shellyd88

Just a curious question? Is your husband overweight or insecure? I'm not asking to be mean u don't have to just accept being overweight would u just accept heart disease or diabetes or a stroke? High blood pressure? High cholesterol ? there's no reason u should just accept it I can't imagine someone who cares about a person saying that It's like saying here have some sugar and fat and hey we all gotta die sometime! truth is we will all die sometime do you want to make it sooner rather than later? if u have kids do u want to see them grow up? Want to see grandchildren? Want to travel when u retire? If u get bigger and unhealthy will u be able? Will u have any quality of life? So he isn't comfortable with this? Is he going to get comfortable if u can't walk or have a stroke helping u bathe? Eat walk etc drive u everywhere if it would come to that? I sure hope so cuz it sure isn't going to be comfortable for you

@@kell778 hi I Can tell u what I did my surgeon put me on south beach the blue book it's been around quite a long while available at most bookstores a tip I bought mine on Amazon it was cheaper and they offer paperback copies also cheaper then bookstores even with shipping it's very strict low cal low carb low fat no sugar it's no breads desserts pasta potatoes not even fruit in the beginning it's boring but effective try to excercise if u can whatever u can do I did stair steps in my house since I have a two story house dug my hand weights out did that while watching my evening program can do a lot in an hour take a morning and evening walk even if u can only do ten mins do it I was sent to a physical therapist showed me stuff I can do that doesn't involve walking I have some circulation issues and neuropathy too such as sit and be fit videos on tv u can record them sparkpeople.com has videos you tube as well the food is essential tho u must follow the diet to loose weight and keep loosing Veggies salad protien low fat cheese yogurt low carb tho and low sugar ditch the cookies chips ice cream soda candy etc take out food nope it's too high calorie fat carbs and sodium drink a lot of water or low cal sugar free drinks as me anything anytime I'll be glad to help

I have to agree I've never heard of a bariatric dr saying to eat processed foods or bread or sugar ever!!! no dietician I've ever met would say that's ok either my surgeon said to follow south beach which I did I lost 60 lbs in 5 months prior to sleeve surgery and I'm down another 100 at nearly five months out also I want to know the reason you can't have bypass cuz of your weight I was 400 at surgery and my surgeon wanted me to have bypass I said no I strongly agree with those who advise u to stay away from the processed frozen foods and bread and about those shakes too u have to really look at them most have have more sugar and carbs then we are allowed on pre op diets in order to loose weight I liked the ready to drink ones at GNC the Atkins ones are good too as far as taste and texture..... Ps I also take thyroid meds have for years I had no problem

It's true life isn't "fair" people will treat you different when your thinner rather than heavier you can't control what they say only how you react to it many ppl co workers so called friends family members have all treated me terribly and are now being nicer since I've been losing weight now I'm suddenly an acceptable person again I react to this by keeping the relationship at arms length after all that the way they decided they wanted it when I was too fat for their liking I'm polite and I do not bring up how they treated me or behaved but I do not forget it and will not allow that into my life

What happening is normal I'm almost 5 months post op sleeve yes I had trouble swallowing could only do tiny sips was really aggravating lol yes it's uncomfortable it gets better as time goes by I found that warm drinks and broth went down better or me the first three weeks or so it took me a few weeks to be able to drink somewhat normally and without the slight discomfort in my throat and stomach but I'm down a 100lbs since surgery it really is a process and it takes getting used to and then slowly it will get better I promise it feels like it won't at the time but it will just do what your dr tells u and drink drink drink it's honestly like a job at first lol but u do not want to get dehydrated and go to the hospital

I was told by my surgeon that the clearance from pcp could only be accepted 10 days prior to surgery I don't know if it's an insurance thing or what I was treated rudely by my pcp office as well even tho for a few years it was suggested yo me to have this surgery lovely huh? I think they just think they can get away with treating ppl however they want lots of ppl won't change Drs cuz it's such a hassle and if u don't have a relationship established they may not approve u and if they are against it in general then what? I highly suggest u get copy's of everything don't give them the only copy of anything etc I had lots of trouble with things not being faxed on time etc so I started making sure I faxed it myself and keep a copy for yourself of everything just in case this way u can always make more copy's if needed also check dates they seemed to have trouble putting the correct dates on things confusing to me how someone with a medical degree can make such mistakes hmmm???

