Trace Lynne

I have been quiet about the procedure with family and friends, only a handful of people have been told. Some probably suspect at this point, but haven't come out and asked me. Others have asked. If someone asks me, I will not deny that I had the procedure, however I do not want to over-emphasize the role that the procedure has made. I mean, I have been working out like a fiend, and I have not been quiet about exercising or the progress I am making. I am working my butt off to hit my goals. I mean, I lost over 40 lbs in the three months prior to surgery, thanks to going to the gym 3 times a week and working out with a personal trainer. Sure, I've kept quiet about the procedure, but its the results that people are commenting on. I mean, my sister continues to make comments about how she needs to get back into shape, but then says something like not having the time I have because she is a single mom. I have been keeping more to myself with this, because I really want to focus on working out and not involved with other people's drama. I do like the positive feedback, though. What I really love are the people I didn't think were paying much attention start telling me that I've been inspiring them to work out and try to get healthier. I feel amazing with those comments.

I had some time to kill while I was waiting for my prescription to be filled by the pharmacy at the local superstore. I decided to try on jackets in the women's clothing section. They only have clothing that typically goes up to 2X. I tried on the different sizes, 2X, 1X, and XL for each jacket. This was prompted by a discussion earlier this week that all of my 3X coats being too big on me. In general here's what I found: 2X jackets - all fit me well, some were a little big 1X jackets - all fit me and I could close them, but there were a bit snug XL jackets - I could get them all on, which was kind of surprising. My upper arms were a little too big for the jackets made on non-stretchy material to get them on all of the way. I have a good 4-6 inches to lose around the gut before I can close them. As I was trying these different jacket on, I kept thinking, in a few months, I hope be able to do this with the Medium, Large, and X-Large clothing. Back when I weighed 180 lbs, I was wearing X-Large t-shirts only because I wanted it to be baggy and hide my chest. I was huge for a teenage girl, and I didn't want to give the guys in school any more of a reason to feel me up as they passed me in the hallway at school.

Walking down 5 flights of stairs: I don't have to hold on to the rails to support/steady myself I can face forward, instead of sideways, I can pick up the pace and don't get winded I can walk down in successive steps, instead of stepping right foot down a step, then left foot on to the same step... this is the ritual I picked up after my knee surgery, since my knee didn't bend well after surgery.

My regular shows include: The Daily Show Real Time with Bill Maher NCIS NCIS: LA Revenge Once Upon A Time Madam Secretary Walking Dead Game of Thrones Newsroom (which just ended) Biggest Loser Amazing Race I record these on my DVR and watch them when when I get a chance. A typical Sunday morning is playing catch up with the TV I've missed because I tend to be busy during the week. My roommate and I are also watching through Breaking Bad. We just started season 4. I really wish I had more data on my phone so that I could watch some of this TV when I'm over at the YMCA working out.

I was originally asked what I thought my ideal weight/goal would be when I started the process at the weight management center. I said I would like to get down to 130-140 lbs. However, as part of my intake/tests, they did a full-body composition test, which gives body weight by bones, organs, fat, muscle. When the results came in, the doc said that I seem to have fairly dense bones, which explains how I managed to avoid breaking bones over the years despite several falls which should've broken something, I guess. But based on the body scan and my height, my ideal weight range is 150-170 lbs. He said anything below that would be muscle loss and/or too low bmi. I remember that discussion really well, because it took me back to my experience as a larger teen, I was chastised by my PE teacher who took to publicly shaming in class because her expectation was that I should weigh 130 lbs, but I was about 160 lbs at the time. All that time and torment, and I was right where my body wanted me to be. I would like to get down to 150 lbs, if that is within the healthy range my doc wants me to be in. However, its not really about the number. If I'm fit, able to do the things I want/need to do, and I'm health, the number doesn't matter to me as much. Except, I would REALLY like to get back down below 200 lbs... only about 60 lbs to go on that.

