WL WARRIOR

Pre-op, I floated the WLS concept enough with friends and family to learn I didn't have the energy or interest in educating them and remediating all their many misunderstandings.
However, a year and a half post-op (and 100 pounds lighter, now maintaining), I agree: The healthy weight folks are far more supportive of my weight, health and lifestyle improvements than are my overweight friends and family.
The majority (although not all) of my overweight friends and family have pretty much faded into the background. And I understand how that works. I think in their shoes (pre-WLS) I'd have done exactly the same thing. Pre-op I was so embarrassed and uncomfortable being so overweight. I was also in a generally bad mood time -- not necessarily bitchy, but just not happy, not to mention physically uncomfortable or in pain.
It really, really sucks in so many ways to be morbidly obese, and one of those ways is that it really seems to be harder to feel happiness for others. I really hate admitting that. Sheesh! That's awful.

It's tough either way. I'm surrounded by people who don't know I had wls and they still want to ask me questions about my weight loss.
I've started giving them advice that shuts them up - I share a formula:
1. You can't eat more calories in a day than your target weight multiplied by 10.
2. You must eat more Protein than fat or carbs.
3. You must exercise 3/5 days a week for 45 minutes.
They all look dumbfounded when I tell them this, but it certainly changes the subject fast!

Your observation about thin and fit people being more supportive than overweight people is correct. I've been observing it quite frequently since surgery 15 months ago.
It made me think about whether I got jealous of post ops before my surgery. Although I don't like to admit it, but I do think I had a tinge of jealousy. However, the way I acted upon it was different. I was still supportive of those that had lost weight after bariatric surgery and admired them greatly. I was just envious that they were able to get the surgery while I could not due to insurance problems..

Your observation about thin and fit people being more supportive than overweight people is correct. I've been observing it quite frequently since surgery 15 months ago.
It made me think about whether I got jealous of post ops before my surgery. Although I don't like to admit it, but I do think I had a tinge of jealousy. However, the way I acted upon it was different. I was still supportive of those that had lost weight after bariatric surgery and admired them greatly. I was just envious that they were able to get the surgery while I could not due to insurance problems..

Your observation about thin and fit people being more supportive than overweight people is correct. I've been observing it quite frequently since surgery 15 months ago.
It made me think about whether I got jealous of post ops before my surgery. Although I don't like to admit it, but I do think I had a tinge of jealousy. However, the way I acted upon it was different. I was still supportive of those that had lost weight after bariatric surgery and admired them greatly. I was just envious that they were able to get the surgery while I could not due to insurance problems..

I'm very happy you found another option, OP (I wish I had gone to Mexico and saved a bundle). I've thought about a gofundme account for future plastics, but ultimately decided against it for the following reasons:
1. I am ultimately responsible for the damage done to my body (weight is the luxury tax we pay on getting to eat whatever and however we want).
2. There are so many gofundme people out there needing money for limb prosthetics, death of family members, natural catastrophes, and terrible accidents over which they had ZERO responsibility and control.
3. I could still ask my friends/family to contribute money in lieu of gifts for x-mas, birthdays, etc.
4. Doing it because "it's a free country" despite the implications it has for my character, integrity, and personal responsibility is not okay with me.
Good luck on your journey, OP. Hope to see you on the other side post-op!

Your observation about thin and fit people being more supportive than overweight people is correct. I've been observing it quite frequently since surgery 15 months ago.
It made me think about whether I got jealous of post ops before my surgery. Although I don't like to admit it, but I do think I had a tinge of jealousy. However, the way I acted upon it was different. I was still supportive of those that had lost weight after bariatric surgery and admired them greatly. I was just envious that they were able to get the surgery while I could not due to insurance problems..

Your observation about thin and fit people being more supportive than overweight people is correct. I've been observing it quite frequently since surgery 15 months ago.
It made me think about whether I got jealous of post ops before my surgery. Although I don't like to admit it, but I do think I had a tinge of jealousy. However, the way I acted upon it was different. I was still supportive of those that had lost weight after bariatric surgery and admired them greatly. I was just envious that they were able to get the surgery while I could not due to insurance problems..

