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churchgirl

Gastric Sleeve Patients
  • Content Count

    42
  • Joined

  • Last visited

2 Followers

About churchgirl

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 12/04/1955

About Me

  • Gender
    Female
  • Occupation
    Office Manager
  • City
    Syracuse
  • State
    NY

Recent Profile Visitors

818 profile views
  1. churchgirl

    June Sleevers Lets Get Excited!!!

    Hey June 18 Sleevers, So happy for you both - excellent progress. You both must look & feel great. Unfortunately, I’m a sleeve failure story. Started out great & the surgery was a piece of cake - no complications at all. But alas, life had its way of catching up with you & all of the emotional & mental problems connected with my eating were not solved with this tool either. I said from day one that it wasn’t my stomach but my brain that needed this operation because I knew all along I wasn’t strong enough. I just really hoped & prayed that I would finally be able to conquer this lifelong battle. I have learned a lot & I am seeing a psychiatrist. Some medication changes for anxiety have been made - I learned what I had been taking for over 10 years was actually causing increased appetite so that wasn’t helping! I also learned, at 63 years old that I am classic Attention Deficit Disorder. Not ADHD but it explains so much. Of course, this “syndrome” was not “invented” when I was a kid so I have a lot of work to do on that front. People keep asking me why I just can’t accept myself for who I am? I guess I was just always hopeful that somehow I could conquer my demons. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. And most likely, as I head to my primary care physician next month, I will be back on diabetes meds. That & the shear humiliation I feel from failing in front of so many so publicly is the worst thing of all. Sorry to be a such a bummer but I guess it’s important for people to know that there’s a lot more to all of this than just the surgery. And sometimes even some very useful tools and great intentions just aren’t enough. I am happy for you and for the hundreds of people that have been helped by Bariatric surgery. I wouldn’t change having it done. But I wonder often if the eventual loss and gain - still down 20 pounds from original highest weight was really worth it. continue to fight the good fight fellow June 2018 Sleevers.
  2. churchgirl

    June 2018 surgery

    Unfortunately, yes, all totaled.😞
  3. churchgirl

    June 2018 surgery

    Hey Purple Girl, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I am one year almost - 6/5/18 and while I am not sorry I had the surgery, I am so disappointed that I only have a 15 pound total loss to show for it. I started out great right afterward and lost 40 pounds from the surgery investigation start date but eventually, I figured out my way around the limiting the food you eat by grazing - just eating further apart so you don't get really over full. Which basically is where I started in the first place. Surgery really is only a tool just like everything else and unfortunately, I failed this test too. Never got around the reasons I was eating the way I was in the first place and even though I knew going in that my head needed surgery more than my stomach, I am so disappointed in myself. It felt so good to lose and get smaller clothes and feel better. I am going to counseling and also found out that the anti-anxiety meds I have been on for 15 years causes appetite increase. I also have been diagnosed as ADD! That wasn't even invented when I was a kid! LOL! I think that's why I have such a hard time planning and staying on track but honestly, I don't hold out much hope for the weight loss I was hoping for. And I will not have any other surgery. It's not the stomach/bypass, etc. It's the head. But that's not really the point of your question. I am really sorry you are going through so much. I can't say that I would be happy for the weight loss you have had if I had to go through feeling sick all of the time. One of the main reasons I had the surgery is that I HATE throwing up so I figured it would work because I would do everything I could not to be sick. That didn't work. But it seems so unfair that you are sick like this. I hope your doctor can figure this out for you! Prayers coming your way!
  4. churchgirl

    Food Addiction

    Baseball Mom, I had the sleeve surgery in June of 2018 & even before it, I wondered why I thought this would work because food was always my drug of choice in battling depression & anxiety. And, of course, 40 pounds lost later, I am right back to my old bad habits. I don’t eat til it hurts but I graze which is easy to do once you figure out you just have to wait until you’re not full. So, I finally took some advice from people on this site as well as the nurse practitioner who made me go for another psych eval because I was “sabotaging” myself. And I’m so glad I did! First of all, I don’t know if you’re taking meds but I found out the ones I take cause increased appetite & cravings for carbs! And the combination I take was actually making me functionally depressed but “flatlined ”. No enthusiasm, no get up & go! I just didn’t care! But in my head & heart I really do! So first, talk to a psychiatrist- not your primary care doctor! You need a psychiatrist to evaluate & monitor meds. Then I learned that I don’t have a “weight problem” as I’ve been told all my life - I have an eating disorder! I thought eating disorders were just bulemia or anorexia. I’m a compulsive over eater! And now I have started going to a counselor who specializes in eating disorders, my meds are monitored by a psychiatrist, & I’m attending Oveteaters Anonymous. I was told before surgery that the sleeve was just a tool & I would still have to work at loosing but I figured that I hated vomiting so much, I would never mess this up! Well, once I realized I could eat normal food again, I started right back into my previous bad habits! So now I know, you have to deal with the WHYS first! Why do I eat the way I do? Why am I sabotaging myself? And the only answer to that is therapy! You really should get help, it’s the only answer. Good luck & know I’m praying for you! I’ll keep you posted. Contact me anytime! Donna
  5. churchgirl

