kkpep

Welcome to the Fan Forum: for WLS Family and Friends! This is the space in BariatricPal that is specifically for spouses, other family members, and close friends of weight loss surgery patients. Unconditional love and support get WLS patients through their journeys, and close family and friends are the main sources for many WLS patients.
I introduced this forum to welcome all WLS supporters and give you the support you need to keep being strong for your own WLS patient. This forum is for family members and friends of WLS patients. I also encourage potential and post-op WLS patients to post here. You can provide first-hand advice on how to be a more effective supporter.
These are some of the suggested topics for this forum.
What are the most important steps you can take to support someone who is preparing for weight loss surgery or who is following the weight loss surgery diet? When do WLS patients want your input, and when do they want you to be a silent supporter? What you need to know to know about the weight loss surgery diet and lifestyle to be able to encourage the best choices. Where can you go for more information? Taking a break from being the strong one…because sometimes supporters need to be supported. What to do when you need a little attention instead of focusing completely on your loved one’s weight loss all the time How can you prevent frustration with the new lifestyle? You support your loved one’s efforts, but you have made your own sacrifices, such as spending less time with your spouse because he or she needs to exercise, or giving up your favorite foods because they are no longer allowed in the house. Enjoy the forum! I hope it helps us all become better aware of each others’ needs and ultimately helps us all become healthier.

Thanks for putting this post out there.
It would be awesome to have a group for those of us that need encouragement as we support our loved ones.

Good suggestion! We had a Spouses forum on one of our previous sites and shut it after a few months due to lack of interest and use. I've recently received more requests for this than usual. I'm going to add a Spouses forum shortly and hopefully it'll take off this time around.

I had a very similar experience with a friend. When I first told her, she made me feel very bad about myself and actually told me I had not tried hard enough to lose weight on my own. Even now after surgery, she refuses to acknowledge my weight loss, or changes the subject if people ask me about it. I have distanced myself from her, but still run I to her as we have the same group of friends. What I have learned the hard way is, surgery is about you, no one else. This is the time you take to worry about your health and what YOU want to do. Others will fall in line, or have to get out of the way. If this is what you desire, then do it, and don't look back!

As my surgery date draws nearer (12/31/2013), my girlfriend is going through some mixed emotional feeling about the changes in our relationship after my surgery and weight loss. I'm sure there are many other girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, parents and grandparents of those who are pre-op or Post-op who would benefit from a forum of their own to connect with others and express how they feel, build support for one an other and learn ways to support their loved ones who made the choice to live a healthier life. You can even break the forums down by: pre-op loved ones support, post op loved ones support.
Thanks,
Joe

My boyfriend is going to have the surgery is scheduled for 12/31. He is very open and honest with me. Honestly, I'm scared for him and us. I understand how family/friends react. I just want to see him feel good about himself. I will love him no matter how he looks,
Sorry for the ramble but when you have made the decision go with it, it is for your health. Believe in your and your decision.