overwhelming you. Dating is hard enough without dealing with these issues as well. Work on yourself my friend, and then you can work on finding a partner.

But I really don't want to be celibate for a year either. I just need to get over it.

@@HushxPuppyx that is a huge amount of food! I am 25 months out and I just did the cottage cheese test on my sleeve. I can eat about 7oz before I'm stuffed. When did you notice you could eat so much more food?

...I noticed about 6 months ago...I still can get that sick, tight feeling after a slice of pizza, but it doesn't last and I can return 2 hrs later for a little bit more...I have no hunger pangs after I've eaten like that...but the old way that I used to eat is starting to slip back in.

Sounds more like grazing behavior than a stretched sleeve to me.

I hope it is just that...I had a little tuna and 4 small crackers for lunch yesterday then for my mom's bday dinner...a small slice of pizza hut meat lovers, 2 boneless wings, a small slice of cake and a little scoop of ice cream...full but not sick...

The calories for your moms birthday meal alone was likely around 900. Pizza-280, small cake 300, 2 boneless wings 200, ice cream -200.

????

That would be almost your entire intake depending on your metabolism. Plus those types of foods lead to huge cravings.

If this was a fluke meal I apologize, but if it's happening With any regularity, you must buckle down and get back to eating right or the gain will continue. I would say an absolute no to any Desserts until your back at goal. Sugar is a gateway drug!!

That calorie estimate is just a guess at best- could have been way more. Restaurant foods are evil!!

And I agree that stretched sleeve or no- if your tracking your calories and they are on point, then you shouldn't be gaining.

I feel for you, I do. I know how hard this is. I hope you get the support you need and don't feel attacked. I'm sure everyone on here, myself included, just wants to see you happy and successful.

I'm operating with the idea that yes, my sleeve is temporary. One day it will stretch. But it won't matter because my good habits and portions will still be in place and I will ALWAYS track my calories and stay on top of ANY weight gain. I did this once, never going to have to do it again!!

They want to know what your "secret" is because they want to lose weight too. I'm always so torn. Some people I tell, others I say Portion Control and no sugar. It depends on who it is. Really it's a private thing. I think in the future I'm going to try harder to brush by the question and not tell anyone anymore. I'm tired of Talking about it. I look forward to a time when no one remembers me as overweight...

I also went through an emotionally abusive marriage with my kids father. 8 years of slamming my appearance and I'd had enough.

Basically he liked to keep me emotionally downtrodden to deal with his own insecurities and fears. He insulted me daily about my weight and yet sabotaged every diet I went on and forbade me to have surgery. ????

This sounds a lot like your situation. My ex decided it was his way only- exercise the weight off. Which never worked for me and by the end I was too fat to work out anyway. He said that I embarrassed him and that is let myself go.

He never loved me unconditionally.

I left the relationship, had surgery, lost the weight, and have not looked back.

I don't know your entire situation but what you're going through IS abuse. And it's not going to get better on its own. You need to seriously consider some changes, some tough conversations, or honestly your marriage may not be long in the world. Because ultimately when someone is abusing you, it eventually comes down to you or them. If I'd stayed with my ex it would have killed me- it already had emotionally and it likely would have killed me physically too. I was that unhappy.

Your husband may be a pastor but he is not "walking the walk." But that's his own stuff. Marriage is hard and it does take work. I would seriously consider marriage counseling If you haven't already. It didn't work for me and my ex but it may work for you guys.

I also gained weight on purpose to qualify at 40bmi. I had to gain 5 pounds. Ate my heart out, still couldn't quite gain it, ended up with weights in my bra. Only to find out I qualified with co-morbid conditions but heh oh well. Don't feel bad about doing what you have to do to have this surgery. Man, 5 pounds up changed my life!!! That was the best couple of pounds I EVER gained.

You say you've spoken out to your husband to stop. I did too. I literally begged on hands and knees. He needs a serious wake-up call. I mean SERIOUS. Because he is going to end up losing you.

Mine lost me... And pines for me still. 1.5 years later I still get puppy dog eyes and midnight texts and compliments. a*****e.

Here is the last 6 months

.

Long distance is really tough. But it can be done!! I'm a wedding photographer and I have seen lots of couples together having begun long distance . I'm glad you said no to k, he sounded like a lame-o. )

Stay away from citrus. Ulcers and herd are no fun

I think it really depends on how your body is shaped. We are the same height and we began at the same weight. but I'm 35 and have had two kids. I don't have much lose skin at 117 lbs except for my stomach and chin, which is where I carried the bulk of my weight. It really depends on where you carry most of your weight. If you're well distributed you probably won't have any.

Okay so I met someone I do really like and am attracted to. We've been on a couple dates and there is a great connection and some serious attraction.