Your observation about thin and fit people being more supportive than overweight people is correct. I've been observing it quite frequently since surgery 15 months ago.
It made me think about whether I got jealous of post ops before my surgery. Although I don't like to admit it, but I do think I had a tinge of jealousy. However, the way I acted upon it was different. I was still supportive of those that had lost weight after bariatric surgery and admired them greatly. I was just envious that they were able to get the surgery while I could not due to insurance problems..

Your observation about thin and fit people being more supportive than overweight people is correct. I've been observing it quite frequently since surgery 15 months ago.
It made me think about whether I got jealous of post ops before my surgery. Although I don't like to admit it, but I do think I had a tinge of jealousy. However, the way I acted upon it was different. I was still supportive of those that had lost weight after bariatric surgery and admired them greatly. I was just envious that they were able to get the surgery while I could not due to insurance problems..

I'm a little over 7 months out, and 112 pounds down. I've gone down to a lower BMI class, and about 5 pants sizes. I go to the gym 3-5 times a week and work by butt off, literally. I try not to make mistakes, and when I do, I've worked hard to not beat myself up about them. But I've found some of the hardest stuff to not beat myself up about, are the things I have absolutely no control over.

I didn't know that I would be gossiped about by literally EVERYONE at work. I didn't know that they would gossip instead of openly ask me how I lost the weight. I'm apparently super naive.

I didn't know that people would comment about how great I look, and then when someone tells them how I lost the weight, they would immediately change their opinion about how I look.

I didn't know that overweight people would be the LEAST likely to support me. But it was true! Jealousy is pretty common apparently. I made the terrible mistake of telling a coworker about my surgery 3 months out when they commented on how good I look. I then proceeded to get lectured for a half hour about how dangerous it is and what a terrible decision I made.

I didn't know that even after your success is becoming OBVIOUS, people would still feel negative. I just thought once I lost a lot of weight, they woudl come around and see it was a good decision. Sorry everyone, but the answer is no. 7 months out, that horrible coworker still makes horrible comments. Today eyes were rolled and a sarcastic "yeah right" was stated when I said 'yes I go to the gym 3-5x a week'. Apparently I'm lying. And apparently it doesn't matter that I've lost a ton of weight, you should still judge me and consider it a bad decision.

I didn't know that healthy, fit, thin people would actually be VERY supportive of my decision. I guess it makes sense though. They know how important health and fitness is, and they are happy to see someone else striving to better themself. I've actually found a great support system to discuss recipes, Protein shakes, new Snacks and workout ideas! My fiance tells me all the time about some of his friends who ask about my success and comment how great I look when they see pictures. I was terrified for those people to learn about my surgery, and I'm so thankful I finally told them.

I didn't know that I would have trouble seeing my own success. But I do, ALL the time. How does someone NOT see a 100+ pound loss? How is it possible that I look in the mirror and still see the old me sometimes? Maybe I need to get my eyes checked. I never thought that would be possible. But it happens everytime I go to the gym. Doesn't matter what I wear or what I'm doing. I look and don't see the curves, or the thin legs. I don't see that I actually have a shape other than round. I see what I used to be. I feel like a jerk talking about this too. No one wants to hear 'oh I've lost over 100 pounds but I don't see it myself'. It sounds like I'm fishing for compliments, but I'm not! It makes me sad. I know I should be thrilled, I know I should see it, but it's really challenging sometimes.

I didn't know that I would be so ashamed of my loose skin. I hate seeing my own body. I avoid the mirror all the time. I'm so embarrassed. Thank God its winter so I can wear long sleeves. How am I ever going to wear shorts!? Or a swim suit. I feel like people must see the skin and think its gross. I feel like I'm waving a flag to the world, 'Hey! Look at me! I was really overweight'. I don't want to hide my past, but I don't want it to be a neon sign in someones eyes before they get to know me.
I get married this October and my dress is sleeveless. I really don't want to be stressing about my arms, but I already think about it all the time.

I didn't know that I had so many triggers that made me want to eat. I don't handle stress well, and I know that about myself. That's not new, I'm working on it. But I didn't realize how much it made me want to eat. I've been able to focus that stress and use it at the gym, and its been really successful. But its a struggle every single day. When I get really upset, I still think about wanting junk food. I don't think that struggle will ever go away.

