MichiganGirl

Great news. No cancer treatment just a watch and see every 6 mos. And I go soon to hopefully get tube out! Ty tyall for the prayers for my wife, it worked!

I have to be careful with sweet drinks, but my downfall was like yours - bread and other complex carbs. But now, I can eat them - even a bagel, if I split into two Snacks - but I physically can't overdo it, and with the ghrelin-producing, crave and hunger-inducing hormone receptors in the trash along with the rest of my stomach, I don't WANT to overdo it! It's amazing to not want to over eat, and not just because I know I'll get sick. I'm just plain not interested. At a restaurant or a party (like my brother's wedding last night) it's hard because I want to eat as much as everyone else and serving sizes are huge, but in my day to day life I don't feel like I'm missing anything (except carbonation.)

I follow the same rules 99% of the time
Protein first
64 oz of Fluid...water, coffee, tea
veggies next
fruit on occasion
low sugar
low carb
exercise at least 3x's a week
no grazing
chew slowly
take 20 mins to eat a meal
I was not given a "don't eat" list. I was given a "eat in moderation" and "try" to eliminate the white food....rice, potatoes, Pasta, bread
That being said, I have had a couple bumps in the road. I gave in to the iced sugar Cookies at Christmas. And yesterday, valentines day, I did not watch a single thing I ate all day. It was not intentional at all!
I woke up late so I skipped Breakfast. I had a French vanilla cappacino at noon on the way to my sons basketball game. I didn't eat a bite of food until 2....when I had 1/3 of a bagel with peanutbutter. Oh my was that a mistake! I did more running around and didn't get to eat dinner until 8pm. By that point in my day all rules went out the window.....I had 1/2 piece of red velvet cake for dinner.
But....I'm human. Crap happens. I cant plan everything all the time. Life goes on.

I've found maintenance is about 300% harder than the honeymoon stage. But nothing good ever came easy.
The only easy day was yesterday, and the monkey is always on our backs.

@@HumanMerelyBeing yeah, I've been pretty pouty about the whole thing this week, lol. I vacillate between being kind to myself and kicking my own rear end. I also just really worry about my ability to maintain for the long term. I think much differently now than the first year. I knew it was a lifestyle change and would always be work, but I also couldn't fathom how things would change over time. I thought the physical changes from the surgery would be more permanent than they actually are. So I now know there is more to come. More changes that I don't see coming, and not sure that I'll be equipped to deal with. Surgery was totally worth it to me, and I'd do it again, but it really is unchartered Water for each of us. I always try to remember it's a lot more fun being thin and hungry than fat and hungry from the perpetual failed diet. That usually perks me up.

Oh yes, I agree it's easy to think all these things in our brain but to really retrain the heart...this is hard. I am transitioning now to year 2 and dealing with this realization (and dread) that I do kind of feel like I am dieting every day forever. There are days I get really down about this and feel very sad and sometimes mad (I don't know at who or what). When it comes down to it, and I am very honest, I am just really not a grown up in this area. At my core, I really do want to just eat what I want and have no consequences...I've just got the maturity of a child in this particular area.
And this is what I will be working on in year 2: accepting that this is going to be very hard. Accepting that I kind of am on a diet every day forever and that's OK. Accepting some amount of hunger. Accepting some amount of deprivation. Accepting that other thin women of my age also deal with this.
My battle plan includes coming here, going to my therapist, prayer, vigilance, getting back up after falls, being kind to myself, continuing to move, avoiding triggers of loneliness and boredom and not succumbing to my underlying fear of failure. I am appropriately scared about the changes in year 2, 3, 4 and beyond. I don't have a secure sense of my new "thin" future. I worry all the time about backsliding and wonder how I will fight the demons as CGJane so wisely says.

All true. I think we know all of that. There is a difference between knowing it and being at peace with it ALL the time. The first year is easy. Settling in to maintenance is a little different. Motivation has to come from a different place, other than the instant and constant gratification of weight loss. I've found that my sleeve has changed over time, and hunger has returned to some degree. A 1 year sleeve is different than a 2 year sleeve, and I'm certain it continues to change for some time. That's probably why statistically, regain happens around that time.
I think it's normal to get a little despondent at times at the thought of the tremendous amount of effort and focus it's going to take to stay at this place we all love - normal! Good for you if it's as simple as facing and understanding the facts about what it takes to lose and maintain, but I find it to be much more complex than that.
I find that sometimes its easier, sometimes its harder. Some days it's easy to revel in the joy of what I've accomplished and it's enough to keep me going. Other times, not so much. I'm human. I just do the best I can, but I'm under no illusion that accepting the known facts safeguard me against regain. All of those same things were true before WLS, too.....yet here we all are.

