rhodywoman

Thanks everyone for you kind support! I just read a lot of stories that deal with complications and I wanted to share my experience. Hoven the "system" I have is one that took a few weeks to get in place. I was never very good at taking medicine or Vitamins and it was hard until I went to the Dollar Tree to get a medicine pill case. I didn't realize it but it had 7 marked days but each day had 4 compartments so I can put all my vitamins and medications and if I have to leave then I get to just take the day with me! No more inadvertently missed pills. I don't feel hungry but as a food lover I never had to be hungry to eat. So I eat on a schedule and I always have ready to drink shakes with me and Water. If I ever feel like I want to eat or think I want something off plan I grab a sugar free Popsicle and let the moment pass. Nothing I will ever eat could feel better than running upstairs, sleeping all night, or recognizing that I have a limit to how much food I could eat. I never thought this life was possible. Good luck on your journey. It's so worth it!

This may sound odd but in 2007, I quit smoking. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I smoked on such an auto-pilot that I needed something to occupy my hands and brain. If you can occupy for just a few minutes the feeling/craving/emotion can pass. I started folding origami. Something I could do at my desk at work or at home with ease. I started small than more challenging pieces. This worked very well for me. When I decided on RNY I took out my old stuff to have on deck as my coping mechanism. If it helped me get through quitting an 18 year multipack addiction it can help me with this. Best of luck to you. I'm nearly a month out from surgery and it's been the greatest decision!

In a previous post I mentioned that I don't have a scale in my house. I plan to keep it that way. I had my surgical follow up yesterday and I know that I've lost weight but I didn't know how much. Of course, my family decided to "weigh in" and guess my loss: Me - 15lbs Daughter - 17lbs Sis in Law - 19lbs Husband - 22.5lbs Mom - 23lbs It was actually 28lbs! I lost 28.bs in 19 days. Praise the Lord! Things have been going very well. Still no pain or nausea and I'm healing well. I look forward to being able to add swimming to my walking. I'm still in the puree foods until next week but even that's been fine. I keep praying that this process stays as it is. I'm loving it!

Hey everyone! My surgery was 12/3 and it was perfect. Minimal pain in hospital, none out, journaling everything has been wonderful. Only weigh myself at my surgeons so I'm not sure how much I've lost but I know my face smaller and people notice my loss right away. I love my shakes and getting my puréed food has been fine. No cravings for my old food life. Thanks be to God!!

This surgery has been a wonderful experience so far. I had zero complications from surgery, was able to walk immediately, and I haven't experienced any pain, gas or nausea. Glory to God for answered prayers.

My surgery was originally scheduled for December 10th but I was moved to December 3rd so exactly one week ago I was at the end of the beginning of this journey. I didn't know what to expect. I just knew that I wasn't anxious, nervous, or mourning. I was just excited. All I can say now is that everything went perfectly. I have very little feelings of hunger and no cravings or head hunger. I felt amazing the next morning and when I was discharged the afternoon of my second day the nurses said I was walking the floor faster than most of them. I left with a complete schedule of when and what to eat, a journal to track food, exercise, water, and emotions and a two year plan of surgeon, pcp, and nutritionists visits. The following morning at home I was greeting by the Visiting Nurse who reiterated my plan, checked my meds, and incisions, and just made me feel so at ease and so in control. This made me happy because I find one of the many themes I see on the forums is people not getting proper or just vague instructions after surgery. Even at this early stage I can see and feel that I'm losing. I tend to be a number obsessive so I don't have a scale in my home but I will wait until my surgeons first follow up appointment and see where I am. I don't want to worry about every half ounce or if I'm wearing a certain pair of shoes or jeans have clouded my results. I just want to follow the plan, stay focused, and let the tool do what it does. I'm not naive enough to believe that it's going to be like this forever but I feel like I'm off to a decent and prepared start. Bring on the next phase!

Shine on!