There are people I've dreaded running into over the last 20 years... my high school classmates, a former roommate, and my exes. I still have a ways to go before I feel comfortable to appear at my 20 year class reunion... however, I still have three years before I'm at that point... And once I hit my goal, boy-o, I will want to go. Yessirree! it will be interesting to see the exes and how they respond... but also, my former roommate and I departed on not-so-good terms... and one thing he made sure to do on his way out is torment me about my weight, because he knew it was my biggest weakness. (It was bad enough that it gave me nightmares and the thought of running into him gave me panic attacks for a couple years afterwards.) I'm not saying I would want to see him again, however, I'm confident enough in myself now that if I were ever to bump into him, I wouldn't respond the way I would've before.

I hope to do this at my 1-year follow up with my surgeon!

I came across this article: http://www.boxingscene.com/weight-loss/30698.php It seems that their could be several reasons for this happening, but first and foremost, the body is losing weight rapidly and the temp regulation needs time to catch up.

1) I was mistaken for my younger (smaller) sister at a recent family gathering... 2) I was not recognized by some extended family 3) I went to an off-site meeting for work recently, the receptionist at the organization did not recognize me, despite having worked with her a few times last summer for some event scheduling. 4) Getting double-takes from coworkers as they start noticing the difference. 5) I've been posting comparison photos of me when this first started last spring with new photos each month. I get SO MANY comments about the difference... and many, many people have told me how much I am inspiring them because of all of the changes I've succeeded in making in my life. 6) My grandmother has stopped ragging on me about my "weight issue"... but has started in on asking when I'm going to find a nice, young man to settle down with.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS! I just had to have my pressure turned down from 12 to 8. By summer I want to be off the CPAP machine.

I take it that being cold is not uncommon. Ever since the temp dropped below 60F, I've worn at least 2 layers, if not 3. I just bought a pair of fleece tights, and am tempted to go back and get a few more pairs. They are amazing! I'm really looking forward to warmer weather. Quick question, how long does it take the body to adjust/normalize to the loss of insulation? A year? two? never?

I went into the ER yesterday with extreme pain. So much that I was throwing up every 10-15 minutes. It was sudden on-set. I had no symptoms before yesterday. The ER doc ordered a CAT scan, and there was a 1.3 cm stone in my kidney. The pain was being caused by the stone blocking the tube from the kidney to the bladder. They said there is no chance of this stone leaving without assistance because it is so big. They've managed the pain, and I'm waiting to see a urologist who can take care of the stone. I also have a call into my weight management office to see if I need to come in to adjust my consumption. I've been trying so hard to follow the rules. I'm disappointed that I have to deal with this. My RnY surgery was August 28, 2014, and I've lost 105 lbs to date.

To answer the question, no, I don't see myself the way others do. I've lost 105 lbs as of this week, which is almost half-way to my goal weight. I find myself struggling with the change in a couple of ways: As far as clothing, I'm wearing size XL in workout clothing, size 14/16 in dress shirts, and size 18/20 in dress pants. These sizes all seem a bit small to me. Some mornings I go to put the work clothing on, I am not convinced they will fit. However, they do, and it still surprises me. Also, I'm reluctant to go out an purchase lots of new clothing while I'm still working towards my goal. I only have a couple items at the new sizes. I still have work shirts that I wear in the 24, 26, 28, and 3X sizes. They look baggy on me, but I have spent so much money on working out, the medical stuff, and nutritional supplements that I can't bring myself to renew my wardrobe every 20-30lbs. My trainer came up to me in class last week and complimented me. He said, hey there, skinny girl! My instant response was: "Haha, funny. You know I still have a lot of weight to lose." --- Thinking back on that, I really shouldn't down play the progress I've made, despite not being at my goal. When I walked into his gym, I was 350+ lbs, and needing to lose 35 lbs more in the 6 weeks before the surgery, per my surgeon's request. When I walked in, I was exhausted after 30 minutes of training with him. Now I will work through an hour of crossfit or kettlebell class, then go and ask for more (envisioning the scene from Oliver Twist, "please, sir, I want some more"). Last saturday I did 1 hour of kettlebell class then an hour of Zumba. I'm working out almost every day for at least 45 mins to 1 hour. Ever since I lost about 60-70 lbs, my family has been complimenting me on my efforts. It is nice to not be harassed about being overweight by them, since they can see progress (they still are unaware of my surgery). However, I still get negative comments from strangers on the street when I'm out walking my dog, which has led to me only wanting to go out walking after dark.