    ❤MARCH 2019 CHALLENGE❤

    Okay, just spilled my guts about totally screwing up from my 6/5/18 surgery & how I was gaining weight back & hopeless! So, in response to myself, I’m in - 10 days later - to this March challenge! Goal - lose the 10 pounds I gained since my lowest weight of 217 in July 2018. And go to a counselor! Best morning- prayer time, hot tea, & being fully awake because I went to bed on time for a change! 3 words to describe me - friendly, funny, lovin’ the Lord! Pray for me!
  6. Dear Getback, You are the answer to my prayers as I have been trying to find a forum or advice column to answer the same question! I knew from the get go that my weight problem was more in my head than in my stomach. And I really debated about having the surgery because I worried that I might go back to my old habits of grazing & having no control over carbs (especially sweets). Nothing ever stopped me before but I figured the fear of vomiting if I overate and having a greatly restricted stomach size would be the catalysts to finally help me take off the 100 pounds I needed to lose. The first three months after surgery were great. I lost 40 pounds, watched everything I ate, and generally did everything right. But slowly, I began to add things back into my diet - especially carbs. I had no problems with any foods except bread because I ate too fast & it got stuck. And I learned that, if I got full fast, I just had to wait an hour & I could eat again! So, of course, I was right. It was never about my stomach, it’s about my head. And the reasons I eat & the fact that I cannot pay attention or be that mindful to ANYTHING long enough to make it a habit. I really believe that I have Attention Deficit Disorder - it wasn’t “invented” when I was a kid! But I have every symptom & sticking to just eating high protein, small portions meant a lot of planning. I don’t think I’ll ever get that back again. And yes, I can blame a lot of this on the surgery coinciding with the most stressful times of my life ever - taking care of my elderly parents & having to put them in assisted living & the death of my oldest brother by heroin overdose. A job promotion & much more responsibility along with losing a friend because of the promotion, parents in & out of the hospital & being the only adult child around who could “handle” everything - the past two years have been a nightmare. And I thought having surgery would make me healthier to be able to handle taking care of everyone else. It did for a while but no more. Okay, TMI & I’m not really answering your question but what I have decided to do is go to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting & try & find someone for counseling as my Physicians Assistant recommended. I don’t have a lot of hope right now because I feel like I’m right back where I started from but I just can’t give up because those first few months were so good & I felt so great being able to fit in smaller clothes for the first time in 31 years. I had such hope. I wonder every day if I’ll ever get it back again. I hope you can find the strength & solution to get back on the journey of taking care of you! I will keep you posted. And if you find any good advice anywhere, let me know!
  7. churchgirl

    Arthritis pain, bad knees

    I was seriously considering bypass surgery until my surgeon said NO IBUPROFEN if I have bypass but perfectly OK with the sleeve. I have a bad disk in my back. I take Advil all of the time and have had no problem at all. Sleeved in June 2018.
  8. Mine were never covered either. Glued.
  9. churchgirl

    June Sleevers Lets Get Excited!!!

    Not going to lie, fellow June 2018 Sleevers, I haven’t lost any weight since late August. I did great in the beginning - lost 40 lbs. I was totally disciplined, there was no junk in the house & people at work were so considerate! No junk there either. But as soon as I was able to eat whatever I wanted, I went right back to my old grazing habits - which is really easy to do when you figure out that you can eat a little bit very few hours. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s all emotional eating & being unable to break some deeply ingrown bad habits. So angry with myself for going through all of this & then messing it all up! My Nurse Practitioner asked me why I am sabotaging myself & wants me to see a shrink but I’ve been there before & am highly skeptical that there’s anything new I can learn. After 30 years of serious eating problems & TRYING EVERYTHING to lose, I sincerely doubt there’s anything new under the sun. And I really think I should have had brain surgery instead of sleeve because this problem is all in my head! I can’t stop the negative thoughts because I’ve been here so many times before, giving myself the same berating & still not able to change for any length of time. I know I have ADD & have never been able to focus for long. I don’t know why I thought this time would be different. Its New Years Day & I haven’t even tried to make resolutions because, if sleeving didn’t work, nothing will. Sorry to be such a downer. I want to just accept myself as I am but I just can’t believe I am such an idiot! Oh well, maybe tomorrow I’ll have the will to try again. 😞
  10. churchgirl

