phewforaminutethere

Ah, the dating life. I miss it like I miss stomach flu.
This would be my next conversation with your boyfriend.

Hon, I love you very much. The last 13 months have been great, but it is but a small glimpse of my life. Those who know me well, my family, know the struggles I have gone through in my life and are supportive of this decision. I understand WLS is an unknown for you. You cannot know my experience and I would not wish morbid obesity on anyone just so they could know my plight. Your statement about WLS being the easy way out and me being lazy is just ignorant. You can choose to break up with me over this, but this will be your loss just as I can choose to break up with you for not being supportive of me and my struggles. If this is how you are going to try to control me, then it is probably be best if we do break up now as I don't need this kind of drama in my life right now.

So, choose now. Support me and we can grow closer together as we embark on this journey, or you can take the easy way out and break up with me. But that would just be lazy, now wouldn't it?

My husband and I are in a similar situation. We live in Texas and have UHC through our employers, but WLS is covered by our plans. However, the way the surgery is covered is separate from the way everything else is covered and has it's own special deductibles and co-pays. Long story short, once you've finally jumped through all the hoops (including a year-long medically supervised diet) and been approved, you are still going to end up paying a minimum of $18,000 out of pocket.
We also talked to Dr. Kim's office about the Making Bariatrics Affordable program, but ultimately we decided to go with the Dallas Bariatric Center, with Dr. Jayaseelan. They have a similar program, and it will end up costing up approximately $4,800 each for the surgery. We've already had our initial consult with Dr. Jay and plan for my husband to get sleeved in September and for me to get sleeved once we can save up enough money to pay for it. At the very latest, it would be September 2015, but I'm hoping we can make it more like March or April 2015.

I have just started exploring surgery and gathering info and I just have to say, all of your responses are really insightful and helpful to me as I start this part of my life. I've only told my partner, sister and best friend about exploring surgery as an option for myself (all reacted positively, they've seen my struggle) and I have been very hesitant to bring it up with others (like co-workers or other people I know) because I'm not sure how they'd react.

...don't come down on folks when they offer it.
Especially if you are new to the WLS experience and the vets respond to you. We see the same questions over and over and over again and we still take the time to answer you because we know that for you, it's the first time you are going through this.
It would be so easy for us vets to leave the forum and live our lives successfully but we stay here because we remember how it was at the beginning or if we see that you are struggling during the WLS journey....so we stay here and try to help. Please think about that if you don't like how we've responded. It's not because we know better....it's because we simply know more than you do right now. Respect that please.
We try so hard to be sympathetic when you screw up or ask questions that you already know the answers to...like I didn't lose 5 lbs. in one week, is this a stall? Or, I ate a bag of chips...did I do bad?
I've been on this forum for a year and a half and in that time, I've seen too many vets take a hike and it's often because they are rebuffed when they offer insights or even just their own personal experiences. If you want this forum to succeed, and if you personally want to succeed...be aware of what you say either on the forum or when you PM. Especially when you PM.
And one more thing. I didn't post this on Rants and Raves because it's not a rant. It's a request.

After my second " why don't you try dieting and exercise one more time" speech, I changed my response. My inner smart ass came out. I thanked them for new insight that dieting and exercise would help me lose weight, since obviously I had NEVER tried it before. Not my finest moments, but what was said, was said. But I must add that this put a quick end to their zealous concerns.

The only person who made any snide remarks about my decision to have weight loss surgery was the woman at the hospital who performed some of my pre-admission testing. She was clearly overweight herself, and told me that she did not think iIwas heavy enough for the surgery.
So, in spite of the fact that my spine was collapsing from carrying over 100 pounds too much, and many serious health issues related to the weight, she let it be known that I should try harder at diet and exercise. (Yeah, how was THAT working out for me? I had been on one diet after another since 1978.)
When I got my Press-Gainey survey in the mail, I mentioned the incident in detail and how unprofessional it was of her to offer her own diagnosis of my condition, when her only responsibility was to do an unltrasound of my liver, and an EKG.
I know a lot of people don't bother with the survey forms they get, but coming from a retired hospital housekeeping manager,I am here to tell you that the surveys do make a difference. The feedback is extremely valuable. It is one of your tools in being an outspoken advocate for your own healthcare. A good experience needs to be mentioned as well as the bad. Sometimes it is the only patient follow-up that the hospital's administration gets.

I have been careful about who I share with - a very good friend let me know that eventually everyone would figure it out since the weight would come off - I am very luck that where I work we are all very supportive of each other, as I began to share, some before and some after, I have received excellent positive support from my co-workers. Outside of my department I haven't talked about it much, but I know I will get questions eventually as I am usually involved with other departments. And my customers - they will notice too - especially since we only see each other about once every two months or so... I have a friend that brags about self-control (She lost about 30 lbs while going through a divorce) and about how she is now a hot cougar, I can't imagine telling her - she would immediately say why can't you do it like I did? I don't have the balls to say "you mean get divorced?"

I use this basic EatSmart Precision scale. It's always been nearly exactly the same as my doctor's. I've had mine for years and I've had no issues with it. http://amzn.com/B001KXZ808