JustWatchMe

Hugs to you. This is abuse. I left my narcissist 9 months ago and filed for divorce. I tried the marriage counseling route with him. He made a mockery of it and the therapist dropped us because he was so uncooperative and belligerent. You're worth more than this. I wish you luck but it didn't get better for me, only worse. Leaving him was the smartest thing I've ever done.

Yep

I wasn't going to post here, just read along, but this thread has been on my mind. I kept thinking, how is it different from something like breast implants? I would feel no need to tell somebody I'd had breast implants, or corrective dentistry, etc., so why would I feel compelled (and I think I probably would feel it) to bring up my WLS? I think the difference is that WLS is such a turning point in our emotional lives. At least mine. Before and after. I didn't become my real self until I did it. Until I lost the weight. I was newly thin when I met my husband decades ago. I ended up telling him about my former obesity on our second or third date. I even showed him pictures. He was newly thin himself and had lost about sixty pounds on Weight Watchers right before I met him. I somehow felt like I needed to say all that in order to know if he would truly accept me. "Love me, love my former obese self" (?) Having said that, and having lived a lot of years since then, would I make that same choice with someone new? I don't know. I don't think so. Not that fast, anyway. My motives back then were to be accepted. I'm trying not to base my self worth on what others choose to accept about me. But a romantic relationship? I don't know. Good topic.

I eat all kinds of food. Probably more veggies than I did pre op. Gas every day. Not horrible or anything, but the stomach rumbling is definitely loud.

I'm from the suburbs of Chicago. Age 54 and becoming more fabulous every day. I work in IT. My official title is programmer/analyst, but most of my hours are spent juggling emergencies or holding users' hands. It's cool. It's good to be needed. I'm reclaiming my life one day at a time. I was married for 23 years to someone to whom I refer here as NSETBEx. "Not Soon Enough to be Ex." I filed for divorce and left him 9 months ago, when his emotional and financial abuse went into overdrive. My college aged daughters and my dog came with me. We're presently living somewhat awkwardly with my mom while the divorce, which he is contesting, creeps painfully forward. I've gone No Contact. Anyone who has had a narcissist in her/his life will know what that means. Day by day I find new ways to affirm my mind, body and soul. It's not easy, but I'm not going back to the old way I used to live, which was stuck in self-blame and fear. Today I act as if I am fearless. Most days I believe it. I believe in karma and live life accordingly. My girls are my world. I'm working on making me my world. I attend CoDA, OA, and individual counseling (related to the divorce). I'm extremely teachable and thrive on the stories and experiences of others. NSETBEx referred to that as "brainwashing". He can suck it. I'm happy to be in this group, and I like to keep it real. Life's too short for bu//$#!+. PleezedTaMeetcha!

I always keep protein powder single serving packs in my desk at work and the cupboard at home. All I need is a bottle of water and I've got a shake in a pinch.

So true. Back on track now always means my next meal. Not tomorrow or Monday. Love these tips.

And don't forget Aqua Zumba! I can't do land based Zumba due to my bad knees. But Aqua Zumba is a blast.

I use a similar trick to see if I can recognize satiety. After I eat a reasonable amount, I interrupt my meal. I actually get up and go to the bathroom. Usually when I come back, that raging hunger is dimmed and often gone entirely. It really works!

Smart ass is easier to spell. ????

I straightened out my food and gave up alcohol this weekend. Weighed myself today and up another pound and a half. After the disbelief passed, I realized that: 1: I forgot to take my blood pressure pill yesterday. It has a pretty strong diuretic in it. 2: I ate kalamata olives, pickles and giardiniera with my lunch and leftovers for dinner yesterday. Not a lot, but HELLO SODIUM? When I couldn't get my rings off or on without soaping them up yesterday and today, it should have triggered this realization. Anyway, I'm staying the course and staying low sodium for a few days as well. I really want to feel strong and confident next week when I have to face the NSETBEx in court for the first time since I left him last year. I've been no contact for nine months and I'm nervous.

