CarmenP

Thank you for your open, honest thoughts, everyone.

It’s very, very difficult time for me. I just don’t feel any of the OOMPH for him anymore, and it’s been this way for enough time now that I know it won’t just “come back”.

I suppose part of me wants to get out and see what I missed while I was “trapped” inside my old self. I do think there is some truth to that, outside of the other issues we have. He’s a good man and takes wonderful care of me, but that’s not always enough, is it?

Thank you all again for your thoughts. ❤️

Thank you for your open, honest thoughts, everyone.

It’s very, very difficult time for me. I just don’t feel any of the OOMPH for him anymore, and it’s been this way for enough time now that I know it won’t just “come back”.

I suppose part of me wants to get out and see what I missed while I was “trapped” inside my old self. I do think there is some truth to that, outside of the other issues we have. He’s a good man and takes wonderful care of me, but that’s not always enough, is it?

Thank you all again for your thoughts. ❤️

I think the fact that like 50% of marriages end in divorce anyways sorta skews our perceptions of surgery as the root of it. Yes you did have surgery but you had like a fifty fifty shot of feeling this way without the surgery. If I remember correctly the rate of divorce increases from 50 to 70% post surgery. I bet a lot of that 20% is probably what we’re already less than ideal marriages but people didn’t have the confidence to leave pre surgery. I believe a good marriage will only get better as one person becomes a healthier and happier version of themselves.

Regardless, the thought of ending it with someone you once cared so deeply about is never easy and not a decision to be taken lightly. Obviously only you know if it could help at this point but counseling saved my marriage years ago and now it’s better than I could have imagined. We just needed to learn how to communicate with one another. It sounds so simple but it made such a difference. That being said I went to counseling with my first husband too and the counselor basically told us to just get divorced. Lol.

that could/would have happened even if you'd never had surgery. It's not that unusual after being with someone for a long time. HOWEVER, the difference now is, you have more confidence - plus you're going to be attractive to a lot more potential partners. In other words, you have more options - and you don't have to put up with an unsatisfying situation if you don't want to (not that I'm encouraging you to leave - you're certainly not alone in falling out of love with a long-term partner. Some people stick with it regardless - others leave - but you have more options now and likely, a lot more confidence)

I have heard of this before. When we are overweight we loose ourselves and hide behind family and try to stay as small as possible and hide in the shadows. Gradually we are no longer the people we were.
I used to work in a Adult Education College. Every two years a new full time Art Course began. There were lots of middle aged ladies took the course and over the 30 hour week they put in these ladies slowly changed, their personalities and confidence began to blossom. You could physically see it happen. Many of these ladies left their husbands. They were different.
My husband was finished from his very physical job because of his ill health and lost all his confidence. It really shook him and he changed for the worse. I was his verbal punch bag. I took it for 2 years. I found somewhere else to live and gave him the ultimatum. You stop all this mental cruelty and go back to the man I love or I am gone in a week. With in a day he was back to the man I know and deeply love. He had it all but couldn't see it.
What I am trying to say in a roundabout way is confidence or lack of it, changes us. It changes the people around us. I would put a plan in place just so you have a bolt hole. Try speaking to your husband, tell him how you feel, try counselling. You never know you may meet in the middle again. You will always know you tried everything

Hello Everyone,
I am 2 weeks post op, and looking for suggestions for the next stage of compression garment to wear as I continue my recovery from my Tummy Tuck. I am overwhelmed by everything out there. I need something COMFORTABLE. This itchy, bulky thing the surgeon gave me is the stuff of nightmares.
I need something that works for the summer weather, but is also durable, so I can sleep in it, wash it, etc... I do plan to buy more than one, but I don't want to break the bank, either, you know?
Any recommendations are greatly appreciated!
Thanks!

Hello All,

I’m on Day 5 post-op of an abdominoplasty (minus the muscle tightening).

I have a few questions for anyone who has done this and can maybe help?