I think this reality is critical to face and understand. It's very hard to be a grown up and really face this:
1) At 5'2 and 41 years old, I probably only need 1100 calories in maintenance mode and need to be under 1000 to lose
2) There is very little room for carbs, sweets or treats
3) food cannot be the answer to joy, celebration or sorrow
4) It is possible to out-eat your exercise and graze through your sleeve restriction
If we treat these realities like gross deprivation and loss and a sense of self-pity: we will probably not be able to maintain this. If we replace some of these "losses" with other exciting and joyful things in life, we stand a chance.
To me, this is a total brain re-train (and heart). As the Good Book says, "For where your treasure is, so your heart will be also."

I have been wondering about how I will handle the maintenance part of all of this. Thank you for a real glimpse of what its like. There aren't enough threads that point out the mental fight. It helps to see others are fighting this and winning. Its reality.
I am only 5 mths out now and am about 1/2 way to where I want to be. I have days that are super easy for me and I'm on track with everything and life is so good! "This is the best thing I have ever done for myself!".....Then I have days and sometimes weeks where I fight the fight and the scale doesn't move....that's when I start wondering about how this is all going to pan out for me.
I never expected the weight to just fall off quickly and I would be model perfect, yay me! I never for a minute had any delusions of being thin and being able to eat the way I used to. But....my little brain keeps messing with me. The whole "is this worth it" question nags at me on occasion because this is more a mental challenge than a physical one. But, its okay. I am not alone. Thank God for therapists!
I know I will reach my goal. I know I will fight until I get there. I pray that I will fight just as hard to stay there! I know my biggest battle will be the maintenance.

@@CowgirlJane, thanks so much for this thread. At 13 months out and below goal for about 5, I'm not exactly a newbie, but definitely far from a veteran. I feel my weight loss and maintenance has been fairly easy to this point, but it's very good for me to read that this may not always be true. Knowing things will change and get harder in the years to come helps keep me grounded. I consider yours a great WLS success story and your post is a welcomed reality check for me. I hope you continue to have the strength to keep carrying on and to be happy with your choices.
And @@VSGAnn2014 I know exactly who you're talking about ????

Ann I don't track so I don't actually know. What I observe is I seem to need less than I did a year ago. I was injured by that lousy personal trainer and so stopped my uber high intensity workouts since I was in physical therapy and then summer came..and then I got distracted. So I am still active but haven't been working out hard like I used to. I suspect that I have lost muscle so that is part of the issue. I used to have very defined arm, shoulder and leg muscles....now, not so much. I am starting kickboxing next week though!

I wish I could quit the food noise in my head! Ice cream, chocolate... just thinking about food.

@@esskay77, When I read your post, in my head I heard the Homer Simpson voice saying, "mmm...delicious chemicals...aaaaacccchhh" (or however you'd spell that drooling noise he makes), lol!

*sigh*
All true, and well said, @@CowgirlJane . That post is right about where I am, right now. I have a lot of will power, and I can pretty much do most things I put my mind to. I'm not one who even worries about difficulty, short term pain, or is short sighted when it comes to long term gain. The realization is really settling in for me that this is my life. Forever. I will go to my grave trying to keep from gaining weight by eating very little, and I'll be discouraged every time I eat a little more and gain.
I have also had to wonder if it's worth it. I'm trying to get to goal, which you know has been elusive for me. I'm struggling with a lot of stress in my life right now, and it's all I can do to maintain some days, let alone eat the 500-800 calories required for weight loss. In the grand scheme of things. it is absolutely worth it to maintain this weight, but I'm not sure getting to 140 pounds is worth the effort. I'm not ready to quit trying just yet, but I think it is a valid question. What am I really trying to accomplish?
So, for me, I pick the lesser of the evils. I REALLY don't want to gain any of that weight back, so I just keep doing the best I can....and not spend too much time thinking like this! I have to be Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind and just think about it another day