I didn't know how lucky I was having a great support system. I've always been really independent, and don't like relying on people. This process has shown my how wrong I was to feel that way. I would never have been so successful without my amazing fiance and friends. Having people to talk to has been so important to me. Even if they can't always understand what I'm going through, it makes such a difference getting things off my chest. I look forward to the support group meetings at my Bariatric Center every month. There's something about seeing people in person going through exactly what you are going through that gives such relief. Knowing I'm not alone has been so important to me.

Eating like crap to me is a day when I eat like I used to before surgery. I never did this until recently, but I will eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and more than I want. Just grazing all day, and not counting calories, Protein, or carbs. Just a crazy free for all. Never thought I would do that again, but once in a while, I just need a break. Of course, I have to get right back on the diet or I will weigh over 300 pounds again. I wish I could say I would never do it again, but I know better. Obesity is a terrible disease, and most of the time, I am in remission. Once in a while, I have an exacerbation.

Here's a little test you can try. First thing in the morning before you've eaten/drank anything, take a 16 oz container of cottage cheese. Eat as much as you can, fairly quickly. Eat just until comfortably full, not overly gonna be sick full. Measure whatever's left and subtract from 16oz. That's your capacity and it may be smaller than you think.
It is normal for your stomach tissue to relax over time and for your restriction to become less. I reached my max capacity around 14 months. And if I relied on my sleeve to limit and control my portions at this point I would definitely regain, easily. So I only eat until satisfied.....I can't remember the last time I was full. In the end, WLS success comes down to you, your head games and your choices, the actual surgery and restriction has very little to do with it.
I have a 4-5 pound bounce range and if I pop even one pound above I go back to strict Protein and veggies until I'm back down. I pinpoint any bad habits that have come back and stop them. (i.e. Snacking in bed, grazing on weekends, carby breakfasts, etc). In extreme cases of loss of self control I do a few days of preop liquid Protein diet. This really shuts down the carb cravings and gets my head back in the game. It's empowering to see I can actually do it.
Good luck. Take back your control!

Try eating nothing but lean, dense Protein and green veggies for several days (yes, including for breakfast). Don't slather the food with sauces, butter, etc. Don't drink your calories and don't drink while you eat. You may find that you have more restriction than you think!

Yes, hunger comes back.
And how it affects you depends on a number of things, including whether you:
* suffer from binge eating disorder or other food-related issues that make it especially hard for you to resist food to calm / soothe / medicate your anxiety
* Have chocolate sitting in your desk drawer. (If so, WHY?! in the name of God is it there?!)
* are eating the foods you should be eating that keep hunger at bay -- Protein, high-Fiber veggies, some whole grains
* are drinking sufficient Water
* are avoiding high-starch, high-sugar slider foods
* are taking antacids that prevent excess stomach acid from mimicing hunger
* are aware of the events in your life / environment that trigger head hunger and are working to minimize those triggers and/or develop new ways of responding to those triggers besides eating
* are working with a therapist if you have eating / food / behavioral issues that could be improved by working with a therapist
* are able to practice mindfulness in life and being present for what's happening, including feeling your feelings without trying to medicate them away
* planning your daily meals and *know* what you're supposed to eat for each meal and each snack and aren't just compulsively eating things because you don't know what you're supposed to eat that day
* don't have a way to call STOP to destructive behavior (could be calling a friend, a WLS buddy, journaling about your feelings, posting to an online forum , etc. Years ago, I once actually yelled, "STOP!" at myself to startle myself out of my compulsive eating. It actually got my attention.
* put on your walking clothes / shoes and hit the sidewalk or treadmill to get yourself focused again on what your long-term goals are.
There must be so many other things others can add to this list that could help.

