bellabloom

I prefer men with more body fat myself. I think it's sexy. Guess why? It is. Only stereotypes and the media and society tell us it isn't. What's SEXY comes from the inside. Not the outside. I also find a man who eats more fun to hang around... so there's that too.

If you want you can pm me your profile- maybe I could help with some suggestions? Also/ no one is out of your league. Don't assume anything about what someone is looking for. Email the ones YOU are interested in.

I agree. I really like that about tinder too. Just be aware that a lot of people use tinder for casualSex only. If that isn't your vibe be sure and state that in your profile. I've used okay Cupid, match and tinder. I've met people on all three but tinder seems to have to the most normal folks. And by that I mean not insane and completely desperate and about to kill you type people. I would definitely advise posting a full body picture and show who you are. Post pictures showing who you are, not just what you look like.

Another aspect I forgot to mention is that during the time I had my stricture- I relapsed into anorexia. I had an eating disorder very young and throughout my life. Wls surgery triggered it for me hugely and I had to go into treatment twice to get back into recovery. When I lost so much weight I found I could not stop and there was not bottom to my desire to lose weight. After wanting to be thin for so long it was very hard to see reason. So part of this whole process for me has also been addressing my eating disorder through therapy and I'm happy to say I am now in recovery and have been for some time.

I feel a lot of men are attracted to curvier larger women. A LOT. it's more about what you project. I've had men tell me they weren't attracted to me because I was/am too thin. Everyone has their type. Ultimately looks fade and people are attracted to a wide variety of shapes and sizes and it's the energy and positivity and confidence you project that matters. Smile. Be confident. Own your body. It's just a date! Enjoy your self. If someone doesn't like you based on looks you can still enjoy yourself and nice glass of wine and a conversation.

I told tall tales? And you know this because...??? I never said anything untruthful. What would be my motivation to make anything up anyway? What would be the point? I had bypass. Had complications. My bypass was converted to a sleeve. I got a bad bad stricture. I relapsed into anorexia. I got therapy. Got my stricture dilated. I got even more therapy. Recovered from anorexia. Gave up dieting. Found balance. I have dumping with my sleeve.. but otherwise I'm well. That's all true. What sounds TALL to you about that? My story hasn't changed cause that's what happened. It sucked. I survived. I simply told of my experiences. People didn't want to believe me because the complications I went through are rare... well that's up to them. But nothing I ever said was a lie. I don't know why you care anyway. You don't know me! I was never banned. I just took a break. [emoji1303] a lot of people don't want to hear about potential complications when they begin this process and I don't blame them. But they do happen and happened to me. I went through a lot. And many people on here were very mean to me. But it's okay. Water under the bridge. I'm just here to give support to whom I can. [emoji4]

Not everyone values thinness. I personally find overweight people very attractive. Post pictures of yourself having fun, dressed up cute, smiling. Show your personality. Don't assume it's about weight cause it isn't. I'm a wedding photographer and trust me I see people of all shapes and sizes getting married all the time!!

Only 1% of this wls journey is about weight. 99% of it is really about self care, self worth, self esteem. Those are the hard issues and if you don't work past them then wls is pointless. It sounds like you are getting to that introspective point and that's awesome. Overweight people are usually perfectionists and extremely self critical. They have low self esteem and boundary issues and relationship issues. They have trouble embracing others and with intimacy. That's why therapy is an important part of this process. The weight will come off and it will challenge you to redefine who you are and how you think of yourself. It takes time. I can see you're well on your way and I'm happy for you. Keep going. Try and let go of the shame and guilt for gaining weight. There are a multitude of reasons people gain weight and none of them reflect who you are as a quality human being. Being overweight is not a crime and does not make you a bad or weak or lesser person. Let go of the guilt. Love yourself, every inch, every pound, every choice, and forgive. [emoji4]