I had one nearly 3 months before my sleeve surgery it was a requirement of my surgeon he said it was too look for hernia ulcers etc and to make sure u don't have any type of damage that would get in the way of healing eating drinking etc u get put out with drugs they ask u to turn on your side u won't remember anything after that lol and they look it's over in about 20 mins or so u feel groggy after and for a few hours I had a sore throat for a few days after

Best of luck to all having surgery I think most of us felt this way pre op

Sorry for your frustration folks been there done that so I sympathize first Drs offices almost never do what they say they will in the time frame they say they will also this is prime vacation time as the Drs and nurse kids are out of school etc Xmas holidays and summers are the worst time to schedule with Drs lawyers too I work for one of them they don't want to be tied up during the good weather and when they can travel with kids etc I found I had to be on the case everyday checking in was this that and the other done scheduled faxed mailed tested etcetera I wondered what exactly they got paid for when I was doing all the work?

I started at 462 last September my surgeon said I had to do south beach diet and Lose 5% before he would allow me to have surgery I started south beach sept 20 2014 lost 60 lbs by date of sleeve surgery feb 23 2015 had a check up fri I'm down another 100 lbs exactly since surgery so I'm at 162 lbs lost so far I'm not anywhere near goal I haven't been told a good number that I should be but I'm 6'1 so I'm never going to be less then like 180 probly I think it's unlikely so using those numbers I still have a long way to go another 120 but it can be done I truly didn't believe it could happen I was stunned that I lost so much before surgery too I had never lost more than 15-20 lbs on my own before I had high blood pressure was headed toward diabetes my mom got that and died at 56 yrs old due to eating badly sleep apnea I had too I'm off three meds weaning off another had to get rid of tons of clothes I don't regret it at all can't wait to be a normal sized person and not have ppl stare at me cuz I'm fat or make fun of me like I'm deaf and can't hear sit in chairs booths oh yeah that's already happened lol haven't tried a booth tho yet haven't stepped foot in a restaurant why bother I don't eat much now anyway it can be achieved I'm proof!!!

Yeah it's awful can't do sugar alcohols...chocolate even tiny amounts fruit too is not working for me salad which I so love and miss seems to get to me too if I eat more than two bites tried one scoop of vanilla ice cream once ... Nope made me wish for death won't be doing that again was told I could have turkey breakfast sausage can only eat one tiny piece nope sleeve says bitch back off lol and I listen it's the boss now it seems

Your disclosure or not is up to you also many bariatric surgeons do not only perform that type of surgery but also general surgery of all types all the ones at my group do other procedures as well as do most surgeons and the law doesn't require u to give details u can be required to have proof from dr that your having surgery on such and such date and will need x amount of time off or x amount of light duty time etc when u return u can be required to go on temp disability until u return you are not required to disclose the exact procedure or reason why that's against the law as for the employer looking down on the reason as u can work out there free ok maybe so but as we all know being overweight or having been there u cannot outwork a diet higher in calories than u burn surgery is a tool many of us need to help us not eat as much I think u have the right idea maybe keeping quiet is good for now I agree tho if asked don't lie you will look like a big donkey but don't take any nonsense or lectures hold your head high and say I needed the help of this tool and be clear it's not up for debate or judgement end of story if they try shut it down politely and say I'm not having this discussion with anyone but my dr thank you

No one else gets to decide what's good for you except u and your dr they also don't get to sit in judgment of you be it for being overweight or having surgery and I know what u went thru I too had that type of mother except when it's her it's never her fault no responsibility was taken so I say good for you no who treats you that way and speaks to u that way deserves to be invited to your home or into your life to behave that way to someone in a vulnerable position is unacceptable no one has to agree with a decision u make if so fine then they shouldn't agree to drive you etc and then verbally beat you up while your at their mercy and it's ok for you to tell them so and not to take any crap from people parent or not that's not acceptable

Hello I know how u feel unfortunately a lot of us need to be our own best advocate and cheerleaders and not take others "opinions and disapproval" to heart we are adults and don't require anyone's permission to get in better health by whatever means we can those same people will say why don't u do something about yourself blah blah and then when u do they criticize us well I say they should shut the hell up and it's certainly no easy way out either no one can understand if they aren't doing it there are rules to follow forever and this won't work if you break those rules I've dealt with people like this in my family at work etc I let people know from the get go I'm not asking your opinion or permission I'm seeing a dr that's all the advice I need so shut it down right away I'm not saying be nasty just take no shit it's your life and you will be the one dealing with issues that come with being overweight etc not them and I bet with this attitude if u do have issues they won't be of any help but surely will have more criticism I've had let those people fall by the wayside if I'm not good enough now then I don't need you in my life when I'm thinner and therefore more acceptable in their eyes so they can just as well not invite me shopping then either I don't care to go

Uh huh but if your pre op that may not be it it may be the protein powder or the sugar free mix I have major issues with a lot of sugar free stuff sugar alcohols don't like me and let me know in no uncertain terms I have learned to listen... The hard way I'll leave at that...

