*LaLa*

Posting these is hard for me- But if they help someone- I’m all about being real. This is where I came from. Before wls I was at rock bottom in my life. I was overweight, in so much pain, addicted to opiates, in a miserable abusive marriage, terribly unhappy, i could barely work, so hard to walk, so hard to just live. I’d been on or off of a diet since I was eleven. I was constantly binging or starving myself. I’d tried every weight loss plan under the sun and I was totally burnt out. I’d tried therapy, you make it. Perhaps if I’d stuck to therapy that would have worked, but at the point I had surgery I was so exhausted I just needed something sure.
I was totally committed to the surgery although i didn’t follow the rules very well, I’ve never been good at self care. I couldn’t take care of myself well before surgery and i struggled to do that afterwards. It has taken a lot of work to get better at that.
I went in knowing what could happen and that i wouldn’t be able to eat normally again. It was worth it to me at the time.
My surgery had complications but the weight loss was easy due to a severe stricture that I had, plus i was just determined to lose the weight- nothing was gonna stop me. I did really well eating very little for a long time, I was so burnt out on food i was able to break my codependent behavior towards it. Maintenance was really really hard for me, I had issues with wanting to keep losing weight and not being able to stop. I rejected food so hard it was a real struggle to begin eating again and I had to seek therapy for that.
I’m doing well now and so much has changed. I have a very different outlook with food. I’ve also gone through plastic surgery 2x and I’m finished with that. I’m at my 3 year surgery anniversary on dec 4. My start weight was 240 and my current weight is between 130-135. I’m 5’6.
I went from 240 to 120 in about 10 months. My lowest weight was 115- scary. I’ve since gained to a healthy 130 ish. I try not to slide back into the 120s because I look sick at that weight. I don’t try and maintain my weight through dieting anymore, I practice “Intuitive Eating”. While being thin is nice and my weight is something I care about, these days I try not to weigh myself and I focus on overall health and well being. My next goal is to get more active with weight training and exercise.
Surgery is no walk in the park. I had a rough time and I still struggle. But it was worth it for me, as you can see. My weightloss did stall a week or two here and there. I never let that get to me, I just kept my calories low knowing eventually it would start again. During the weightloss phase I tried to focus on my life and stay busy rather than focus on every pound. I definitely ate very very little. I suffered from malnutrition and health problems because of this so I would not recommend it- take your Vitamins and get in your Protein.
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for choosing surgery. And don’t feel bad if weight loss takes you longer than others. My biggest regret is that I didn’t give myself more love before my surgery. But at least I gave myself enough to try and change my life for the better.
 

Wow, I really did not expect a response or at lease not that quick lol. It feels good to know that I'm not the only one who goes threw the jitters :-) The pros and cons list is a really good idea, I'm definitely going to do that. As far as me getting over my carb addiction well see. Thanks everyone who took the time out to respond to my message, it feels good to chat with people who have already gone threw this experience, I try to talk about it with my mother but she dose not understand and shows little interest in my weight loss, as a matter of fact the only thing she is worried about is if my skin is going to be hanging... LOL talk to you all soon.
Lala

Wow, I really did not expect a response or at lease not that quick lol. It feels good to know that I'm not the only one who goes threw the jitters :-) The pros and cons list is a really good idea, I'm definitely going to do that. As far as me getting over my carb addiction well see. Thanks everyone who took the time out to respond to my message, it feels good to chat with people who have already gone threw this experience, I try to talk about it with my mother but she dose not understand and shows little interest in my weight loss, as a matter of fact the only thing she is worried about is if my skin is going to be hanging... LOL talk to you all soon.
Lala