1) My compression feels like I’m stuffing 2 pounds of sausage in a 1 pound casing. Should it BE that tight? Hubby says yes, that he made a point of asking the surgeon and then watching them do it while I was in recovery. My sides feel like they BURN (no incision, just like the skin is being rubbed raw!). I put an old cotton shirt under the compression garment, but it doesn’t feel like it’s helping. Could it be something under the skin that feels like it’s irritated or burning? Anyone feel this before?

2) How long did you feel so sore that you couldn’t sleep? The compression garment doesn’t help. It digs and digs - into my ribs, under my breasts, etc... I feel like I want to claw it into a million pieces!

3) I have drains that need to come out - hopefully Wednesday. I am actually terrified of this. Does it hurt? What is the process like? My surgeon only said, “it takes like 4 seconds and doesn’t hurt.” But I’m reading other people say it does and now I don’t know what the heck to believe.

It’s like the easiest part of this is the actual incision area! That barely hurts. But where the swelling is, where the skin is stretched so tight, where the garment rubs and digs, THAT is what hurts! I’m trying to avoid pain meds, haven’t taken them in a few days, but I’m slowly feeling like I *need* them - just to sleep. And I’m afraid of that feeling. Like I’m dependent.

I’m going on 2 days with like 2 or 3 hours of total sleep. And I feel crazy.

Thanks!

I went to Charlotte Plastic Surgery, and my surgeon was Dr. Scheuer. He’s WOOOOOOOONDERFUL.

Everything was just shy of $12,000. And insurance doesn’t cover squat. Not for cosmetic surgery.

Hello all!

A few months ago, I posted asking about doing plastic surgery to remove my “apron” of skin. Originally, I intended a panniculectomy. I met with a surgeon, and we went back and forth. He was advocating for an abdominoplasty, and I wasn’t interested in the recovery/pain involved with that procedure. But he didn’t think I’d wind up happy with the simple panniculectomy.

We finally reached a compromise of sorts. He did an abdominoplasty, minus the muscle tightening. While he was at it, he gave me a slight butt and thigh lift, removing a chunk of skin/fat - so-called “saddle bags” - from my sides/flanks. I also had my mons lifted (ladies, this was actually the part I wanted most, if you can believe it!)

I am currently 4 days into recovery. I’m SORE! I’m tired. I’m a bit swollen. Everything feels tight. I’m in a compression garment, and I feel like 2 pounds of sausage stuffed in a 1 pound casing. Lolol I walk hunched, can’t stand up straight, I have 2 drains, and I hate the idea of doing and undoing this ensemble so much, that I actually skip showers to avoid the hassle (and I normally shower AT LEAST once a day!).

The surgeon said, pre-surgery, he was maybe being a bit ambitious with the marks he’d made on my body. He was hopeful to get 90% of the skin. He actually got all of it, and then some! 15 pounds of skin, gone. And he said it was all skin. He didn’t need to do any Lipo, as there wasn’t any fat.

I will keep you all posted with my progress. But if you’re thinking of doing this, I’m happy to share whatever info I have. I’ll also post pics when I’m feeling better!

Carmen

Hello Everyone!

I am post-op RNY, surgery date July 2014, starting weight 302, surgery date weight 290.

Today, I’m 190, and I’m four days post-op from an abdominoplasty. Surgeon was able to remove 15 ponds of skin. I’m hopeful to be 175-180 when I’m healed and all my swelling goes down.

Here are before and after (the “after” is from 2 weeks ago at the beach, before my plastic surgery).

I like to come and read about everyone’s successes. Your stories are always so familiar and comforting to me. Very few people understand the struggles we’ve faced, the nastiness, the hateful attitudes, the condescension (“hey, you should feel lucky we even MAKE clothes in your size!”), and even though I don’t post much, I’ve so enjoyed seeing the happy transformations.

❤️hugs to everyone on this journey!

Carmen

First, If your story is real, and you are not a troll,
please get help. You are dealing with some deep seated mental health issues that need professional help.
Second, if you are a troll,
please get help. You are dealing with some deep seated mental health issues that need professional help.
Either way I wish you healing and peace.