the truth is, people who arent going through or havent gone through this just don't understand that while the surgery may be once ( or more depending) this lifestyle change isn't a one time event, it;s a lifetime event. While I don't relish the struggle, and i know ill have some pitfalls , none of us is perfect, ill accept that, but we have to do what we can when we can. And i have the utmost faith in you cowgirljane. and hopefully in myself. I can see how this can just throw anyone for a loop, it took me 4 years of constant soul searching to decide if i had the (excuse my words) testicular fortitude to carry this through . I do have those thoughts like, "Well, when I can I'll just have ONE sandwich and SOME french fries. Or ill just have a side salad with my turkey club. But the realization that even that is something that is seemingly out of my reach forever, is...depressing and always threatens to overtake me, but i lean on people. Here and my wife , friends, and coworkers etc.

I do like that image of modeling good behavior. Actually, it was funny but we were talking about mixed drinks at a local bar and i told them that I choose a vodka soda with lime - and my colleague said something about how that was pretty dang healthy for a mixed drink..ha
This is what success looks like. Well, one version of it anyway. I am not perfect, I fail pretty regularly in fact, but i get back up and keep going. It sometimes gets tiring, something I am not sure I related to even a year ago. I think THAT is an important message for newbies. I am astounded by the number of posts from people who never get to goal, or who get to goal and then have a regain and they are shocked by the experience - like they didn't "get" that the weight slides back on after the honeymoon period if you don't really manage it aggressively. The surgery is absolutely what I needed to get to where I am at, so I do not intend to be discouraging, but rather realistic. Anybody who thinks that maintaining a massive weight loss over the long haul is easy certainly isn't walking in my shoes. I hope it is easier for others, I really do. I thought for quite awhile that i could eat more than i really should (meaning, if i eat that much I regain)....
Some posts made by people in the honeymoon period make it sound easier than i think it really is over the long haul. I can think of a few people who don't actually post here anymore that were gung ho perfect exercise and "food planners" and I do wander if they have sustained that over time. I am determined to continue to walk a liveable balance between weight management and enjoying life. Some days are just harder than others.

So, I am hanging out right at my goal weight, which is higher than my lowest weight. I knew this was very likely to happen and so on the one hand, i am okay with it, but on the other hand, I feel fatigued by it. I know that I need to stabilize/re-lose a few pounds to keep that "cushion" between me and the 200s or 300s.... but I grow tired of it sometimes
In the past, that seemed very do-able. Buckle down, go back to basics, do Protein first, do 5:2, change up exercise. For whatever reason, right now, while it seems possible I had one of those pity parties where I asked myself what is fair about me eating a pittance of food, spinning on my bike and yet still struggling to keep a normal weight. I watch others eat a whole lot more than me and I sometimes want to eat with abandon too. The thought crossed my mind... is this REALLY worth it?!??!???
Then, I thought about the people I was comparing my eating to. Example - I went into the office yesterday and did a day long workshop so got to see people eat lunches - large portions and of course Cookies for snack later. The two ladies i sat next to are considerably younger than me - one is obese and the other is morbidly obese by my judgement. I had to remind myself that they are still healthy, but they are heading down my former path and I cannot let myself go back or else i go back to feeling ill, feeling like i was becoming disabled, feeling hopeless.
Anyway, it is worth it, but this is the first time I have ever really questioned it. I think I understand a bit more why people regain years out from surgery. We all know that you have to maintain a healthy lifestyle etc but I am telling you - my experience is that "lifestyle changes" UNDERSTATES the level of effort required. I don't even really eat junk food, but I still need to really watch what I eat - this is beyond "healthy choices" this is eating very small, eating the right things very consistently or else I will regain. This whole thing about an average healthy woman needing 1800-2000 calories a day to maintain is bogus. i don't eat anywhere near that and I know many of my fellow vets that are maintaining don't either.
So, as I used to say, but haven't in awhile...."carry on... what choice do we really have?"

Glad to hear this!
As you well know, a leak is serious business and recovery can be slow. There are many people I have seen on this forum over the 3 plus years I have been posting that recover well and do great with the sleeve. Every one of them has been just fine at the end of the day.
Wishing you a speedy recovery and so sorry you have to go through this!

I really wish I could quit you... a certain person in my life - ha!