When I began to lose weight no one commented for quite some time. Then once I turned a certain corner the comments began and they made me feel a little weird to be honest. When you say WOW you've lost so much weight, you look so much better!! / it's likes saying that you looked like a moldy cheeseburger before or something. How do you compliment a persons weight without insulting them? Very difficult. Then, even worse, when I lost A LOT of weight, the "you look sick, you look too thin, don't loose any more weight " comments began. Those hurt. Just the other day one of my best friends said "wow you look soooooo much better!!!l" I've gained 15 lbs a and yeah I look better. But it's like saying , wow you looked like **** before". It's such an awkward compliment. Therefore I never comment on weight period. I say things like - I love your outfit, your hairstyle, your smile is so pretty... I love your personality, you are a great friend. Etc. I compliment on choices people make like choosing a great top or success in a sport or job. It's not that you don't look great and it's not that people don't notice. I'm sure they do. But they don't want to hurt your feelings and you know... your weight probably never mattered to them. Because they love 10000 other things about you. You know you've done well and are getting fit and getting back in control of your life. Walk proud. Own it. Strut your stuff. The only person who's opinion matters is your own. Compliment yourself, daily.

Hahaahahhahhaa. Well said.

I can see that you believe that. I also used to think that I had zero control around my trigger foods and those foods caused cravings for more of those foods. To an extent this has some truth: a diet based only in sugar/carbs does lead to craving more carbs because your sugar levels drop and your body responds by asking for more to reach a stable level again. A carb laden diet lacking in other foods leads to an imbalance in blood sugar. What fixes this is to follow your bodies natural cravings and eat balanced meals with carbs and proteins and fats and fiber. Those foods mix together to create blood sugar stability and satisfy your energy needs. When your energy needs are balanced you will find your urge to binge will go away. When all food is allowed and permissible it becomes much less important and when you are adequately fed (and by that I mean ADEQUATELY fed, not 1800 calories fed) your binge urge will go away. You may not believe me. I know it's a hard pill to swallow. But I am living proof. When you eat mindfully you will naturally eat more nutrient dense food and your body will guide you towards health. There doesn't have to be effort involved. Our bodies are very very wise.

Oh, good to know. My doctor did not require one. Maybe it depends on bmi.

Some regain is normal. I gained 15 lbs back from my lowest. Guess what? I don't care. This journey taught me there are more important things to worry about than weight. There is so much more to life. I hope anyone who has regained will be kind to themselves. Ones worth is not determined by ones waistline. Maybe some people leave because they just don't need to focus on weight any more.... like me. I let it go. Now I'm back to help others if I can. Let's keep this a positive place like julie said. Support. Always support. No judgement.

No, that's just not an option at first or surgery is pointless. When you have sleeve surgery you want it to be tight and to keep you from being able to eat. This is what stops you from eating. Over time, a couple years, your portion size will increase but it will never be quite the same. If you are an emotional eater and a yo yo dieter who is co-dependent on food, I would suggest considering another option other than surgery. Your weight is not that high- mid thirties isn't crazy high at all. You still want to be able to enjoy food with your family. Perhaps check into intuitive eating? It is a method of eating that helps you stop dieting, stop binging, stop emotional eating, gradually lose weight, and yet still be able to enjoy food you love and celebrations around food. VSG is not for everyone. It is a life long drastic alteration to your body and unless you are vastly overweight to the point of danger or you are just so emotionally spent you need to take drastic measures, there are other alternatives to making peace with food and also weight loss. Intuitive eating- you can buy the book on amazon or google it.

Okay so... I dump A LOT. And yes... I have a sleeve. Yes you can dump with a sleeve. Sugar isn't the only thing that can cause dumping- its sugar in ALL forms like bread, pasta... rice... think carbs. Carbs are complex sugars. In your body it's the same thing. That said I love carbs and sugar and refuse to not eat them. So I live with some dumping episodes and life goes on. It sucks but it's worth it to me. If you want to prevent dumping eat protein and very little carbs. Dairy also has a lot of sugar. Dumping can happen from putting fluids on top of solids and over filling your tummy. So don't do those things. And you won't dump. Mostly. Or do them. I do. f**k it. I like food and I'm gonna enjoy my life so sometimes I dump. It is what it is. Sometimes the cheesecake is simply worth it

Anyway I can't really talk cause I just got lip fillers and I can't wait till everyone notices my new sexy pout. ))) Just walk sexy and be proud. You've earned it!!