    How long does hair loss last

    This topic is very interesting to me because I started experiencing hair loss in October - big time! Went to my Nurse Practitioner yesterday for usual check and she said I should not be experiencing hair loss because it only happens when you've had significant weight loss like over 70 lbs. She said it's probably my thyroid. I've lost 40 since surgery in June. She did blood work to test my thyroid and it looks okay to me! My TSH 2.330 u[IU]/mL Normal is 0.270 - 4.200 u[IU]/mL Another mystery to solve
  11. churchgirl

    Following surgery with Weight Watchers

    Dear Lovin2lose I’m 4 months post op, down 30 lbs. i joined weight watchers at one month post op mainly for the accountability. The free points program is working for my friends but my Nurse Practitioner told me that WW is not good for anyone having Bariatric Surgery. The plan actually requires you to eat much more than you’re supposed to any time after surgery. I ended up leaving because I was spending a lot of money to get weighed every week but not really following the program. Really not learning anything new & then they changed the program after I was in for 3 months! Though I know it works for some people, it seems that at least 99% of the people in any of the WW groups I have joined over the years have reached goal & then gained all of the weight back - and then some. I really liked the leader but weight watchers is a HUGE profit making industry that is very expensive as are all of their foods, snacks, gadgets, etc. And constantly changing the program costs people even more! NP told me to follow the plan given by the nutritionist - 3 meals, no in between, and 1/2 a protein shake if I get hungry in between. She actually said, at 3 months post op, that I should still be eating with the small cups - 3 ounces of food. I haven’t done that in weeks and it seemed crazy to me mostly because I seem to be able to eat pretty much anything I want. I do have problems with bread types of food like bagels, pizza crust, rice, etc. They seem to expand in my throat- probably not chewing enough. So, bottom line for me is WW is useless for Bariatric Surgery people. That said, I would be remiss in not mentioning that I am in big trouble because I feel myself slipping back into my old bad habits & addictions again. Life has been extremely stressful since the surgery but I know I can’t use that as an excuse. I think I should have had brain surgery instead of sleeve surgery! I started out so great but never dealt with the emotional, mental, & habitual reasons I’ve always eaten the way I do. I am so disappointed in myself & so angry that I went through all of this surgery only to lose 30 pounds. I don’t regret the surgery & I guess I should be happy because I haven’t lost weight in years but reality is that I needed to lose at least 100 to get to a healthy, non obese weight. I am losing hope.😞
  12. churchgirl

    June Sleevers Lets Get Excited!!!

    Can I ask, what are acid pills?
  13. churchgirl

    June Sleevers Lets Get Excited!!!

    Omgoodness! You look awesome! Congratulations! Honestly, you look like a completely different person & I mean that people who knew you before surgery probably don’t even recognize you! You gave me inspiration to do better! Congratulations again!
  14. churchgirl

    5 things I've learned 5 yrs out

    I loved your post! Thanks for your insights! I am going to hold on to this!
  15. churchgirl

    June Sleevers Lets Get Excited!!!

    Hey Snapple! I’ve been out of the June Sleevers loop lately (6/5 down 35 pounds). Sounds like you are doing great! I am at a weird plateau & have been for a few weeks. And I’m feeling like I’ve gotten right back into all of the old bad habits I had for 30 years! I’m so disappointed in myself because everything went so well with the surgery & I felt great losing the weight! So much more energy, getting back into clothes I haven’t worn in years! I was so hopeful. But in the last few weeks everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong. And my entire life focus has had to change again. My parents - aged 90 & 87 are needing more & more care & even tho we hired an aide, things just keep getting worse. Both have dementia & Mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer. So I’m trying to get them into assisted living, get my Mom’s cancer plan in place, constantly taking them to doctors appointments, working full time, (I just got a promotion!) take care of my family, and I’ve had absolutely no time to plan, track my food, exercise, or take care of me! I feel like I never even had surgery! I do get full fast but if I just wait a while, I can eat again. I’ve starting grazing again! And, just like before, I wake up every morning & say, “Today is the day! I’ll start again. “ and like before, it doesn’t happen. Arghhh I am so mad at myself! Anyway, sorry to be a bummer! I think I need to get back into this blog & eat like I did after surgery. Maybe some encouragement will help! keep up your great work!

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