I absolutely have to take myself physically away from the food--and start thinking of something else. And I'm not always successful at doing that--I fight it every day--especially when I'm at work. I don't know if it's avoidance of doing something I don't want to do--or I just like to have something in my mouth. Sometimes gum will help.

Not sure who's yelling at who. Those who get their knickers in a knot ... yawn. Skip what you don't like and carry on.
Anyway, back to the topic ...
I, too, was in NOLA last week. Good times.
I am addicted to My Fitness Pal. But even MFP doesn't have calories for a few dishes I sampled last week in amazing restaurants (!!!). So for the first time in 5-1/2 months I couldn't fill out MFP meals on a couple of days.
However, I did pretty much what @@CowgirlJane and others suggested -- I ate Protein first, ate very small amounts of luscious amounts of things I knew I could never find on MFP, and did not overdrink. And I even had a beignet and cafe' au lait at Cafe du Monde. BTW, a Cafe du Monde beignet actually is listed in MFP. I think it's only 175 calories.
Oh ... and this morning (Monday morning) when I did my weekly weigh-in I had lost 1.8 pounds last week. Huzzah!
I also did a LOT of walking all over town, including Audubon Park. That's the great thing about active vacations -- you can get a lot of exercise in. And just because it's there doesn't mean you have to eat it. Or overeat it.
No sure the above means I'm a self-righteous dieting Nazi or someone who sinned with beignets.
LOL!

I am 3 years post op and I travel and surely eat "crazy bad foods" sometimes.
Here are my thoughts - take it or leave it - I think that when you do a vacation trip it is MOST important to keep portions small and to not graze. So have that butter laden whatever, but just a tiny bit. don't let yourself munch and snack all day - eat enough to be satiated, eat those 4-5 mini meals (or whatever your program calls for). reason I say this is that you really haven't gone off your routine or caused long term problems, you are just eating higher calorie/higher carb food for a few days and it is much easier to go back to your routine once you get home. If you let yourself "stuff yourself" you will be hungrier and it might be harder to get back on track immediately.
I also try to stay really active on vacation and stay away from "food oriented" vacations. March last year I spent 8-9 days in Mexico, I actually lost weight even though I had been at goal for a year already.
when I drink, I stay away from sugary mixers.
So, this applies probably more to people who have alot to lose. I was determined to get to goal, but had to lose over 150# to do it. what I knew is that the honeymoon periond only lasts "so long" so I didn't drink, didn't go eating junky food and really didn't allow myself food vacations until after getting to goal. I realize this isn't for everyone, but in my case, it was something that was very important to me. That first year post op wasn't filled with fun and frolic for me, it was filled with disciplined eating and exercise. I only share this - not as any kind of judgement - but so that newbies reading this don't think that I lost that kind of weight in that time frame any other way - reality check.

One problem that can come up after weight loss surgery is cooking for one person. You need to cook healthy meals, but you can only eat tiny portions. And, you can’t take a day, or even a meal, off. You need each healthy meal and snack, and nobody’s going to make it for you.


You may already be used to cooking if you cook for the entire family, but now you might need to cook separate meals for yourself if you no longer eat what they do. On the other hand, you may be learning to cook for the first time, especially if you used to eat out instead of cooking for yourself before weight loss surgery. It’s also possible that your significant other used to be the family chef, but you need to take charge and cook for yourself now to make sure you stick to your weight loss surgery diet.
On top of everything else, you still have the real-life time and money constraints that everyone has. How can you possibly stick to your weight loss surgery diet without getting bored out of your mind, wasting food and money, and spending all of your spare time in the kitchen?
This series of articles will look at some strategies for cooking for one after weight loss surgery. In the first article, we have strategies for approaching the kitchen when you’re cooking for just yourself. The second article has a few helpful recipes. Finally, the third and fourth articles will help you stock your kitchen.
Don’t forget to check out the BariatricPal conversation on this topic for tons of tips from other BariatricPal members. Add your ideas to the mix!
Organization is Key
The more you plan, the better you’ll be able to handle cooking for yourself. This is true whether you’re cooking for one or for the entire family, but when you are cooking for one, nobody else is depending on you to follow through. The dedication needs to come from within.
Use the weekends to prepare what you can. Plan your meals, buy the ingredients, and make some recipes. Then, divide the recipes into single-serving portions, put some in the fridge, and freeze the rest. You can make:
Soups, using almost any combination of broth, vegetables, and lean Proteins such as Beans, chicken, turkey, and shrimp.
Stews, chilis, stir-frys, and casseroles.
High-protein muffins.