Hello Everyone!

I am post-op RNY, surgery date July 2014, starting weight 302, surgery date weight 290.

Today, I’m 190, and I’m four days post-op from an abdominoplasty. Surgeon was able to remove 15 ponds of skin. I’m hopeful to be 175-180 when I’m healed and all my swelling goes down.

Here are before and after (the “after” is from 2 weeks ago at the beach, before my plastic surgery).

I like to come and read about everyone’s successes. Your stories are always so familiar and comforting to me. Very few people understand the struggles we’ve faced, the nastiness, the hateful attitudes, the condescension (“hey, you should feel lucky we even MAKE clothes in your size!”), and even though I don’t post much, I’ve so enjoyed seeing the happy transformations.

❤️hugs to everyone on this journey!

Carmen

Hello all!

A few months ago, I posted asking about doing plastic surgery to remove my “apron” of skin. Originally, I intended a panniculectomy. I met with a surgeon, and we went back and forth. He was advocating for an abdominoplasty, and I wasn’t interested in the recovery/pain involved with that procedure. But he didn’t think I’d wind up happy with the simple panniculectomy.

We finally reached a compromise of sorts. He did an abdominoplasty, minus the muscle tightening. While he was at it, he gave me a slight butt and thigh lift, removing a chunk of skin/fat - so-called “saddle bags” - from my sides/flanks. I also had my mons lifted (ladies, this was actually the part I wanted most, if you can believe it!)

I am currently 4 days into recovery. I’m SORE! I’m tired. I’m a bit swollen. Everything feels tight. I’m in a compression garment, and I feel like 2 pounds of sausage stuffed in a 1 pound casing. Lolol I walk hunched, can’t stand up straight, I have 2 drains, and I hate the idea of doing and undoing this ensemble so much, that I actually skip showers to avoid the hassle (and I normally shower AT LEAST once a day!).

The surgeon said, pre-surgery, he was maybe being a bit ambitious with the marks he’d made on my body. He was hopeful to get 90% of the skin. He actually got all of it, and then some! 15 pounds of skin, gone. And he said it was all skin. He didn’t need to do any Lipo, as there wasn’t any fat.

I will keep you all posted with my progress. But if you’re thinking of doing this, I’m happy to share whatever info I have. I’ll also post pics when I’m feeling better!

Carmen

Hello Everyone!

I am post-op RNY, surgery date July 2014, starting weight 302, surgery date weight 290.

Today, I’m 190, and I’m four days post-op from an abdominoplasty. Surgeon was able to remove 15 ponds of skin. I’m hopeful to be 175-180 when I’m healed and all my swelling goes down.

Here are before and after (the “after” is from 2 weeks ago at the beach, before my plastic surgery).

I like to come and read about everyone’s successes. Your stories are always so familiar and comforting to me. Very few people understand the struggles we’ve faced, the nastiness, the hateful attitudes, the condescension (“hey, you should feel lucky we even MAKE clothes in your size!”), and even though I don’t post much, I’ve so enjoyed seeing the happy transformations.

❤️hugs to everyone on this journey!

Carmen

Hello all!

A few months ago, I posted asking about doing plastic surgery to remove my “apron” of skin. Originally, I intended a panniculectomy. I met with a surgeon, and we went back and forth. He was advocating for an abdominoplasty, and I wasn’t interested in the recovery/pain involved with that procedure. But he didn’t think I’d wind up happy with the simple panniculectomy.

We finally reached a compromise of sorts. He did an abdominoplasty, minus the muscle tightening. While he was at it, he gave me a slight butt and thigh lift, removing a chunk of skin/fat - so-called “saddle bags” - from my sides/flanks. I also had my mons lifted (ladies, this was actually the part I wanted most, if you can believe it!)

I am currently 4 days into recovery. I’m SORE! I’m tired. I’m a bit swollen. Everything feels tight. I’m in a compression garment, and I feel like 2 pounds of sausage stuffed in a 1 pound casing. Lolol I walk hunched, can’t stand up straight, I have 2 drains, and I hate the idea of doing and undoing this ensemble so much, that I actually skip showers to avoid the hassle (and I normally shower AT LEAST once a day!).