I'm not one to jump into bed super fast but if we keep going out its going to happen.

I can't stop thinking about my loose skin. It's bothering me so so so much.

For one this guy is really attractive and pretty fit. He has from what I can tell a super nice body. I feel so much more comfortable dating men with not so great bodies/ overweight and not that attractive. Of course the only really nice funny guy I've met in ages has to be attractive to boot. It's actually a negative to me which is crazy I know.

I HATE my tummy skin and my neck. I'm disgusted by my stomach. And my butt. My body isn't firm. It's to the point I am actually thinking about not dating him because I can't bare to be naked.

God I wish I could have plastic surgery already.

I can put off sex with him for awhile but not for long and I just don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid he will be either grossed out by my body and weirded out by how insecure I am.

Want to cry.

In my experiences exes become exes for good reason. You can't get it right the second time because the reasons are all still there. Going back with an ex is just settling. I say this because I've done it. To my own distress.

Keep looking. Just keep dating. You're not doing anything to make guys not fall in love with you except maybe getting a little cynical in your attitude. I'm a firm believer in the fact that there are many fish in the sea and it's all about an optimistic look on love.

It just takes one and the right timing and an open heart.

I'm better. I'm back on Prilosec and not eating citrus. Sleeve just can't handle pineapple I guess what a painful experience man oh man!!!

It took me a year to get from 240 to 118. After the first 4-5 months I only lost about 2 pounds per week. After about 7 months only 1 pound a week. At some point I stopped thinking about it that much and it just kept coming off. It's amazing how 1 steady pound adds up.

About a pound sometimes 2 .... Just feels like forever

Checked this morning & I am down another pound

I am only 6 months out from my surgery and I am worried I won't lose anymore! I lost 96 lb so far... I am 180 right now.... & I have not worked out in a few weeks .... Been different schedule with work and my diet is spot on but I definitely don't see 5he scale drop like it used to .... Not as fast. Yes.... I do hope this is a problem for me one day. Because being scared I will lose only enough to 180lbs or 6months out from surgery and then stop losing scares me.

Okay so I went to the er! It was that bad. So scary. They took and exray to make sure nothing large was lodged. My bariatric surgeon is in another town so there wasn't much the er could do.

Once they made sure I wasn't choking they put me on a very strong proton inhibitor and carafate as well as a pain killer. I went home and went through one more night of the cramping but by morning it has mostly passed.

I spoke with my surgeon and he said it was most likely a small bit of food lodged in my esophagus that was causing irritation and cramping as my body tried to pass it down.

This was scary and I'm going to stay on the proton inhibitor for a while just in case.

Okay so I went to the er! It was that bad. So scary. They took and exray to make sure nothing large was lodged. My bariatric surgeon is in another town so there wasn't much the er could do.

Once they made sure I wasn't choking they put me on a very strong proton inhibitor and carafate as well as a pain killer. I went home and went through one more night of the cramping but by morning it has mostly passed.

I spoke with my surgeon and he said it was most likely a small bit of food lodged in my esophagus that was causing irritation and cramping as my body tried to pass it down.

This was scary and I'm going to stay on the proton inhibitor for a while just in case.

People can post whatever they want as much as they want. Be caring. This is the first time for everyone that's new!! I'm tired of some of the people on here with such bad attitudes. Your hair fell out and apparently so did you heart.

Anyway.

hair falls out. It's sad but true. No everyone, but most. For me it was about month 6-10. Oh it was bad! Luckily I had very thick hair. Now it is thin but it's stopped falling out at last.

I believe that Biotin can't hurt. But really.... There isn't much you can do. Just breathe. It will pass

Cristopher, what is your height and BMI? I think 100 pounds by months three may be possible for you depending...

I love nutritional yeast on popcorn!!! But isn't it High in calories?

I like beef Jerky and fruit a lot. Fruit is like candy to me.

Sashimi and sunamono salad. Turkey rolled with cheese

Shouldn't high calorie be a plus for you?

Here are the nutritional facts on the nutritional yeast I just bought, seems good to me!

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1453871598.710780.jpg

Hahahah. Yeah it should if I wasn't so scared of high cal foods still. Wow that's awesome!! I thought it was like 200 calories per tablespoon!!! I'm so getting some and putting it on my popcorn!!!

I'm 35. I had a huge stomach before, and also two huge babies. My stomach has loose skin and a fold on the lower part. When I lean over it hangs pretty bad. My arms are normal with a tiny bit of softness, legs the same. My butt sags. I had a huge double chin before and now I have a little but of loose skin under my chin.

I will have a 360 Tummy Tuck with butt lift and a chin lift. That's it.

I don't reallllllllly even need those but I want to feel 100 percent great. The loose skin is minimal.

My stats before were bmi 40 and now bmi 18.