You can also prepare some ingredients to use later in the week. Wash, peel, and chop your veggies and fruits, cook a pot of beans, and cook some chicken, ground turkey, or fish to freeze for quick use later.
Playing with Portions
Portions need to be small on your weight loss surgery diet. You basically have two choices when it comes to cooking. You can make regular-sized recipes, divide them into weight loss surgery-sized portions, and store these portions in individual packets or containers. The benefits are that you get to make more interesting recipes, and you have multiple meals on hand after cooking only once.
Or, you can make small single-serving recipes that you make up or get from someone else. That way, you don’t need to worry about measuring individual portions after you cook the recipe. If you love what you made and eat the whole thing, you don’t need to feel guilty about overeating. But, cooking this way can be a little more effort because you won’t have leftovers.
The best approach is to do a little of each. Make some full-sized dishes to depend on during the week, and fill in the rest of your diet with single-serving meals and Snacks.< /p>
Don’t Overdo It or Get Intimidated
Unless you’re one of the few people who just loves to cook and has enough time and energy to do so, you’re not going to want to cook a gourmet dish for every single meal and snack. That’s okay. Don’t put pressure on yourself to do so. There are plenty of ways you can cheat on your kitchen time without cheating on your diet or cheating your taste buds.
These are some other ways to catch a break in the kitchen.
Eat out, drive through, or order in. Really. It’s okay. Whether it’s a side salad with low-fat balsamic vinaigrette dressing and a grilled chicken patty from McDonald’s (150 calories, 22 grams of protein) or half of a Chicken Bella dinner with zucchini and spaghetti squash from Ruby Tuesday (260 calories, 23 grams of protein), you can fit it into your diet. Just stay away from the baby-back ribs, Pasta, and burgers and fries that can be over 1,000 calories per order.
Use meal helpers. Heat up a tray of Green Giant Just for One cauliflower and cheese or Italian seasoned broccoli and carrots and serve it with chicken or tuna, or toss tofu with bag of frozen stir-fry vegetables.
Take advantage of easy meal options, like whole grain Cereal mixed with Greek yogurt and fruit, canned tuna or salmon with cottage cheese, and low-fat string cheese and baby carrots for a snack.
Frozen meal have preservatives, but the occasional one can help you out by keeping you from eating something far worse out of desperation. Choose ones with lean Protein, at least one serving of veggies – unless you’re planning to add your own – and a whole grain or starchy vegetable instead of potatoes or a refined grain. It’s far better to eat an entire low-fat frozen pizza for 290 calories than to order in an 8-slice large pepperoni pizza for 300 calories a slice.
Learn to love leftovers. When you make too much, get excited about saving it and using it another time. Also, get creative with your ingredients. If you eat half a can of tuna for a snack, figure out how you will use the rest in a different way so you don’t get bored and the tuna doesn’t go to waste. For example, you can make a tuna melt with fat-free cheese on a portobello mushroom.

Now that you are in the mood and have the right mentality for cooking for one, it’s time to get to the specifics. Stay tuned for the next article, which will have tips for Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks for one.

There are so many little hidden gems to getting this surgery that outweigh the dread.
- Getting on a plane and not having all the eyes looking at you, praying you don't sit next to them.
-Going out to fancier dinners and having it be cheap cause you order off the appetizer menu.
-Knowing that everything in a clothing store will come in your size.
-much better sex
-not feeling like you are going to knock people over on a crowded sidewalk.
- hiking or swimming or tennis or whatever you used to dread cause it tired you out and hurt your knees, now is fun and a great way socialize.
As much as the health, the quality of life just multiplies. Your fears were my fears and will be the fears of future WLS folk, but you have to take into account the joy. There will be tough times, initially there will be pain. But time keeps moving ahead and what really sticks in those memories are the good times, the loving moments, the prideful senses of accomplishments. It's ok to be afraid, but also get excited, that's the emotion to grab ahold of.
Good luck.

Define normal. Is it "normal" to be morbidly obese? Is it normal to worry about whether you fit in a chair? On a plane ride? Is it normal not be able to go into a department store and shop for clothing? Only you define what's normal for you your life and people redefine their lives all the time.