The surgeon said, pre-surgery, he was maybe being a bit ambitious with the marks he’d made on my body. He was hopeful to get 90% of the skin. He actually got all of it, and then some! 15 pounds of skin, gone. And he said it was all skin. He didn’t need to do any Lipo, as there wasn’t any fat.

I will keep you all posted with my progress. But if you’re thinking of doing this, I’m happy to share whatever info I have. I’ll also post pics when I’m feeling better!

Carmen

I went to Charlotte Plastic Surgery, and my surgeon was Dr. Scheuer. He’s WOOOOOOOONDERFUL.

Hello all!

A few months ago, I posted asking about doing plastic surgery to remove my “apron” of skin. Originally, I intended a panniculectomy. I met with a surgeon, and we went back and forth. He was advocating for an abdominoplasty, and I wasn’t interested in the recovery/pain involved with that procedure. But he didn’t think I’d wind up happy with the simple panniculectomy.

We finally reached a compromise of sorts. He did an abdominoplasty, minus the muscle tightening. While he was at it, he gave me a slight butt and thigh lift, removing a chunk of skin/fat - so-called “saddle bags” - from my sides/flanks. I also had my mons lifted (ladies, this was actually the part I wanted most, if you can believe it!)

I am currently 4 days into recovery. I’m SORE! I’m tired. I’m a bit swollen. Everything feels tight. I’m in a compression garment, and I feel like 2 pounds of sausage stuffed in a 1 pound casing. Lolol I walk hunched, can’t stand up straight, I have 2 drains, and I hate the idea of doing and undoing this ensemble so much, that I actually skip showers to avoid the hassle (and I normally shower AT LEAST once a day!).

The surgeon said, pre-surgery, he was maybe being a bit ambitious with the marks he’d made on my body. He was hopeful to get 90% of the skin. He actually got all of it, and then some! 15 pounds of skin, gone. And he said it was all skin. He didn’t need to do any Lipo, as there wasn’t any fat.

I will keep you all posted with my progress. But if you’re thinking of doing this, I’m happy to share whatever info I have. I’ll also post pics when I’m feeling better!

Carmen

Yes, the compression is essential to reduce swelling and avoid a seroma - tight is what you want. I had a compression garment and then also an abdominal binder and still developed a seroma near the "T" in my tummy tuck/FDL.
Honestly, my breast lift/aug was more painful than the Tummy Tuck (I pretty much had total reconstruction - my surgeon said mine were in the worst shape he's seen in 22 years and that I have unusually thick/strong pec muscles which made things even harder). Just keep on that pain medication and make sure you are taking a stool softener/laxative. My first BM post-op literally ripped me apart.
It gets easier and easier! At 5.5 weeks PO I'm feeling about 90%, just wake up sore. It'll absolutely be worth it! 😃

The compression garment is supposed to be tight, and you neeeeeed to wear it. I stopped wearing mine too soon, and had complications that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It sounds like yours is much tighter than mine, though - it was like a tight girdle or Spanx, but not so intrusive that I couldn’t sleep or that was actually painful. I’d talk to the surgeon’s team about that one. As for the drains, there really is nothing to worry about. It’s a small tugging sensation that lasts a couple of seconds at most, with absolutely no pain.

Hello Everyone!

I am post-op RNY, surgery date July 2014, starting weight 302, surgery date weight 290.

Today, I’m 190, and I’m four days post-op from an abdominoplasty. Surgeon was able to remove 15 ponds of skin. I’m hopeful to be 175-180 when I’m healed and all my swelling goes down.

Here are before and after (the “after” is from 2 weeks ago at the beach, before my plastic surgery).

I like to come and read about everyone’s successes. Your stories are always so familiar and comforting to me. Very few people understand the struggles we’ve faced, the nastiness, the hateful attitudes, the condescension (“hey, you should feel lucky we even MAKE clothes in your size!”), and even though I don’t post much, I’ve so enjoyed seeing the happy transformations.