This might sound a little bold, but I'm going to mention it anyway. After all, its just my opinion, so you don't have to make much of it.
I think deep down, you like the attention this problem is causing you. Like the previous poster mentioned, you seem to dismiss many suggestions. I've read your past posts and responses and there are may indicators that you like being super thin and all the attention it brings. Even in your original post, you mention being disappointed that your doctor didn't comment on your thinness. It was like you were let down that you didn't get the attention you usually crave.
Also, you've mentioned how the opposite sex finds you "tiny" and how being so different than everyone else makes you feel special. You love the stares you get. I guess there is nothing wrong with that to a point.
I realize that you are claiming that you want to gain weight, but can't. Part of you may know that you should put some weight on, but deep down it seems hard for you to give up the attention. Am I wrong that you confessed to needing to check in to an eating disorder clinic not long ago?
Somewhat, I can relate. Last month, when I got down to 120 pounds, everyone seemed to notice. I had only gotten that way due to strep throat and mild dehydration. Anyway, the attention it brought made me feel a little special for about a week.
After that, I realized that making others worry and stress over something I could easily manage and control just wasn't right. Besides that, the emaciated look made me appear weak and downplayed the strong character I try to achieve and reflect as a teacher.
All it took for me to gain 10 pounds was the addition of graham crackers, popcorn, and Cereal. It was hard to eat it in the beginning because I had worked so hard to stay away from such carbs for a whole year. I added these foods a serving at a time each day and I gained 10 pounds in a month. After I got up to 130, I just reduced my calories a little and kicked the carbs. Did you know that one serving of Smart Healthy Popcorn has 100 calories and 100 CARBS per serving!
My advice is to look deep down, get honest with yourself, and let go. If your blood work is fine, then you need to put an emphasis on constant snacking to raise your caloric intake. If you have kids, this is so important. Kids know more about what is going on than you realize and it effects how they live their life growing up in so many ways.

You mention that you have gotten off track. Just remember that the train has never left, its right beside you waiting for you to get back on. You obviously know how to be successful since you've lost over 100 pounds. Don't be a human trash can. Throw that sugary junk where it belongs--in the trash!

This might sound a little bold, but I'm going to mention it anyway. After all, its just my opinion, so you don't have to make much of it.
I think deep down, you like the attention this problem is causing you. Like the previous poster mentioned, you seem to dismiss many suggestions. I've read your past posts and responses and there are may indicators that you like being super thin and all the attention it brings. Even in your original post, you mention being disappointed that your doctor didn't comment on your thinness. It was like you were let down that you didn't get the attention you usually crave.
Also, you've mentioned how the opposite sex finds you "tiny" and how being so different than everyone else makes you feel special. You love the stares you get. I guess there is nothing wrong with that to a point.
I realize that you are claiming that you want to gain weight, but can't. Part of you may know that you should put some weight on, but deep down it seems hard for you to give up the attention. Am I wrong that you confessed to needing to check in to an eating disorder clinic not long ago?
Somewhat, I can relate. Last month, when I got down to 120 pounds, everyone seemed to notice. I had only gotten that way due to strep throat and mild dehydration. Anyway, the attention it brought made me feel a little special for about a week.
After that, I realized that making others worry and stress over something I could easily manage and control just wasn't right. Besides that, the emaciated look made me appear weak and downplayed the strong character I try to achieve and reflect as a teacher.
All it took for me to gain 10 pounds was the addition of graham crackers, popcorn, and Cereal. It was hard to eat it in the beginning because I had worked so hard to stay away from such carbs for a whole year. I added these foods a serving at a time each day and I gained 10 pounds in a month. After I got up to 130, I just reduced my calories a little and kicked the carbs. Did you know that one serving of Smart Healthy Popcorn has 100 calories and 100 CARBS per serving!
My advice is to look deep down, get honest with yourself, and let go. If your blood work is fine, then you need to put an emphasis on constant snacking to raise your caloric intake. If you have kids, this is so important. Kids know more about what is going on than you realize and it effects how they live their life growing up in so many ways.

