Q2theT

It depends on the person/situation. If someone wants to talk to me directly about religion -- "what church do you attend?" (lol, always with the assumption), "do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?" anything like that, I just answer with some close variation of "I'm not religious. At all." I say it like I mean it and they usually get the point. If they persist, I just say I have something to do and walk away.
For people who are having a general conversation about political or social or cultural stuff and their point of view is flavored by religion, I usually just add a polite comment and leave. If pressed, I've been known to say something like "well, I completely disagree but I've found it's impossible to argue with someone's religious views so I think it's best I not say anything else."
And for the basic "have a blessed Easter!" type comments I either remember my good manners and say "thank you! You too!" or if I'm feeling snarky I will smile, say thank you and give them a very enthusiastic "Happy Passover!" (or whatever nearby non-Christian holiday might be lurking around). I try not to do that too much because it seems to make them feel oppressed and like they are victims of a "War on Christmas" or whatever nonsense is being spouted on Faux News lately.
I sometimes feel like a small blue atheist dot awash in a red theocratic (Christian, always Christian) state.

Sunny,
I have decided to go with Dr. Ganta! His seminar was very informative, and my one-on-one consult was wonderful. I had a consult with Dr. Kim, too. While I know he's more than competent as a surgeon - he told me himself how skilled he is ;^) - I did not have the instant rapport that I did with Dr. Ganta. Dr. G seems so concerned and invested in my personal success, and I know that if I'm putting forth my best effort, he will help me tailor my follow-up so that I can get the most out of my sleeve. He was so patient and I never once felt rushed or intimidated by him. I look forward to working with him - July 1st can't get here fast enough!

So excited, I got my date. July 10th and I will be on to a new and healthy chapter of my life!

I'm July 1st, too! I'm self-pay, though, so I've not had to deal with the elongated waiting period.

I have always been the rock in my family. When things go bad my entire family turns to me, and I am usually strong enough to carry everyone through it. I use to do that and then come home and curl up in bed with a book and a 1/2 gallon of ice cream to drown my sorrows, or to sooth my stress. I have ALWAYS been a stress eater and my sleeve has helped that almost completely. A few weeks ago I had a nasty fight with my step-dad, he said some cruel things to my daughter and to me, he has a bad habit of not thinking before speaking and hurting peoples feelings. Well I had just had enough and I as you so very well put it "felt my feelings" and I let him have it. My mom defended him, after he made my 12 year old cry over her new hairstyle, and my mom is my Best Friend. Well when she defended him, some past hurt from her previous marriage (to an abuser) came out, and in the past I would have shoved those feelings back down with a box of Cookies and a quart of milk, without that option I just told her how I felt. When she told my sister how I felt, and what I had said, my sister (who is also morbidly obese) said, well we all felt that way, but Mandy finally said something. It's like she has all this courage now that she is thin. Then my sister called me and said, "way to go standing up to him and mom". I guess the more weight I lose the more my brain to mouth filter shrinks too. I'm not cruel, but I am honest. Sometimes to a fault. But that's how I live my life. I have always been honest, but was really good as sugar coating, and that just isn't happening anymore. I wrote this about 6 weeks post-op and I think in a small way it applies:
why is it that sometimes the thing we fear the most is evaluation of our lives? And self evaluation is the hardest. We are our own worst critics. I know that I look back over my experiences and think what the hell was I thinking? I have made mistakes, and most of them have been a learning experience. Others, well I'm still searching for those lessons. My head swims with thoughts, experiences, conversations, and still I seek more, more knowledge, more value in actions, and more experiences. I don't want my life to come to a conclusion, and I look back on a boring or worse sad life. I want to look back and say, I have lived, and now I'm ok to die. I want to be ready to let go. I don't want to say, wait, I have more to do. I tell people what I think, and never say goodbye without an I love you, to those that matter. I give my heart freely, and without expectation of anything in return. I try to express myself openly and honestly. Can this end in heartbreak? sure, but do we really know we are alive in a perfect world? I think the risks of getting hurt is totally worth it for those times that you discover that people care about you too. What if you didn't say something and the love of your life felt the same way, but was affraid to speak up? It would be tragic to live in that kind of isolation. People always talk about living life to the fullest, but how many have danced in the rain? Or reached out and held hands with a close friend, just to feel them closer? A wise man said that the rain lets you know you are real, and that no matter how wet you get, you will always dry off. That is a soul that really lives life. If you were told tomorrow that you had 6 months to live, would that be enough time to make things right in your life? Do you have a bucket list that is a mile long with nothing checked off? I don't, know why? I live life as it comes, one day at a time. Live, love, laugh....indeed.

I think I was around three months out when I got into a deep funk. I could not put my finger on it, I just felt "off". I suffered through it for a while, probably a good two months or more, before I started to understand what I was going through. ( and I have to say I only think I understand it) At around three months the shine was off the penny in some ways. The reality of "this is my life" was setting in. All the magic things I had imagined didn't all happen. I was still in my life, living the same life. My only real change was I wasn't eating as much as I lived and now I weigh less. I know it is completely irrational to believe that somehow everything would magically change by just having the surgery, but there was some deep part of my brain that held on to that nugget of impossibility. I still had bills to pay, and my income didn't get any bigger. I still have a 5yr old to raise, and I didn't become "super mom". I still have relationship issues ( as in NONE), and my newly shaped body didn't change that. All the things I wish would change have remained the same, except I have lost a lot of weight. It was kind of hard to deal with for a while. I had to redefine myself and my expectations. Along the way I did have a meltdown here and there. I snapped on a coworker, but it was something I held in for years. Was it because I had no other recourse? Or because I am finally able to stand up for myself to the things I can no longer take? No easy answer. But it helped me understand I am changing, slowly. I can't turn to food to soothe, although at times the old "fat brain" REALLY wants to! What I can turn to is me. Hey, I did this. I made a drastic decision to change something and by GOD I am doing it. I am not perfect, there are a lot of areas in my life I need change. But at least one little area is and that finally helped pull me from the funk. That and maybe the fact winter finally ended! LOL I now try hard to concentrate on what I can do, not what I can't or haven't. Small things, like planning a day full of errands and getting them all done. I didn't wear out half way through because I am so fat I can barely move. No.. I can set goals and see them through. At least some times, which is a start. Try not to expect too much of yourself, just not yet. It is a HUGE emotional road ahead, not just physical. You will feel things you never expected and will have to figure out ways to deal with it. I am really glad you have support and I am sure you will find that light at the end of your tunnel!

I'm a patient of Dr. Gantas here in Austin. I was sleeved on 1/14/14 and I could not be happier. Dr. G is so supportive and knowledgable. He has been chief of surgery all over the world literally. I attend a weight loss group monthly here in Austin and I would say he is one of the most respected doctors for professionalism and bedside manner before and after surgery here in the bariatric community. I attribute a large part of my success to his struck rigiman. I could not be more great flu to him. I was lucky and did not endure a single problem post op, but a lot of my friends at the weight loss meetings who see him and did have problems post op say he is very good at aggressively treating any issues that would arise. Also when you call after hours and leave a message he personally calls you back. I actually did this on a Sunday a week after surgery. It really impresses me how involved with patient care he is. Good luck in your decision.

And just so everyone knows... They are very attractive. My aunt came to visit in the hospital and when Dr D came in wearing his scrubs her jaw dropped. Mind you- my aunt is super skinny and she was like... Uh.., is that your doctor?? What else does he work on? LOL it was so funny.
No matter who you choose, we are all here to support you! I wish, for you, a great surgeon that you can talk to and feel comfy talking to. Good luck!