❤️hugs to everyone on this journey!

Carmen

Hello all!

A few months ago, I posted asking about doing plastic surgery to remove my “apron” of skin. Originally, I intended a panniculectomy. I met with a surgeon, and we went back and forth. He was advocating for an abdominoplasty, and I wasn’t interested in the recovery/pain involved with that procedure. But he didn’t think I’d wind up happy with the simple panniculectomy.

We finally reached a compromise of sorts. He did an abdominoplasty, minus the muscle tightening. While he was at it, he gave me a slight butt and thigh lift, removing a chunk of skin/fat - so-called “saddle bags” - from my sides/flanks. I also had my mons lifted (ladies, this was actually the part I wanted most, if you can believe it!)

I am currently 4 days into recovery. I’m SORE! I’m tired. I’m a bit swollen. Everything feels tight. I’m in a compression garment, and I feel like 2 pounds of sausage stuffed in a 1 pound casing. Lolol I walk hunched, can’t stand up straight, I have 2 drains, and I hate the idea of doing and undoing this ensemble so much, that I actually skip showers to avoid the hassle (and I normally shower AT LEAST once a day!).

The surgeon said, pre-surgery, he was maybe being a bit ambitious with the marks he’d made on my body. He was hopeful to get 90% of the skin. He actually got all of it, and then some! 15 pounds of skin, gone. And he said it was all skin. He didn’t need to do any Lipo, as there wasn’t any fat.

I will keep you all posted with my progress. But if you’re thinking of doing this, I’m happy to share whatever info I have. I’ll also post pics when I’m feeling better!

Carmen

Hello Everyone!

I am post-op RNY, surgery date July 2014, starting weight 302, surgery date weight 290.

Today, I’m 190, and I’m four days post-op from an abdominoplasty. Surgeon was able to remove 15 ponds of skin. I’m hopeful to be 175-180 when I’m healed and all my swelling goes down.

Here are before and after (the “after” is from 2 weeks ago at the beach, before my plastic surgery).

I like to come and read about everyone’s successes. Your stories are always so familiar and comforting to me. Very few people understand the struggles we’ve faced, the nastiness, the hateful attitudes, the condescension (“hey, you should feel lucky we even MAKE clothes in your size!”), and even though I don’t post much, I’ve so enjoyed seeing the happy transformations.

❤️hugs to everyone on this journey!

Carmen

Hello Everyone!

I am post-op RNY, surgery date July 2014, starting weight 302, surgery date weight 290.

Today, I’m 190, and I’m four days post-op from an abdominoplasty. Surgeon was able to remove 15 ponds of skin. I’m hopeful to be 175-180 when I’m healed and all my swelling goes down.

Here are before and after (the “after” is from 2 weeks ago at the beach, before my plastic surgery).

I like to come and read about everyone’s successes. Your stories are always so familiar and comforting to me. Very few people understand the struggles we’ve faced, the nastiness, the hateful attitudes, the condescension (“hey, you should feel lucky we even MAKE clothes in your size!”), and even though I don’t post much, I’ve so enjoyed seeing the happy transformations.

❤️hugs to everyone on this journey!

Carmen

Hello Everyone!

I am post-op RNY, surgery date July 2014, starting weight 302, surgery date weight 290.

Today, I’m 190, and I’m four days post-op from an abdominoplasty. Surgeon was able to remove 15 ponds of skin. I’m hopeful to be 175-180 when I’m healed and all my swelling goes down.

Here are before and after (the “after” is from 2 weeks ago at the beach, before my plastic surgery).

I like to come and read about everyone’s successes. Your stories are always so familiar and comforting to me. Very few people understand the struggles we’ve faced, the nastiness, the hateful attitudes, the condescension (“hey, you should feel lucky we even MAKE clothes in your size!”), and even though I don’t post much, I’ve so enjoyed seeing the happy transformations.

❤️hugs to everyone on this journey!

Carmen