Honestly, you will never get that time back. As you know, so much happens in a hospital that it could've been anything. I say let your coordinator know what happened with a goal of working on the communication and the efficiency of information going to patients in waiting and let it go. Focusing on how you feel, getting your nutrients in, and exercise should be all you concern yourself with now. Good luck on your journey!

My mom was concerned when I first told her my intention to have surgery. Then I took her to the support group run by my program. When she saw how much support and help was available she changed her tune and was very supportive. There's a real risk to having any surgery but for many of us there's an equal risk to not have it.

I'm away for the weekend and my surgery is on Wednesday 12/3. I had trouble sleeping tonight and I walked to the bathroom and I was greeted by my reflection. Tired, nearly naked and in front of a wall sized mirror. At first I was horrified. Look at me! How did I let myself get this way? My arms can't go down to my sides, I carry most of my weight in my belly, and every curve and ripple have seemed to shout at me from the mirror. At 42 I'm way to young to look and feel like this. All I kept thinking was that I WAS FAT! Then I thought o a post I saw on Facebook earlier this year: You are not fat, you HAVE fat. You also have fingernails, you are not fingernails. Part of my weight journey is how I haven't been very gentle with myself. So critical. I have to remember that my entire life isn't just those three digits I've spent the last 30 years allowing them to control my feelings, my self esteem, my opportunities, and my future. As I prep for surgery I'm going to work on really loving myself. This body may not be perfect but it incubated two amazing children, finished a half marathon at 330 pounds, walked down the aisle with my amazing father into the loving arms of my husband, best friend, and champion. This body loves and has been loved. Every curve has a story. I've often feared through this process who would I become when I lose weight? I've been fat for so long what will I become. The beautiful, loving wife, mother, daughter and friend always was. Just now I'm going to love myself like I love others. I'm excited and ready.

Surgery was a breeze! Very little pain, no nausea, and a clean bill of health when I left. Surgery Wednesday checked out this afternoon. I'm not feeling hungry or deprived just taking it easy and learning how to sip! Amen! The journey begins!!

It's after midnight on the east coast so my surgery is today! I'm not nervous at all but it does feel like Christmas came very early this year. Praying for a smooth surgery and recovery!

I'm from RI! My approval took less than a week. My surgery is Dec 3. Best of luck to you!

We have the same day!

Bea, thanks for your honesty and sharing your situation. As someone who is 16 days from RNY would you mind sharing how you fell off the wagon and any advice for someone like me who is just beginning? Is there any support that I could give to you to help you on your journey back?

I tend to be a secretive person about personal things. I like to write and I feel I express myself best when I'm able to communicate with written words which is why I've been blogging in various formats for nearly 13 years. But there's another reason why I find so much comfort in writing. I like the anonymity of it. I like that I can express myself but not put myself "out there." When you put yourself out there you can get scrutinized, criticized or worse. Now you can read what I write and if you don't like it you can tell me so and that's fine. There's a digital layer of protection that there's that just doesn't feel the same when someone says something to your face... especially someone you know... or someone you love. Many people I know have made the decision not to tell people about their surgery and I understand that. I know there's a flood of misconceptions, judgements and everyone seems to know someone that has either died or had a major complication that they can't wait to tell you about. I fully support anyone making the decision to share or not share. How you handle this journey is your own. I've decided to share my story. I know that will open a floodgate of judgement both good and bad. The reason why I decided - after a long deliberation with myself - because there are two things I want to come from this weight loss. I want to be more honest with myself and I want to be available for anyone else going through this as well. For years I tended to hide my weight. You can't successfully hide 300lbs but you can try to deflect attention from it. I was always a very hard worker and I tend to put on a happy face and make jokes and entertain when I'm in groups. If I'm funny then you notice that and overlook how uncomfortable I am in my jeans or that I'm always trying to cleverly hide my stomach. I felt that if I gave into showcasing how unhappy I was with my weight that the stereotypes would come flying in! I'm lazy, unkempt, or unlovable. As these images were all my own I really fought to not portray those things to the world. I knew some people who were genuinely (or so they seemed) perfectly fine with their weight, whatever it was. They didn't care about it, obsess about it, and I so longed to be one of those people. I wanted to go to NAFA meetings and revel in my size but I was never comfortable with it. I was never okay with my weight but I let it confrol me forever. In order to live an authentic life I need to be able to put myself out there and putting this surgery journey out there is just one way to share my realities of my weight. My feelings about my weight and this journey are my own and I want to be honest with this and really let myself out of this self-imposed box I've been in for 30 years. I've wrested with the surgery debate for many years. From back in the early 2000s when people I know first started to get it done to when I seriously started looking into this surgery for myself. Coming from a small town in the nations smallest state there's not a whole lot of people just running around with information. My hospital is amazing but it's also 40 miles away and when your state is 45 miles long it's just not what we do everyday here. I want to make myself available to others because I think I learned so much from people who have been through this surgery that I want to be able to give that to someone else. I have no idea how this journey will be for me. I'm excited. Eager. Ready. My date was moved up a week so I only have 16 days before the next phase of my life begins. I'm going to share it all.

