JustWatchMe

That my band will erode or slip or just stop working. It's been fine so far.

TL; DR: this is a post about 12-step recovery. Your mileage may vary. food was never the problem. Food was the solution. The problem has always been the build up of normal human emotions. This is not an original thought from me, JWM. I heard this in an OA podcast. The speaker, Harlan G., discusses the twelve step recovery program of Overeaters Anonymous in detail, and at length, and describes how he has recovered from compulsive overeating, giving him 17 years of abstinence and several hundred pounds of weight loss, from a high weight of 700 pounds. I am blessed to have had the resources to get WLS and my LapBand nearly two years ago. I am blessed to have found my way back to OA and am vigorously working a program of recovery that addresses the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of my disease of food addiction. I need both. Since my surgery in March of 2014, I filed for divorce and moved out of my home with my college age daughters, leaving behind an abusive and controlling spouse who will not let go. He continues to be openly aggressive to me and our daughters and we have gone "no contact" as much as possible. The divorce should come to a conclusion three months from now. This two years had been, by far, the most stressful of my life. I began therapy for my divorce shortly after moving out, and my therapist recommended Codependents Anonymous. CODA helped immediately. From there, I soon found my way back to OA which I had been in decades before. I began working the program, and finally got a sponsor in December last year. Working the OA program with a sponsor and attending lots of meetings gave my weight loss the kick in the pants it needed. I found myself addressing the daily emotions head on instead of hiding in the food. I was now able to make the changes I wasn't willing to make the first year and a half after my WLS. I put down the fried food. I put down the alcohol. I put down the prescription pain pills that I "needed" for my knee pain. I put down the buckets of movie crapcorn I was eating every week. I put down the Thai noodles that I would fantasize about during my work day and run to like a lover at 5pm. I put these things down and I felt so much better. I didn't feel good. I "felt" better. I felt pain better. I felt sadness better. I felt anxiety better. I felt worry better. I felt like a walking, talking rubber band wound up tight and ready to snap. And sometimes I snapped. I went to OA and CODA meetings nearly every day. I went to my therapist every two weeks. But once every two weeks isn't enough for the daily buildup of normal human emotions that is life. And that is where my OA sponsor and the people in these 12-step programs come in. I have a network of help that I can rely on daily. Whenever I need it. The miracle of modern texting allows me to vent to an understanding person 24/7. And sooner or later that person replies and I get a perspective on my problem or situation I didn't have before. I reach out and get out of my own head every day to help somebody else. And I am recovering. One day at a time, I am recovering. I no longer think about food all day long. I plan it, I commit it, I log it, I stick to it. And consequently, my LapBand miraculously is now at the right level of fill and works perfectly. I also practice self care in other, important ways. I listen to meditation recordings. I pull out my markers and I color in adult coloring books. I get foot and shoulder massages monthly. I meet with friends weekly. I give my dog his nightly Raindrop oil massage and it relaxes us both. Food was never the problem. Today it is no longer the solution. This has been my path of recovery. I expect I'll be on a path of recovery for the rest of my life. That's cool. Today I have a life.

The model has no butt either. Just sayin. Signed, No Butt JWM

Asking again since I think what I did isn't working. How do you do this? @@Alex Brecher

Welcome back to band land! Keep posting!

Still laughing at "butt load"

How do you subscribe and unsubscribe to a thread? iPhone. Also is there a quick way to update your weight?

Congratulations!!

I commit my food plan each day ahead of time to an OA sponsor. I can change it, but I choose to let her know and I also record the change in MyFitnessPal. OA is not for everyone, but it helps me immensely. There used to be an accountability group here on these boards as well. That helps a lot of people. Just planning ahead, committing to it, and saying it out loud to somebody else keeps me from eating off plan. Good luck!

Babbs is evil.

Love this!

I've gone back to daily weighing. I'm still losing. If my food is clean and I've been recording it accurately, I don't worry if I'm up even two pounds from the day before. I know it will come back off. The one time I won't weigh myself is a morning when I need to feel my absolutely most confident (like a court date for the damn divorce), because if it went up instead of down from the day before, that can mess with my head.

Im sorry for your pain. But take it from me, don't stay married to someone for 25 years who doesn't love you. You can never get those years back. As hard as this is right now, it is a blessing that he is showing his true colors to you this openly. Get your surgery, take care of yourself, and find all the support systems you can to stay on course. I filed for divorce four months after my surgery. It was years overdue. Blessings to you.

Here's a first. I had an elk burger (no bun) tonight. The waitress suggested ordering it medium instead of medium well since it is so lean and can end up dry. I did and it was really good!

Julie you're gorgeous!!!!

I know what you mean about not getting sick. I also got bronchitis each winter and every cold turned into misery. I've been banded almost two years now and I don't think I've been sick since surgery.

Jealous, Julie! It's so flipping COLD here!!!

Just checking in with my "family". I've been doing great with the food. Down to 194/193 and slowly bumping that down. I'm finding that the longer my food is clean (no bready or starchy carbs, zero fried food, moderate portions, no alcohol) my band is tighter. I get stuck a lot lately (every couple of days) if I don't chew well and don't slow down. I was eating radishes as a snack every day for awhile and then suddenly at work I got stuck on radishes. Radishes! The sliming was horrendous. And pink. Lol. Anyway, it has proven to me that I am indeed at the right fill level and need no more. The divorce is creeping forward slooooowly, but now that there's a trial date set, I'm looking forward with excitement to the new part of my life waiting for me this summer. I cannot stress enough how important working with a therapist and my 12-step groups has been for me going through all of this. I also have a couple of the best friends in the world and have had these people in my life since age 14. I rely on them so much, and they rely on me as well. I am truly blessed. Happy news. Eldest daughter has started to hear back this week from some of the ten graduate schools she applied to, and has been accepted to Emory, among others. She's flying high, and I'm as proud as a peacock. Hugs to all my peeps.

I am so sorry about your husband. I agree that we feel the feelings eventually. For me, I had to come to a realization that alternate addictions were where I was headed unless I faced the bad feelings head on. For me, therapy and 12 step programs have helped.

Very pretty!

Congratulations !!!

Starting to get them again.

What the heck? Suddenly today the icon said I had over 100 notifications (which was something new) but when I check for them I get this: (I have an iPhone 6)

Congratulations !! Very inspiring post!

I go to OA and have found it to be a key factor in my WLS success. I resisted working with a sponsor until a couple of months ago and that change has kicked my program into high gear. I am open about my LapBand in my meetings. I haven't found any negative feedback at all. As we here know, the WLS is a tool. Without addressing the mental, emotional and spiritual components of my relationship with food, it's only a matter of time before old habits return.