This might sound a little bold, but I'm going to mention it anyway. After all, its just my opinion, so you don't have to make much of it.
I think deep down, you like the attention this problem is causing you. Like the previous poster mentioned, you seem to dismiss many suggestions. I've read your past posts and responses and there are may indicators that you like being super thin and all the attention it brings. Even in your original post, you mention being disappointed that your doctor didn't comment on your thinness. It was like you were let down that you didn't get the attention you usually crave.
Also, you've mentioned how the opposite sex finds you "tiny" and how being so different than everyone else makes you feel special. You love the stares you get. I guess there is nothing wrong with that to a point.
I realize that you are claiming that you want to gain weight, but can't. Part of you may know that you should put some weight on, but deep down it seems hard for you to give up the attention. Am I wrong that you confessed to needing to check in to an eating disorder clinic not long ago?
Somewhat, I can relate. Last month, when I got down to 120 pounds, everyone seemed to notice. I had only gotten that way due to strep throat and mild dehydration. Anyway, the attention it brought made me feel a little special for about a week.
After that, I realized that making others worry and stress over something I could easily manage and control just wasn't right. Besides that, the emaciated look made me appear weak and downplayed the strong character I try to achieve and reflect as a teacher.
All it took for me to gain 10 pounds was the addition of graham crackers, popcorn, and Cereal. It was hard to eat it in the beginning because I had worked so hard to stay away from such carbs for a whole year. I added these foods a serving at a time each day and I gained 10 pounds in a month. After I got up to 130, I just reduced my calories a little and kicked the carbs. Did you know that one serving of Smart Healthy Popcorn has 100 calories and 100 CARBS per serving!
My advice is to look deep down, get honest with yourself, and let go. If your blood work is fine, then you need to put an emphasis on constant snacking to raise your caloric intake. If you have kids, this is so important. Kids know more about what is going on than you realize and it effects how they live their life growing up in so many ways.

This might sound a little bold, but I'm going to mention it anyway. After all, its just my opinion, so you don't have to make much of it.
I think deep down, you like the attention this problem is causing you. Like the previous poster mentioned, you seem to dismiss many suggestions. I've read your past posts and responses and there are may indicators that you like being super thin and all the attention it brings. Even in your original post, you mention being disappointed that your doctor didn't comment on your thinness. It was like you were let down that you didn't get the attention you usually crave.
Also, you've mentioned how the opposite sex finds you "tiny" and how being so different than everyone else makes you feel special. You love the stares you get. I guess there is nothing wrong with that to a point.
I realize that you are claiming that you want to gain weight, but can't. Part of you may know that you should put some weight on, but deep down it seems hard for you to give up the attention. Am I wrong that you confessed to needing to check in to an eating disorder clinic not long ago?
Somewhat, I can relate. Last month, when I got down to 120 pounds, everyone seemed to notice. I had only gotten that way due to strep throat and mild dehydration. Anyway, the attention it brought made me feel a little special for about a week.
After that, I realized that making others worry and stress over something I could easily manage and control just wasn't right. Besides that, the emaciated look made me appear weak and downplayed the strong character I try to achieve and reflect as a teacher.
All it took for me to gain 10 pounds was the addition of graham crackers, popcorn, and Cereal. It was hard to eat it in the beginning because I had worked so hard to stay away from such carbs for a whole year. I added these foods a serving at a time each day and I gained 10 pounds in a month. After I got up to 130, I just reduced my calories a little and kicked the carbs. Did you know that one serving of Smart Healthy Popcorn has 100 calories and 100 CARBS per serving!
My advice is to look deep down, get honest with yourself, and let go. If your blood work is fine, then you need to put an emphasis on constant snacking to raise your caloric intake. If you have kids, this is so important. Kids know more about what is going on than you realize and it effects how they live their life growing up in so many ways.