I'm sure my story isn't too different from anyone else's story but it's been on my heart to share it so here it goes. I've been overweight for many years. What started as simply overweight has morphed to morbid obesity. I've tried almost every weight loss program available from Deal-A-Meal when I was a teen to Ideal Protein at 40. I was always able to have moderate success with every program but I just couldn't maintain. After my latest failure with Ideal Protein I decided to look into the origins of when I started to overeat and why. This was profound. I started by writing the down the years of my life on a timeline. Then I went back and I wrote in my weight in each of the years. Then I went back and wrote down significant events - both positive and negative - that impacted those years and what I found astonished me. I sought to reconcile these feelings of shame, guilt, and anger that have been holding me emotionally hostage when I didn't even think that I was bonded to them anymore. Next I found a wonderful workbook about disordered eating and it took my thoughts and feeling about my weight to a new level of understanding. When my primary physician asked me about how I felt about WLS I was still of the belief that only people who were too far gone for "normal weight loss means" needed surgery and I just didn't want to believe that I was so far gone. I was initially hurt but didn't tell him how hurt I was. Once I got over my pity party and relooked at my timeline I realized that when I was working a program I was okay but I couldn't adapt to changes. Now that I have a better understanding of my eating behavior maybe this WLS could really be the tool that helps! After months of feverish research I decided I was ready to look into it. I found a local hospital with a phenomenal reputation and read everything I could. My husband was nervous. He said he didn't want to run the risk of my dying during the procedure. I told him he should fear me dying of a heart attack more. He went with me to the mandatory information seminar and we both learned a lot. My husband was ready to support my decision. This was important because I firmly believe a support system needs to be in place for this to work. My mother was also skeptical and fearful. Our hospital also has monthly support groups for both pre- and post-op patients and I took her and she was blown away with how much information and support was there. She left wanting the procedure herself! After a small hiccup with H. pylori I am finally scheduled for surgery. I know it's going to be work, I know that it's going to be a full life change but I know that I am more ready now - emotionally, physically, and mentally - than I have ever been in the past. December 10, 2014 - Surgery Bring it!

My surgery was originally scheduled for December 10th but now it's been moved up to December 3rd! No preop diet just Clear liquids day before. Preadmission testing on Nov. 26th. I'm so excited. I tend to be a little reclusive so I'm looking forward to having some partners in this December Surgery Group.

I haven't had surgery yet and you're going before me so I will be sure to check with you for advice. Best of luck and what a journey we're on!

Sorry this took so long to reply! It took me years to come to terms with having surgery but once I started really researching it I can't believe it took me so long! Now as far as H. pylori about 50% of the population will have it. The complication with surgery is if you have an active infection from it (this is how it was explained to me). I did have the infection so I took two horrendous weeks of antibiotics and I was cleared for surgery. If you check out my blog I have a post with more detail about my experience with H. pylori. My surgery date was moved up to December 3rd so I'll keep you informed!