I like true lemon it's near the crystal light type stuff it's got no artificial sweetener it's either stevia or trivia something like that it's a plant based in it however I found the flavor weak so I use much more than what it says to put in to mix in water the mango flavor I didn't care for the lemon is great also the peach tea and the raspberry also I like wylers light I had a hard time finding things to drink after as the crystal light I had drunk daily before surgery was so darn sweet and tasted FUNKY as did most things lol for a while took a couple months for me to be able to tolerate any sugar free drink again so don't be surprised if this happens my nut told me to use baby fruit juices watered down and v8 juice which I did and it helped tremendously Sorry I meant truvia

The dr and nurses do not want u throwing up believe that in your pre admission testing they will ask you if u have any concerns or issues bring this up its pretty standard for orders for nausea meds post op there won't be an issue they are more than willing to help u not be throwing up as they want and need u to drink fluids which u won't do if u feel sick

I got sleeved in February of this year my surgeon told us that our staples would never cause any problems at the airports that we didn't need to worry about it also MRI cat scan etc same thing if asked if u have them when having medical tests then say yes but it won't interfere as a matter of fact I had a lumbar MRI end of April this year after being sleeved there was no issue I've been thru security at airport and xrayed in those stupid machines they didn't even know nothing was said

Yayyy!!!! Congrats

I had an issue like this when I told my closet friend of nearly twenty years she went nuts said I wasn't to talk about it to her etc etc silence for 3 weeks finally sent me a nasty email she didn't agree with me having the surgery I was devastated having no idea where this attitude came from finally she apologized and we cleared the air I guess she thought I was going to start preaching and lecturing I nearly fell out laughing we both used to smoke I quit first then she quit and I started again and have since quit for good I've never lectured anybody about things I've also done in the past I mean really??? Who the heck am I to tell others what to do I had to be clear with her and say this is my decision it has nothing to do with you u can eat whatever u choose to eat in front of me nothing is going to change except what I might eat or not eat and while we are together I'm not going to be judging you or even thinking about what your eating lol I'm not going to turn into the food police

Hi I think it's only natural that at times we may feel resentful at what others can eat that we can't or shouldn't the thing is we decided to do this and deal with the changes required and if we are going to be around other people at family functions restaurants etc we have to deal with what's on our program and not be resentful of others you can't control what others do say eat how they act we can only control what we do when we were all heavy and eating high calorie high sugar foods we didn't want ppl calling us out and humiliating us in public let's not do it to others if they have diabetes they already know they shouldn't consume that and if they do it anyway they will live with the consequences my mom developed diabetes in her late 40s and was dead by age 56 from complications due to not following the diet continuing to eat high carb high sugar foods etc not exercising I guess the addiction got the better of her no amount of begging pleading yelling lecturing or trying to replace the bad food with good food did any good we all have to be accountable for what we put in our mouths no one can do it for us save your energy to work on you don't waste it being a food cop for others they will do what they are going to do

Hey hi I really doubt there is a person who has gone through this that hasn't had a second thought about whether to do this or not so that's probly normal it's hard to make this choice no one does it without a single reservation if you have gone thru all the hoops they make u jump thru to have this tool and u back out u may have to start over if u want to do it just something to think over and I'm absolutely not saying u should do it anyway if u have genuine reservations then u should resolve those issues first don't do something u don't really want to do but just keep in mind nothing worth having or doing is ever really easy I'm just over 4 months post op sleeve is it hard sometimes??? Hell yeah but I can honestly say being so heavy was worse so many health issues mobility issues lots of meds loss of friends family treating u like crap also co workers and bosses treating u less than etc I don't regret it at all good luck to you

Are u eating and drinking close together? I'm sleeved and I absolutely cannot do that or my stomach hurts too

Exactly ... friends should support and encourage each other not compete or feel threatened by the other that's just pure unadulterated selfishness it's all about them when that dynamic changes as u said u were both ignored and now that has changed and she now must face her own self and the possible reasons men aren't speaking to her it certainly isn't your fault and u deserve to be as happy as anyone else and find a guy if that is what you want someone who tries to make u feel guilty or somehow at fault is not worth your time or energy if u are emotional they likely will use that against u and u will end up feeling sorry for them and apologizing when you've done nothing wrong and the cycle will just continue been there done that if someone can't be supportive and happy for you that u have gotten to a better place in life gotten healthier etc well they will likely just drag u down u don't need that

I wouldn't bother confronting her save your energy for getting fit and healthy seems like she is viewing you as competition perhaps she hadn't before your weight loss from her rather sharp comments about why guys aren't talking to her it's clear there's some resentment or jealousy there it's not your job to take abuse and nasty attitude from her if social outings don't go her way perhaps it's more than just your weight loss that is attracting men to you maybe it's a new confidence or openness that she isn't giving off this is not a true friend cutting u out speaks volumes clearly she doesn't want to compete with you