@bacon. The only beat down you're going to get here is for wanting a beat down. You need a lift up. So here it is. You, my friend, are the man who inspired me to start walking. I now routinely walk over two miles on my lunch hour, several days a week. If I can get my rear out of my chair and start loving walking, you can be lifted out of your slump. Stay connected here. We need you. On your good days and your bad days.

"We're not worthy!" Oh, wait. Yes, I am.

Hello my peeps! I had a great weekend filled with lots of people. I went to my CODA meeting today and talked about giving up alcohol. My head is in a very good place today. I've been more mindful about slowing down my chewing. This has resulted in better satiety and an easier time stopping when satisfied, instead of when the plate's clean. I won't get a lunch break tomorrow at all. So I'll bring chicken salad to work. My body feels better today. Lighter and cleaner.

Nope. No acid reflux for me. Can you see if your surgeon can check your band? This isn't normal.

Hoping it's temporary? Try to get back to the newbie mindset. Pretend you were just banded and have the post op protocol. Liquids, then transition to soft foods then regular foods. Are you going to get fluid back in eventually or look into a revision? Why did you have an unfill? Good luck. I've heard that it's a difficult time but NOT impossible to stay on track after an unfill.

Yes! Just like weight loss, begin where you are and work from there. You have the perfect attitude to be a successful adult student. Yay! And please don't be embarrassed about math levels. I'm a reasonably successful IT person, and I stopped being able to help my daughters with their school math at the high school level, even though I had to take many years of math beyond that for my computer science degree back in the Fred Flintstone age. I applaud you for your bravery to take charge of your life and for your common sense. None of us ever succeeded at anything by focusing on what we couldn't do. Only on what is possible. Help is out there! Take it and RUN with it!

Glad to be here with all of you. Last night was a big success. I was the DD for my pals and drank one glass of cranberry juice and about ten glasses of Water all night. food was planned and moderate. The band we saw was quite good. Today I have a birthday outing to a restaurant/winery with another dear friend, planned weeks ago. She will understand and I'll just have tea. Her 20 year old son is going through alcohol detox right now. No explanations will be necessary. After I posted here about this, I had an incredible feeling of lightness the rest of my day. It was like, OK. A decision was made. By me, nobody else. I'm taking charge of my life. This is good. And it is. I'm not stressing over the weight gain. It will come off, sooner rather than later. I logged in MyFitnessPal yesterday and I may do that again for a while. Get a reality check. Busy weekend for me with food and social events. Birthday outing at lunch. Movie night with my bestie. No crapcorn. Tomorrow a couple I became friends with this year is taking me out for lunch for my birthday. It's all good.

Shaving my legs in the bathtub sitting down! Sitting down in the bathtub!

Congratulations! I was dizzy a little a few months in. Actually about 6-7 months in. But it passed. I attribute it to my lower body weight not being adjusted to my blood pressure meds. Everything evened out over time. I wasn't tired though. I actually had tons of energy for the first time in years. Like tmf said, keep up with your fills. I'm a year out and doing great and I'm still being adjusted. You'll do fine!

My first six weeks post op of full liquids was hard but my surgeon wants his banded patients to have maximum weight loss right out of surgery. I was very motivated to follow directions, so I did, but you better believe I wallowed a bit! Like you, I went through Easter (and my birthday) last year on liquids. My husband didn't change a thing, but I didn't expect him to. (We're now divorcing, unrelated to WLS.). Anyway, it gets much better as the weight starts to fall off. Hang in there. It's all worth it.

Congrats @@Rogofulm!!

Yes Lisa. More often lately actually. It's Friday. The clock ticks down to the weekend ....

I'm a little south of u and it is beautiful here today.Dupage here. Yep!

What a beautiful day in Chicagoland. Having my Unwich in a busy, noisy Jimmy John's. Thinking of all the years I would never eat alone in a restaurant. Now I feel right at home with the normies. Eating well and slowly and moderately. Happy weekend, everyone!