My Progress: Pic 1: Starting Weight: 367 lbs 5/24/2014 Pic 2: Current Weight: 262 lbs 1/5/2014 Surgery Date: 8/28/2014

I did it! When I weighed in on 12/16/14, I crossed the line from 98 lbs to 101 lbs lost! It was only three pounds, however, those three pounds pushed me into the 3-digit realm of weight loss. I was so excited. Now I'm down about 105 lbs. It is just crazy to say it, and I've been telling EVERYONE! People I know, people I don't know... EVERYONE... I'm just so excited about hitting this milestone. As a result of this milestone, I decided to treat myself to a couple new clothes. I walked into Lane Bryant after work that Friday after the weigh-in (yeah, I had to wait until payday)... and said, so, I've lost some weight, and I have no idea what size clothing I am. It was actually FUN trying on clothes for 1.5 hours. To put it in perspective, the shirt I was wearing was a baggy 3x shirt and the pants were a size 22 jeans that I had picked up from good will the beginning of October. The size 22 jeans were so big that I could pull them on and off without undoing the button or zipper. By the end of this trip, I walked out with size 18 trouser jeans, a couple size 14/16 shirts, and a couple 18/20 blouses for work. The idea that I am wearing size 16 or 18 clothing again is mind-blowing. I'm quickly coming to the bottom of the Lane Bryant size ranges, meaning I can start shopping in regular clothing stores again. However, I suspect the next down-sizing I do will be back at good will. I really shouldn't continue purchasing brand new clothing that I can only wear for a couple months. Of course, I may need to go through my clothing again soon. Its been 2 weeks since that shopping trip, and I've lost enough weight that some things are fitting awkwardly. After going through 3-4 outfits the other day, I kind of missed the thing I was trying to dress for. I decided, instead, to tend to my closet. I pulled out all of the clothing I purchased at last year's end-of-year clearance from lane bryant, and found that nothing fits me, at all. Some of the stuff still has its tags, even. So, I started going through older clothing, which all ended up in that pile too. I have a huge stack of clothing to hand off to goodwill the next time I go in. I only have 2-3 pair of dress slacks to wear to work and some blouses (old and new). I would much rather have this problem than going the other way, but some days it isn't as easy as others to wrap my head around this. I'm down over 100 lbs, which is unbelievable to me. If its this amazing at 100 lbs, what will it be like when I attain my goal and have lost over 200 lbs????? I can't even fathom that. Of course, having lost over 100 lbs, I am noticing extra skin, which I have no idea how to handle, other than wearing compression clothes and/or always making sure I have a second layer of clothing other to help mitigate the jiggle. There is no way of knowing how bad the skin will be until I get to that bridge. I've started watching Vlogs for people who have lost a bit of weight and are going through the skin removal process. I'm a little nervous about that part... but I know it will probably be a year before I'm there. Some posts I've seen say that women should target body fat % of 17-20 before even considering skin removal surgery. Seeing as I'm still at body fat of 47%, it will be a while. For the record, I'm ready to be at that point, I'm so ready to be past this current phase/stage of the journey... however, I was never given a FF button, so, I have to live through the next 6-12 months while I continue losing weight. It is kind of fun to think that soon I will be approaching the same size as my younger sister, who has always been much smaller than me. While she was in high school, she swam and did equestrian, and wore a size 4. She is currently wearing size 12-14 clothing. Anyone else working to wrap their head around their new/ever changing body? I would love to hear from others about this.

Congratulations on the progress you are making, both in health and in life. It is a great feeling to be in control of our lives again, isn't it? My trainer tells me that I need to change things up once I start to stall. Good luck.

Congrats! Doesn't it feel wonderful to do things that we may not have been able to do even just a few months ago?

I am sorry to hear that your mom is working to help sabotage your progress. It definitely is not easy to do, and having someone who is trying to hold you back like that must be really discouraging. I'm here, anytime you need to chat.