I don't understand why doctors require pre-op diets. It's just unnecessary torture in my opinion. I'm sorry you feel so down. What other coping mechanism can you find besides food to cheer you up?

Are you sure this is the right path for you? If your dealing with an eating disorder than a restrictive diet is really gonna mess with your head. What if you took the focus off food for a bit and just ate what felt right for your new stomach, got more active, got into the joys in life that make you happy... stress can have a huge effect on your body and metabolism. Is it so important that it happen at this moment? You sound unhappy. What can you focus on outside of food to give you more joy in this present place? Follow the guidelines for your surgery as you are able and stop obsessing. That's my advice. These things take time. Perhaps eating disorder therapy again as well? I'm also in ed recovery so I empathize.

Dumping feels different depending on the person and their reaction. For me it is extreme nausea and chills, shakiness and frequent urination, needing to lay down that lasts about 1/2 hour to an hour. For some it's the runs. Anyway... you may still dump but I don't think that is what's happening here. Also... your body is ridding itself of some yucky food maybe... going into a fasting state. It's normal.

I don't think you are dumping either. While sleeve patients can get dumping (like me) none of the foods you listed should cause it. You may be having issues with the protein shakes. They give me the terrible shits too. Check and see if there are any sugar alcohols in your brand. If so change brands. In fact, just change brands. Or don't use them. Protein shakes can really give you the runs. Just focus on your liquids for now and soon you will be able to eat some soft proteins that won't give you the shits. You won't hurt yourself for being low on protein for a little while, trust me. Also maybe ditch the sugar free jello.

Ask your doctor. Doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

Constipation can become a long term issue after wls. First off you should drop the narcotics. Go to Tylenol. Narcotics bind you up terribly and you should not need them by now. Water in little sips through out the day. You can mix Metamucil into the water or a little juice. Take colace if your doctor clears you for it. Milk of magnesia works wonders if it gets bad again. But mainly: no more narcotics, drink water, walk, take fiber. A bowel regime after surgery is essential. Mine is Metamucil every day, three capsules, water, and prune juice on occasion.

It will be a week or two before you feel like your healthy self. Just rest. Don't try and eat or drink too much. Little sips. Dixie cups. The point right now is to rest and not worry about food. Focus on little sips of water.

Your body and emotions go through a lot of changes. So do your hormones. Relationships change as well. Give it time.

I left because I was bashed upon a ton by others at my same stage, who are veterans now, like me. I believe that this is a journey that is different for everyone and we should practice empathy and kindness. A lot of "newbies" have poor pre-op support. There are more and more wls docs now and not all of them give nutritional advice. Also, the mindset of having to eat on a rigid diet type regime forever post surgery simply won't work. People reach their goal weight and regain when they try and do that. During my weight loss I did not always follow the rules. I certainly cut my caloric intake but I was never a perfect patient. I still lost to my goal and then some. Perhaps I had an easier time because I did allow myself some leeway. This is not an all or nothing journey. It's really hard to expect someone to live on a diet 100% of the time forever and be able to have any real quality of life. Newbies are looking for advice and we can give it to them and still be kind and have empathy. Maybe they won't lose all their weight. Maybe they will regain. Maybe they will suffer. That's their journey. Who ever said being overweight was a crime anyway? Props to them for trying and for asking for advice. I feel a moderate approach is always best and I feel many of the vets on here are rude, patronizing, and just plain mean- all in the name of "tough love". You know what? Sometimes it's better to just give a little love. Weight issues are painful. Be kind. I'm here to help who ever I can with what I've learned and I refuse to judge anyone else's life decisions.