This might sound a little bold, but I'm going to mention it anyway. After all, its just my opinion, so you don't have to make much of it.
I think deep down, you like the attention this problem is causing you. Like the previous poster mentioned, you seem to dismiss many suggestions. I've read your past posts and responses and there are may indicators that you like being super thin and all the attention it brings. Even in your original post, you mention being disappointed that your doctor didn't comment on your thinness. It was like you were let down that you didn't get the attention you usually crave.
Also, you've mentioned how the opposite sex finds you "tiny" and how being so different than everyone else makes you feel special. You love the stares you get. I guess there is nothing wrong with that to a point.
I realize that you are claiming that you want to gain weight, but can't. Part of you may know that you should put some weight on, but deep down it seems hard for you to give up the attention. Am I wrong that you confessed to needing to check in to an eating disorder clinic not long ago?
Somewhat, I can relate. Last month, when I got down to 120 pounds, everyone seemed to notice. I had only gotten that way due to strep throat and mild dehydration. Anyway, the attention it brought made me feel a little special for about a week.
After that, I realized that making others worry and stress over something I could easily manage and control just wasn't right. Besides that, the emaciated look made me appear weak and downplayed the strong character I try to achieve and reflect as a teacher.
All it took for me to gain 10 pounds was the addition of graham crackers, popcorn, and Cereal. It was hard to eat it in the beginning because I had worked so hard to stay away from such carbs for a whole year. I added these foods a serving at a time each day and I gained 10 pounds in a month. After I got up to 130, I just reduced my calories a little and kicked the carbs. Did you know that one serving of Smart Healthy Popcorn has 100 calories and 100 CARBS per serving!
My advice is to look deep down, get honest with yourself, and let go. If your blood work is fine, then you need to put an emphasis on constant snacking to raise your caloric intake. If you have kids, this is so important. Kids know more about what is going on than you realize and it effects how they live their life growing up in so many ways.

This might sound a little bold, but I'm going to mention it anyway. After all, its just my opinion, so you don't have to make much of it.
I think deep down, you like the attention this problem is causing you. Like the previous poster mentioned, you seem to dismiss many suggestions. I've read your past posts and responses and there are may indicators that you like being super thin and all the attention it brings. Even in your original post, you mention being disappointed that your doctor didn't comment on your thinness. It was like you were let down that you didn't get the attention you usually crave.
Also, you've mentioned how the opposite sex finds you "tiny" and how being so different than everyone else makes you feel special. You love the stares you get. I guess there is nothing wrong with that to a point.
I realize that you are claiming that you want to gain weight, but can't. Part of you may know that you should put some weight on, but deep down it seems hard for you to give up the attention. Am I wrong that you confessed to needing to check in to an eating disorder clinic not long ago?
Somewhat, I can relate. Last month, when I got down to 120 pounds, everyone seemed to notice. I had only gotten that way due to strep throat and mild dehydration. Anyway, the attention it brought made me feel a little special for about a week.
After that, I realized that making others worry and stress over something I could easily manage and control just wasn't right. Besides that, the emaciated look made me appear weak and downplayed the strong character I try to achieve and reflect as a teacher.
All it took for me to gain 10 pounds was the addition of graham crackers, popcorn, and Cereal. It was hard to eat it in the beginning because I had worked so hard to stay away from such carbs for a whole year. I added these foods a serving at a time each day and I gained 10 pounds in a month. After I got up to 130, I just reduced my calories a little and kicked the carbs. Did you know that one serving of Smart Healthy Popcorn has 100 calories and 100 CARBS per serving!
My advice is to look deep down, get honest with yourself, and let go. If your blood work is fine, then you need to put an emphasis on constant snacking to raise your caloric intake. If you have kids, this is so important. Kids know more about what is going on than you realize and it effects how they live their life growing up in so many ways.

@@bellabloom I am concerned about you. I understand eating is a chore for you and unappealing and difficult to fit in. But you CAN do it. You have experience that shows you can in the example above. The days you didn't get "too busy" you did it.
You HAVE to make it a priority. It's risking your health. You haven't replied to the myriad of suggestions above. You dismissed the first few as undo able and then just continue to tell us how you're not getting in enough. What about finding your sliders? What about the higher calorie shakes? What about setting timers on your watch and making sure you have the time? Running late and a date? Not reasons not to eat. It must be a priority! For the sake of your kids if not yourself.
The disordered eating in your background only makes me worry more. This thread feels almost more like a brag than a complaint and certainly excuses. You CAN get enough calories in if you make it a priority.

"Stock" replies?? Really? Those people with "stock" replies know what they are talking about. Just because you thought sleeve surgery was going to be this magical thing where all your hunger would go away and you wouldn't actually have to use a little will power once in a while doesn't mean the answers given to you by mostly veterans aren't tried and true. They've been there. They know what works.
So you're hungry? Drink Water, make sure you're eating enough Protein, and eat on a schedule. We don't have a magic wand to make your hunger go away.
Sorry for the stock reply.

@@WL WARRIOR ... I'm interested in your last comment (above in bold). What did you mean by that?