MY TIMELINE July 2013 - Started researching WLS November 2013 - Spoke to primary doc about my thoughts December 2013 - Exhausted myself looking up surgeons and facilities January 2014 - Found Bariatric Pal February 2014 - Found the hospital and surgeon that I liked March 2014 - Hospital Mandatory Weight Loss Seminar April 2014 - Nutrition Appt - Previous medical weight loss program met my iinsurance 6mo requirement April 2014 - Psych Eval - Cleared on first visit June 2014 - Upper GI - All clear July 2014 - Sleep Study - CPAP (this seriously changed my life!) August 2014 - Final Pre-Op Appt - H. pylori detected September 2014 - H. pylori infection determined October 2014 - H. pylori cleared November 2014 - Final Pre-Op Part II December 10, 2014 - SURGERY!!!!

"A watched pot never boils." I can hear my mother say this in my head as I type. I know it's true but it doesn't make it any easier. As a Christian woman I also know that things happen on God's time and not mine and for His own reasons. Despite this knowledge, I still can't shake the agony of the wait... or of the weight. I'm just ready. As ready as I can be mentally for this surgery and things took off with such lightening speed and then came to a screaching halt. In my mind's eye I had the surgery in late summer and was able to take walks outside at sunset on the beach. I was fully healed and as a designer I would move into the busy holiday season without missing a beat. Eager to create new things allowing my mind to focus on something beautiful and creative and not how I'm not eating like I was this time last year. It was a great plan in my mind. Now, it's fall and I'm most likely not going to get on the surgery docket until November because I did have an active infection from the H. pylori. Although completely asymptomatic, I didn't think I would have the infection and I would have my surgery in September. Well, that didn't work out. So I had to have 2 weeks of antibiotics and then wait one month and re-test to make sure it's gone and then I can get a date. As long as everything is good. I've told myself a thousand times that this is wise because there have been many complications from people having surgery with H.pylori. The last thing I would want is to not heal well or properly. I know this is time that I need. But here I am still struggling with the wait. Rather w a i t. Or more like W A I T. I just need to have faith and know that I'll have this surgery when it's the right time... not just on my time.

I've been known to not see the forest for the trees meaning I can miss the big picture because I was fixated on a small detail. I've been working on it for decades... literally. Well today I received another wake up call that I can't believe hit me so strongly even though I've been wandering through this "forest" of my weight for quite some time especially considering my family history. Let's start with my family history. I come from a large family that came from large families. By large I mean both in number and in size. My father is 6'2" and he's quite fit and healthy always has been but he's one of the lucky ones. His brothers and sisters are all large - some exceedingly so - but the problems only begin there. Most of my family has high blood pressure. Many have diabetes and of my six brothers and sisters I'm the only one with a weight problem but I'm also the one without high blood pressure or diabetes. I was always lucky like that. But with my weight I always had another fear lingering in my head: my paternal Grandmother. She passed away at 39 years old of a heart attack. My father was hardly 15 years old and she died 5 days before Christmas. She left 8 children that she had nearly back to back and my Grandfather who pined for her until he joined her in heaven nearly 40 years later. She was easily 400lbs but stood well over 6 feet tall and towered over my Grandfather in pictures. I loved her confidence to wear heels and his to stand next to such a statuesque woman. Her death left many scars as you could imagine. Dying that young of heart disease is frightening but when you're the only person in your immediate family who shares her body style it's even more frightening. I remember every, single day of my 39th year wondering if that was going to be me. Is that my lot since I didn't get the other diseases? It was scary. I remember my Aunt saying, "In this family the women through parties when they hit 40!" I wondered if I would hit it too. I did and kept on my yo-yo dieting trail. So what happened today? I had to retest my H. Pylori test since the results were inconclusive. I asked the phelbotomist if she could tell me my A1c since my husband (Type 1 Diabetic) was curious. She asked me if I wanted a print out to compare my numbers after surgery. I said sure. When I got home I started really looking at the results and came across a cardiac test. The range they were looking for was between 1-10 and I got 8.42. I was fine with that. In the range. All of my things were in the range. I was good, right? After looking at it several times I looked at the risk analysis that was in smaller print below it. It said this test determines the presence of inflammation etc with the following risk assessments: Low Risk <1 Med Risk 1-3 High Risk >3 Wait! High Risk is greater than 3 and I'm sitting on 8.42? If I was over 10 they would have most likely done additional testing. Now this isn't the end all be all of risk and I'm sure if it was a major concern my doctor would have told me but I can't shake that I always knew there was a risk and that I was most likely in that risk. But to SEE it was totally different. On days when this is really tough and I can tell just from reading blogs that this is going to be very challenging I will remember this and think of the Grandmother I never got to meet but I share so much DNA with and I will not break down but handle it and live well into my 40s and beyond for BOTH OF US.

I had my pre-op follow up and it's been the first time that I've seen my actual surgeon since March. All of my pre-op work is done, all evaluations passed, all done, done, done. I was looking forward to hearing these words from my doctor: Your surgery date is... I didn't hear it. I'm glad I didn't hear it because if there's something wrong I want to know before surgery, not after where there could be complications. Apparently, my blood work showed that I have been exposed to H. pylori which is a bacteria that is found in 50% of the population. Although there are some symptoms to having it but most people are asymptomatic so they have no outward symptoms that there's anything wrong. I am one of those people. Thank God. But the issue with H. pylori is two-fold.It's my understanding (I am not a doctor) that If I have an active infection they need be sure that it's handled prior to surgery. They do this with a couple weeks of antibiotics and then re-testing to ensure that it's gone. The second issue is the overall health of my stomach since having RNY the "main" part of my stomach that is separated from the pouch will have limited access to it after surgery. Best case scenario: No active infection, healthy enough for surgery and I can be in the OR in early September. Worst case scenario: Antibiotics until infection is clear and I can be cleared for surgery once they ensure that I'm healthy enough to do it. October or November. Normally, I'd be panicking or freaking out but I'm actually grateful. Despite being 327lbs I dont' have high blood pressure, diabetes, or any other co-morobidity. I'm grateful that my testing showed that other than carrying this extra weight I'm otherwise healthy. This minor setback is exactly that: a minor setback. If it becomes a major setback then it becomes just that: a major setback. Either way I'm going to follow doctor's orders and stay the course. I should find out in a couple of days the results of the testing that will determine the next move. Until then... I just keep breathing.

When i made the call to the bariatric clinic in February I wasn't sure how this journey would turn out. I wasn't sure if my insurance would cover it, I wasn't sure if my family was going to accept it, I wasn't sure how long it was going to take. As the days progressed to weeks and then to months, I'm finally at the tail of the process and the beginning of the real adventure but it seems things have s l o w e d down considerably. I flew through the initial part of the process and everything went swimmingly until the sleep study which was a bit of a delay. Then my pre-op appointment was still several weeks from then (and still several weeks from now). So now I wait. And as they say: And idle mind is the devil's playground! I find myself going a little wild in my waiting time. I was so focused at the beginning of the process but now that i have a few weeks to go I'm eating things just because i know I can't eat them for a while. I think I've gained some weight and that can't be good since in my pre-op they may require me to lose more weight before surgery. I've decided that today is the day. Not tomorrow, not Monday, but TODAY I'm going to start making sure I have my water in, eating things that will help along this road, and really re-focus because I don't want to go this far and then discover that my surgery will be delayed because I wanted to indulge myself. I've spent the last 30 years indulging myself and it's time for a change. I'm going to weigh myself today and set a 10 pound goal for my pre-op appoitnment on August 18th. I'm going to accomplish this by drinking water, walking, and planning my meals and sticking to the plan! Did anyone else go completely off the rails during this time frame?